Broken Words, Broken Hearts

by Elisabeth

  “Hey.”

  “Hey, Asha.” I smiled, even though she couldn’t see it on my face.

  “Hey, ma-ma, how are you?” That was the nickname she’d called me since she was a baby. It made me miss her so much more.

  “I’m good actually. You called at the right time because I have something to tell you.”

  Asha and I were as close as sisters could be. We were close, of course, but she and my youngest sister, Nadira, were best friends. They were like twins, inseparable. I didn’t know what they would do when one of them got married or moved away. As if I summoned her, Nadira’s voice was heard in the background.

  “Ma-ma, what’s up? You got something juicy to tell us? You got yourself a sexy man from the big city?” she teased.

  I laughed as my GPS prompted me to take a turn soon.

  “Where the hell are you going at this hour, hmm?” Asha asked.

  I shook my head. These two never minded their damn business, and it showed.

  “That’s what I wanted to tell you guys about. So, we got a new photographer who is going to oversee capturing everything Minerva and I put together on the portfolio. Get this. On top of that, she wants me to do the editorials for the whole project!” I squealed at the end.

  My sisters stopped whatever it was that they were doing in the background and cheered. This brought the biggest smile to my face.

  “Oh, my God, Neema!” Nadira screamed my name. “You did it! Your first project. I’m so happy for you! We’ve been praying for you to get this. This is the best news ever!”

  “You go, big sis! You did it, baby!” Asha spoke up. “We told you, soon enough, you’d get what you truly wanted. We are so proud of you sis, seriously. You gonna tell mama and papa?”

  “Thank you so much, guys! Yeah, I’ll tell them, but first, I want to be done with the project. Then, I will send them a copy of everything with my name on it. I know that they are proud of me despite everything, but I want to make sure I give them something to boast about when they are talking to family back home.”

  Nadira laughed.

  “Girl, nobody cares about the family back home. We told you not to care about their opinion. They don’t even know how much or how hard you work. They just think that you’re slacking, always.”

  Asha chuckled.

  “Dira’s just mad that everybody wants an invitation to her and Liam’s wedding. She’s been so irritated, but that’s what happens when you’re the first child to get married in the family.”

  The joy that I felt with my baby sister, Nadira, getting married was something else. Liam made her happy, and it made us happy to see her so in love.

  “This is why I am never getting married. Too much stress, man,” I said as I pulled up to Dragos’s house.

  An ache in my heart told me that I was lying to myself, but there was no one that would call me out on that lie, or so I thought.

  “Girl bye!” Asha exclaimed. “We all know that had it not been for a certain someone who took your heart with him, you would’ve been married with probably like five kids running around your house right now. Don’t lie to us.”

  I kissed my teeth.

  “Umm, first of all. Five kids? Are you crazy? I don’t even know if I want more than two, and three is pushing it.”

  Nadira snickered.

  “She didn’t even deny what you said about her pale-blue eyed bear.”

  That nickname made me gasp as I parked my car in the driveway.

  “Dira, please. He is not mine anymore. He’s got a wife or a girlfriend or something.” I rolled my eyes as I turned my engine off.

  “How the hell do you know? Hmm?” Asha questioned.

  “Well, that’s what I was trying to get out before y’all started on about nothing,” I teased. “So, he is the very important client that I’ll be working with! Yay!” I faked enthusiasm.

  Both my sisters were speechless. I took this opportunity to rush off the phone instead of hearing what they had to say about it.

  ****

  I was impressed with the house. It was a beautiful beige colored home that had one of those balconies in front of the house on the second floor. I immediately fell in love with it from the outside alone. I’d always wanted a second-floor balcony, even if I was afraid of heights. I sighed as I cleared my throat and my head. This wasn’t about all of that. I had one mission, and it was to get his signature and get out of here.

  I took the two little steps up to the front of the house and rang the bell. As I waited, I turned to look around the neighborhood. It was a pretty quiet area, and I loved the peace of it all. I heard the door open, so I turned my attention back, which was stupid of me. Why did I look away to begin with? I should’ve been prepping myself for this moment. I simply stood there, staring at the one man that took everything from me—everything that I willingly gave him with no complaints. Dragos had opened the door in basketball shorts. A black tee-shirt clung to him from the evident sweat that he must’ve worked up. His hair was pulled back into a bun that made his features much more apparent.

  I blinked, not sure what I was supposed to be doing or saying. I mean, yes, there was something I should be talking about, but this was the man I loved for so long. I was over him, but sometimes, my foolish heart and eyes forgot that. One was beating like crazy while the other was ogling him as though he had been put there to defy the odds of how a man was supposed to make you feel after so many years. How was it that in ten years he looked even more delicious than he did years ago?

  He was saying something, but all I saw was his mouth moving. He was breathing hard as if he stopped mid-workout. What time was it anyway? How many times a day did he workout? Why was I even asking all these ridiculous questions? Just then, a voice snapped me out of my shameless enjoyment of my ex-fiancée. Yes. That was something that only he, my sisters, and I knew about, but that’s what he was.

  I looked down to figure out where that voice was coming from and saw the spitting image of Dragos. A little boy hung unto his leg, kind of hiding but not as he was curious to see who was there.

  “Is it the pizza? Wait, no, she can’t be the pizza lady because they usually dress up differently. How come you’re not dressed like the pizza lady? That doesn’t make sense,” he said sort of answering the questions himself.

  Those big pale blues struck me speechless. I didn’t know what else to say, except, “You have a son?” I asked with anger hinted in my tone.

  I truly didn’t mean it. He could do whatever he wanted but seeing his son in front of me made me angry. I was upset that he went out and had a kid while I didn’t. I didn’t want to have what I wanted with him with someone else. I knew it was stupid to think that way, but I couldn’t help who I was.

  “Amir, say hi. This is Neema. Neema meet my nephew, Amir.”

  My eyes shot up to meet his amused ones.

  “Nephew?” I questioned.

  “Yes, Defne’s son, but legally, he’s my son. So, yes, I guess you could say he’s my son.” He smiled.

  His sister had a son. Where was she? I missed her too. We, unfortunately, lost touch. I didn’t want any trace of Dragos, so I had to stop talking to her. I glanced at the little boy again. He was so beautiful, and he was Defne’s. It made me smile.

  “How is she doing? And what do you mean legally he’s yours? I’m confused.”

  “Defne’s…gone,” Dragos answered me, his voice dejected.

  That made me look up at him once more, and my smile was gone. His sister, she died. I knew just how much he loved her, so to know that he lost her broke my heart.

  “I’m so sorry,” was the only thing that came out of my mouth.

  “It’s alright,” he replied and glanced down at Amir. He gave a sad smile as he reached out, gently patted his head, and moved some of his curly hair out of his face. “Come in.”

  Why was I looking at Dragos differently? I must’ve been on something to care. I told him I didn’t care about him, and I meant it. Nothing he did matter
ed to me anymore, but the sad expression that took over his smiling one caused me pain. Why did it, though? I was over him. I loved him ten years ago with emphasis on the ten.

  Chapter 4

  Dragos

  Both Amir and I watched Neema as she sat at the dining room table. She was pulling her laptop out of her computer bag along with her documents. Neither of us made any sound or movements as we stood in the doorway watching her. She didn’t notice how comfortable and in her element she was as she did that, but it brought old memories back. Memories I didn’t need interfering with my thoughts right now.

  When I first met Neema, it was through a mutual friend. She wasn’t even in my program, but Eric wanted to meet up with his girlfriend. Funny enough, his girlfriend’s friend was Neema. There I was, the student who didn’t want to do much but focus on finishing up his law degree and move back home to work in his dad’s law firm. Photography for me at the time was just a hobby. I hadn’t taken it seriously just yet.

  I made Eric happy by accompanying him to the bar as he and his girlfriend sat across from me, basically eating each other’s faces off. Neema was running late because she had a late exam. I couldn’t forget how speechless I was when she walked up to the table. She didn’t even bother with interrupting her friend, Carla, as she sat in the empty chair by me. She smiled, rolling her eyes.

  "Finally, someone else to come and endure this torture of kiss-face like I have to,” she said as she shrugged her jacket off, revealing the hoodie and jogging pants ensemble.

  “I’m Neema Kamau, by the way. You must be Eric’s friend.” She stretched her hand out to me.

  I blinked, for a moment not sure what I was supposed to be doing. She tilted her head, probably wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I cleared my throat as I lightly shook my head.

  “My apologies. I’m Eric’s friend, Dragos Demir. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” If I knew at the time that she was reacting to how I spoke to her, I would’ve kissed her sooner.

  Neema gasped as glee filled and took over her entire face. She clasped her hands in front of her face.

  “You have an accent!” She practically squealed. “I freakin’ love it. The way you just pronounced your name was…wow,” she said as she sighed.

  I wasn’t expecting that, which prompted my laughter. I couldn’t hold it in if I wanted to, and it shocked a few people around us. Even Eric and Carla stopped kissing and stared at me. I eyed Eric.

  “What?” I asked.

  “You actually know how to laugh, Dragos?”

  That surprised me. I laughed all the time when I was talking to my family back home. Did these people think I had no emotions or something? Carla laughed at her boyfriend’s remark. She looked at her friend, the beautiful Neema.

  “He has never laughed like that. What did you say to him?”

  If her gorgeous shade of brown sugared skin could show her blushing, I was sure this would be the moment. I saw it all in the flutter of her eyes as she glanced my way and then back at her friend. She lightly chuckled as she attempted to drink the water that was meant for her. She drank a little and placed it down, then decided to just be out with it.

  “I told him that I loved his accent and the way he pronounced his name.” She shrugged.

  Carla threw her head back and laughed her strawberry blonde head off. After she settled down, she shook her head at Neema.

  “Yeah, Dragos here is from Istanbul. He’s Eric’s roommate, and they’re taking law together. Oh! He also speaks Italian, my dear little Neema.”

  Neema had an expressive face as her eyes grew bigger as she looked at me. She looked ready to explode from the excitement. She turned her entire body towards me in her chair, and it gave me the chance to look her over. She was small. Even from when she came in, I could tell that we weren’t anywhere near each other in height. Not only that, her body was on the slimmer side than what I usually liked, but it didn’t take away from those expressive doe-eyes.

  “You speak Italian?” she asked me.

  “Si, bella,” I teased.

  She squealed.

  “Oh, my God! I know what that means! Can you teach me? Please. Pretty please with a cherry on top?”

  All of my thoughts turned dark. I wanted her to beg me just like she was doing right now. I cleared my throat from all the thoughts that tried to fill my head. I nodded.

  “Evet,” I said in my mother tongue.

  “What does that mean?” She was intrigued.

  “It means yes, in Turkish,” I answered her with a smile.

  She was beaming as she smiled so sweetly at me. The next thing I knew, she had her arms wrapped around my neck as she hugged me. I think this was the moment that I fell in love with her, but I didn’t know it yet.

  ****

  I snapped out of the memory right before it fast-forwarded to us dancing the night away, and I was pulling her in for the first of many kisses. We weren’t that couple that pretended we didn’t want each other. Instead, we were the type that enjoyed the teasing. We knew we were going to end up together, but we had fun until we were so in love that we couldn’t see our right from our lefts. Then, I had to make the hardest decision in my life, which was to walk away from her. I had never wanted to hold her and kiss her like I wanted to do that night that I walked away. If I had, then my uncle, or rather the entire Demir family, would’ve done something to her. I knew what kind of family they were; I had never lied to myself about how much money my family seemed to have. Even with the businesses and law firms, we were hardcore gangsters. We were the mafioso, but none of that meant a thing to me as much as she did. To this day, I was never going to ever tell her why I walked away. I’d rather her see me as the world’s worst ex-fiancée than the man who sacrificed even his love for her so that she wouldn’t be harmed.

  At that time, I had no power or say, but now, none of them could touch me. I proved that I was indeed a Demir. I showed them the name meant nothing to me without my family. They already took my baba away from me then snatched away my choice to be with the one woman I loved. As if that wasn’t enough, they took my baby sister. I didn’t have any more love to give out, except to my anne and Amir.

  Damn! Seeing Neema in front of me conjured up more memories than I had in a while. Of course, I didn’t forget her, despite not thinking about her all the time. Yet, the one memory that decided to take over my mind at this moment was of that same night.

  After we got some drinks in us, Neema couldn’t sit still. She danced in her seat though as we all talked and laughed instead of worrying about the world for one day. Unfortunately, that didn’t last long as Janet Jackson’s song, “All For You,” began playing. The moment the first words began and then the beat, Neema lost it. She stopped mid-drink and mid-convo as she stood and walked away from us, moving her hips side to side. Carla was amused while Eric and I just stared, not sure what to make of it.

  Neema made it to the dance floor. She threw her hands up in the air as she moved her body to the music. She didn’t even care who was there. Instead, she sang along with the song and kept up with her dance moves. In the middle of the song, she realized she was dancing without the rest of us. She made her way back to the table, and I thought she was going for Carla, but instead, she came to me. She grabbed both my hands, placing them on her waist as she kept on dancing.

  “Come, dance with me, please?” She smiled.

  “Hmm, I’m not a big dancer,” I answered.

  “How do you say please in Turkish?” She narrowed her eyes.

  “Lütfen,” I responded.

  “Lütfen…” she asked me with the sweetest voice ever. She even had the audacity to pull her bottom lip into her mouth.

  I groaned. Not able to deny her, I stood towering over her.

  “Lead the way,” I said.

  Neema winked.

  “Baby,” she finished the sentence for me.

  “Baby,” I repeated after her. We walked away, leaving a laughing yet astonished Carla and Eri
c.

  ****

  Neema

  Pretending to be busy, while both the nephew and uncle had the same penetrating stare, was hard. They stared at me as though there was nothing else to look at in this gigantic home. One thing I could congratulate Dragos on was the fact that he did what he said he was going to do. He went after his dream and didn’t look back. I was proud of him, but I did wonder if he ever finished school and got his law degree. I was curious, yes, but hell no I wouldn’t ask. If he was still the same Dragos from before, he would eat that up, loving that I still cared about him. I straightened my back. I would not be bullied by those damn beautiful, pale blues. I met Dragos’s eyes as he stared back into mine. I almost wavered, but I was Neema Kamau. No one, especially not my sexy ex-fiancée, could make me waver in my goal here tonight. I came to have him sign the contract that he was supposed to be looking over instead of peering up at me every chance that he got.

  Did he know that his nephew literally did what he did? His nephew didn’t talk much, but he stuck by his uncle. Dragos didn’t seem to mind that Amir was joined to his hip. Instead, he seemed to be used to it. The only time Amir didn’t do what Dragos did was when he was eating the pizza that finally came. He contently ate with his sidekick that I didn’t notice until after I came in. It was a white and grey Alaskan Malamute named Red that looked big enough to eat me. He sat back, observing me as though he knew something about me. After Amir was done eating, Dragos helped him clean up. Then, he sat back near his uncle, this time doing what he did. Amir had his own papers that he looked over, and it was the cutest thing ever when he nodded his head just like Dragos. After that, he would narrow his eyes as if making sure he got all the small details. Then, he’d look up at his uncle and turn to me. Amir had yet to talk to me again, but what he did give me was a smile. He would glance up at me, tilt his head, and smile as though he knew a secret that I didn’t know of.

  “Hmm…” Dragos groaned as if he was satisfied with something in the contract.