Jamie’s hand curled over my cheek and I leaned into it, closing my eyes.
“I have to. Without a plan, you’ve got chaos. If you deviate … shit happens. Bad shit, Jamie. The plan’s necessary.”
“No, life’s necessary. Living it. Enjoying it. One day at a time.”
I opened my eyes. “I don’t know how to do this, Jamie. How to make everyone happy.”
“You don’t have to. That’s not your job,” she said softly seconds before her lips pressed against mine.
When she didn’t pull back, I slid my tongue into her mouth, licking, tasting, exploring.
I needed this woman like I needed air. I didn’t want to push her away, that wasn’t my intention. Or maybe it was, but it obviously wasn’t what I wanted.
Jamie whimpered, holding onto me. “Edge…”
Backing her toward the bed, I eased her down, crawling over her without releasing her mouth.
“I need you.”
“You have me,” she whispered, leaning up to meet my lips with hers.
Her hand curled around my head, holding me there as I kissed her, my hand working to free her from the robe. When her cool fingers began unbuttoning my slacks, I considered putting this on ice.
You heard her. Get out of your own way.
“I don’t have a condom,” I muttered as she forced my slacks over my hips, using her feet to force them down farther.
“I’m on the pill.” Her eyes met mine. “And I trust you.”
I pulled away long enough to kick off my slacks, returning as Jamie tossed the robe to the floor. As I kissed her, I used my fingers to tease her open, to get her ready for my cock. While this woman deserved hours of foreplay, I couldn’t give it to her now. I needed to feel her around me, needed to bury myself so deep inside her she’d feel me in her soul.
Jamie squirmed against my fingers, soft mewls coming from her, and I prayed she was ready for me.
“Please,” she pleaded. “Inside me.”
I guided my cock to her entrance, pressed the head against her warm, tight entrance. I broke the kiss so I could look in her eyes as I slid into the heaven of her body.
“Jamie … baby.”
She buried her face in my neck, her arms sliding around me as I thrust in, retreated. She felt so good beneath me, as though we were meant for one another. The way she panted my name, her hands groping over my back, her hips rocking against mine … it was perfect in every way.
Over and over, I drove into her until we were panting, sweat slicking our bodies as we moved together as one.
Jamie squeezed my hips with her thighs, pulling me to her. “More,” she whispered. “I need more. All. Give me all of you.”
“I can’t do that.” I couldn’t. If I did, I would hurt her.
“I’m not asking for your heart,” she clarified.
I smiled. “You already have that.”
Her eyes flared slightly. “All of you, Edge.”
I shook my head.
“You can,” she insisted, meeting me thrust for thrust. “All of you.” Her teeth nipped my collarbone. “Everything.”
I slammed into her, paused as I watched her eyes glaze with desire. Retreated slowly. Slamming into her again, I curled my hand behind her thigh, holding her there as I impaled her, taking and giving exactly as she requested. Her soft whimpers turned to urgent pleas and I couldn’t stop. Her pussy gripped me, pulling me in deeper. I was completely lost to this woman, so fucking lost.
“Fuck,” I growled. “Baby … fuck. I need you to come for me. Come all over my cock.”
I thrust into her, insane with the need to feel her pussy clench around me. I wasn’t gentle, and when her nails scraped down my back, I knew she didn’t need gentle. This woman needed me. Not the man who wanted to protect her but the one who wanted to own her.
I slid one hand under her head, fisted her hair, and held her there, staring into her dark, lust-filled eyes. “Come for me, sweetness. Right … fucking … now.”
Jamie screamed, her back bowing as her knees gripped my hips tightly. Her pussy locked on my cock, squeezing, ripping my orgasm from me. I came for what felt like an eternity, holding her in place.
It was then I knew she wasn’t going to be my undoing.
She already was.
Jamie
IT WAS PROBABLY BAD FORM TO SLIP out on a man after sex, but that was exactly what I did.
The instant Edge was asleep, I slid to my feet, snatched my dress, and made my way to the living room. I knew I looked like I’d been well-fucked because I had, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I hadn’t brought anything with me, so I was screwed.
Being that we were in an upscale hotel, I took a moment in the secondary bath near the door, washed my face with the tiny bar of soap, finger-combed my hair, then figured it was the best I could do. Hopefully no one would think I was a prostitute, but if they did…
Well, there were worse things.
By the time I made it to the lobby, my Uber was pulling up. Luckily, during one of our previous conversations, Cav had mentioned the hotel he was staying in. Gave me the room number, even. I only hoped he was there, otherwise, I would be on my way home without fixing what I’d clearly broken.
Wishing I’d thought to go home first, to shower and change, freshen up, I forced my feet to move through the lobby, ignoring the eyes of the night manager, pretending I had every right to be there. The elevator took me to the seventh floor. I stepped out to silence, glanced at the sign on the wall. I stopped at the door with his room number and knocked before I could change my mind.
No one answered.
“Shit,” I muttered, knocking again, this time louder.
I wouldn’t blame Cav if he didn’t answer the door. In fact, I was preparing for that when I heard the distinctive click of a deadbolt being unlocked.
Cav didn’t offer so much as a forced smile when he pulled the door open, revealing his near-naked form. He briefly peered into the hall, probably looking to see if Edge was with me. I stood there nervously, waiting for him to say something.
“What do you want, Jamie?” His tone was clipped, his voice raspy with sleep.
“May I come in?” The last thing I wanted to do was grovel in the hallway. I would, sure. But it wasn’t ideal.
Cav pulled the door wider, took one step back. I walked inside, my heels clicking muffled by the thin carpet.
The door shut behind me and I turned to see Cav waiting, an impatient expression, his thickly muscled arms crossed over his immaculate chest. It didn’t help that he was wearing only a pair of boxers.
I shifted my small clutch from one hand to the other, my tongue tied. I had no idea what to say to fix the rift I’d put between us.
“Why are you here, Jamie?”
“I…” Crap. This was far more difficult than I’d thought it would be.
“Spit it out. I’m tired.”
Ouch.
“I’m sorry about what I said, how I made you feel,” I blurted. “I honestly didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”
“Didn’t you?” he countered. “It’s not the first time you added me in as an afterthought.”
My hands shot to my hips, my defenses falling into place. “That’s not true.”
He sighed, running his hand through his sleep-mussed hair. “I think it’s fair to say I know where I stand with you, Jamie.”
“No, you don’t.” He couldn’t. I’d never told him.
“It’s always been about Edge,” he stated softly. “All of this. It’s a game, one that was fun while it lasted. I think it’s best if we both accept that.”
I glared at him, decided to go with the truth. “Yes. At first, maybe this was about him.” I took a step closer. “Right up until I met you.”
“Then what? You thought it’d be fun to rotate us out?”
“That’s not fair,” I said softly, pain lancing my insides, causing my eyes to fill with tears. I fought them back. I didn’t want his sympathy, I just need
ed to apologize.
“You’re right,” he huffed.
I knew he was hurting, could see it on his face. His hurtful comments were to make me feel what I’d made him feel. I understood that.
“Did you fuck him?” His eyes were cool, but his tone wasn’t.
“What?”
Cav took a step closer, his gaze zeroing in on my face. “You heard me. When I left, did you fuck Edge?”
I didn’t like his tone. It made me feel cheap and dirty and what happened between Edge and me was not that.
“That’s what I thought.” He turned back to the door, opened it. “I think it’s best you leave.”
Swallowing hard, I started toward the hallway. Evidently, I wouldn’t be fixing this. For one, I didn’t know how. Just as I was about to give up all hope of making this right, I changed my mind.
I stepped right up into his personal space, slid my hand up to his cheek. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “The last thing I’d ever do is hurt you.” His eyes locked on mine, but he didn’t move. “And you have never been my second choice. Ever.”
I’d promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but the tears formed anyway. I fought them back, swallowed repeatedly, trying to fend off the onslaught of emotion.
“I’m sorry, Cav,” I whispered.
“Damn it, Jamie,” he growled, his arms going around me, pulling me into him.
That did it. The dam broke and tears flooded as his big, warm arms wrapped me in tight. I pressed my cheek to his, holding on, never wanting to let him go.
When he released me, the warmth faded instantly. I furiously brushed the tears away, not wanting him to see me fall apart.
“Where’s Edge?” he asked, leaning his forehead against mine, his palm curling around the back of my neck.
“I left him at the hotel. Asleep.”
He sighed.
“I didn’t know what else to do,” I explained. “I needed to talk to you, to explain. It couldn’t wait until morning. I can’t bear the thought of you being upset with me.”
Cav released me, took a step back, another sigh racing out of him as he moved toward the small dresser beneath the television.
I didn’t know whether to follow or to leave. I’d never been in this position before. In fact, I’d never thought I would be. Leaving one man’s bed to come to see another man? Who in their right mind ended up in that predicament?
I heard him open the small refrigerator, close it. I thought about joining him but stared at the door. This was a mistake. He wasn’t going to forgive me, and I didn’t blame him. I’d been so upset by what Edge had done, thinking he could control all of us because he was insecure. He’d left Cav and me in a bad position last night and emotions had run high. Mine especially.
A sob escaped me when I thought about what I’d said to Cav, remembering the pain in his eyes. It hadn’t been until the words were out that I’d realized how it sounded, as though he was my second choice.
He wasn’t. Neither of them were. I just didn’t know how to do this. Whatever this was.
“Come here,” Cav said, his warm hand curling around my arm.
Unable to resist, overcome with emotion, I allowed him to steer me away from the door. The room wasn’t all that big, so there really wasn’t anywhere to go. But that didn’t matter. The only thing that did was being with him.
“I haven’t figured out where I’m going to live,” he said, as though I needed an explanation.
When he led me to the bed, another sob tore at me.
“Sit,” he commanded, the single word clipped.
I sat on the edge of the mattress.
Cav bent down, removed my shoes. He moved over to the mirrored closet doors, rummaged inside. When he returned, he was carrying a T-shirt. His T-shirt.
After taking my clutch and setting it on the single bedside table, he slipped the shirt over my head, then pulled me to my feet. While I slid my arms into it, he worked my dress down, allowing it to pool at the floor. Then his warm arms settled me into the bed.
“Please don’t leave me,” I begged, not caring how I sounded.
His eyes perused my face momentarily, followed by a reluctant nod. When I shifted over, he crawled in behind me, his arms warm and secure as they encircled me. I gripped his forearm, holding him tight, letting his presence settle me.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, tears streaming from my eyes. I was a blubbering mess and I hated myself for it. I wasn’t the sort to break down like this, to allow all the emotion to escape. If I’d learned anything from Zeke, it was that you kept it all in, bottled it up, never showing weakness.
Unfortunately, that was how I felt. Maybe not weak, but definitely hopeless.
Cav’s lips brushed my neck as his arms tightened around me. “I’m sorry, too.”
“For what?” I blubbered.
“For interfering.” His voice was soft, warm. Tormented. “I had no right. I never should’ve gotten involved that night at the club.”
I turned my head, needing to see him. “Please don’t say that. Don’t make it sound like a mistake.”
He propped himself up on his elbow, stared down at me. “It was, Jamie.”
“No.” Pain, fierce and hot, shot through my chest. “Don’t say that. It wasn’t a mistake.”
Remorse filled his gaze and I knew he was regretting what had happened between the three of us. I didn’t want his regret.
Not thinking, I leaned up, pressed my lips to his. I wanted to be closer to him.
For a brief moment, I was. Cav kissed me back. It could’ve been instinct or the simple need for affection. Either way, the kiss deepened, our tongues hesitantly brushing. Seconds turned to minutes, our lips fused together as I turned in his arms, moving closer.
When he jerked back, I stared up at him.
Neither of us spoke. Not with words, anyway. Our eyes, on the other hand, spoke volumes. I could tell he was searching for answers and I was doing the same. I needed this man. As much as I needed Edge. It certainly didn’t feel like a mistake, being here with him, having him hold me, kiss me.
When I thought he would ask me to leave, Cav exhaled sharply, then dropped back to the pillow. He nestled me against him as he rolled to his back. I inched closer, resting my head on his chest as his hand came around, his finger teasing my hair as he brushed it back from my face.
“Sleep,” he said softly. “We’ll talk more after.”
I didn’t want to sleep. Or that was what my mind said. Clearly my body had other plans because not too long after, I drifted off, safe in this man’s arms.
CAV
SHE SMELLED LIKE HIM.
That was my first thought as I came awake.
The sun was peering in the wide window, slipping between the buildings of downtown Chicago. When I got back here last night, I hadn’t bothered to close the curtains and it wouldn’t be long before the room was flooded with sunlight.
I cut my eyes to the right, peering down at Jamie, where she slept on my chest, one arm flung across me. I loved that she was so close, had been for the last few hours.
Unable to resist, I caressed her arm with my hand, her smooth, soft skin under my fingertips.
My thoughts drifted back to last night, to a different hotel room. To Jamie. Edge. The whole situation had been a clusterfuck of epic proportions and I had no idea how things had gotten so out of control. But that was exactly what it was. Out of control. Pure chaos.
Not once in my thirty-five years had I felt this much for any one person, let alone two. And yes, I’d been in love before. Young love was something I’d strived for. Again, none of my past relationships compared to what I was feeling now. While Jamie had slept for the past few hours, I had stared up at the ceiling, thinking about her and Edge, what was happening between us. At some point, I’d fallen asleep, but it hadn’t been peaceful.
My emotions were sitting too close to the surface. Anger, frustration, hurt. It all warred inside me. Then again, I’d always allowed emotion to lead me,
to make me impulsive.
Last night, before Jamie had appeared at my door, I’d been thinking it was time to head out, to go somewhere else. I wasn’t the sort to put down roots. It never worked for me. A few times I’d considered it. Oddly enough, it was usually when I was here. Some inexplicable force always seemed to draw me back here. Back to Chicago. To Edge.
And now Jamie.
Although I’d been pissed and hurt, I hadn’t come up with a plan. The thought of leaving was worse than the idea of spending every day with Jamie and Edge at arm’s length.
Jamie stirred, her hand sliding over my chest. I felt her lashes flutter, her soft sigh.
“Mornin’,” I greeted, continuing to caress her arm with mine, staring up at the ceiling.
She groaned softly but didn’t move away. “What time is it?”
“Almost seven.”
She moved closer. I held her tighter.
“Do you have class this morning?”
“I’ll be fine,” she said softly.
I could’ve spent all day like this, holding her, touching her. If only there wasn’t that ache that ran so deep. There was only one way to get rid of it. I needed her. In the most basic of ways.
I knew where this was headed, and I was helpless to stop it. I didn’t want to stop it. I wanted to feel this woman wrapped around me. I’d wanted it since the first night I saw her at the club. That felt like ages ago, when in reality, it had only been a few weeks. Not enough time for me to feel this strongly, that was for sure, but I wasn’t like Edge. I didn’t feel the need to rationalize everything, to ensure it fit into some perfect little box.
When she lifted her head, I met her gaze, getting lost in her dark eyes. She was so fucking beautiful.
Her hand slid up, curled around my neck. I allowed her to pull my head toward hers as she shifted. Our lips touched, heat igniting into a firestorm, consuming me. I gave in to her kiss as I slid my hand down to her hip, brushing her warm flesh with my fingertips. I pushed the blanket down at the same time I lifted the T-shirt, needing to feel her whisper-soft skin against my palm.
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