by Dixon,Jules
“I’ll be looking forward to payback, Miss Perfect.”
I tipped my head at him. He looked me up and down, sighed and left.
That was weird.
I texted Willow on the way to my car.
Prez: Can you find out Jude’s address from Kanyon? Want to surprise him with dinner…and something else? ;-)
Stopped at a light, I checked my phone.
Willow: It’s 11008 White Street the north side of the duplex. Have fun. Text if you’ll be staying ALL night. I’ll take care of the panting fluff ball.
Prez: Thanks! Will do and her name is Foo-Foo.
Willow: I will never call her that ridiculous name.
I laughed.
After stopping off to let Foo-Foo do her thing, I picked up Chinese food. God only knew what Jude ate on a daily basis. A never-ending supply of protein bars and shakes? Gross.
I pulled in behind a blue sedan with a rental sticker on the back bumper at the address Willow texted.
Maybe the girls next door have someone over?
I balanced the food while I reached for the doorbell when movement inside the house caught my eye. I turned to my right and my body froze as I glanced inside. A beautiful tall redhead had her hands on Jude’s face. When his eyes connected with mine, the moment was like a plug to a socket. Electricity flowed through us and I was electrocuted from the inside out.
I spun while hearing Jude yell my name. My body moved independently of my thoughts. I tripped on the last step and the food crashed to the ground. I left the brown bag and contents littering the driveway. The frantic beating of my heart and the bile rising in my throat had me on one mission. Get the hell out of there.
I squealed the tires from the driveway, driving way too fast and shaking uncontrollably. Stopping the car blocks away and over a hill, I let go of every emotion, and after opening my door, the contents of my stomach. I had to force myself to stop vomiting, knowing it wasn’t healthy. I had to keep better control of my physical response to my emotions.
My phone rang in my purse and without seeing who it was, because I knew who it was, I turned the phone off. I collected myself for the drive home. How could I be so stupid?
Inside the house, Foo-Foo ignored her food and took care of me instead. Her body nuzzled into mine, trying so hard to make me feel better. And I did, marginally. I crashed in a crying heap onto the bed while she stared up at me from her bed on the floor.
He seemed so genuine. So real. And so right. At least you found out before—
I woke up exhausted. My sleep was sporadic. Remnants of mascara and eyeliner ran down my face in charcoal lines of pain. It wasn’t a great look.
“Fucking men!” I gazed into the mirror at what was scary enough to chase any testosterone-based life-form away. Foo-Foo tipped her head and lay down prone while yapping her own disgust.
A shower and coffee did their part in getting me to a more presentable state of being. The dealership was almost comforting. Safe and friendly. I tried to put pep in my step to fake happiness until the emotion was real. I failed miserably.
Late in the afternoon I was having a mini-meltdown alone in my office, my chair turned away from the door.
“Hey…” Drexel rounded the corner into my office.
I wondered if I was actually in hell as I spun my chair to face him.
His All-American boy features softened when he saw me. “What’s wrong, Miss Perfect?”
“Nothing,” I mumbled. “What do you want?” I wiped my face with a tissue.
“Stand up!” he declared, almost as a demand.
“Drexel, I don’t need any of your bullshit today. I’m not in the mood. Please leave.” The words came out through broken sobs.
He closed my door, walked around my desk, pulled me from my chair, and wrapped his arms around me in a warm hug. Without warning, I detonated into a mass of blubbering XX chromosome in his arms. It was heartbroken female Chernobyl in my office and people walking by the glass-fronted door scampered by like the emotional radiation would seep out and contaminate them. I didn’t know how long I continued to make a scene but when I slowed the leaking fluids, Drexel glanced down and smiled at me. Like … genuinely smiled.
What the hell?
“Okay, got that out of your system?” He wiped the tears from my cheeks.
“Yeah, thanks.” I tried to step away and his arms continued to hold me firmly.
“I take it New Guy was an ass?”
“How’d you figure that out?” The sarcasm was veiled by a small whimper of sadness when the memory of Jude and the redhead filled my thoughts.
“Not that I’m proud of it, but I’ve made one too many girls look like you look, Presley … lost, hurt, destroyed.” He softly rubbed my back as he spoke.
“Yep, basically how I feel, just add foolish and betrayed.”
“So tell me the story.”
“You don’t want to listen to my verbal blubbering, Drexel. Thanks for the offer. You can leave and pretend you didn’t see anything.” I pushed him away and sat back down.
“Nope, not going anywhere until you spill. I’m here for you, Presley.” He plopped in a chair.
I gave him the abridged version, more to get him to leave than for support.
“Sorry. That sucks.” He cleared his throat. “Presley, I don’t want to be the unsupportive jerk you probably already think I am, but do you think that maybe it was all a mistake? Maybe just bad timing and circumstances? Have you talked to Jude today?”
“No, and I’m not going to.” I wiped my nose. “I’m going to move on and be okay.”
“Well, in that case … um … want to get a drink tonight?”
My head snapped up at his question.
Does Drexel actually like me?
His baby blue eyes roamed my face before dropping to my desk and examining my nameplate like he’d never seen it before.
“You weren’t lying last Friday in the copy room, were you?” I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my desk.
“About what?” He messed with the paperweight on the edge of my desk, spinning it like a top.
I placed my hand on top of his to stop the juvenile fidgeting. “About actually being interested in me.”
His eyes slid up to mine. “I wasn’t.”
I went to open my mouth but he held up his other hand to stop me.
“And I know what a prick I’ve been to you. If the dealership was an elementary school playground, I’ve figuratively pulled your pigtails for two years. Hell, I kind of ripped your hair out at the roots. I’m sorry for that.”
“So, even before I lost the weight?”
“You’ve always been perfect to me, Presley, that’s why I call you Miss Perfect. I mean it.” His eyes softened and he swallowed hard. “The way you sell cars is fucking hot, your sassy and strong personality is fucking hot, and now your amazing body is fucking hot, but that one didn’t matter to me. It only adds to your hotness factor.”
“Holy shit, Drexel.” I drew my hand from his slowly. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you’ll have a drink with me. You owe me one for last night.”
“I don’t know, Drex. I’m messed up. I’m confused, and I really just need a friend.”
He was silent for a moment, then he asked, “Do you hate me?” He leaned back in his chair and grabbed the arms as if to brace for bad news.
“No, of course not.”
“Would you ever want to be my friend?”
I paused to consider my answer carefully. “I think we could build a friendship, if this Drexel is for real. Honestly, I don’t think I’d ever feel more.”
He rose from the chair and turned toward the door. “Friends it is. I’ll see you at six. Does Firebirds sound okay?”
“Sounds good. See you later.”
“Later, Miss Perfect.”
****
I closed a sale and was feeling better by the end of the afternoon. I grabbed my phone from my purse and after turning it o
n I avoided the messages from Jude. All five text messages and two voicemails. And two e-mails? How did he even get my e-mail address? Triple R! Talk about stalker.
I called Willow.
“Hey, Prez,” she answered with a reserved tone. “How are you?”
“You heard me last night, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, when I got home from Kanyon’s. Wanna talk about it?”
“I went to his home and saw him with a redhead through the window.”
“What the fuck? Are you serious?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Did he say anything?”
“He yelled for me to wait but I didn’t. He’s texted a few times. I’m not going to read them. He left voice mails. I’m not going to listen to them. He even found my e-mail in my Triple R file and sent me two e-mails—not interested in what they have to say. But actually, that’s not why I’m calling.”
Willow cleared her throat. “Maybe you should listen to the messages, Presley.”
“I can’t. I thought he was different. I thought he… ” I started to choke up but I gritted my teeth. “Anyway, I’m going to Firebirds to have a drink with Drexel after work.”
“Presley, come on … Dixless? He’s never been nice to you.”
“He admitted he likes me, always has.” Realizing I was tired of not saying the three-letter word that held some imaginary grasp on me, I added, “Even when I was fat. That’s why he always calls me Miss Perfect ‘cause he actually means it, even though I’m far from it. I’m not going to jump from one guy to another. I don’t like Drexel that way. I’ll be fine.”
“Prez, please…”
Just the tone she started the sentence with told me it wasn’t something I wanted to hear right now, even if it was the best advice in the world. She couldn’t always be by my side to coddle me and make things better. I needed to stand strong by myself.
“I only called to let you know what was going on so you wouldn’t worry. Have a good night. Good-bye, Willow.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jude
I focused on work after I texted Presley again. The third one today. Had a feeling I wasn’t done. Far from done. I left two voice messages, both simple, asking for a minute of her time to talk. They still sounded like begging. I went a step further to reduce my manhood and e-mailed her twice, misusing my authority to gain access to her e-mail address. Getting fired was the least of my worries today. I guaranteed my balls were ready to jump off my body in a revolt of my behavior, and I was pretty sure Kiera would suggest a testiclectomy if she heard I had done exactly what she’d told me not to. I was a certified begging nut-bag.
Before I left Triple R, I texted Presley one more time.
It was confirmed. No testicles.
But in reality, I was doing this because I had testicles. I’d let this woman into my heart and as much as I wanted and needed her, she wanted and needed me, too. I wasn’t going to give up easily and if she thought we were done, she was wrong.
Shit, I sound like an obsessed man. Really, I wasn’t. I was just in love. Painfully, and maybe hopelessly in love with Presley Bradenhurst.
I drove home on autopilot. My phone rang in my gym bag. Normally I didn’t answer while driving, but I was hoping it was Presley. It was Willow, and my curiosity still got the better of me.
“Hi, Willow.”
“Hey, Jude. You still at Triple R?”
“No, almost home. What’s up?”
“Hey, I think you need to hear something.”
“Okay.”
There was a long silence. I pulled the phone away to see if the call dropped but the signal was still connected.
“Willow, you still there?”
“Yeah, just wondering if I should interfere or let Presley make her own mistakes.”
“Now you’re worrying me.”
Mistakes? Am I one of those?
“You should be. She’s going out for drinks with—”
“Don’t say it!”
“Yeah, Dixless. He’s fed her some bullshit line about how he’s always liked her even before she lost the weight and that she’s his Miss Perfect. Now either he’s truthful and he’s the most emotionally stunted jerk ever, or he’s playing her to get in her pants. Either way, I don’t like it.”
I don’t like it either.
“And where are they having this drink?”
Willow made a strained noise. I couldn’t do anything to change what happened last night, but I could do something about what might happen tonight. I fucked up, but not again.
“Willow! I love Presley. I need her, I want her, and I will be hers forever, if she’ll take me back. And if she doesn’t, I will compare every girl to her for the rest of my life. If not for me and not for Presley, then do it for those girls who will get their hearts broken when they can’t live up to what I think is perfect.”
Willow’s voice was gravelly with emotion. “That was beautiful.” She cleared her throat. “Up until the weird and creepy logic at the end but the fact that you admitted you love Presley, well, that means something to me. So, Ponytail, explain the redhead to me before I decide to tell you or not.”
After I finished with my story, Willow sighed into the phone. “I figured. She just can’t let the past go. Firebirds at Village Point. Go get her, Jude, and please keep your tongue out of anyone’s mouth that isn’t Presley’s.”
I chuckled. “There was no tongue, but I got it. Thanks, Willow. How are things with Kanyon?”
“I get to meet Grace tonight, so you tell me.”
“That’s great. She’s an amazing little girl. She adores her daddy, though it might take a little time for her to warm up to you.” I pulled into the driveway of the duplex.
“I know, just hoping she will someday.”
“She will. Wish me luck.”
“Ponytail, you don’t need luck. You have love.”
I disconnected the call on that comment because I wanted to keep the words fresh in my memory.
After a quick shower and fresh clothes, I headed back out the door at half past six. I tapped out a frantic rhythm to Eminem’s “Berzerk” on the steering wheel. My brain buzzed with a million questions.
Should I wait outside and talk to her at her car? Should I make a huge scene and tell her I love her? Should I creep from afar, unless he touches her? Wait until their date is over to approach her? Should I just beat the crap out of him?
I wasn’t a violent or short-tempered guy, but Dixless might change my ways.
I parked my truck next to Presley’s sedan. From where I was, I could see them on the patio. Bringing out my phone, I texted Presley one last time. If this went badly, I wanted her to know how I really felt.
I took a few deep breaths and stepped out.
****
Presley
We walked into the restaurant and agreed the patio was a good choice. The weather held in the upper 70s and a light spring breeze flowed through as we took seats at a high-top table. The sunset provided a beautiful background, and the easy listening music filtering through the air calmed me. An acoustic version of “Someone Like You” came on and the words sunk into me, making me question what I was doing here with Drexel.
My mind kept wandering to yesterday morning when Jude stopped me at Triple R. There’d been a new intensity between us. Something had been left unsaid.
What if Drexel was right? Maybe I should let Jude explain? Maybe I’d made a big deal out of nothing and if he explained I would laugh at the truth.
Yeah, that would never happen.
I cared for Jude too much to be that flippant with our relationship. Maybe that was the point? If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t react? I missed him so much that every heartbeat chugged along in my chest, every breath wasn’t full of life, and every smile held less happiness.
Brought back from my attention wanderlust by Drexel’s tenor voice, I was afraid that conversation between us wouldn’t happen easily, but I was proved wrong. We talked about baseball
, work, and family. I didn’t know he played ball for the Kansas City Royals for two years before having to leave his pitching career due to an injury. I didn’t know he started out as a detailer at a dealer when he was in high school and although he liked car sales, he didn’t love it. He would rather go back to school and get a master’s degree in counseling to help kids with behavioral issues. He had a brother and a sister. His sister stayed home with three kids and his brother was a doctor. His brother and partner were adopting this year. Drexel’s blue eyes twinkled and his smile beamed when he talked about his two musically talented nephews and his baseball-loving niece. Apparently she had him wrapped around her finger, and from what I could tell, he didn’t care. In fact, it was clear that he loved it.
Everything he said was honest and real. He could be charming when he wanted to be. We moved to a different place with each other. Friendship. As long as he didn’t return to his reign in Jerk City, I was good with keeping our relationship right at this level, but there would be no moving up in the ranks of affection.
He had a lot to offer someone but he didn’t have the things I’d found in Jude. The things I couldn’t imagine living without.
Like his cocky but restrained cockiness.
I smirked at the thought.
His impatient-patience.
I bit my lip.
His ability to say just the right thing to me.
I sighed loudly.
Just talking to Drexel cemented that I had found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and trying to fit someone else into that mold would be both heartless and pointless.
There was no substitution for Jude Saylor and his ponytail. I needed to bow out of this and find him.
Drexel started a new conversation about travel. My phone buzzed in my purse and I dug to find it.
“Sorry, Drexel.”
He waved my apology off and called the waitress over to order me another martini and some appetizers to share. He handed the waitress something, said something ending with a loud sigh, and the waitress gave him a friendly smile. I typed in my access code and Jude’s texts hit my screen. I tried to get rid of his newest message but I didn’t move fast enough as the text flashed on the screen.