by S. Moose
The next few days go by and I don't see her. Both Coaches scream at me and tell me to get my attitude in check and kicking her out of practice was uncalled for. I apologize and walk out feeling like an asshole.
Sitting at my desk in my room I write her a letter. After about five attempts I throw the notebook across the room and go to bed. Nothing's working. I've lost her.
The next day I get ready with the guys and we head to the girl's game. Today's an important game against Virginia. The girls are practicing and I'm trying to blend in with the crowd. I know me being here doesn't sit too well with Zara.
My phone rings and I look to see it's another private caller. The calls are getting frequent and I'm not sure what the hell to do. I'm not changing my damn number over this. It's not worth my time to answer. Probably a telemarketer trying to sell me shit I don't want.
A few moments later my phone rings and it's a text from Beth.
Beth: Hey just wanted to let you know I'm in California. Things are good here and I'm happy. Jeremy and I are officially divorced. I want to tell you how much I appreciate you being with me after we lost Emily. I don't blame you Treston and hope you find peace and happiness. Good luck with your final year.
I read the text a few more times. It's been a while since Beth and I talked. I'm glad she's happy and without Jeremy. Fuck, that heartless bastard deserves to die. I wish it were him and not his daughter.
I think about texting her back, but hold off. I want to focus on the game and not miss anything.
Both teams set up and I see Zara, with her stick, ready to play. She looks amazing out there and I love seeing her live out her passion. The game is our life and we don't mess around. The warm up music plays and each team is shooting into the goal. Virginia has a great team, but the Blue Devils have this.
Zara and another girl from the Virginia team line up in the center. When the ref blows the whistle, they fight for the ball and she wins it. Sprinting down the field, she passes the ball to Katy, who cradles it for a few and then passes to Jamie. With a few short passes back and forth, Zara has the ball and shoots. The goal is good!
"Yeah, Peaches!" I scream. The crowd is going crazy with cheers and applause. Duke gets possession of the ball again and I closely watch Zara move. Her footwork is quick and precise. Faking out number twelve she sprints down the middle, passes it to Erika and gets free to get the ball again. She shoots and scores. Damn, my girl is amazing.
After an intense game, the girls win. The team cheers for them and soon they're heading off the field. Gavin gets me and we head back to the house to get it decorated.
Within a few hours, the house is packed and there are people everywhere. I finish my game of pong and Katy hangs onto my arm.
"Good game today. You girls look incredible."
"Why thank you, Coach Parker," she winks at me. "So, Zara looks pretty sexy tonight." I look over to the kitchen and see her talking to Ethan and Jackson. The dark blue dress she has on is damn sexy. The dress shows off her curves that I love so much and her hair is in soft curls. She looks happy.
"Treston, you need to do something tonight. She's falling apart. I know she looks happy, but she's good at hiding her feelings like you are. If you don't let her in then you can forget about getting her back. The longer you wait, the further she goes."
In the corner of my eye I see Henry walk in and he sees Zara too. Pulling myself away from Katy, I rush to the kitchen and before I can think, I grab her arm and bring her back to my room. Slamming the door shut, I turn and look at her.
"Ummm?" She questions, squinting her eyes at me, "Do you mind?"
"I need to talk to you."
"Okay?" She crosses her arms across her chest and is in defense mode.
"For a few minutes, can you let down your walls and talk to me. Like before?"
"Five minutes, Treston, and then I'm out."
I pull her to my body, feeling her tense in my arms. I can't think straight. Everything I see, everything I feel, is her. "Maybe," I whisper, brushing my lips against her cheek. Her body relaxes as she wraps her arms around my waist. "I'm going to let you in and tell you everything. When I'm done, I hope you realize how much I love you and we belong together." She's looking at me, breaking me down, reading my soul. I'm begging her not to hurt me, hoping she can read my mind.
"I promise I won't hurt you, Treston. Just let me all the way in."
My breathing is erratic and I feel her relaxing in my arms. All I want is to keep her in my arms, where I can protect her and keep her as mine. I'm scared and excited at the time. Feeling her tiny body against my hard chest, she's pulling me down, pulling me out of the clouds of sorrow I've been in.
And I'm letting her.
I only have this one chance to show her and let her in. I know that once she knows everything, she'll come back to me and realize why I had to hide this from her. I take a deep breath and sit on the edge of my bed.
"I met Emily when I was ten years old. She was eight and we became best friends. We started dating when I was sixteen and she was turning fifteen. A few months after, she was diagnosed with cancer." I hear her gasp and keep going. "She beat it the first time and her fight was inspiring. We shared the best times together and I stayed with her during each treatment and each doctor's visit. I never would have thought the cancer would come back. On her eighteenth birthday, she collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. The cancer came back and spread like a bitch," I laugh and cry, "She only had a few more months, but with treatment, she had a year." I pause and keep my eyes on the ground.
Saying all of this aloud is harder than I fucking thought.
"She said no to the treatments and I didn't push her. Her parents, Beth and Jeremy, were upset, along with my parents. No one understood, except me. Emily didn't want to spend her last days in a hospital with machines and more tests, so I took her back to the lake house where we first fell in love." I stop talking and rub my eyes. "Two weeks later, I had to go into town and get her medicine. Well, I got everything else except medicine to ease the pain. It was storming with thunder and lightning. When I got back to the lake house and saw I forgot her medicine, I gave her a kiss on her lips and said I'd be back. Well, I never made it to the store. My car broke down and I called Emily to get help since no one was answering my calls." I stop again.
This is the hardest part.
"She started driving and the storm was getting worse. The wind thrashed around and I was scared. She slowed down when she saw me, but a tree fell in the middle of the road and her car went down a hill. She," at this point I'm sobbing. Zara's on my lap, holding me and rocking me.
"I'm here, Treston," she cries with me. "I'm here."
"She died at the scene. I held her in my arms and watched them take her away." I can't talk anymore.
"I'm so sorry, Treston. I can't believe I did this to you, to us. You fought for me and I fought you every step of the way." She sobs, resting her head on my shoulder. I rub her back, inhaling her scent. My Zara.
"It's okay, baby. I know that our love isn't always pretty and we have some pretty shitty moments, but that's what makes us work. It's what makes us...Us." I kiss her shoulder, "I kept coming back to you, begging you to understand me, and I knew you had enough. You kept pushing me away. It's been a while since I let anyone in, but you pulled me out of my head and showed me what it's like to feel love again."
"And I'm going to be here to love you. All of you." Before long, her lips are on mine and she's tugging on my shirt to lift off. I don't think and follow her lead. We need this moment.
Neither of us talk. The sounds of our bodies crashing into each other are the only sounds in the room. Devouring her mouth, feeling her bare chest against mine and soon entering her, is pure fucking bliss.
She moans, telling me to go faster and harder. I spread her wider, resting on my knees and rock back and forth.
"Zara, shit baby. I can't last.
"Me either. Oh my god!"
We both find our rele
ase and I crash next to her. Pulling her in my arms, I kiss her lips and hold her tight.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I kept this all from you. I didn't know how to tell you, but I'm glad I did."
"I told you Treston. As soon as you let me in, we can be together and I'll stay by your side. Is that it? Or is there more?"
Beth. Shit this is going to be awkward.
"After Emily died, I did something pretty fucked up." Zara tenses and looks at me. "Her parents were separated and I didn't know who else to talk to. One night, while I was at the lake house, she came over and helped me pack. Well, she had whiskey and we started drinking. I'll spare you the rest." I sigh, "We had an affair for a few months."
"Oh, Treston. Really?" There's no sign of disgust in her voice. "That's kind of sick."
"I know. It's not my proudest moment. Things fell apart when she died. I was done with school and had the summer to fall apart. But she was there for me and I needed her like she needed me. It was fucked up. I mean we fucked...well you get the picture."
"Thanks," she cringes.
"Do you want to hear more?"
"I do and I don't," she answers me, "I guess my biggest question is, how did her husband take it?'
I sigh, again not the greatest moment of my life. "Jeremy left after Emily's funeral. He packed his things and left town. So that's one of the reasons why Beth came over. We both comforted each other. Well," I pause, afraid to look at her. "After the affair, I was at my parents and Jeremy came over. He punched me in the face, which I deserved, and called me a piece of shit. I didn't see him again."
"And Beth?"
"Well," I rub the back of my head, "We still met when Jeremy wouldn't talk to her. But it was nothing. I listened to her. It was like we were each other's missing link to Emily."
"Are you and Beth still talking?"
I shrug, "Sometimes. The last time we talked she said she was in California and wished me well. She told me that the divorce is final. Jeremy's toxic and was an asshole father and husband."
"Oh," she says, "Well I guess I can understand, but it's still really weird. I actually would prefer you not talk to her out of respect for me."
I rub her arms and kiss her cheek, "Baby, you have nothing to worry about. I'm with you and no one else matters. Having Beth in my life means I'll have a piece of Emily. There is nothing between Beth and I. She's in California and has no plans of coming back. I hope you can understand that."
"I understand. It's hard, but I get it." She looks away from me and turns back, "So are you sure Jeremy is done? Like, he's not going to come back and hurt you for encouraging Beth to leave?"
"Honestly," I answer, "I have no idea. Jeremy and I never got along."
Zara's eyes go wide. "That doesn't worry you?"
I shake my head, "No. Why should it? There's nothing to be worried about. I promise, Peaches." I kiss the tip of her nose and finally see her relax.
CHAPTER 25
ZARA
OKAY, HEARING ABOUT HIS affair and his past is not what I wanted to hear, but the truth isn't always pretty. My heart is breaking for my poor Treston. To carry all this guilt for so long without talking about it. But I see there's a slight peace to him now that everything's out in the open.
He moves closer to me and I'm beginning to understand why he did what he did. I can't fault him for this. I want my man back and we'll be together.
"So, you told me a lot and I'm glad. Treston, babe, we all have gone through things in our life that suck. I know you've been holding all of this in, but no more. I need you to always be open with me and realize that as long as we talk and love each other and trust one another, we'll be good. Our love is strong and I know this is where I want to be."
"I want you to be here, too."
"Then stop running and keep me in."
"Thank you for coming back to me. Thank you for listening. You saw a piece of me that I thought I hid from the world. I don't know how you did it, but you saw past the asshole me and found the sweet me."
"Like you did with me. This isn't just how you see me or I see you. It's how we see and love each other. Every moment with you has been amazing, Treston. You're my world and I want to be there with you through all your successes and failures. You catch me when I fall and I'll catch you when you fall."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Me either." We share another kiss and hold each other through the night after a few more sessions. We have a lot to make up for.
"Can I call you my boyfriend?"
His eyes are wide and soon relaxes. "Always."
To say we're not blissfully happy and extremely annoying to our friends would be another big lie. Every day is a new day for us. There's the peace I saw in him the night he told me everything. It's the peace on his face that tells me he's going to be okay. Sometimes I find that he crawls back to the dark, but I pull him back. I'm learning to be patient and trust him to know he'll find his way back to me and tell me what I need to know.
I've been spending most of my time at the guys’ house. We find a rhythm in our schedules and spend the nights, mornings and weekends together. All the months we were apart have led us to this point.
I feel his kisses on my face and neck, "What are you thinking about, baby?"
My hand rests on his and I smile, "Just you. Us. Everything."
We don't waste time and surprisingly we're not fighting, as much, anymore. I still annoy him and he still finds ways to push me. But that's why we fit.
"You need to get ready. It's the first round today and if you're late, Coach is going to kill you."
"Well, we need to get out of bed." I'm about to get up, when he pulls me back in. "I need a good luck fuck before you leave."
"You're such a pig." I laugh, pulling him over me and having another round of amazing sex.
Katy, Jamie and I find seats on the bleachers and patiently wait for the guys to come out. Treston's superstitious and doesn't want me texting him. When I left the house, I blew him a kiss and walked out.
His mom, Regina, took me, Katy and Jamie out for lunch and we did some shopping. I saw a watch at the jewelry store and instantly had to get it for him. Requesting to get it engraved with the date we became official and our favorite quote, Breathe. Live. Fly. The associate hands me the slip and smiles.
"He's going to love this," Katy squeals.
"I hope so."
Katy tugs on my hand and I follow her eyes in the direction of the field. The crowd is large and people cheer when the boys walk out. I look for number eight, Treston, and can't find him. I take out my phone and there's nothing.
"Where is he?" The three of us look around and a few minutes pass without any sign of Treston.
Gavin runs over to us, "Can you girls check on him? He said he needed to get something in his locker and would be out when he's done, but it's been almost ten minutes."
"Okay let's go," I tell Katy and Jamie. We get up from the bleachers and walk to the men's locker room.
An eerie feeling washes over me and I sprint down the hall and through the door. Walking into the locker room, I let out a blood curdling scream and rush to Treston. There's blood on the ground near him.
"Treston," I scream, afraid to touch him. I kneel beside him and touch his face. It's not warm. "Treston," I scream again. I look over and Jamie's on the floor crying while Katy's on the phone.
My world goes dark. I'm holding onto his hand, praying to God to save him and not to take him from me.
"Please baby, fight. Fight for your life and fight for us. Please," I beg him through my sobs. Grabbing his hand, I beg him to squeeze so I know he's still with us. There's no movement and I break down harder.
"Treston, you can't leave me." I lay down, not caring that his blood is soaking through my clothes. I need to be close to him. "Please don't leave me. We just got back together. We have our whole lives together. But you need to open your eyes." There's commotion in the room. I don't move. Instead, I hold onto his hand tighter until C
oach Young pulls me off. When he does, I kick and scream for him to let me go so I could be with Treston. I watch as the EMT medics do what they have to and put him on the gurney. He's still not moving, but they say he's breathing and there's a low pulse.
Everyone follows the medics and Treston's parents are in the hall, waiting to see what's going on. When Regina sees Treston, she screams and her husband, James, holds her in his arms. They're both crying and asking questions.
I wish I had the answers.
Cars start pulling out of the parking lot, heading to the hospital. I'm numb and weak. The tears keep coming down and I don't know what to say until Katy gets to the emergency room and we all rush out.
Sitting in the waiting room, my head's on Jackson's lap. My eyes are on the doors, waiting for Treston's surgeon to come out and tell us what's going on.
He's been in there for so long. No one has any updates and the nurses aren't helping. It's been four hours and I'm going crazy. I'm thankful that he's alive, but news and updates would be better.
I look around the room. Everyone's pretty quiet. Some people are sleeping and some are talking amongst themselves. My parents are talking to Treston's parents and everyone's face is pale. Gavin's holding onto Katy and Jamie's sleeping on the floor. I hate that I'm here in the waiting room and not with Treston. There has to be something I can do.
The cops came and took our statements. I guess Treston's phone records show a private caller three times a day. There's no way it can be traced with the calls coming from different disposable cell phones.
A sick part of me thinks whoever did this to him will never be caught. Closing my eyes, I see Treston lying on the ground. He's not moving and I'm so afraid. We're back together and he finally let down his walls. He's finally living again and now his life is hanging by a string. A soft whimper leaves my lips and I cry again.