Rock Chick Reckoning

by Kristen Ashley

  “No, really. What’s the matter with you?” I repeated. “I wanna know.”

  Pong blinked then he explained, “That t-shirt is the shit.”

  I leaned to the side, my fingers curled into the t-shirt Leo was still holding and I viciously tugged it free. I shook it out in front of Pong and shouted, “This? This is worth causing a scene over? This is worth getting in the face of your friend over? You’d never wear this shirt!” I shouted and I was right, Pong would never wear a tie-dyed t-shirt. Ever. Then I turned to Leo. “And you!” Leo took a step back when he saw my face but I just kept going. “You’ve got, what? Fifteen shirts just like this!” And I was right about that too. He had to have fifteen. Hell, he could even have twenty. Hell, he was wearing one at that very moment!

  Leo shrugged and I threw the t-shirt at him. It hit him in the face and he lifted up his hands to catch it as it fell down.

  “I’m up to here with you two!” I yelled, raising my hand, fingers straight, palm down, up to my chin. “Linnie’s dead! Dead! Floyd and Buzz are on their way to Oklahoma for her funeral right now and you two are fighting over a t-shirt.” Both looked uncomfortable but I kept shouting. “Damn it, bullets are flying! We’re in the papers, like, every day. We’re close to something big with a record label which could change all our lives and Mace…” I trailed off when I saw all the Rock Chicks (and the Hot Bunch and, incidentally, most of the partygoers) were standing around, staring at me. I clamped my mouth shut, shook my head and forged on, hoping to cover. “Forget Mace. You two, work this out like the men you are, not six year olds. I’m done with your shit. Done. No more.” I swung my eyes to Hugo. “You either.”

  Hugo’s eyebrows went up as did his hands, palms out.

  “Shit, mama, what’d I do?” Hugo asked.

  “Nothing,” I returned. “Nothing to help. You’re smarter than that. I know it. You know it. But it’s always me that’s gotta keep the peace in the band.” I threw my hand out. “You’re all smarter than this. If we don’t keep our shit together, we’re gonna fall apart and I’m gonna let it happen because I’m done. Done! Got me?”

  They didn’t answer, they just stared.

  I decided to take that as a “yes” and I pointed to the floor. “Now clean this up and if you’ve caused any damage, you’re paying Annette even if you have to work it off. Do you hear me?”

  They again didn’t answer so I leaned forward threateningly and repeated, “I said, do you hear me?”

  “Shit, Stella Bella, chill,” Pong mumbled.

  “I’ll chill when this is all cleaned up,” I snapped back.

  “We got it, Stella. No problem,” Leo said softly, bending over to pick up t-shirts.

  Hugo was still staring at me and he was doing it closely.

  “Nothing’s going to happen to the band,” Hugo told me.

  “You’re right,” I agreed. “Nothing’s going to happen to the band. Nothing bad and nothing good either if you all don’t get your shit together. Do you want to be playing clubs in Denver and Boulder and effing Colorado effing Springs for the rest of your lives?”

  Pong, Hugo and Leo looked at each other and then back at me. They’d never considered going further mainly because I never wanted to take us further.

  “We gonna be more?” Pong asked, his voice edged in surprise.

  “We could be, if you’d start taking care of your damn selves. We could be a lot more,” I answered. “Do you want that?”

  More silence, more staring, more obvious surprise.

  Finally, Leo whispered, “Shit, yeah.”

  “Good then you have to help me and you can do that by growing, the fuck, up.” On that, I turned to Indy and announced, “I need a beer.”

  “You’re holding one, honey,” Indy replied softly.

  I looked down at my hand to see I miraculously still had hold of my beer but it had mostly leaked onto the floor.

  “I need a new one,” I informed her.

  Shirleen’s hands came to my shoulders and she started pushing us forward, demanding, “Outta the way. Emergency beer needed!”

  “I’m thinking beer isn’t gonna be strong enough,” Ava muttered to Jules as they shoved in behind us and all the Rock Chicks followed.

  Shirleen pushed me to the back where there was a pocket of space and serenity. Ally came forward and pressed a new, cold, open beer bottle in my hand and Ava took away the old one and put it on a display case.

  I took a healthy swig.

  “That was righteous,” Ally told me.

  “Shoulda done that a long time ago, sugar,” Daisy said then she gave me a wink.

  Before I could reply to Daisy, Annette shoved in.

  “Jumpin’ Jehosephats, that was fuckin’ phat!” she shouted. “I was getting worried that nothing was gonna happen. I’d be, like, totally bummed if I had a party and the Rock Chicks didn’t deliver.” She shoved my shoulder. “Bitch, you are sofa-king awesome!”

  Then she whirled around and shoved away. All the Rock Chicks’ eyes followed her.

  “I take it she’s not mad,” I said to Roxie and Roxie grinned at me.

  “Nettie’s a little weird,” Roxie shared.

  “You got that right, sister,” Jet muttered.

  I took another swig and watched Hector enter the store. His eyes did a scan, found me and he started pushing through the crowd in our direction.

  “I hate to bring this up right now but we need to talk about Mace,” Jet said quietly.

  My eyes, and my thoughts, moved from Hector to Jet.

  The Rock Chicks hadn’t discussed what happened that morning. Instead, Tex loaded me up in his bronze El Camino and took me home after that morning’s heartbreaking activities. In his Camino, I’d shared with him too about Mace and I being together (as, he too, was not a Rock Chick). His response to this was walking me to my apartment and spending the afternoon with me and Juno, eating popcorn and watching action movies.

  “Nothin’ clears the head like popcorn and Bruce Willis,” he’d informed me, shoving a huge fistful of popcorn in his mouth.

  This was true-ish. Watching Bruce Willis essentially blow up a skyscraper did take my mind off Mace and all our troubles.

  For awhile.

  “I can’t talk about Mace right now,” I said to the girls.

  “She’s got a lot to process,” Jules told Jet.

  “Process, my ass. She’s gotta call that boy home, give him the business and get on with it,” Shirleen put in.

  “They need to talk, not do the nasty,” Roxie replied.

  “Doin’ the nasty does the talkin’, girl,” Shirleen shot back. “You know that more than anyone. Shee-it, just last night, your man gave you a ring while givin’ you the business. That says it all.”

  Ally put her hands over her ears and chanted, “La la la, I’m not listening, la la la.”

  “Sex isn’t the answer to everything, Shirleen,” Ava talked over Ally.

  Shirleen’s gaze snapped to Ava. “When’s the last time you and Luke had sex?”

  “I don’t understand –” Ava started but Shirleen cut her off.

  “When?” she clipped.

  Ava glanced around then shared, “Before coming tonight.”

  Daisy giggled and the rest of us exchanged grins.

  “You two share heart-to-hearts? Does Luke fuckin’ Stark process his feelings with you? Or, when he’s got somethin’ to say, somethin’ to communicate, somethin’ to process, does he throw you up against the wall and give you the business?” Shirleen asked, making what I thought was a valid point. I myself had given Mace the business last night as my way of showing him I was glad he was back. He heard my message loud and clear. Sure, we talked but only after my message had been delivered.

  “We didn’t have wall sex. We had dining room table sex,” Ava corrected, stubbornly not giving Shirleen her point.

  “Oowee, dining room table sex. I like dining room table sex,” Daisy burst out. “You two need to get a desk. Marcus and I had des
k sex last night. Desk sex is fine.”

  “We have a desk, it kind of… fell over when we tried desk sex,” Ava said.

  “Luke’s a big guy, your desk is small. You need a bigger desk,” Roxie advised.

  “Kitchen counter sex is the best,” Indy put in her thoughts. “Lee’s creative but when we do it in the kitchen…” she trailed off and started looking dreamy.

  “La la la, not listening about Lee being creative, la la la.” Ally was back to chanting.

  “I’m not sure it’s the where, it’s more the position,” Jules entered the conversation.

  “I don’t think it’s the position, it’s all about the intensity,” Jet joined as well. “Eddie and I like it hard, rough. That’s the best. You know what I mean?”

  “Fuck,” we heard muttered and everyone turned to see Hector standing behind Jet and looking at her like he wished he could rip off his own ears after hearing that his brother liked sex hard and rough.

  “Whoops,” Jules whispered and everyone started giggling except Jet who started blushing.

  “Sorry Hector,” Jet mumbled.

  “Welcome to my world. Now you know my pain,” Ally informed Hector.

  Hector wasn’t about to be dragged into this conversation. His eyes sliced to me and he held up his hand, his index and middle fingers holding a folded piece of paper.

  “You wanted a number?” he said to me.

  Oh my God.

  Mace’s Mom’s phone number.

  My breath caught, I felt my eyes grow wide and I nodded.

  “Let’s go. You got a call to make,” Hector finished and without delay I put my beer on the display case and moved forward.

  “What call?” Ally asked.

  “What’s going on?” Daisy said at the same time.

  “Whose number is that?” Indy put in.

  “Leave her be,” Jules said softly.

  It was at that moment, Tod and Stevie pushed into our clutch.

  “Oh my God. I’ve been browsing and there is nothing here I want to buy. I’ve never been to a store where there was nothing I wanted to buy,” Tod announced, sounding horrified. “Someone check my forehead; see if I have a fever.”

  “It’s a head shop, Tod. You don’t smoke pot and you aren’t a hippie. Of course there’s nothing you’ll want to buy,” Stevie explained.

  “I’ve seen Hair, like, five million times,” Tod snapped back, putting his hands to his hips. “Burgundy Rose could kick the shit out of ‘The Age of Aquarius’. I’ve looked everywhere and there’s no macramé halter tops anywhere.”

  At Tod’s announcement, Hector had had enough. He grabbed onto my bicep and pulled me to him.

  Unfortunately, Daisy noticed.

  “Hang on. You haven’t answered our questions,” Daisy called after us as Hector started leading me away.

  “I’ll explain later,” I said over my shoulder.

  “You better!” Daisy shouted and Hector kept going.

  Without a word, Hector led me out to an old model, brown Bronco. We were both buckled up and heading to my place when he spoke.

  “Do you women always talk like that?” he asked, referring, I knew, to the sex chat.

  “Um…” I hedged, because, well, we did.

  “I don’t wanna know,” he cut in.

  “Good choice,” I whispered.

  “Fuck,” he muttered.

  * * * * *

  The apartment was dark, it was late and Juno and I were in bed when we heard the key in the lock.

  Juno was sleeping. I was not.

  I was planning.

  I rolled when I heard the door open and the alarm start beeping. Juno lifted up and then jumped off the bed. Then I heard the code being entered and Juno’s tags jingled as she walked across the room.

  I got up on an elbow, pulled my hair out of my face and called, “Mace?”

  “Yeah, babe,” Mace called back quietly.

  I felt my heart flutter then settle. Not that I thought anyone was breaking in, just that I was glad he was home. I was glad to hear his voice say “yeah, babe” like he came home and said that to me every night. I was glad because I thought there was a possibility that he could be coming home and saying that to me every night.

  “Just checking,” I told him. “Everything okay?”

  “As okay as it can be.”

  That wasn’t a great answer but at least no one had been shot at.

  “Are you coming to bed?” I asked.

  “In a minute,” he replied.

  I listened to Juno’s tags jingle louder than normal knowing Mace was giving her a rubdown. Then I listened to Mace move around in the dark, listened to him taking off his clothes, listened to the soft rustle as his clothes hit furniture. He walked into the bathroom, the light went on a second before he shut the door.

  I lay back in bed and Juno jumped up and started to settle at the foot.

  Then I took a deep breath, quit planning my upcoming War with Mace’s Demons Strategy and thought about my night.

  Hector had walked me up to my apartment and he’d given me a cell phone to use, saying my cell and land line may be being monitored by Mace’s Dad.

  I found this creepy as all get out but then again, Mace’s dad was a creep so that wasn’t a surprise.

  Then, to my shock, Hector stayed. I thought this was a nice thing to do. I wasn’t a person who couldn’t be alone but at that moment I didn’t want to be alone. Normally, I would choose a Rock Chick to be with me during this, my first, important maneuver in my War with the Demons but since I didn’t have that luxury, Hector would work.

  I looked at the piece of paper Hector had given me and saw that Mace’s Mom’s name was Lana. I thought that was a beautiful name. She’d kept the last name Mason so I was guessing she never remarried. I supposed if you were screwed over by the Supreme Asshole of All Time, you wouldn’t be keen to jump back into the game.

  I dialed her number, got cold feet and hoped she wasn’t home.

  I had absolutely no idea what to say.

  Then I got worried she wouldn’t be home and I had absolutely no idea how to leave a message.

  “Hello?” I heard in my ear.

  Oh shit.

  Too late.

  My eyes flew to Hector. He was standing beside me as I sat in my armchair.

  He gave me a nod.

  “Um, Ms. Mason?” I said back, dipping my chin to look at my knees and I heard Hector’s boots on the floorboards as he walked away.

  “Yes?” she answered.

  “This is Stella. Stella Gunn. You don’t know me. I’m a friend of your son’s. I’m a friend of, um… Kai’s.”

  Sheesh but it was weird calling Mace “Kai”.

  Silence.

  Or, I should say, loaded silence.

  “Hello?” I called.

  “Kai?” she asked and the way she said his name made it sound beautiful. She had a gorgeous voice, soft, feminine, melodic. I liked her just by the sound of her voice. But I really liked her by the way she said her son’s name, like it was magic.

  “Yes, Kai,” I told her.

  “Is he all right?” I heard a tremor of fear sift through her voice.

  “Yes,” I said quickly then I went back on that word. “No. I mean, he’s fine but he’s not fine.”

  Effing hell, this was hard.

  Get on with it! My brain shouted at me.

  I don’t know how! I shouted back.

  Well, think of something! My brain wasn’t having any of it.

  “I don’t understand,” Lana said in my ear. “You’re the girl in the papers, right?”

  Oh hell, she’d seen the papers.

  Beautiful.

  I wondered what she knew.

  “Yes,” I told her. “We’re kind of… erm, special friends.”

  Special friends?

  I was such an idiot!

  “I was getting that from the papers,” she said softly then she informed me, “You’re very pretty.”

  Th
at was a nice thing to say so I smiled at the phone. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  What now?

  Bloody, effing hell.

  “He doesn’t know I’m calling you,” I told her.

  Silence again.

  I took a deep breath and forged ahead. “I know about Caitlin. I just found out.”

  More silence, again it was loaded.

  “Ms. Mason?”

  “Call me Lana.”

  That was nice too.

  “Lana, do you talk to Mace?” I asked.

  “Mace?” she sounded confused.

  “Erm, it’s what his friends call Kai here. Mace.”

  There was a pause then I heard her say quietly, “That doesn’t sound like my son. He’s not a Mace.”

  This made me sad. In the picture I saw that day when Mace was holding his sister, he didn’t look like a Mace. He looked like a Kai.

  He was definitely a Mace now.

  “Do you speak with him?” I asked.

  “I haven’t heard from him in nearly seven years.”

  Gut kick, sure and true. In fact, it was the gut kick to end all gut kicks.

  It made me hurt, for Mace and for Lana.

  “Oh, Lana,” I breathed when I found my voice.

  “Why are you calling?” she asked, her voice getting stronger.

  “I…” I didn’t know what to say then I did. “I need your help.”

  Then I told her about what was happening. Everything. Sidney Carter. Linnie. Preston Mason. Even my parents. And even Mace and my history.

  I figured she had a right to know. Mace was her son. I took a chance and didn’t sugarcoat it either. I figured since Mace was her son, she had to make him who he was at least partly and I was guessing she gave him the good parts since Preston Mason didn’t have anything good to give and Mace had a lot of good parts so I was thinking her genes had to be stronger so she could hack it.

  When I was done talking, immediately, Lana asked, “What do you want me to do?”

  I looked at Hector. He’d moved away and was sitting on the platform, watching me and scratching Juno’s head.

  “I need you to come to Denver,” I told Lana, taking my eyes from Hector.

  “Then what do you want me to do?” Lana went on.

  “Nothing. Just come to Denver. I’ll do the rest.”