And what did it matter if I was drunk? Eastwood had parties almost every weekend. Hell, a few weeks ago at Ford’s birthday party, we had all gotten smashed. Why did it matter if I was doing it more now that usual? Maybe I was just making up for lost time. Did anyone ever think of that?
Maybe I was regretting spending my high school years being good. Maybe the guys had the right idea, and it was all about having a good time and piling up stories to remember when we’re older and have to face real life.
Guess what? The girl looking back at me in the mirror didn’t have the answers to any of those questions.
She was just looking back at me, begging me to get my shit together. She was begging me to remember that the girl I used to be was the girl that was the real me. These people, these parties, the booze, the boys…those were just distractions I had never needed before. She was begging me to remember that being good was nothing to be ashamed of.
I let out a deep sigh and knew I couldn’t do this anymore.
Or…maybe it was the uneasy feeling that this was more.
I’ve been drinking a lot more lately, but it never felt like this before. Usually, it was good times all around, but tonight I felt…off.
I felt depressed and hollow.
I also knew I wouldn’t be able to drive like this. My entire body was starting to feel heavy, and as I looked in the mirror, that girl still had no answers for me.
She was just saddened at my sorry state of affairs.
One thing was certain, though; I could no longer keep on this mission of self-destruction. No boy was worth what was looking back at me in the mirror.
I opened the door to go back out to the party, hoping I didn’t pass out before I could make it to my car and call Mackenzie from safely inside. I knew she was loved up with Samson because, since they were both eighteen, their parents allowed her to stay with him on the weekends. During the week she had to be home, though.
As soon as I shut the bathroom door behind me, I ran into a hard chest. I was only five-foot-three, so I literally face planted into some rock-hard muscle.
“Charlie?”
I looked up, and I smiled at the hazel eyes that reminded me of happiness. “Hey…”
I felt Duke’s strong arm wrap around me, and that was good since I could no longer feel my legs. “Charlie!” he barked.
“Hmmm?”
“Charlie, honey, look at me,” he instructed, but the weight of my eyelids was winning this battle.
“Dushek…”
I suddenly felt a hard palm against my cheek. “Charlie, honey? Charlie?”
My last thought was that it felt good to be held by Duke Maddox. The kid was going to make one lucky girl very, very happy one day.
Very happy, indeed.
Chapter 1
Charlie~
It’s a good thing I wasn’t a coward, or else I’d skip right past my cousin and friends and just go straight to first period. However…
I. Wasn’t. A. Coward.
I tightened my backpack strap over my shoulder and headed towards the group I’ve somehow become a part of since Mackenzie started dating Samson Maddox.
I smiled when I reached them, making sure to ignore Raiden. It’s been three weeks since the Halloween party at Darren Whitley’s, when Darla Nichols had kissed Raiden and he hadn’t stopped her. That was the night I stopped giving him any of my time or attention.
“Hey,” Mackenzie greeted, and I smiled at my cousin. Amelia was snuggled up with Ford and Mackenzie was in Samson’s arms, as always.
“Hey,” I greeted back, and when I found Duke’s eyes, he looked pissed.
“Really? Hey?” he clipped out. “Nothing more?”
“Duke…” I shut down because I didn’t want to have this conversation in front of everyone.
Friday night when I had come out of the bathroom at Henry Wallace’s party, I had run into Duke, but then I had passed out in his arms. All I remembered was waking up in his bed the next morning with the worst headache I’ve ever had, and it hadn’t taken much to conclude that I had been drugged. The only problem was that I had drunk so much, there was no way to pinpoint when it could have happened or by who.
When I had finally been able to maneuver, I had left Duke a note, thanking him for helping me, and then I had snuck out and ordered an Uber to take me back to Henry’s to get my car. Duke had called and texted all weekend, but I’d been too embarrassed to talk to him or ask how he got my number. I had texted him back, letting him know I was okay. But I hadn’t been strong enough to actually talk to him and that’s why he was pissed.
And I didn’t blame him.
“Duke, what?” he snapped, and it was hard to remember that he was a year under us. Duke might only be a Junior, but he didn’t act like it.
“What’s going on?” Mackenzie asked, and it felt awful not to tell her after she’s shared all her secrets with me.
Duke just looked at me, and his eyes were piercing and knowing. “Nothing,” I mumbled.
Duke let out a harsh laugh. “Oh, is that what we’re calling it? Nothing?”
I felt, rather than saw, Raiden tense and even Ford seemed especially quiet, but I didn’t owe Raiden or Ford any explanations. We might hang out these days, but they were Samson’s friends. None of them were really my friends except Amelia and Mackenzie, and Alistair when he was around.
“Duke-”
“Fuck this shit,” he bit out, surprising us all since he was usually the easy-going one out of the group, and then he just took off towards class.
I couldn’t let him storm off like this. I glanced over at Mackenzie and Amelia. “I promise to fill you guys in later,” I rushed out and ran after Duke.
When he felt me flank his side, he said, “I’m not in the mood, Charlie.”
“Duke, please,” I begged. “I’m sorry.”
He stopped in his tracks and loomed over me. “You’re sorry?” he spat. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
My eyes caught movement and I looked over to see everyone heading our way. I quickly grabbed hold of Duke’s arm and tugged him until we were hidden on the side of the building. I knew everyone was going to have questions, but I needed to make things right with Duke first.
“I was embarrassed,” I finally admitted when it was just the two of us.
His brows shot upward. “Of what?”
“That you saw me that way,” I exclaimed. “That…that I got drunk enough to be that reckless.”
Duke let out a soft sigh. “Charlie-”
“When I think of what could have happened, had you not been at that party, it…I feel stupid, Duke,” I went on. “It’s why I snuck out of your house the next morning. It’s why I’ve been avoiding your calls.” My voice cracked and I felt like an even bigger fool. “I’m partying every weekend like I know what I’m doing and…and it caught up with me Friday. It’s…humiliating.”
“Charlie, you have nothing to be embar-”
“I have a lot to be embarrassed about,” I argued, cutting him off. “But I meant what I wrote in my texts. You have no idea how grateful I am to you that you were there, and that you helped me.”
“Of fucking course, I helped you,” he bit out, offended.
My shoulders dropped and exhaustion was weighing me down. “I didn’t mean it like that,” I replied. “I just meant…someone drugged me, Duke. It’s nice to know I fell in the hands of someone I could trust-can trust.”
Duke ran his hands down his perfect face. Dark brown hair, bright hazel eyes, six-foot-plus, and a body of an athlete, Duke Maddox was hot. Hell, the entire lot of them were stunning in their own right. Duke looked a lot like Samson, only Samson gave off intense alpha vibes even if he wasn’t doing anything. Ford was gorgeous with his dark blonde hair and light blue eyes, and never mind the body on that boy. Ford was six-foot-four and built like a machine. Alistair was another cutie. His hair was so blonde it was almost white, but it paired fantastically with his blue eyes. And then, there wa
s Raiden.
Raiden Cruz.
Tall as Samson with dark brown hair and bright blue eyes he was hot as hell. Being a wide receiver for the football team, he was every bit as built as the rest of the guys. And like all the guys, save for Samson, he was willing to stick his dick in whichever female was offering. Well, I suppose I should amend that now that Ford had hearts in his eyes for Amelia.
At any rate, fuck Raiden Cruz.
When Samson had started dating Mackenzie, Raiden had started this fucked-up song and dance with me. But after the day I had been taken by Mack’s ex-psycho, Raiden had all but told me to fuck off. There were no more fights, no more demands, no more…anything. And it sucked because I had started to like him. I had conned myself into thinking his attentions had meant something, but clearly they hadn’t.
“I’m sorry, Duke, okay?” I said again. “It was a shitty thing to do, ignoring you like that. But I really am thankful you helped me. I’m sorry if I made you worry.”
“Look, Charlie,” he began, looking too serious for someone as carefree as he usually was, “I know you don’t consider me, Samson, Ford, or Raiden as real friends, and I don’t blame you. We never spoke to you before Samson started dating Dee, but…how you feel about us doesn’t dictate how we feel about you. You might not view us as friends, but we see you as one. Raiden more so.”
“Don’t,” I choked out. “I don’t to talk about Raiden.”
Duke dropped his head back and started praying to the Heavens. When he looked back down at my, he said, “Okay. We’ll table the subject of Raiden for now, but…but Charlie, you’re going to have to tell the girls what happened. Hell, you’re going to have to tell the school.”
“But-”
“Charlie, if someone is drugging girls’ drinks, the girls in this school need to know that. They need to be made aware,” he said, interrupting my objections. “That’s the right thing to do, and you know it.”
He was right. I knew he was right, but for some reason I still felt foolish for letting my partying get so out of control, I never thought to think about what I had been pouring into my body. It felt as if I had let myself down, and I suppose I did.
“No, you’re right,” I agreed. “I…I can tell the school counselor and maybe they can do an announcement or…pass out fliers or something.”
Duke regarded me with those wise eyes of his. “Would you like me to go with you?”
My nose started to tingle, and I could feel tears threatening to escape. “You’d do that?”
Duke hauled me into his arms. “Like I said, Charlie. You may not see us as friends yet, but I see you as one.” My heart warmed, but then shame coated my face as he continued saying, “It doesn’t matter that we only came to be friends because my brother’s dating your cousin, or that we never hung out before. I consider you a friend, and it’d be great if you’d start letting your guard down a little and try to see me the same way.”
My arms wrapped around him, and even with our backpacks in the way, it felt like a nice, new beginning to something I really haven’t given a chance. It wasn’t that I felt resentful, it’s just…even with Mackenzie dating Samson, I had nothing in common with the guys. We truly never would have hung out had it not been for Samson and Mackenzie.
I pulled back and looked up at the boy. “I’ll tell Mack and Amelia during first break. Alistair, too, probably.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Chapter 2
Raiden~
I was ready to tear the place apart.
I knew I didn’t have a claim on Charlie Harden, but I had never expected her and Duke to get together. Especially not after the way Duke’s been on my ass about working things out with her.
But would they really hook up?
We’ve gone to school with Charlie Harden for years, but we never ran in the same circles. Even though she was good friends with Amelia Prescott, and Amelia’s brother played football with us, they had never become football groupies. It might be because Amelia’s best friend, Alistair, wasn’t into sports, I wasn’t sure. I just knew there had never been cause to hang out with her. The only thing I really knew about her before Samson’s started dating her cousin, Mackenzie, was that the girl played soccer. I’d sometimes see her out on the soccer field, and she had looked like she knew what she was doing.
When Samson had gone after Mackenzie in the beginning of the year, Charlie had been part of the package deal, and she had turned out to be a spitfire with enough personality to stun a guy stupid. The teasing had turned into something more, and when she had been taken by Mackenzie’s ex-boyfriend earlier this year, my feelings for her had intensified to the point where I almost beat Brayden Mahoney to death for daring to touch Charlie.
The plan had been to claim her the next day, but that night, guilt and remorse had hit me hard. Charlie had admitted to taking off with Alistair because she had been mad at me, and the weight of her words had fucked with my head. Had I not been playing hot and cold with her, and made my intentions known from the beginning, she never would have taken off with Alistair. I had wrestled with the same guilt Samson had, in that, we had promised to protect the girls and had failed miserably. The only different had been that Mackenzie had already been in love with Samson, so there was no way she’d blame him for any of what had gone down.
Charlie didn’t love me.
Hell, the girl didn’t even like me. When I had started laying an unrightful claim to her, she had made it clear she didn’t appreciate the reputation that came along with me. I didn’t necessarily think it was fair to not give me a chance based on what I had done before she came along, but it hadn’t deterred me.
My failure to keep her safe had, though.
I had stepped back and figured I’d let her come to me. Because no matter how much she protested, there would be these small moments when I’d catch her looking at me, and she wasn’t looking at me with disgust or indifference. Those were the times that gave me hope. Those were the times when I prayed she was looking past my reputation. Or she’d take my reputation into consideration and recognize how I’ve never had a girlfriend before or have ever chased a girl.
I knew Charlie was attracted to me, but I knew she didn’t want to be, which was fine because I had no problem chasing her. But the chase had gotten complicated when guilt had started eating away at my testosterone. I mean, why would a girl want to be with a guy who failed to protect her? What the fuck good were men if they couldn’t protect women?
However, I hadn’t expected things to go the way they had when I had stepped back from the chase. Charlie had started going to parties more, and she took to drinking like a fish to water. And having been a part of the party scene all these years, I knew Charlie hadn’t been a partier. Over the years, she, Amelia, and Alistair had only been to a handful of parties.
Now the girl was damn near at every single one.
And when I thought back to Darren Whitley’s Halloween party, my stomach tightened with a regret I never knew I could feel. When I had looked up and saw Charlie watching Darla Nichols kissing me, the absolute betrayal blazing in those big brown eyes of hers had nearly driven me to my knees. And I hadn’t been able to get Darla off me in time before Charlie had stormed out of the party. By the time I had dislodged Darla and had gone looking for her, she was gone. I remember practically begging Mackenzie to give me her phone number, but Mackenzie had taken the Switzerland stance and chose to stay the fuck out of our drama.
The following Monday at school, Charlie had looked right though me like I didn’t exist, and she’s been doing it every single day since. I just never expected her to get with Duke as payback.
And what a fucking payback that would be.
Deep down, I didn’t think Duke would ever do such a thing, but people got drunk and stupid all the time. People fell into the moment and that was when anything could happen.
And watching her grab his arm and pull him to the side of the building for privacy had reall
y fucked with my head. That’s why I was risking being late to second period to wait for Duke.
When he rounded the corner on his way to second period and saw me, his footsteps slowed, and rage threatened to take over again. Rage and dread because I wasn’t ready to lose Duke as my friend over a girl. But I also knew I wouldn’t be able to be around them if they were a couple.
“Hey,” he said, tossing his chin up in greeting.
“Did you fuck her?” I asked, not caring about anything but the answer to that one question.
Duke’s eyes narrowed. “Did I fuck who?”
“Don’t play stupid with me, Duke,” I snapped. “You know who. Did you fuck Charlie?”
“Are you fucking kidding me, right now?” he spat. “Did you really just ask me that?”
“If you didn’t fuck her, then what was all that shit this morning about?” I asked, my chest easing with relief that he hadn’t slept with Charlie.
Duke scoffed and his lips curled in a snarl you rarely saw on the kid’s face. Duke was usually very easy-going. “I’d say that shit this morning is none of your fucking business, Raiden,” he shot back. “Charlie’s not your girlfriend. Or, fuck, not even your friend, right? You walk around here like she doesn’t matter, so what the fuck do you care what this morning was about?” Duke was losing his shit, and I probably deserved it.
No.
I did deserve it.
“It’s complicated,” I replied like a dumbass.
Duke shook his head and his laugh was anything but humorous. “It’s complicated,” he repeated. His face was full of contempt when he asked, “You want to know what’s complicated, Raiden? What’s complicated is walking down the hallway at Henry Wallace’s party and seeing Charlie stumble out of the bathroom drunk off her ass.” Before I could comment, he went on to say, “Oh, no…that’s not right. I meant to say, drugged off her ass.”
My entire body turned cold. “What?”
Duke stepped to me, the first warning bell to class ignored. “Someone drugged her drink Friday night, Raiden,” he seethed. “She came out of the bathroom and passed out in my arms. I had to take her to my place, so her parents wouldn’t see her like that. This morning was me being pissed because she had snuck out the next morning and had avoided me all weekend. I was worried about her. Even if you…can’t get your shit together, I consider her a friend, and I was worried about her.”
The Eastwood Series Page 20