Motherfucker.
“Baby, you couldn’t be more wrong,” I told her.
Chapter 9
Charlie~
I stared at Raiden, and I didn’t want to believe him.
I was too scared to believe him.
“That following Monday, you treated me like I didn’t exist, Raiden,” I reminded him. “Then you…you let those girls just…” I couldn’t continue. My emotions were all over the place, and I was not about to cry in front of this boy.
“Charlie, I backed off because I felt guilty,” he replied, and his voice was so matter of fact, it was hard not to believe him.
“Guilty over what?’
His brows shot up. “Are you kidding me?” he clipped out. “I promised your parents that you were safe with me, Charlie. I promised you that you were safe with me. I spent all that weekend wondering why you’d ever take me seriously again when I failed on the only promise that meant anything. Why would you want to be with a guy who couldn’t protect you?”
My legs almost gave out on me.
I stared at Raiden not quite believing what he was saying. Raiden Cruz insecure? How could that be? He was gorgeous, athletic, popular, and wanted by every girl in school. How could my mistake cut him off at the knees like that?
“Raiden, I’m the one who snuck away,” I reminded him. “I’m the one who put myself in harm’s way. That shit with Brayden was no one’s fault but my own.”
He cocked his head and his blue eyes felt like they were piercing my soul. “But would you have done that had I done the right thing and ask you out instead of…acting out on my confusion? Would you have even said yes had I asked you out?”
I didn’t really have an answer to that. Had Raiden simply asked me out, I would have most likely had said no. We hadn’t run in the same circles and his reputed casualness towards females was legendary. If he had asked me out, there’s no way I would have taken him seriously.
“So what? You were giving me space?”
“I’m not sure what I was doing,” he admitted. “I think I was giving us both space. When I stepped back, I had been hoping that you were going to step forward. I wanted you to come to me. By choosing me, I’d know that you weren’t blaming me or saw me as less of a man for letting Brayden take you.”
“Raiden, that’s ridiculous,” I chided. “I own that day as my fault.”
He just shook his head. “Doesn’t matter,” he replied. “That’s how the scene was playing out in my head at the time. And then, with every passing day, you kept withdrawing more, and more, and all that did was convince me that you really did see me as a failure.”
My heart lurched. “That’s not true,” I whispered.
“It’s what I thought,” he said again. “And…there were nights I promised myself that I was going to let you go, but then you’d go off and dance with fucking J.C. Grant, and I couldn’t do it. I could stay away, but only if you weren’t with someone else.”
“It’s not a good feeling, is it?” I questioned. “See someone you like wrapped around someone else.”
Raiden stepped to me, and he loomed over me as he said, “Let’s get one thing straight here, Charlie.” His blue eyes bore into mine like lasers. “I haven’t been with another girl since a few weeks before school started. And that day, in the gym, when you told me to take my arm off you, was the beginning of the end for me. No other girl held any appeal after you telling me to fuck off.”
“Raiden-”
“And that night with Darla, she kissed me,” he insisted. “I put my hands on her hips to push her away. In fact, I had been on my way to pull yet another asshole off you when she threw herself at me.” I wanted to believe him, but I was scared. “I know I haven’t given you any reason to believe me, but I love you, Charlie. I’ve been in love with you this entire time.” His hands came up to cradle my face. “I know…I know what I’ve done. I do. But the idea of you…giving yourself to anyone but me fucking kills me, Charlie.”
“Because you want to be my first?”
Raiden dropped his forehead to mine. “I want to be your only, Charlie,” he admitted. “I know that makes me the biggest hypocrite on the planet, but I want to be your first, your last, and your only. I fucking love you.”
“I’m scared,” I confessed. “You can destroy me, if I let you.”
“Tell me what to do, Charlie?” he implored. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it”
“I don’t know,” I whispered sadly. “I don’t know what you can do to make this right. I don’t know how to make the insecurity go away.”
His blue gaze drifted to my lips. “I do.” His lips brushed mine, and I moaned. He deepened the kiss and I let him.
Raiden was so much taller than I was, but my arms went around his neck and I held on. When his arms came around my waist, and he pulled me close, it felt good. It felt better than I had imagined. In this moment, there was no thinking; just feeling.
Raiden felt strong and warm wrapped around me, and I wanted to stay like this forever. His tongue found mine, and we played, using our tongues, our lips, and our teeth. I’ve kissed boys before, but this felt like an exploration. This felt like I was learning how to kiss for the first time. And, maybe, I was. I was kissing Raiden for the first time and learning what he liked and what it was like to be kissed by him.
When he broke off the kiss, we were both breathless, and it was more than I had ever felt with anyone else ever. My face was still in his hands, and those electric blue eyes of his were wild with want.
It felt intoxicating.
“Raiden…”
“Baby, we need to stop,” he rasped out, surprising me.
“What?” I was confused. I was sure he’d try to seduce me into seeing his point of view, so I wasn’t sure what this was.
“Charlie, as much as it pains me to say this-and it does. It really, really does. We still have a lot of shit to work out,” he said. “I’m not going to let how much I want you distract us from some pretty serious issues between us.”
“Raiden, kissing you-”
“Charlie, just because you let me kiss you doesn’t mean you’re cured of your insecurities, or me of mine,” he interrupted.
My brows drew down, and I reared my head back. “What insecurities could you possibly have?” I asked. “You’re Raiden Cruz.”
“Yeah,” he huffed out a dark laugh. “And the only girl I’ve ever fallen in love with doesn’t love me back. And what’s worse, she doesn’t believe that I genuinely love her. She thinks it’s a game I’m trying to win.”
My throat tightened at the emotion in his voice. “I…I don’t know what to say to that,” I admitted because I didn’t. I was battling some serious insecurities, and as long as they existed, he was right. I might be attracted to him and care for him, but as long as I wasn’t sure where I stood, I’d never allow myself to fall for him completely.
Raiden stepped back and sat on the bed. When he reached out and pulled at the hem of my skirt, I let him tug me towards him. He spread his legs until I was standing in between them. With Raiden being so much taller than I was, we were almost face-to-face.
“I’m not expecting you to say anything, Charlie,” he told me. “You just made a comment about me not having anything to be insecure about, and I was just pointing out that I did.”
“What now, then?”
He smirked, and it looked so sexy on him. “Now, we call a truce.”
“A truce, huh?”
“Yeah,” he grinned. “I don’t want to be fighting with my girlfriend every minute of every day. So, yeah, a truce.”
“Your girlfriend?” I squeaked out. “Like…a girlfriend?”
“Charlie, have mercy on me,” he pleaded. “I feel like I’m going to lose my mind not having you as mine. Not to mention, ready to kill every guy who thinks you’re single.” Raiden shook his head. “I can’t take much more, baby.”
My stomach dipped at the endearment. He’s called me that before, but this ti
me it felt different. “I’m going to have issues, Raiden,” I warned him. “I…I can’t say I’m not going to be jealous.” Raiden threw his head back and laughed. “Raiden!”
He looked at me, and he really was a good-looking sonofabitch. “Baby, I don’t care,” he said in return. “Because I’m not going to apology whenever I’m the one who gets jealous.”
I stared into this beautiful boy’s face. “So, we’re really doing this, huh?”
“You bet your ass we are.”
Chapter 10
Raiden~
We were coming upon the end of winter break, and Charlie and I have been dating for over a month.
My reputation had ended up falling in the plus column as people kept expressing their shock at my monogamy. The surprise and confirmation that Charlie Harden must be something motherfucking special to turn me stupid had eased Charlie’s insecurities, and now she felt special.
We also haven’t slept together, and not because she didn’t want to, but because I was holding back. I wanted our first time to matter, and it wouldn’t have if I had taken her as easily as I had every other girl I’ve ever been with.
That night at Samson’s we had stayed the rest of the night upstairs talking. There’d been no fooling around, and we worked out a lot of the miscommunication that led up to our clusterfuck. But by the time we had fallen asleep-fully clothed-we had committed ourselves to making our relationship work.
And, so far, it’s been perfect.
Now, we were at my place, in my bedroom, binge watching the Jason Bourne franchise. Everything was going well until Charlie rolled over to straddle my lap.
I placed my hands on her hips. “Baby, what are you doing?”
“Raiden, I’m dying here,” she replied. She’s been very vocal about her wants lately, but I wasn’t going to rush this. We’ve kissed, and I’ve had my hand up her shirt, but that’s about it.
“Charlie-”
“No, Raiden,” she interrupted. “I want you. And I know you want me.”
I snorted. “Baby, I’ve wanted you from the first day of school. That’s hardly a secret.”
Charlie rolled of my lap in a huff. Her back was to me as she sat on the edge of the bed, reaching over to put her sandals back on. “You know, I understood the wait because you wanted me to love you first, but I don’t understand what’s stopping you now.”
My entire body froze. “What?”
She looked over at me. “Is this a wedding night thing, or are you just trying to punish me for judging you before?”
“Charlie? Did you just say that you loved me?”
“Of course, I love you, Raiden,” she snapped. “Do you honestly think I don’t?”
I scooted my ass over the bed until I was sitting behind her, my arms wrapped around her waist. “But…you’ve never said it,” I pointed out.
“Well, you don’t say it either,” she flung back. And it was true. I’ve kept the words to myself because I hadn’t wanted to make her uncomfortable if she couldn’t say them back.
I placed a kiss on her shoulder. “Say it,” I commanded. “Tell me you love me.”
I could feel her body tremble, and it felt fucking delicious. “I love you, Raiden,” she whispered quietly. “I’ve loved you for a while now.”
I placed another kiss on her shoulder as my hand slid upward to cup her right tit. Her head dropped back, and she let out a slow moan. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she confirmed breathlessly.
I couldn’t hold back anymore. I’ve wanted this girl more than I’ve ever wanted anything before in my life, and she finally said the magic words that finally gave me permission to take her. “I’m not using condoms with you, Charlie,” I told her. “I want you completely, and I want to give you all of me.” She shivered, and I loved it. “But I gotta warn you. I’ve never had sex without a condom on and it’s been six months since I’ve had sex. I’m probably not going to last longer than ten seconds. And I’m being optimistic with the promise of those ten seconds.”
She chuckled, and then turned around until she was straddling my lap again. With her arms around my neck, she looked down at me. “But I bet it’s going to be an amazing ten seconds, Raiden,” she said, her voice strong and sure.
“Yeah?”
Charlie nodded. “Because I love you,” she said, and my entire chest exploded with emotion. “I love you, Raiden Cruz.”
My hands dug into her hair and I pulled her down for a kiss. Our mouths fed off each other and our moans were the soundtrack to one of the most important nights of my life. I sent up a silent prayer that my parents were out of town for the weekend because I didn’t want anything tainting this moment, and that included Charlie’s embarrassment the morning-after had my parents been here.
All too soon, clothes were coming off and I had Charlie naked in my bed. Covering her body with mine, it was hard not to notice how my hands were shaking before I slid them into her hair, anchoring her still. We were both trembling, and I was positive I was going to disgrace myself.
Charlie didn’t know it, but she was a lot of firsts for me. I hadn’t been one to take my time with a female before. I got in and got out. And making sure the girl found her pleasure, too, was about as much effort as I put into all those encounters before her.
Looking down at the only girl I’ve ever loved, I said, “Tell me what you want, Charlie.”
Her brown eyes looked hopeful when she said, “Everything.”
I groaned and my lips started their journey down her body. I left territorial marks in my wake and when I got to her tits, my entire body was vibrating with need. I wrapped my lips around one of her hard nubs and Charlie’s fingers gripped my hair as a lusty moan slipped from her lips. Working off her body language and moans, I lavished her tits until I couldn’t stand it anymore. Then I worked my way further down her body until I hit the jackpot.
With Charlie’s legs spread for my pleasure only, I slid my tongue through her folds and her body’s reaction was just as I’d hoped. “Raiden…” she panted, and it was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard.
“You like that, baby,” I asked between licks and kisses on her core. She tasted perfect and I wondered how I was ever going to leave this spot.
“Yes…” she whimpered, and I slid a finger inside her virgin pussy. It felt tight as fuck and I knew her first time was going to be unpleasant. I knew the only thing I could do was make her as wet as possible. But that wasn’t much of a hardship since eating her pussy was quickly becoming my most favorite thing in the world.
“I’m going to eat your pussy every day, baby,” I promised, and Charlie moaned louder. “Would you like that? Do you want me on my knees licking this sweet cunt?”
“Oh, Raiden…Raiden…”
“Cum on my face, Charlie,” I coaxed. “Flood my face, baby.”
“Raiden…oh, god…oh, god…” She was so close, all it took was for me to add a second finger and Charlie Harden exploded on my tongue, lips, and fingers.
It was better than I could have ever imagined.
I worked two more orgasms out of her before crawling back up her body. When I was positioned over her, I made myself clear about what she meant to me. “I want my cock inside you raw, Charlie. And I really don’t give two fucks if it’s a risk.”
Her eyes were heavy, and she was looking at me like I was her entire world. “I’m protected, Raiden,” she breathed. “I’ve always known this is what I wanted with you.”
My entire body was taut with emotion, and it felt as if I were the one losing my virginity. “It’s going to hurt, baby.”
Charlie nodded. “I know.”
I reached down, lined my cock up against her wet opening, and pushed in every inch in one fluid motion. “Oh, fuck…” I muttered as her tight channel swallowed me whole.
“Raiden!” she screamed as I broke through her barrier. “Oh, god…”
“Relax, baby,” I whispered against her neck. “Just give me a second.” She whimper
ed and I felt like a world-class bastard. But not enough to stop.
“I need you to move, Raiden,” she begged. “Please…”
I pulled out, and she groaned, but when I pushed back in, she threw her head back and her nails dug into my back. “I love you, Charlie,” I panted as I started to pick up the pace of my thrusts. “I’ll always love you.”
“More…” she cried. “More…”
I started pushing into her harder and deeper, and soon we were dancing to a tune as old as time. Soon, there was no more pain and Charlie was begging me to never stop. I lasted longer than I would have expected-thank God-but soon Charlie was clamping around my cock, and I was emptying everything I had inside her.
It was the scariest, best, most perfect moment of my life.
I stayed rooted inside her body until my dick started to soften, and I couldn’t remain quiet any longer. “I’m going to need you forever now, Charlie. I hope you know that.”
She looked up at me through the haze of her aftermath and said, “You have me forever.”
And I knew I did because I was never going to let this girl go.
Epilogue
Duke~
I wasn’t going to lie. It was kind of hard to hold the emotions back. We were well into the middle of the night, where everyone was still partying, but my mind kept recalling my brother walking across the makeshift stage on the football field to get his diploma. Hell, all of them, really.
Going in alphabetical order, Ford had gone first, then Alistair, Raiden, Charlie, Mackenzie, Samson, and Amelia followed by her twin brother, Steele. I was pretty sure I even beat out our parents in the cheering section. The only people who had given me a run for my money were Ford’s little sisters. They had screamed their little seven-year-old hearts out when his name had been called.
While I had friends and interests outside these people who were now my family, the dynamic at Eastwood High was going to shift dramatically with Samson Maddox, Raiden Cruz, and Ford Abrams gone. They’d been football royalty at Eastwood, and everyone was going to feel the sting next year, especially when we played Ridgeview. Granted, as part of the baseball team, everyone could always count on us to kick Ridgeview’s ass, but things were still going to feel different.
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