by Jo Ann Brown
“We won’t be the only two chaperones, will we?” asked Clara.
Isaiah laughed, and she knew he was glad the kinder weren’t there so he had to stifle his amusement. “No, there will be a couple more. Why are you uneasy about being with teenagers when you’re outnumbered every day by kinder?”
“Because, as you said, I’ve got a lot of common sense. I know teenagers can think up mischief faster than preschoolers.”
“That’s gut to hear,” Reuben said, “for this old man who’ll be looking after little ones.”
“You’re going to help?” Clara asked, surprised. She’d assumed the twins would be cared for by Wanda and her daughter-in-law.
“Why not? It’ll be gut practice for a man who hopes one of these days to be bouncing more kins-kinder on his knee.” He sighed. “If one of my younger daughters would pick a young man and settle down...”
Wanda’s secretive smile matched the twinkle in her eyes. “Let’s talk later, Reuben. I might have a suggestion to help.”
Isaiah grinned, and Clara could hear his thoughts as if he’d spoken aloud. He was pleased to have his mamm busy matchmaking for someone else. She lowered her gaze to the table, hoping to hide her delighted smile. It would be fun to spend time with Isaiah. Maybe they’d have time to talk about concerns she didn’t want to discuss when the twins were around.
The past few nights, the kinder hadn’t been as enthusiastic about writing to their grandparents and aenti. Their reluctance had begun after they asked her about leaving the only home they’d ever known to live with extended family. She’d told them the decision would be made by adults, and she’d seen the glances they’d exchanged. From then on, they’d come up with excuse after excuse not to include a drawing or colored picture with the letter. In fact, she’d written almost everything in the most recent letters.
She wanted Isaiah’s opinion about how to handle the touchy situation. She wouldn’t lie to the kinder, but she didn’t want them to worry all the time.
Reuben cleared his throat, drawing her attention to the bishop. He dampened his lips before he asked, “Do the kinder speak of their parents?”
“Never,” Clara replied.
“It’s not right. Do you talk about Melvin and Esta with them?”
Isaiah shook his head. “Not very often, because we don’t want to make them sad.”
“My dear boy, nobody on God’s green earth could make them sadder than they are.” The bishop sighed.
“When I mention their parents,” Clara said, “I let them take the lead in the conversation, but I urge them to talk.”
“You do?” asked Isaiah.
She nodded. “Not that it matters. They change the subject. I get the feeling that sometimes one of them slips and breaks whatever agreement they’ve made not to speak of their parents. They immediately turn the conversation away from Melvin and Esta.”
“Agreement?” Wanda frowned. “I don’t like the sound of that. It’s bad enough someone told them not to laugh. Did someone tell them to stay quiet about their parents?”
“Maybe.” Isaiah scraped his palms on the edge of the table. “Who knows?”
“The gut Lord.” His mamm patted his hands. “We need to let God guide the kinder and us.”
Clara watched Isaiah as the others nodded. He copied the motion, but she could see he was having trouble agreeing. It confirmed what she’d suspected. Something stood between Isaiah and God. His friends’ deaths? The tragic loss of his wife? A shadow hung over him, so dark and deep it was almost visible.
She didn’t have the slightest idea how to ask him if she could help him. Or if she should. Knowing the truth would bring them closer, and she couldn’t risk that.
* * *
The next day dawned warm and sunny. Not a cloud marred the perfect blue sky, and the humidity had been washed away by the night’s rain. The kinder were picked up by Isaiah’s younger brother Daniel, who planned to take them to the Stoltzfus farm. His betrothed, Hannah, her great-grandmother and her little sister Shelby, almost two years old, lived nearby in a house Daniel had built to showcase his talents as a carpenter.
“We’re glad to have the twins join us,” Daniel said with a broad smile that crinkled his eyes. “I was thinking of taking the kinder fishing.”
“I hope you don’t plan on catching anything.” Isaiah clapped his brother on the shoulder.
“As long as I don’t have to fish them out of the water, I’ll consider it a successful day. Hannah and Grossmammi Ella will be joining us for a picnic along with Mamm and Reuben, so they’ll have plenty of eyes on them, too. They’ll have a great time with us.”
“About telling them a joke—”
Daniel became serious. “Mamm warned me. Who would have told those cute kids not to laugh?”
“I’m hoping we can find out, so we can have him or her tell them it’s okay to laugh now. If they smile, consider it a gut day for them.”
“We’ll have a wunderbaar day. Hope you will, too.” He paused as his mouth twisted. “By the way, I know Katie Kay was supposed to go along on this trip...”
“Who’s Katie Kay?” Clara asked.
“One of Reuben’s daughters,” Isaiah said at the same time Daniel replied, “Reuben’s problem kind. She’s run away.”
“Reuben didn’t say anything about that last night,” she said.
“When he got home, he found out she was gone.” Daniel sighed. “From what I was told, she’s staying with an Englisch friend, and nobody knows when she’ll come back home.”
“Does Micah know?” Isaiah asked. “Clara, in case nobody’s told you already, our brother Micah has had a gigantic crush on Katie Kay for a long time. Not that he’s asked her if he could take her home. He doesn’t talk to her because he’s in awe of her.”
“I’m not sure that’s the case any longer,” his brother said with a sigh. “Micah was pretty disgusted when he heard she’d argued with Reuben a couple of days ago. According to her sisters, she left in a huff last night, saying she wouldn’t return until she was gut and ready.”
Isaiah helped Clara get the kinder into his brother’s buggy along with the plates of cookies and the ready-to-bake casserole she was sending along for their midday meal. Tomorrow, if Katie Kay hadn’t come to her senses, he’d make sure to talk with Micah and Reuben. Especially Reuben, because in the past month, Isaiah had come to understand the depth of joy and pain a kind could bring to a daed’s life. Even a temporary daed’s.
He waited until Daniel’s buggy had disappeared over a hill before he went into the house. Clara was checking the stove was off and no water dripped in the sink.
“Clara?”
She faced him.
“Danki for agreeing to come with me. Again I know it wasn’t what you expected when you accepted the job of taking care of the twins.”
“Why do you keep saying that?” Puzzlement filled her voice and expressive eyes.
“Saying what?”
“That this or that thing must not be what I expected when I took this job.”
“Well, it couldn’t have been.”
She smiled. “Maybe not a trip to the amusement park, but I didn’t come here with any assumptions. I’ve been surprised every day by big things and small.”
“We didn’t try to mislead you.”
“Of course you didn’t. Many of the surprises have been lovely ones like rediscovering how far a grasshopper can jump when trying to get away from youngsters intent on capturing it.” Her smile faded. “Isaiah, you worry too much about things that can’t be changed. Maybe shouldn’t be changed.”
He crossed the kitchen to close the distance between them. “Mostly I’m worried about one thing.”
“What’s that?” Her voice dropped to a husky whisper as she tilted her head to meet his gaze.
Hi
s heart halted in midbeat as he gazed into her brown eyes. They were delightfully close to his. A single lock of red hair had escaped her kapp, and he had to force his hand to remain by his side so he didn’t reach out and twirl it around his finger. Its vibrant color was a tease as he envisioned loosening her hair and seeing it become a fiery fall down her back.
Then she took a step away. A single step, but the motion was enough to break the connection between them and let him escape from his imagination. Nothing had changed. He didn’t trust himself to be there for another woman, so how could he ask this very special one to trust him?
“What are you worried about, Isaiah?” she asked, her words as shaky as his knees.
“Having you leave because you decide you don’t want to put up with any more of the hassles you’ve faced since you’ve gotten here.”
Startled, she repeated, “Leave?”
“If you go, Clara, I’m not sure what the twins and I would do. You’ve brought a serenity into the midst of the chaos exploding around us.”
“What makes you think I’m going anywhere? I told you I’d be here, God willing, until the kinder’s family comes to collect them.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” He was. On many different levels in his heart, including ones he’d thought sealed forever.
“We need to get going, or we’ll miss the bus,” she said.
“Let’s go.” He closed the door behind him as he needed to shut out these yearnings. He cared too much about Clara to put her through the hard lessons of discovering how he could let her down.
* * *
An hour later, Isaiah was spending more time watching Clara than the five teenagers they were supposed to be chaperoning. The kids were looking around with interest, but she was gaping at the rides and the crowds inside the entrance. When she exclaimed over the bright colors and the delicious smells, the three boys and two girls with them giggled.
“You’ve never been to Hersheypark before, Clara?” Isaiah asked.
“Never. I know it’s a tradition in your district for the teenagers to take this trip at least once every summer, but it wasn’t in mine.”
“Did you have any traditions?” He paused as the teens discussed whether they wanted to stop for funnel cakes or frozen yogurt first. The idea of either in the midmorning made his stomach protest.
“Of course! My favorite was when the youth groups had a picnic and went canoeing.”
“Did you get dunked?”
“More than once, but everyone expected it, so we brought extra clothes with us. Have you ever been out in a canoe?”
“A few times. The creeks around Paradise Springs get high enough in the spring to let us canoe, but by summer, they’re trickles.”
“I wonder if the twins would enjoy going out in a canoe. I could—”
He halted her by putting a finger to her lips. “Now, none of that.” As the teens laughed, he lowered his voice while following them toward the first rides. “It’s your day off, Clara. Remember what Reuben said. You don’t have to think about the kinder today. They’re in gut hands with my family. My mamm has raised nine of us, and Reuben has four daughters of his own as well as a son. Between them, they can handle two sets of mischievous twins.”
“I know.” She stopped again as the teens decided on hot dogs. When a boy asked if she wanted one, Isaiah was surprised when she nodded and ordered one with ketchup and relish. “But it’s difficult not to think about them.”
He grinned and said as she had, “I know. They’re a part of my life.” His smile faded. “I don’t like to think of a time when they won’t be.”
“Their aenti lives in California, right?”
“When she’s not on mission work.” He sighed, wishing the conversation hadn’t taken this turn. He’d looked forward to having a day with Clara and getting to know her better. “And the twins’ grandparents live in Pinecraft, Florida. They belong to a Mennonite church there. When Esta fell in love with Melvin, she accepted our way of life and was baptized before they married.”
“Having someone, even a conservative Mennonite, join our church doesn’t happen often.”
“As you may have noticed, each of the twins has a stubborn streak a mile wide. They got that from Esta.” His smile returned when the boys brought over one hot dog for Clara and two for him. “And a little bit more from Melvin.”
“And a little bit from you, too.”
“Bad habits—as well as gut ones—tend to rub off on people.”
The teenagers led them from ride to ride, each one more outrageous than the one before it. They laughed as they rode the inanimate horses of the carousel and squealed with excitement on the more adventurous rides. It was a toss-up who enjoyed it more: the teenagers or the chaperones.
The day passed quickly, and too soon one of the teenagers with a cell phone told them that they had one hour before they had to leave. That set off a debate among the boys about which rides they should go on. Isaiah stayed out of the discussion while Clara and the girls went to get sodas for everyone.
At the call of his name, he took a deep breath. He’d seen Orpha Mast get on and off the bus ahead of him and Clara. Someone on the bus must have mentioned he was chaperone. Most likely Larry Nissley, one of the biggest gossips in Paradise Springs, who’d stepped off the bus right after Orpha.
Orpha, wearing a bright cranberry dress, smiled. “Are you having a fun day, Isaiah?”
“I can’t imagine anyone not having fun at Hersheypark.” He resisted glancing toward the restaurant where Clara had gone with the girls. When he saw Larry hanging by its door, he had to fight not to frown. Was Larry watching them? Or just Orpha? “You’d have to try hard in order not to have fun.”
“True.” She stepped closer, seeming oblivious to the looks the boys—and Larry—shot in their direction. “But it’s seldom I get to do anything fun. You don’t know how it is in our house.”
“I know your family is very close.”
Her eyes narrowed as she frowned. “I thought you were insightful. At least, that’s what Rose told me. She said you’d guessed the truth of why she married you.”
“She married him,” said Clara as she came to stand next to them, “because she loved him. That’s what everyone has told me.”
“Everyone doesn’t know the truth.” Orpha tapped the center of her chest. “I do. She married you, Isaiah, because Daed has ordered us to marry before our twenty-first birthday. You were available, so she married you.”
Clara stiffened, but her face remained serene as she looked at Orpha as if the other woman were as young as the twins. Her voice remained calm when she said, “That’s enough of your vitriol, Orpha. I’m sorry if your daed insists you marry by a certain date. Many parents do, but you don’t see the rest of us venting our annoyance.” Not letting the other woman answer, she added, “Don’t listen to her, Isaiah. She’s trying to hurt you. You don’t have to believe her—”
“No, you don’t have to believe me,” Orpha snapped, “but you’ll believe Leah, ain’t so? Rose said she told Leah the truth one day. Ask Leah!”
“What’s in the past is in the past.” Isaiah appreciated Clara coming to his defense, but it was unnecessary. “Nothing we say or do can change what’s happened.” He looked from one teenager to the next and saw none of them were surprised by Orpha’s outburst. They knew her too well. “We’ve got time for one more ride. What’ll it be?”
He walked away with their group, letting the teens take the lead. Though he kept a handbreadth between him and Clara, he was as aware of her vexation as if it were his.
“Don’t dwell on Orpha’s words,” he said.
“How can you let her say such hateful things to you?” Clara asked, her tone taut.
“How could I stop her?”
She sputtered for a moment, then said, “You�
�re right.”
“Clara, no matter what reason Rose had for marrying me, she came to love me. More than I deserved, to be honest.”
“Why do you say that?”
He hesitated on his answer, not wanting to darken the day with a litany of his mistakes. But wasn’t saying nothing almost as bad as lying?
When one of the boys turned and called that they wanted to ride the Kissing Tower, a round observation tower decorated on the outside by gigantic candy Kisses, Isaiah was grateful he didn’t have to answer Clara’s question. The five teenagers bounced around them like a mob of kangaroos.
They waited in line at the tall tower. When it was their turn, he motioned for Clara to precede him onto the ride. Entering the circular cabin that moved up and down a cylinder as wide as a silo and twice as tall, she waited for him before she moved toward the teens who were looking out the windows, trying to determine which one would give them the best view.
Clara gazed out, too, as the ride started to rise and then begin to turn to offer vistas of the park and the countryside around it, but Isaiah couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was a fascinating collection of contrasts. She showed many of her emotions, but hid others so deeply he couldn’t guess what they might be. She was loving with the kinder, and, at the same time, she taught them to do what was right. She spent at least an hour each night writing to the youngsters’ family, but seldom spoke of hers.
And the one aspect of her that puzzled him most was how she could be alluring without being flirtatious. In fact, it was the opposite. She treated him as a partner in caring for the kinder, and she’d agreed to let the matchmakers have their fun without it meaning anything. The few times his resolve had slipped and he’d considered drawing her to him, she’d found a way to edge away.
He grimaced when he thought of how different the day would have gone if Orpha had been with him instead of Clara. She would have hung on his every word and on his arm whenever she could manage it. Rather than enjoying the rides, she would have seen them as an opportunity to nestle up to him.
He would have liked Clara to cuddle close on one of the rides. She’d slid across the seat and bumped into him on the Tilt-A-Whirl, but pushed herself to her side as she laughed. He should have gathered her to him while they enjoyed the ride together.