by Jayne Rylon
She much preferred those natural, open Joshes than the uncertain, guarded one she could see emerging. So she decided to be honest. “I haven’t really been interested in anyone since then. But what I saw down below…that was…wow.”
Josh smiled then, slowly and softly. “Seriously. It was intense even though they were hardly getting started. Amazing, right?”
She nodded, biting her lip to keep from begging him to take her back inside so they could watch whatever was surely unfolding below, guilt-free this time.
No, that was too much to ask for. More than she could handle after what had already been a monumental night of breakthroughs. She couldn’t risk fucking that up now.
Still, she didn’t want to take anything away from Andi, Cooper, Reed, and Simon or her bosses, who’d been soaking up their honest passion. “It was. She’s lucky. Andi, I mean.”
“No, I think the guys are the fortunate ones.” Josh sighed then. He rubbed her back in soothing strokes up and down her spine that seemed natural for him. She’d bet he didn’t even realize he was doing it as he composed his thoughts. “Have you ever wanted something so bad, but didn’t believe you’d ever get it? Or that it was even possible? I’m not sure if it makes it better or worse to be that close and see what we don’t have. No amount of hard work or money will guarantee it happens, either. It’s a situation the three of us aren’t used to being in.”
“You’re frustrated.” She leaned into his touch then, hoping to give him some comfort in return.
“More like scared,” he admitted. “What if we never find our Andi?”
Was he crazy? What woman wouldn’t want to be pampered and adored by three of the sexiest, funniest, most noble men she’d ever met?
“You will, Josh. You will,” she promised him, wishing she could have been the one for them. If only things hadn’t gotten so complicated, maybe… “You guys are some of the best men I’ve ever met. Any woman would be lucky to have you.”
He paused then and went stiff beneath her fingers. His muscles coiled as he looked down at her, peering intently into her eyes. “Any woman? Including you?”
Kari blinked. How should she respond? Honestly? Or in the way that was best for their professional relationship?
At the end of the day, she couldn’t bear to see him struggle with his emotions or the self-doubts she’d fought for so long now. “Yes. Especially me.”
His hands shifted, moving upward. They left her only briefly, so that he could bring them in front of her and cup her face in his palms. He tilted her head back and lowered his own until his lips were a hairsbreadth from hers.
“Tell me now if this isn’t what you want,” he whispered.
Kari couldn’t speak the words necessary to get him to stop. She didn’t want him to. Instead she went up on to her tiptoes and sealed their mouths together. He groaned and applied himself to their kiss. Their first kiss, and maybe their only.
If it was the one chance she ever got with him, she wanted to make it count.
Kari twined her fingers with his short blond hair and held him close so that she could absorb the world-rocking impact his caresses had on her body, and her life. Nothing would be the same after this. And she didn’t care. It was so good. She had to have more.
She parted her lips, snaking her tongue out to lick at him, to taste him more fully.
He followed her lead and deepened the kiss, pulling her tight to him as he sucked on her tongue, making her knees wobble.
When she might have fallen, he lifted her. Thankful for the stretch in the oversized, gossamer outer layer of her dress, she wrapped her legs around his waist to steady herself. It might have been unladylike, but there was nothing civil about what she was sharing with Josh as they made out.
She moaned into his mouth and began to squirm slightly, rubbing herself along his entire torso. The hours he spent at the gym were very apparent in his tight ass beneath her calves, his flat abs—which pressed against her core—and the rippling muscles in the shoulders she clung to. Despite his hardness, which she could now unmistakably detect pressed between her legs as well, she felt something else coming from him.
Tenderness, affection, awe. Things that were far more dangerous.
Things that frightened her.
So she broke their upper bodies apart. Her hands kneaded his pecs as she tried to catch her breath. Their foreheads rested against one another and they stared directly into each other’s eyes.
“Kari?” he murmured.
She didn’t know how to respond. Didn’t know what he wanted or where they were supposed to go from here.
Her hesitation affected him, too. Some of the passion darkening his eyes began to fade and that damned uncertainty crept back in. “I’m—”
“If you say you’re sorry right now, I swear I’m going to knee you in the nuts,” she blurted before she could think better of it.
Fortunately, it seemed to be exactly the right thing to say.
Josh cracked up. He squeezed her tight, then lowered her to the trampoline as her legs loosened their hold on him. “So noted.”
Kari grinned up at him, his amusement infectious.
Besides, it was such a relief. Maybe she hadn’t spoiled everything by ogling the group down below or by kissing him. How that could be, she wasn’t sure, but she figured she should stop while she was ahead. In the distance, the tender approached. Her carriage had arrived.
The entire evening had left her reeling. Swamped by so many different emotions and revelations. She truly felt like Cinderella must have at that ball. But now it was long past midnight, and she had to return to reality before she turned into a pumpkin.
“I think that’s my ride,” she said softly as she lifted her chin toward the approaching boat.
“Ah, okay.” Josh nodded solemnly. “Feel free to say no…”
Was he about to ask her to stay? Tell her he wanted her to rejoin them downstairs, as an approved guest this time? She hoped not. It wasn’t an offer she could accept. She had to salvage this night and her job. Her pride.
Besides, they both knew it wasn’t up to him. Andi, Cooper, Reed, and Simon weren’t here to give their permission. No one was going to interrupt them now.
“Would it be okay if I took you myself? Back to shore and then to your house? I would feel better making sure you get there safely.” He ran his fingers through her hair, straightening it as he waited for her response. It was a little unfair, because his gentle caresses sent sparkles through her bloodstream, making her agree, even if she shouldn’t.
“I’d like that.” She stepped back, but trailed her hand down his arm until she could link their fingers together. She’d allow herself that simple, innocent touch to keep herself steady.
Even if it was reckless.
Because part of her could imagine what it would be like if she was really his. His and Ford’s and Brady’s. And she liked that vision too much.
Josh lifted her fingers to his mouth and kissed her knuckles, every bit the chivalrous prince she imagined him to be. He guided her toward the sugar scoop, where they met the tender.
After a brief exchange, he took over for the crew, officially releasing them from duty for the evening. Neither she nor Josh said much as they returned to shore, and real life, especially not with other people around. That didn’t mean she couldn’t feel his stare on her or the pulses of heat in her lips as she replayed their kiss over and over.
Kari touched her mouth, wondering if she would always feel the press of his there. It was far better than the last encounter she’d relived a million unwanted times.
She looked up at Josh and smiled, then mouthed, Thanks.
Anytime, he mouthed back.
When they reached the dock, he hopped out first then handed her up next before swooping her into his arms. Shocked, she clung to his shoulders.
“Since we never went back for your shoes and this is gravel…” He kicked a few rocks then trailed off when she didn’t argue.
Kari
didn’t want to admit it, but she felt so much better with Josh carrying her through the shadows of the harbor parking lot then tucking her into the limo, that she didn’t even mind Bronson’s speculative gaze. She only regretted having to let go of him.
This time he kept the divider firmly in place, though he didn’t need to. She and Josh were on their best behavior as they shared a quiet ride back to her apartment. He kept hold of her hand, but didn’t make any other advances.
When they entered her neighborhood, he murmured, “Are you okay?”
Surprisingly, she wasn’t lying when she said, “Very. I’d say tonight was one hell of a success.”
“Me too.” He squeezed her fingers, then brushed his thumb over her knuckles, making her shiver. Before anything else could happen, they’d arrived. He climbed out and reached for her. She didn’t even bother to protest when he gathered her against his chest once more.
He was a perfect gentleman as he brought her inside, rode up the elevator, set her down on the carpet outside her apartment, and waited for her to unlock her door. It took a few tries since her hands trembled with the desire to turn and cling to him again. She hesitated on the threshold, but didn’t ask him to come in. There was too much to think about for that.
Josh nodded, as if he agreed with her unspoken decision. He leaned in briefly, only to dust a friendly peck over her cheek. “Goodnight, Kari.”
“It was. One of the best,” she said.
“I agree, and only the beginning,” she thought she heard him murmur as he turned to go. Kari was sure her building had never had a man as fine as him inside it, and it was a shame to let him leave.
But when he slipped into the elevator, she sighed, and locked the door behind him.
To keep people out, sure. But also to keep herself from running to catch him.
What the hell were they going to do now?
8
Josh sat in the main living space of their penthouse, surrounded by glass and steel. He hadn’t bothered turning the lights on, preferring instead to crash on the white leather sectional and survey the cityscape, gleaming even in the darkest hours of the night. From here, he could barely make out the marina in the distance. He rolled the tumbler of whisky around in his hand, ice cubes inside clinking against the sides, before taking another deep drink. He let the amber liquid pool on his tongue then swallowed, relishing the burn of the aged liquor that meant soon he’d be numb.
Although, frankly, he’d thought that several glasses ago. Nothing was alleviating the ache in his chest that had blossomed when he’d torn his lips away from Kari’s and worsened when he’d turned his back on her at her door. She wasn’t his to claim. And she never would be.
Damn it.
He remembered shouting her name as he sprinted after the whirl of silk and long wavy hair she’d turned into as she fled. Had she been running from him or from what she’d seen?
Or from the fact that she’d liked it?
He’d noticed the awe and envy on her face when she saw how Cooper, Reed, and Simon worshipped Andi. Hell, he’d recognized it because he felt the exact same way.
Plus horny.
Really horny.
Of course, his hard-on had wilted the moment he’d realized what had happened—that she’d stumbled across a situation she might not be ready to process and which could easily have triggered bad memories. Then he was bounding over winches and lines to reach her before she vanished in the tender. Getting laid had been the last thing on his mind.
Okay, maybe not quite the last, but her safety and mental well-being had been way higher on his list of priorities. So he still wasn’t sure how they’d gone from him comforting her to him kissing her. Nothing in his life had felt more right and yet probably been as wrong.
The whole point of inviting her to Ford’s party had been to help her forget and heal. Instead, he’d complicated things by turning the last moments of the evening into something delicious but treacherous. He’d be lucky if she didn’t slap him with some sort of sexual harassment violation.
Putting enough distance between them to see her home had been painful. Leaving her at her door instead of bringing her to their penthouse or asking if she’d wanted to stop somewhere for late-night dessert or if he could tuck her into bed and watch over her while she slept… Well, keeping silent had just about resulted in him having to bite his tongue off. It had taken every shred of willpower he possessed to keep the questions from flying from his lips, which still flamed from their kiss.
There had to be a better solution. One that worked for each of them.
It wasn’t often that Josh wanted something he couldn’t have. And he didn’t fucking like it.
Not at all.
He’d been sitting there stewing for who knew how many hours before he heard deep, familiar laughter and the excited voices of his two partners echoing down the hall from the front door, which opened off the private elevator that serviced the building’s penthouse. They’d been friends for over a decade. It had seemed natural to get a place together while they were in law school. As they’d advanced their careers together and upgraded their home, they hadn’t seen any reason to branch out on their own. Their lives meshed through both business and friendship.
Everyone said that was a bad idea, but Josh had never been afraid of the repercussions of melding their lives so completely…until tonight. Kari could change everything. For the better if they were lucky, or much, much worse in the bulk of the scenarios he could conjure.
That didn’t stop him from wishing for the improbable or ruminating over every possible way he could make it happen for them. Brooding was more Ford’s style, or maybe even Brady’s. He’d be happy to give them back this burden, if only it were that easy.
Brady burst into the main living space first. He ambled to the couch opposite Josh, his tux jacket draped over one forearm. Undone, his bowtie hung on either side of his shirt, which had been unbuttoned some. He tossed his jacket across the back of the sofa, then took off his polished shoes, kicking them to the side of a plush rug that helped define the wide open area that made up their living room, dining room, and kitchen.
Never before had the enormous space felt so cavernous and empty to Josh. It sure as hell did now.
Walls would be a shame in a place that had a view like this. Open inside, only the perimeter delineated the space. Even that was entirely made of glass to ensure each direction held amazing sights of their city. But Brady wasn’t looking at it tonight. And neither was Ford, who followed behind more slowly. He shrugged out of his own perfect jacket, which didn’t have a single wrinkle despite him wearing it all night. He hung it neatly on a stool at the bar nearby before untying and arranging his own shoes.
Only then did he join his friends, his gaze trained on Josh. He frowned when he took in the glass Josh clutched.
“You okay?” Ford sobered pretty quickly, his satisfied smirk melting off his face.
Josh’s self-loathing kicked up a notch. It wasn’t often Ford relaxed and enjoyed himself. His birthday party had been a rare treat, and now Josh was about to fuck it up. Maybe he should just keep his mouth shut and go to bed. They could fight in the morning.
“Fine.” He left it at that.
“Ah, shit.” Brady scrubbed one hand through his midnight hair. “That’s bull.”
“Sorry you missed out on the fun. I thought spending time with Kari would help make up for it.” Ford grimaced. “But you’re right. It’s not fair you had to leave just when things got good.”
“Huh?” Josh tilted his head. Maybe he’d drunk more than he thought. His friends weren’t making any sense. They thought he was pissed at them? That he’d gotten the short straw that night?
“Not to rub salt in the wound or anything, but for the sake of full disclosure…” Brady couldn’t help but revert to lawyer mode when he tried to solve problems. It was how they were programmed. “Cooper and his family put on one hell of a show for us. After watching how they worshipped Andi and brough
t her so much pleasure…fuck, I’ve never wanted something more.”
His hand wandered to his crotch and he rearranged himself. It didn’t do much to disguise his arousal.
“It was incredible,” Ford agreed. “Hot as hell. I don’t think I’ve ever been so fucking jealous of an intern before.”
He looked around the spectacular place they lived, as if assessing its worth with fresh eyes. Josh did, too. Whereas in the past he’d thought it was perfect, he realized it wasn’t quite a home yet. Not without someone to bind them together and fulfill their fantasies. To fill the massive void threatening to swallow him whole.
Things would be different if Kari lounged beside him on the rich white leather or brightened the place with her gleaming smile or the sound of her humming to herself while she was working. It was easy to picture them making breakfast together then getting in a food fight that resulted in the three men devouring her instead.
“Damn,” he groaned.
“Seriously.” Brady nodded. “Do you want details or not?”
Josh blinked. The guys were still unaware they were having two totally different conversations. Fuck it. He might as well let them distract him from his transgressions and from the longing that threatened to drown him. “Yeah, sure. What happened after I left?”
Besides the most intoxicating kiss of my life, that is.
As if a dam had burst, Brady said in a rush, “Once they realized we weren’t about to object, I think Andi really got into showing off for us. Like she finally got to flaunt her guys to someone who gets it. She was passionate, so generous and affectionate with them. It was like she knew what each of them needed and made sure they had it without even trying.”
“What he means is that Andi has a lot of needs of her own and each of them fulfills some of them. She gets off on it when Reed takes control, but Cooper and Simon reassure her and soften his harsh commands.” Ford threw his head back, letting his skull rest on the back of the couch while the tendons in his neck stood out. He gazed upward, then slammed his eyes shut.