His arms kept me from getting more than three feet away.
"Let. Me. Go!" Slamming my head back against him, I was hoping to at least get a chin shot in. Unfortunately, our difference in height just meant he might have a bruise in two to three hours. His grip didn't loosen one bit.
"I'll let you go, but don't leave. Please, just let me tell you one thing."
His arms eased up on their hold and against my better judgement, I turned and stared at him. "What? I have a nail appointment to get to."
"I don't expect you to forgive me. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I was, and that I was an idiot. Things should never have gotten that far. My only intention was to put you at ease. I thought maybe if you thought I was Remy, you would. That was my only intention, I swear."
"Fine. Can I go now?"
Sighing, he nodded.
I turned around and started walking away slowly, fighting with every ounce of courage I had, not to run. When I was five feet away, I stopped and without turning around, asked him, "Would you have fucked me?"
"What?"
"You heard me. If things had progressed, would you have fucked me letting me think you were Remy?"
"The fact that your question makes me want to vomit, means my answer is a definite no. I wouldn't have."
"You probably should have. That might have been the only way you ever would have gotten a chance."
And I walked away.
Chapter 13
Surprisingly enough, smacking one's face against a linoleum covered countertop is a damn good way to sober the fuck up. Sitting up, I rubbed my nose and forehead, flashing a quick glance at Roki. His eyebrows were raised above his widened eyes, and a sympathetic look passed over his face. "Ouch."
"Didn't feel nuffin," I said and set my head back down, pressing my forehead against the cool countertop in an effort to alleviate any swelling. I'd been drinking since I stumbled back into our room the night before, woke up still drunk, and had been chewing on the hair of the dog since breakfast. It was the only thing that numbed the pain in my heart and the pounding in my head.
Even Professor Velheim had taken one look at me and decided to leave me alone. She had spent the better part of the class working with the students in the back. She was probably just ogling Kottr and Fress, but as long as it kept her off my ass, I didn't give a shit. Or even two.
"Kaede-sama, you look horrible."
"Gee. Thanks, Roki. Go suck a bag of dicks."
"Where exactly would one procure a bag of dicks?"
"I don't know. Dick's Sporting Goods? I'll get you a bag of dicks for your birthday," I mumbled and turned my head away from him, staring out the windows at the mountains in the distance.
"Please keep one of them for yourself."
"Don't need another dick."
"I meant to replace the one atop your shoulders."
"Huh?" I lifted my head and turned back toward him, staring incredulously. "Did you just call me a dick head?"
"If the prophylactic hat fits, wear it."
"Wait… Are you mad at me?"
He shrugged and stirred the pot. In more ways than one.
"What the fuck did I do?"
"Class is over in twenty minutes. We do not have time to discuss this."
"Woah. Hold on one kami-damned minute… You. Are pissed. At me? What fucking universe did I wake up in?" I looked around the room to make sure nobody had grown a second head or was at least growing a dick out of their forehead. I paused a brief moment to ponder the possibilities associated with that.
"It is nothing," Roki answered in his usual passive aggressive voice whenever I had finally dropped the final straw that broke the fox's back.
"Well, obviously it's fucking something. What did I do to you? Don't even start to tell me that you're pissed that I want to gut Rome."
He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "No. As I said, it is nothing. Do not concern yourself."
"Fine." I reached under the sink and took a swig of my mead. "If you're not going to tell me, it just means you’re a liar, liar, pants on fire." There was a subtle change in the air, and I stuck my finger in my ear and wiggled it around.
"Either way, it does not matter."
"Not to me."
"Good."
I felt bad whenever I was an ass to Roki. He was the last person on the planet that deserved it, and I knew that. I really did. But when he slipped into one of his rare moods, he was impossible to deal with. He'd be fine in a few hours once he vented his frustration on me. It was probably good for him. "Still love me?"
"Unfortunately."
"Ouch."
"Is the rice almost done?"
I glanced at the rice cooker in front of me. It was the one part of the meal that Roki had delegated to me. The display was blank, and I gasped when I realized I'd never turned it on. "Uh… Houston? We haz a problem."
"You forgot to turn it on, didn't you?"
"Maaaybe."
Blowing out an angry breath, he got up and pushed his stool back, heading for the walk-in cooler. "What do you need, Roki? I'll get it."
"No. You'd probably forget what you went in there for, and I'd have to come find you. It will be quicker to get it myself."
"Ouch."
He stopped walking and looked at me over his shoulder, cocking an eyebrow and flashing me a disgusted look. Chagrined, I pouted on my stool until he came back and slammed some zucchini down on the table next to me and pulled out a cutting board. I sat in silence, moderately drinking while I watched him deftly cut the squash up into thin noodle-like slices and slam them into the pan he had been reducing a sauce in, stirring it until they cooked. He had sliced them so thin, it only took a few minutes until he picked up the pan and tonged the zucchini onto a large serving platter.
"There," he said angrily and lifted the lid off another pan he'd been poaching salmon in. Using a thin spatula, he delicately transfered the three pieces he'd cooked onto the bed of veggie-noodles. The remainder of the sauce he carefully spooned on top of the already amazing fish. The minute he set the pan down, Professor Verminmeister walked around us and stepped in front of our station.
"That smells delicious, Mr. Nishimura."
"Arigato."
"May I?"
Roki pulled a clean fork out of our drawer and handed it to the professor. She pried a flake of fish off the corner, scooped a little of the zucchini, and popped it all into her cavernous mouth. Her eyes widened, and she beamed at Roki.
"Amazing. That might be the best salmon I've ever had. Should you ever find yourself without," she paused to cast me a disdainful look, "a need to look after those who cannot take care of themselves, you would have a brilliant future as a chef."
"Thank you, Professor." Roki gave her a little bow.
I bent below the counter and made gagging noises. "Sorry. hairball," I said as I sat up.
The disdainful look she flashed me earlier was nothing compared to the seething disgust and snide smile she held for a few moments and then walked away.
"Bitch."
"What was that, Miss Tanaka?"
"I said my butt had a twitch."
"That's strange. I didn't see you thinking." She cackled and walked away. Good thing, too. I was drunk enough to start some shit.
"Are you hungry?" Roki asked, sympathetically.
I looked down at the plate of food, ignored the whining from my tummy and flicked him off. "No. You don't get to be pissed, treat me like an asshole, even if I do deserve it, and then be nice. Fuck this place. I'm outta here."
Standing, Roki backed away from me and knocked over whatever bottle of booze he'd used in the sauce for the salmon. It splashed all over him and quickly spread to the lit burner. Time slowed as I watched the flames lick the liquid and blue flames spread over the counter. Flashfire leapt from there to Roki's pants, igniting them instantly.
I screeched and without thinking, leapt at him, knocking him to the ground and smothering the flames with the only thing I had. Me. I
t burned and was stubborn, but I held onto his legs and smeared myself over him like a cheap whore.
I had just extinguished the last of them when Professor Velheim sprayed the two of us with a fire extinguisher. Then she turned it on the flames burning off on the counter.
"Miss Tanaka?"
"Yes, Professor?"
"Get out of my class."
"Yes, Professor." Covered in scorch marks, soot, and white powder, I stood and stared down at my ruined uniform. It vaguely reminded me of one night of clubbing in LA that I had almost forgotten. I smiled, twirled, and headed for the door.
"Professor, it was me who knocked over the bottle," Roki said in my defense.
"Roki, that girl is a hot mess and a danger to everybody around her. You included."
Tears streamed down my face. She wasn't wrong. Kicking open the door, I pulled off my jacket and left the class. The feeling of being watched made me pause and turn. I caught the worried looks of Fress and Kottr just as the door slammed shut.
∞ ∞ ∞
There was something therapeutic about taking a shower when I should have been in gym class. Pulling my bottle of mead out of the shampoo holder, I took a swig and put my head back under the water, letting it wash away the miasma of shitty day that was clinging to me like cheap perfume.
Reaching over blindly, I turned the water temperature even hotter, reached up and adjusted the head, turned around and slid down the wall until I was sitting on the wet tile. The stream was perfect, dumping abundant amounts of water on me while I sat on the floor and drank. I didn't even have to lean that far over to avoid getting my mead watered down. I smiled to myself as the shower washed away the tears that were steadily falling down my face.
You need to stop drinking.
Fenrir! What's up, buddy?
There was a moment of silence while he pondered on how to respond to my unusual outburst.
You go back to sleep?
I am always asleep. It is the outermost spheres of my dreams that brush your mind.
You gots some purdy fucked up dreams.
As do you. The one you had last night with your protector and the bucket of chicken was quite disturbing.
To you. I got off on that shit. Woke up sweating and shaking.
I know. Do you not think you have wallowed in self-pity long enough? You are going to lose consciousness.
Great thing about this school? Endless fucking hot water. At least I won't freeze my ass off. I took another drink and then ended up shaking the bottle when the last splash hit my tongue. "Fuck. Outta booze."
That is probably a good thing.
Good thing I knows peoples. I chuckled and held the bottle under the shower, letting it fill and then whispering a little prayer that it wouldn't be H2O with my next sip.
Fenrir didn't disappoint. Apparently, he wasn't awake enough to cut me off. I raised the bottle up in a silent toast. Or so I thought. The bottle flew from my hand, banged open the stall door, and bounced against the wall across the bathroom. Most of the mead splashed out upon impact, and the rest gurgled out of the bottle as it rolled over the floor toward the drain.
"Nooooo! That's alcohol abuse."
You cannot find me if you are dead.
Yeah, well you can bite me. That was the only damn thing stopping my heart and head from hurting. I leaned over and lay on my side, staring at the empty bottle as it finally settled.
You need to get up, my herald.
Don't wanna. I'm comfy and nobody wants me, anyway. Even Roki would be better without me.
Perhaps. But you can do nothing about changing lying on the floor of a water closet.
Water closet?
I felt him rummage around my head for the right word. Shower.
Fine. If you won't shut up, I might as well get dressed and go get drunker somewhere else. I rolled onto my stomach and got up on my knees, hanging onto the wall as I stood up slowly. Turning off the water, I pressed my forehead against the cold tile on the wall and stared down at my feet. "Don't fail me now," I whispered and shuffled around. Reaching for my towel, I stretched a bit too far and my foot slipped out from beneath me. My head struck the wall, and I watched in horrid fascination as the floor flew up to my face.
Muffled voices above me woke me up, and my head was propped against something soft instead of cold, hard tile.
"Owww," I groaned in agony. My head felt like a split melon, and my back and shoulder weren't much better.
"Are you okay? I feared the worst." Hiroki's voice caught, and I could feel the anguish in his words.
"Been better, been worse. Anybody got an aspirin?" Without opening my eyes, I started to sit up, but Roki's hand on my shoulder stopped me.
"Be still. The nurse is coming."
"She's gonna get sick of seeing me."
"We're going to swat you for running off alone. Again. Please stop doing that."
I cracked an eye and looked up at the other speaker. Flicking Rome off, I closed the eye letting way too much light into my head. "You don't get to tell me what to do anymore. You lost that right."
"Silence, Kaede-sama. He is the one who found you and called the rest of us."
Opening my eye, I squinted at the other two standing on the other side of the shower entrance. "Hey, guys." The pain slowed my thoughts a little, and what Roki said finally sank in. I narrowed my eyes at Rome. "How did you find me, passed out on the floor of the women's restroom? Hang out in here often?"
He sighed, shook his head, and left.
"No. Another student saw you on the floor, naked and bleeding, and screamed. Rome-sama was in the hallway.”
"Oh. That makes sense."
I snuggled against Roki's leg and ignored everything around me, except for the warmth of the bathrobe someone had draped over me. Drifting in and out of slumber, I tried valiantly to ignore Roki's pleas for me to stay awake. When I finally opened my eyes again, I was lying in the infirmary bed. At the rate I was going, I probably should just have my belongings moved to the infirmary.
"Hello?"
It took a moment for Lornca to peek her head through the curtain. "How are you feeling?"
"Stellar. Got anything to drink?"
"Water?"
"Mead?"
"Water?"
"Water. Please." I groaned and put my arm over my eyes, blocking the overhead lights from melting my brain.
She returned with a plastic cup filled with clear liquid. I gave a silent prayer to Fenrir for a little transubstantiation magic, but he ignored me. For once. I should have been grateful, but it just pissed me off.
Hmmph.
He was definitely ignoring me.
"What happened?"
"Everybody hates me. Got drunk and fell down."
She reached for my forehead and just before her palm connected with my skin, it started glowing green and felt warm to the touch. She sat silently for a moment and then nodded, pulling her hand away. "The swelling is down, and your wound is healed."
"Put your hand back? That felt good."
She sighed, pulled the chair over to the bed, and sat down next to me. "I hate to break I to you, but your headache isn't from your injury. It's from your damn drinking. I'm cautioning you to stop."
Ignoring her, I closed my eyes and pretended to dose off. If I had a dollar for every time someone had urged me to quit drinking, I'd be richer than my parents.
"I'm not telling you to do this for you. I'm begging you to do it for those around you."
"Afraid I'll get tanked and run off to find Fenrir?"
"Not in the slightest. After spending some time with you and getting to know you, I don't think you could find him if you wanted to. I'm seriously surprised you can find your way back to your room each night." She stood up and headed for the curtain.
"Ouch." I opened my eyes and stared at her in shock. "Thought people in the medical industry were supposed to be all kind and helpful."
"Not when their patience with patients is at an all-time low. You have
nobody to blame but yourself for this one, and the only person you truly hurt was your friends. Especially Hiroki."
"Hiroki? He's used to my shenanigans."
She spun and gave me a look of utter hatred. Stepping toward me, I held up my hands thinking I was going to have to fend off an attack, but she just lowered her face closer to mine and whispered in my ear, "But he's not used to you forgetting his birthday." She straightened and let her words sink in.
My already broken heart just shattered. There wasn't a piece big enough left to fit in a thimble. I'd completely done it and gotten so self-absorbed that I decimated the one person who'd always been there for me and never, not once, let me down. I was a shit, scum, and didn't deserve to be on the same continent as him. No wonder he'd been so passive aggressively pissed at me all morning. I couldn't blame him, either. If he had ever forgotten about my birthday…
"He thinks it's his fault you slipped in the shower, you know. You should have seen him when I got there, pacing the floor, crying out in terror. He even threw up. He thought because he was angry with you, you stormed off and drank yourself stupid."
"That would be Hiroki." I choked back a sob.
"Don't worry. I calmly explained to him that you were stupid before you started drinking."
"Thank you." I actually meant it. Maybe Roki would listen to the school nurse and actually realize I wasn't worth a shit.
Rolling over, I pulled the blanket over my head and let the tears start falling. I was almost a little shocked that I even had any left.
"You going to wallow in self-misery? Or are you going to go show him how much he means to you and grow up, Kaede?"
I stuck my arm out from under the covers and waved it in the air. "The self-misery part," I mumbled from under the covers.
"I figured," she answered with a sigh, pulling open my curtain and leaving me there alone, like I wanted.
As soon as I heard the curtain close, I got up and opened the window by my bed as quietly as possible. The ancient wood frame didn't make it easy to be silent, but I managed. As soon as it was open, I shifted, letting the fox loose and leaping through the opening.
A Tail of Two Kitties: A Reverse Harem Academy Tail (The Fox and the Hounds Book 2) Page 12