by Stacey Lewis
“How do you expect me to answer that, Gabs? It’s not like I have a lot to compare him to.” Admitting it outloud only made me more self-conscious. She rolls her eyes, and before she can say what I know she’s thinking, I answer that question too. “That list you showed me … the one with all the different sizes, and the one where you crossed off over half of the options with a sharpie? Well, let’s just say he wouldn’t be a bit out of place if he visited Congo.”
She rolls onto her back on my bed and starts to giggle uncontrollably. “Oh. My. God. How did you not break your vagina?” I narrow my eyes and glare at her, but she ignores me. “Seriously! Did we not teach you to start small and work your way up?”
Her giggles bring Marie into the room, and as soon as she takes a seat, Gabby fills her in on our conversation. Why do I tell these two anything? I should be used to them ganging up on me by now, but I’m still so easily embarrassed, and that just makes it more fun for them.
Now that Marie’s joined her, Gabby tries to reign in her laughter, but she isn’t very successful. “Okay, so now that we know he wasn’t just big … he was huge … please tell me he knew how to use it.” I couldn’t miss the fluttering of her eyelids well she waiting impatiently for me to answer her.
Goosebumps formed all over my body at the memory of the mystery man. Did he know how to use his massive cock? God, yes he did. The mere memory of his thrust inside me, causes my body to quiver. Even if I had nothing to compare him to, the way he worked my body over would be something I would remember for the rest of my life.
Marie nods in agreement with Gabby, “That’s so true. A guy with a big dick who has no clue what he’s doing is just as sad as a guy with a tiny wiener.” I couldn’t help the eye-roll that I did. These two had no idea that kind of man I had been with, and he was a man, all man.
“All I’m going to say is he knew what he was doing.” Usually, I don’t keep any secrets from my two closest friends, but for some reason, I want to keep my encounter with Mr. Serious to myself. I probably won’t ever see him again, and knowing that, I want my night with him to belong only to me. For it to be our little secret.
“What was his name?” Marie narrowed her eyes, trying to read me. The conversation felt more serious then it had seconds ago. I nibble on my bottom lip trying to decide if I should tell them the truth. Will they even believe me? It was hard for me to even believe that I’d allowed myself to sleep with a man I didn’t even know the name of.
I look away from them both. There’s no way I can say the words and meet their eyes, so I gaze at the floor as I speak. “I don’t know.” My words are barely a whisper, but they’re both sitting so close they can’t not hear them. Blood rushes in my ears and I question for a second as silence settles over us if they did in fact hear me.
“Wait… You, fucked a guy but didn’t get his name?” Shock radiates from Marie, and for some reason I feel disappointed in myself. Had I made a mistake?
Gabby’s mouth pops open in disbelief, “I didn’t think you were going to actually fuck him without getting his name.”
Irritation blooms in my stomach. The fact that the two of them are judging me for something I’m sure they’ve both done in the past more than once hurts, but it also pisses me off a little. I know for a fact Gabby has hooked up with more than one guy whose name she didn’t know. She’s the queen of one-night stands, yet she’s giving me a look that says I’m a slut for doing it once.
There are so many emotions coursing through my body that I can’t sit still. Standing, I begin to pace back and forth in front of my bed, trying to calm myself down and think of something to say. I’m usually pretty good with words, but right now they’ve all deserted me. I don’t know what to say, or how to explain why I did what I did, and I shouldn’t have to try.
“Look,” I start, “I know, believe me, I know. Hooking up with some random guy isn’t smart. None of what I did last night was smart, but even though I didn’t know his name, it felt like I knew him.”
Even I’m astonished by my own words as I say them and it’s then that I notice them both staring up at me now, and I can clearly see the apology in their eyes. “Haven’t you ever met someone that you just clicked with?” I ask. Gabby shakes her head, but Marie nods sadly.
I know she understands what I’m going through because she had that kinda feeling once before. I still don’t know what happened with her and Derek, but it’s been almost two years and she’s not over him yet. Sometimes I think they’ll work it out, and then other times I think Marie would be better off with someone else.
“He was that guy for me.” I flop down on the bed, lying back to stare up at the ceiling with a sigh. “I couldn’t have asked for a better guy to lose my virginity to. Even if we both had too much to drink, he was perfect. Not knowing his name didn’t matter to me. It makes the moment we had together that much more perfect.” And I had never said such truer words before.
“Well how was it? Did he take care of you? We might not know his name, or who he is but we could track him down, if he did you wrong.” Marie laughs, her eyes softening, but her eyebrow lifting in warning. She’s serious though. She would hunt him down and beat his ass if he hurt me in any way.
“It was good. We screwed, cuddled, and I fell asleep for a few hours before slipping out of the hotel before he woke up.” Regret that I hadn’t left my number surged to life. I wanted to see him again. Hell I wanted to see him now and it had only been a few hours since I last seen him. What was he going to think when he got up in the next couple hours?
“I’m telling you Marie, the guy was sex on a stick. Dark, demanding and possessive. He had my body shaking with need, and he wasn’t even looking at me.” Gabby professed. “They literally eye-fucked for two hours before hooking up. It was like a sexual game of cat and mouse.”
Laughter erupted from deep inside me, “We didn’t eye fuck Gabby. I just felt drawn to him... He compelled me in a way no man ever had before.”
My two roommates share a look, and knowing they’re having some sort of silent conversation about me is the last straw. They don’t get it, they don’t understand, and I’m afraid they never will.
“You’ve been with one man, and you feel this way? Was his penis magic?” Marie jokes, and a tiny smile pulls at my lips.
“It felt that way.” I sigh once again, feeling as if I’m floating on cloud nine all over again.
“No rest for the wicked…” Gabby pokes, “You missed the work out this morning because of this guy, and you know what that means?” She winks, and I hope like hell she’s just teasing me. Buying lunch for these two is going to leave my already pitiful checking account that much more pitiful.
“Oh my gosh, whatever. Let me shower and I’ll take you asshole’s out for lunch.” I shove from the mattress, grabbing some clothes off my dresser, while the two of them sit back and watch.
“Alright A, well be here waiting when you get out.” Marie giggles, laying down on my bed as if it’s her own. Gabby chirps in with laughter and I flip them both off over my shoulder.
As best friends, they aren’t doing a very good job of being supportive or of convincing me that I shouldn’t try and find out who Mr. Serious.
Chapter Four
A Few Days Later
Ryker
I was a fucking mess, then again spending the entire weekend drowning yourself in Whiskey would do that to you. It didn’t help that my entire day went from controlled chaos, to out of control hot mess the second I stepped foot in my office.
I couldn’t actually believe what I was hearing when I walked into the board-room. Both of my asshole brothers were forcing me to get an assistant to help manage the workload for when Reed took off for the birth of his son. I wasn’t one bit amused by it, not even as Reed stared at me smiling, and Remy twirled a pen on his finger as if he didn’t care how pissed off at him I was.
“This is for your own good. You skipped out on the funeral and I can’t ha
ve you skipping out on the company while I’m gone. It’s business nothing else.” Reed insisted as if he was trying to fool himself into believing the crock of shit he was telling me.
“I didn’t skip out on the funeral.” I answer sighing, “I just wasn’t going to stand around and mourn the loss any longer than I had. Dad’s gone. What else do you want me to do?” Anger tinged my words.
Reed sagged down into one of the spinny rolly chairs and looked out over the Chicago skyline. He’d grown quiet now, and that kind of scared me. If he was quiet, he was thinking, and if he was thinking, while shit was going down.
“You know dad loved you too. You didn’t have to skip out on the dinner party after his funeral. We could’ve used your support.” Remy chimes in, practically pouring salt into the wound. He doesn’t sound mad, but he definitely sounds disappointed and just as I’m about to let guilt seep into my bones I shake it away.
“I didn’t want to be there celebrating at some dinner party when we lost the most important person in our lives.” That's the truth, the bottle of bourbon and the blonde bombshell whose name I never got more than made up for the grief I was feeling.
If only she were here now.
“I know you’re going through shit, probably far worse than Remy or I but I need you to pull your head out of your ass and take this assistant position serious.” My head spun at how fast the subject had changed. And he thought I was bipolar with my mood swings?
“I don’t need an assistant.” I growled. “It’s more of a hassle than it should be and I refuse to have some pain in the ass following me around while I try and get work done.” I could feel my molars grinding together. If they forced this, I wouldn’t make it easy for the woman they hired.
“You don’t need one now, but you will.” Remy announced, agreeing further with brother, which only enraged me more.
I rolled my eyes unable to hold back the insanity of these two any longer.
“The answer is no, and that’s final.” I was still reeling from the one night stand I had, had over the weekend. My emotions slightly unhinged due to my father’s death and the fact that I had let the woman walk straight out of my hotel room without even gathering any information from her. All I had was her memory and even that was a bit washed out after all the whiskey I had drank. I needed to make better choices, that much was certain.
“The answer is whatever the fuck I say.” Reed informed me like I was a small child, his eyes showing disappointment. It didn’t matter to me that he’d been running the company for a few months now, even before father’s death. What mattered to me was that he was trying to run me and that wasn’t going to happen.
Ryker James Winston wasn’t capable of being controlled.
“Hire her, him, whoever.” I stood shoving from the chair. I crossed the small space that separated us, my body pressing against his. A part of me wanted to fight him, to stir the pot, but another part of me, the part I suppressed all day long wanted to reach out and hug him. “Hire them and I will make them quit within the first hour. Zero fucks given Reed. If you push the issue I will push back.”
I stood my ground, my nostrils flaring. The thought of punching him in his smug ass face crossed my mind more than a few times in that moment.
Something was wrong with me. I was changing. The words my father had spoken to me a few days prior to his death ring out through my head… “Everyone experiences grief in a different way, and I don’t want it to change you son. Promise me you won’t let it change you.”
“Push back Ryker, but it’s still happening. I’m the CEO, your boss, everyone’s boss here and I have to do what is best for the company even if you don’t like it.” This was insanity at it’s finest, and Reed, and Remy didn’t care if they were poking the bear.
They want what they wanted. I growled, turning on my heels and walking towards the door, and out of it. They let me leave without another word said, and thankfully so because I wasn’t sure I could hold myself back from saying some else that would most likely be shitty.
Reed was such a fucking grown up now. He had Fallon, the woman of his dreams, a woman that he almost didn’t have because he was too stupid to realize it. He had a son on the way, and a big bright future. I had a bottle of whiskey, and a list of women to fuck.
Talk about life goals.
I entered my office and slammed the door behind me, the walls rattled with the surge of energy that flowed through them. Pent up aggression wasn’t really my thing and yet here I was pissed off, anger flowing through my veins.
Why did he have to die?
My fist landed against the maghony wood desk without much thought causing some of the contents to rattle and fall to the floor. I knew I wasn’t managing his loss very well, even if he had been preparing me for it for months.
I told him over and over again there was no way to prepare someone for death. I should’ve taken my own fucking advice. I sagged down into my office chair and logged onto the server, to access my emails.
“Whatever is going on with you, you need to get it together, and swallow it the fuck down.” Remy’s voice met my ears, and I lifted my eyes to the screen and to him instead. Looking at him one never have believed he was father’s son. He looked more like our mother, that he did our father.
Though he still held the Winston genes close to his heart, with a perfectly sculpted jawline, and angular features. As egotistical as it sounded us Winstons were hot enough to grace the covers of GQ Magazine if we wanted too.
“Great advice Rem, I’ll save that for next time. In the meantime, fuck off.” I barked. Neither Remy or Reed understood how badly father’s death consumed me. Then there was the mystery woman, the one I screwed, and but never got her name or number.
“Maybe you won’t confess it to Reed.” He started completely ignoring my comment and coming the rest of the way into the office and takes a seat in one of the chairs on the other side of my desk. “But you can’t lie to me. I know for a fact something deeper is going on here.” His grin was sincere and not made out of the need to be an asshole like my other brother, Reed.
“How do you do it?” I surprise even myself by asking the question.
“Do what? Move on?” Emotions tugged at my heart. I hated feeling vulnerable. I hated letting people know how I felt, because that showed weakness and weakness was something men didn’t show.
“Yeah…” I croaked, my throat feeling like a thousand razor blades were in it.
Remy shrugs, his eyes showing his sadness. “I’m not over it, Ry. I haven’t moved on … and neither has Reed. We want to be here for you, but we don’t know how to help you or how to make things better for you. You won’t talk to us, and without talking, we have no idea what’s going on in your head.”
That’s probably the most words he’s ever said to me at one time. Maybe they’re right and I am being selfish, but I can’t help the way I feel.
When Remy realizes I’m not going to respond, he sighs, shaking his head and standing. He comes around the desk and lays a hand on my shoulder, giving it a brief squeeze before releasing me. “Just, think about what we said, Ryker. You don’t have to go through all of this alone.” I nod in response, and he makes his way towards the door. Just before he leaves, he turns back to give me a small grin. “And, I think this assistant is going to be good for you.”
Chapter Five
Two Weeks Later
Ava
My stomach was in knots. I was wearing my best business suit, and a brand new pair of heels which were already killing my feet. I should’ve listened to Gabby when she told me to wear them grocery shopping, and out and about before deciding to wear them through an eight hour shift of work.
It also didn’t help that I was running ten minutes behind and I was starting my internship at Winston Industries today. I’d barely snagged the job as an assistant to one of the top men in the company and here I was fucking late. It’s bad enough they pushed me starting back two wee
ks. Now they’re probably just fire me.
I blew a lock of my blonde hair out of my face, hustling to the elevator before it closed. I had my purse, in my hand and a bunch of papers that a man named Reed had told me I needed to bring with me on my first day.
I eyed said paperwork as I stood in the stuffy elevator with a bunch of others that were headed to the top floor. For the most part everyone smiled, there faces full of happiness as you passed by them. I on the other hand was already miserable, my stomach churning, and on the verge of nausea, while my feet ached.
Way to go Ava. Way to fucking go.
A second later the elevator chimed, and the door opened onto the floor I needed and for a slight moment as I stepped over the elevator threshold and onto the office floor my thoughts slipped back to the mystery man I had given myself over to a month before. The pleasure he ignited deep inside me was nothing I could recreate, and believe me I had tried.
Still it was weird to be thinking of that moment as I was headed into my first day as an intern. Goosebumps caskated across my skin, and a shiver ran through me as I headed in the direction of the double glass doors ahead.
The office was quiet with a few people looking over their cubicles and up at me as I walked down the aisle. The place was very pleasant looking with big bright windows that let the light stream in, and it was clean and spacious.
All of those things were nice but didn’t matter if I didn’t get my ass to this Reed guy. Settling my eyes on the frosted glass doors ahead I march forward, trying to show determination in each stride. It isn’t until I reach the doors that I notice a woman stepping out from behind a desk that I hadn’t noticed until now.
“Hi. Welcome to Winston Industries. How can I help you?” I blinked, staring at the woman in front of me. She was breathtakingly gorgeous, with long dark brown hair, and piercing green eyes. She was glowing her cheeks showing a pink warmth, while her lips pulled up into a smile. Slowly my eyes racked down over her, and I discovered just why she was glowing.