The Summer of Secrets

by Tilly Tennant

  ‘I still don’t see what that has to do with the village,’ Cesca said.

  ‘She was Shay McArthur’s mother.’

  Cesca halted, staring at him. ‘You’re kidding!’

  ‘I would never joke about something so serious. So, you see, when the truth came to light, my brother, quite rightly, was vilified. Unfortunately, by association, so was I. Shay had never liked me much anyway, and the villagers were always going to take his side.’

  ‘But surely people aren’t that small-minded that they can hold you responsible for your brother’s crimes!’

  ‘We were never popular.’

  ‘I’m sure not everybody feels that way.’

  ‘I’ve yet to meet a villager who doesn’t.’

  Cesca raised her eyebrows. ‘I don’t think you meet many villagers at all these days, do you? Perhaps if you ventured down there you might have a pleasant surprise.’

  ‘It would certainly be a surprise.’

  ‘And if Shay’s mother broke the law along with your brother, how come everyone hasn’t ostracised him?’

  ‘I imagine because she was one of them, rather than one of us. It would have been assumed that she was an innocent who had somehow been coerced. And her death would have had the rather fortunate side-effect of eliciting sympathy for her in a way prison simply doesn’t do.’

  ‘What rot,’ Cesca said, and turned to see he was wearing a faint smile. ‘I wonder if Harper knows about this.’

  ‘One would assume she does.’

  ‘But she doesn’t shun you like everyone else. In fact, she’s friendly.’

  ‘Perhaps she’s more liberally minded than most.’

  ‘Maybe Shay hasn’t told her after all. He might be ashamed.’

  ‘It’s a possibility.’ He gestured to the road where a battered old Land Rover was parked. ‘Would you like me to drive?’ he asked.

  Cesca couldn’t help a smile. ‘I haven’t been in a Land Rover for years. Why not – it’ll be more fun than my little grey Toyota.’

  ‘Very well. And if you’ll permit me to drive you there, I think I know the perfect place to spend a pleasant hour.’

  ‘I’m more than happy to give it a go,’ she said. ‘As long as there’s a cold drink and a plate of chips, I’m in.’

  * * *

  Harper read the text message.

  Not coming over tonight after all. Knackered. Hope you don’t mind. X

  She stowed the phone in the pocket of her jeans. Any other evening she might have been annoyed at the idea of Shay brushing her off, but tonight it was a blessing. The doors to the tearoom were already locked and Kristofer was dragging a bursting bin bag out to the backyard as she switched off the lights. It might have been folly, given her irrational urges towards him, but surely she wasn’t so pathetic that she couldn’t control herself for an hour while they went to see Will Frampton? She was a responsible adult, after all.

  The wind had dropped and mellow evening sunshine bathed the valley. Kristofer had expressed a desire to walk to Silver Hill House, and with weather like this it seemed a shame not to indulge him. It was a good half an hour there and half an hour back, but as Shay was now not coming over, it didn’t really matter how long Harper was out.

  Pulling on a light jacket, she wandered outside to find Kristofer plying Terence with bits of leftover salad.

  ‘The others will get the idea he’s your favourite,’ she said with a smile.

  He turned to her with a sheepish grin. ‘I thought he was everyone’s favourite.’

  ‘He is,’ Harper said. She dropped her voice to a whisper. ‘Just don’t tell the others that.’

  Kristofer chuckled as he shared the rest of the salad with the other goats. And after one last fuss of Terence, who nuzzled his hand and gave a little bleat of approval, Kristofer went to wash his hands under the outdoor tap and they set off for the house over the hill.

  ‘You don’t mind walking?’ Kristofer asked.

  ‘Not on an evening like this,’ Harper said. ‘If the weather was always this good I’d walk all the time.’

  ‘I love to walk,’ he said.

  ‘But you’re all very outdoorsy, aren’t you?’ Harper said. ‘In Norway, I mean. You’re a nation of nature lovers, or so I’ve read.’

  He raised an eyebrow. ‘You’ve been reading about me? I’m flattered.’

  ‘Not about you in particular,’ she laughed. ‘I read it once somewhere – I forget where.’

  ‘We are very close to nature as a people,’ he said.

  ‘I bet it’s beautiful where you live.’

  ‘You should visit one day – you’d be welcome.’

  ‘I can’t see that happening any time soon. There’s far too much to do here. In fact, I haven’t had a holiday for over a year – basically since I took on the farm. But farming is like that – you can’t very well send your flock of sheep to the kennels. Not to mention the money I’d lose by closing the tearoom for any length of time.’

  ‘You’ll never take a vacation again?’

  ‘I suppose I will, eventually.’

  ‘What about a honeymoon when you get married? Surely your fiancé has arranged a trip for you?’

  ‘If he has, I don’t know about it. He’d have to get someone in to help Pip for a start while we were away, and if I’m honest, I wouldn’t be able to relax anyway knowing that I wasn’t here to oversee everything.’

  ‘Your farm is important to you.’

  ‘It saved my life; it means everything to me.’

  ‘I can see why you would want to be here. Can I ask how it saved your life?’

  She shook her head. ‘I’m having a nice time and I don’t want to spoil it by talking about an ex-boyfriend who treated me so badly that I was just about ready to end it all. My parents both died within six months of each other at around the same time as I finally managed to get away from him… I was a mess. If not for Pip and this place, I don’t think I’d be here.’

  ‘It sounds as if you had a very bad experience.’

  ‘I did, but I’m thankful I was able to move on. Being here on days like this reminds me of how much I have to be thankful for, and how much my life has changed.’

  ‘Life is precious and we must always be grateful for the little things that make it worthwhile.’ He looked down at her with a warm smile, and those alarm bells clanged in her ears again even as her heartbeat quickened.

  ‘I suppose you know that better than most… You know, because you escaped death.’

  ‘Sometimes I think the thunderstorm was more than just escaping death. Sometimes I feel it was the death of the old me and the birth of a new one. I value my life so much now where I once took it for granted, and I want to make the most of every minute.’

  ‘That makes so much sense,’ Harper said. ‘I’m not saying that people deserve to be hit by lightning but there are a few who would benefit from that lesson.’

  ‘I think the mortality rate would make it a severe form of therapy,’ he laughed.

  ‘Probably,’ Harper agreed. ‘Still, I think a lot of people are living as if they’re already dead, they’re living so little. It’s a shame. I mean, I’m not exactly living life in the fast lane but I’m trying to make what I do count.’

  ‘You matter a great deal to the people around you, I think,’ he said.

  ‘You think so?’

  ‘I see it now that I know you better. Your boyfriend is very lucky.’

  ‘Someone should tell him that,’ Harper said.

  ‘I do not think he would appreciate hearing it from me.’

  ‘Probably not,’ Harper laughed. ‘Did you hear from Cesca in the end?’ she added in a bid to steer the conversation away from her relationships. It felt like a topic that would lead her into trouble.

  ‘I managed to get a signal but she didn’t pick up. I’ve left her a message so I hope she will call back when she gets it.’

  ‘If not we’ll have to phone her again when we get back.’

&nbs
p; He nodded shortly, and they fell into companionable silence as they walked the path in the setting sun.

  * * *

  They buzzed again, but there was no reply on the intercom at the gate. Harper pressed her face to the railing and peered in.

  ‘It looks quiet, but then you never can tell. One person living in such a huge place is going to be pretty invisible, even if he is in. When I came up here before with Pip we walked around to the side gate and found him pottering in the garden.’ She turned to Kristofer. ‘Worth a go? It would be a shame to walk all the way up here and not get to speak to him, especially if he is in after all.’

  ‘I’ve enjoyed walking here with you regardless of whether we find Lord Frampton,’ he said.

  ‘Well… I have too, but, y’know…’ She turned her face back to the building so that Kristofer wouldn’t see how flustered she looked.

  ‘I’m happy to walk a little further. As you know where the other gate is, perhaps you’d like to lead the way?’

  Head down, Harper led what must have looked like a charge to the tree-shaded boundary wall that she’d walked the day she came here with Pip. But she dared not look him in the eye until she’d composed herself for fear of what she might do. She was aware of the swish of long grass that told her he was following. When she eventually plucked up the courage to turn and look, she saw that he was walking behind, his eyes fixed on the weathered brick of the old walls, from time to time reaching out a hand to touch them. Then he turned and their gazes met.

  ‘You can feel the history,’ he said, answering her silent question. ‘In the walls. They soak it up like a sponge, and if you touch them you can touch the years that have gone before. I like to imagine that I’m connecting with someone else who pressed their hand against this wall in this spot one hundred… two hundred years ago.’

  ‘I’ve always thought that,’ Harper said. ‘Isn’t that strange? When my parents would take me to castles and monuments as a child, I’d put my hand on the stones and imagine another child like me, a thousand years before, touching the same spot and imagine that I was connecting with their spirit. I suppose that’s why I like old things so much – furniture and knick-knacks. It’s sort of like bringing history back to life, isn’t it? Keeping alive the connection to the people who once owned them and loved them.’ She gave a self-conscious little laugh. ‘I’ve never told anyone that; they’d have thought I was bonkers.’

  ‘Perhaps,’ he said as he held her gaze. ‘But perhaps it is because we’re all connected to our ancestors on a level that is impossible to define, but by a tie that is more impossible to break, that many people feel the same way. But like you, they do not say it because they are afraid of others’ reactions. If more people embraced and understood our past, perhaps our present and our future would be shown more respect.’

  ‘I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you,’ she said, staring at him. But then she tore her eyes away and started to walk again, heat rising to her cheeks like a match being struck.

  ‘Is that good or bad?’ he said from behind her with a low chuckle.

  ‘I haven’t decided yet,’ Harper said, trying to sound nonchalant, almost irritated that he seemed to be so relaxed with what she felt was a situation charged beyond anything she could cope with. What did he think of her? Was he gripped by an irrational urge to grab her and press his lips to hers, as she was with him? Or did he merely find her a cute distraction to fill his time? And why did it matter so much? She forced herself to think of Shay, the man she was supposed to be marrying in a matter of months. She was promised to another and the thoughts of Kristofer that filled her head were foolish.

  They became silent; there was only the sound of Harper’s own breathing, seeming preternaturally loud in her ears, and the soft pad of their feet on a cracked old path carpeted by moss and faded blossoms. Two or three minutes passed in this way – Harper lost track, absorbed by her thoughts – and then they came upon the break in the wall that marked the hidden gate. Harper stopped and put her face to a gap in the ironwork and craned for a good look around the garden.

  ‘I can’t see anything,’ she said.

  Unaware that Kristofer had leaned over her to do the same, she turned abruptly to find his chest in her eyeline. And then he moved away, an inch at most, an apology on his lips, until their eyes met. Harper blinked, the world slowed, then Kristofer leaned in and kissed her.

  Her pulse roared in her ears like the rushing of a mountain stream, an explosion of desire in her loins, the world around her melting away, and all that remained was the feel of his hands in her hair and the fragrant warmth of his skin. Stop him, stop him, her conscience screamed, but her body wouldn’t listen. How could something this beautiful and natural be wrong? He kissed her as if he’d always kissed her, as if they’d been made to fit – tenderly, lightly, and yet simmering with passion. He could have taken her there and then, underneath the trees, the evening air caressing their naked skin, and she would have been powerless to stop him.

  When he finally pulled away, he searched her face, and his usual serenity was gone. He looked as confused as her – pained almost.

  ‘I did not know I was going to do that,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry.’

  Harper wanted to say it was alright. She wanted to tell him that she’d loved it; she wanted to tell him to do it again. But she couldn’t, because already things had gone too far. This could not happen, no matter how much she might dream otherwise.

  ‘It’s not your fault,’ she said, sliding into the gap behind them to get out of range. Better to put some physical space in the way of temptation. ‘I should have stopped you. It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s…’

  ‘I understand,’ he said.

  ‘I don’t think Will is in.’ Harper glanced at the gate. It didn’t matter if Will was in or not now, there was nothing else to do but abandon their quest. Being attracted to Kristofer, safe in the knowledge that it was no more than a silly crush was one thing, but to know he felt the same… that was dangerous. She had to get away before they both did something they regretted. And she would have to stay away. ‘I’d better get back to the farm. But don’t worry, I can take a shortcut across the fields and I’ll be there in no time.’

  There was no shortcut, but she hoped that it would put him off taking the same route.

  ‘You wish to walk alone – I understand.’

  ‘It’s not that,’ she said quickly. ‘I’m sure you have things to get home to as well. After all, you need to speak to Cesca for a start.’

  ‘I do,’ he said. ‘Will I see you tomorrow? You need my help?’

  Harper shook her head, forcing a carefree smile. ‘You know what; you’ve worked unpaid for me too long and it’s not fair. You have a living to earn, and you’ve been fantastic, but please don’t worry about coming for the rest of the week. I’ll manage, and Shay might pop in to lend a hand. Pip said she might come back early too so…’

  He gave a short nod and her gaze went down to where the sun glinted at the entrance of the tunnel of trees, the place where the real world lay in wait. She couldn’t look him in the eye for fear that what she found there would break all her resolve.

  ‘But I’m sure I’ll see you around with Cesca,’ she added. ‘So… goodbye and thanks for everything.’

  Without waiting for a reply, she turned to make her way to the road. She had no idea if he followed in her steps as she walked, but she didn’t dare turn to see. She kept on walking, tears burning her eyes and regret weighing down her feet.

  Chapter 26

  Cesca clambered from the seat of Will’s old Land Rover, laughing at her own clumsiness as she snagged her jacket sleeve on the door handle.

  ‘And I haven’t even had a proper drink,’ she said. ‘Imagine me trying to get out of your car with a bottle of wine inside me.’

  Will sat at the steering wheel, the engine idling as he smiled at her. ‘I think I’d like to see that,’ he said.

  ‘It’s not pretty, hones
tly.’ She leaned back into the car. ‘I’ve had a lovely time; thank you so much for surprising me. I was expecting a microwave meal for one tonight, and instead I’ve had cordon-bleu cooking and wonderful company; I could cope with those sorts of surprises all the time.’

  ‘I’ve enjoyed it immensely too,’ he said. For a moment, she wondered if he would lean across the seat and kiss her. But he straightened up and looked ahead, reaching for the handbrake in readiness to leave.

  ‘I’ll wait to hear from you next week,’ he said. ‘About the find, that is. I expect you’ll have some news for me then?’

  Her smile faded as she faltered. Next week? He didn’t want to tell her what a fantastic time he’d had, how much he’d loved her company, how he wanted to see her again and how he hoped things between them might develop? No. He was simply going to wait to hear from her next week about the find. How could she have got it all wrong? She suddenly wished that the last few hours had never happened. God… how bluntly she’d sent signals over supper… she must have made him feel so uncomfortable. Perhaps his invitations to dinner had all been nothing more than courtesy; perhaps he was treating her in the same way he might a business associate to keep them on side.

  And suddenly all was clear. Had she been that stupid? He was courting her to get some sway over her decision. Perhaps it was her own fault to be slapped in this way now. All evening she’d been tussling with her conscience, knowing that she needed to tell him about the developments at the British Museum, to ready him for the idea that neither reward money nor family jewels were likely to come to him. But they’d been having so much fun that she hadn’t been able to do it.

  ‘I hope so,’ she said stiffly. ‘Thanks again for dinner.’