Sitting up, she dropped from the bed and pulled on a dressing gown. There was no private bathroom here, only the shared one at the end of the hall, a far cry from the luxury en-suite at home. Luckily she was currently the only guest at the Rising Sun so at least there was no danger of bumping into someone on the way there or back and having to make small talk. It would have been easy to lie staring at the ceiling all day, but that wasn’t going to achieve anything; the only thing to do was force herself to get up, then to wash, dress and go downstairs… baby steps that would be the start of getting her life back on track. Perhaps a life she would no longer recognise, but if she was going to prove herself worthy of access to Josh then she had no choice.
The water pressure in the shower was sporadic and unpredictable, though Dave the landlord had warned her that getting water up to the top of such an ancient building without disrupting the old beams and walls too much was a miracle of modern engineering in itself so she shouldn’t expect too much from the end result. But at least it was warm, and as she stood under it and let the spray wash over her, she almost felt it could wash away her stress. The lifting of that burden, even for a short while, gave her time to think, to reflect on the events of the past few days and to consider her options for the future.
Being unable to contact Greg didn’t help much in those matters. What mood was he in now? Forgiving? Resolute? Hateful? Despairing? And if he wouldn’t talk to her, what could she do about any of that? Had he been to see Harper as he’d vowed to do? If he hadn’t yet, would it do Allie any good to go and see Harper first? Perhaps Greg would see it as a positive attempt to make amends. Or perhaps he’d be irritated by what he might see as an empty platitude – too little too late.
She could message Shay and perhaps she’d get an update on the situation that way, but messaging Shay somehow didn’t seem like the smartest next move, given their history, her inability to resist him and how it might look to Greg if he found out. Though she’d all but blown it, what she wanted more than anything was one more chance, however slender, to talk Greg round. They’d been making progress before, hadn’t they? If she could get him to forget her mistake in not telling Harper, get him back to that place, then they still had a chance, didn’t they? So, what did that mean? Where did she go from here?
Turning off the shower, Allie stepped out and wrapped herself in one of Dave’s guest towels. It had that peculiar odour of linen stored for many months. But it was fluffy, wrapping her in a warm safe place as she stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She couldn’t get Greg to talk to her and she couldn’t contact Shay. Who did that leave?
There was only one task she needed to do today, as far as she could see, and that was to bite the bullet and see Harper Woods.
* * *
Harper drained her third cup of coffee. Beyond the kitchen she could hear the low murmur of customers in the tearoom where Pip had taken charge, insisting that Sunday morning would be quieter and as it was only half a day she could manage. Harper had argued that she wanted to work, but Pip wouldn’t hear of it. Harper had held the fort while Pip went off to get her life on track with Esther, and now Pip was going to do the same for her best friend. In the end, it had been easier not to argue, but sitting at the table drinking coffee and wallowing in self-pity wasn’t really the best way to get over Shay. She needed to be busy, to immerse herself in the day-to-day running of her home and business to remind herself that there was still good reason to get up in the morning. She’d been down this road before and had nearly lost the plot for overthinking it. Better to face things head-on and deal with them than hide away. But Pip had been so earnest that she hadn’t been able to refuse her offer, vowing to sneak into the café at some point during the morning and quietly get stuck in.
But as she took the mug to wash it, Pip’s voice came from the doorway.
‘You won’t believe who’s just turned up.’
Harper was about to ask when Pip jumped in with the answer.
‘Only bloody Allie Wicklow. She wants to talk to you. Shall I get rid of her?’
‘What do you think she wants? Do you think she knows what happened here yesterday with Greg and Shay?’
‘She wouldn’t say – only that she wanted a word with you. I told her you weren’t available but she said it was important.’
Harper offered no reply. It would be easy to avoid the conversation, but in a village this small they were bound to run into one another at some point and perhaps it would be easier if they’d cleared the air. Harper bore her no ill-will and long-term grudges had never been her thing – as far as she was concerned Allie had been taken in by Shay just as she had. And from what Greg had told them the day before, it sounded like Allie had as many regrets as she did.
‘You’re not seriously thinking of seeing her?’ Pip spoke into the silence.
‘Could seeing her really make things any worse than they already are?’
‘I wouldn’t put it past her.’
‘But I will have to face her at some point. Better to get it over with now.’
Pip frowned to show her disapproval but moved from the doorway to allow Harper access to the main part of the café, where Allie stood at the counter, chewing her nails and staring absently at the fields outside the glass walls. She looked pale, her usually glamorous waves scraped back and limp, her scrubbed, make-up-free face making her look younger and more vulnerable than she normally did. It was clear to Harper that she was suffering.
‘You wanted me?’ Harper asked.
Allie nodded. ‘I’m sorry to turn up like this but I thought if I called ahead to say I was coming—’
‘I wouldn’t see you,’ Harper finished. ‘Maybe not. But you’re here now, and if you want to talk about what I think you want to talk about, then I suppose you’d better come through to the back where it’s private.’
Pip had followed Harper through and as Allie nodded and made to do as she was bid, Pip eyeballed her before turning to Harper.
‘You only need to shout if you need me,’ she said, her disapproving gaze returning to Allie as she spoke.
Harper touched her arm. ‘I’m sure it’ll be fine, but thanks. You’ll be OK out here for a while?’
‘I told you I could manage so stop worrying about it.’
‘I know. Humour me, eh?’
Harper beckoned Allie to follow her into the kitchen where she gestured towards the stools at the breakfast bar. ‘You want something to drink?’
Allie shook her head.
‘You’re still staying over at the Rising Sun?’
At this Allie’s eyes widened. ‘You know?’
‘We saw you arrive the other day. And then we had our little visit from Greg.’
‘Oh…’
‘I know everything, Allie. I know about you and Shay, and I know Greg has asked you to leave.’
‘Greg told me he was coming to see you but I hoped…’
‘I would have found out sooner or later.’
‘Not that,’ Allie said quickly. ‘It would have been better for you to hear it from me than Greg, that’s all. I know that now but I couldn’t bring myself to come. I’m so sorry… I’ve ruined everything, I know.’
Harper let out a ragged breath. ‘If not you it would have been someone else. If anything you’ve done me a favour by saving me from a doomed marriage. I’m only sorry that it’s ruined yours…’ She paused. ‘You’re not together? You and Shay, I mean – you’re not together now?’
Allie shook her head. ‘He never loved me.’
‘Maybe he never loved either of us. In some ways, it might have been easier to accept if he had loved you. I mean, you can’t help who you fall in love with and there would have been happiness in the future for one of us. This way feels like such a waste; Shay ruined all our lives, and for what?’
‘For a while I imagined I loved him, but…’
‘He has a way of bringing that out in people. I don’t think for a minute he’ll be on his own for long, but I pity the poor co
w who ends up with him.’ Harper gave a thin smile. ‘He ought to come with a government health warning.’
‘Shay McArthur – bad for your heart,’ Allie said, the spectre of a smile about her lips too. But it faded in the same second it had appeared. ‘You must hate me.’
‘It may surprise you to hear that I don’t – not one bit. I feel sorry for you; you’ve lost more than I have.’
‘I’ve lost everything that ever mattered,’ Allie acknowledged. ‘Quite simply, I’ve just lost. That’s it; full stop.’
‘There’s no reconciliation to be had with Greg?’ Harper asked.
‘He won’t answer my calls or texts. I don’t know… We’ll have to talk about Josh, of course, but as for us…’
Harper recalled Greg’s candid admissions the day before once Shay had left. He still loved Allie and she still loved him. Surely it was a crime for two people who loved each other to force themselves apart in this way, particularly when that meant breaking up a family too. But was it Harper’s place to try to set things right? Perhaps it wouldn’t be appreciated by either camp – at least not while their wounds were so raw.
Chapter 31
Harper scrolled through the text messages that had arrived during the morning. All from Shay, all unopened. No doubt empty apologies, pathetic excuses and – knowing him – the odd recrimination. He’d never been able to accept the blame for anything, and there was no reason for him to start now. But there was also a lone text from Cesca.
It might be a good idea to show Will’s vase to someone.
It was an odd kind of message, and not something Harper had the time or inclination to worry about now. Pip had been rather more curious, but that had soon been forgotten when Harper had unveiled her plan to help Allie.
‘Are you completely mental?’ Pip squeaked as they switched off the tearoom lights and left it for the day. ‘You want to do what?’
‘She’s in a terrible state and it’s not her fault.’
‘She shagged your fiancé!’
‘But we all know how persuasive he can be. Like I said to her, if it hadn’t been her it would have been someone else. Better that I found out now than later, and she’s lost a lot more than me in the end. I’ll bet she’s actually quite sweet when you get to know her.’
‘The stress must be pickling your brain.’
‘Maybe,’ Harper said with a faint smile. ‘But it would make me feel better to at least offer some help. What’s the point in us both being miserable? Maybe something good can come out of this.’
‘Or maybe she could screw you over a second time. She’s made her bed – let her lie in it.’
‘Even if that bed is in the rafters of the Rising Sun?’
‘She landed herself there.’
‘Greg threw her out and she doesn’t deserve that.’
‘What else was he supposed to do with her?’
‘She’ll run out of money soon and then what?’ Harper pulled a pack of sausages from the fridge. Her appetite was almost non-existent right now but it made sense, somehow, to carry on as normally as possible. When they closed the tearoom on a Sunday, they always had a belated Sunday breakfast of sausages, bacon and hash browns. It had become a lovely little tradition, and it seemed only right to do that today no matter how crappy she felt. The one notable break from that tradition, of course, was that Shay wouldn’t be making his usual appearance to share it. ‘Would you really want to see her out on the street?’
‘She’s got family, hasn’t she?’
‘I don’t think she wants to tell them just yet. Besides, it’s hard to go to your parents and tell them that the father of your child has thrown you out of the family home – that’s a recipe for all-out war that she probably doesn’t need or want. I expect she wants to get things a bit straighter before she goes to her parents. And I know her parents live outside Cerne Hay and being there would take her further from Josh.’
Pip shook her head as she reached into a cupboard for the frying pan. ‘Don’t I get a say in this?’
‘You know you do – that’s why we’re talking about it now. I wouldn’t do anything unless you were OK with it.’
‘So if I say no that makes me the baddie and you the saint?’ Pip arched an eyebrow.
Harper smiled. ‘You said it, not me.’
‘God almighty,’ Pip groaned. ‘What did I do to deserve you?’
‘Is that a yes?’
‘No. It’s a we’ll talk it through over breakfast.’
* * *
Dave was on the line when Allie picked up the guest phone. It was hardly going to be anyone else, and yet her hope plummeted at the sound of his voice. More than anything else, she wanted to hear Greg’s.
‘You’ve a couple of visitors down in the bar,’ he said and promptly put the phone down.
With no elaboration and no chance to question him further, Allie had no choice but to go down to the bar and see who wanted her. She made her way down the twisting back stairway to a side door that led into the bar, not wild with curiosity about her surprise visitors, but tired and defeated. Curiosity was something she used to feel, but that was a long time ago.
Dave was restocking the pint glasses and nodded vaguely in the direction of a table by the window. Allie turned to see Harper and Pip there, watching her with expectant expressions.
‘You?’ Allie asked. ‘You want to talk to me?’
‘Come and sit down,’ Harper said. ‘It won’t take a minute.’
Allie did as she was asked, a million thoughts now racing through her mind. What was this? Had Harper changed her mind and come to tear a strip off her? Did they want to twist the knife that was already lodged firmly in her heart? If they’d come to do that then they’d had a wasted journey – things were about as bad as they were ever going to get.
‘It’s not ideal for you, staying here I imagine?’ Harper asked.
‘I doubt it would be ideal for anyone,’ Allie replied carefully.
‘Exactly. So Pip and I thought… well, we have space at the farm. We thought it might be good for you to come and stay with us. Just until you get on your feet.’
‘What?’ Allie glanced from Harper to Pip, who simply nodded. ‘But that’s…’
‘Obviously, there’s no pressure to accept the offer. Equally you wouldn’t be putting us out at all. If you can fend for yourself then one more bedroom with an occupant is no hassle for me. And don’t worry about money because I don’t want any.’
‘But why would you? I mean…’
‘I know. But I’ve thought a lot about what’s happened, and my opinion now is no different than what I told you earlier today: Shay hurt us both, and the only person who came out of this unscathed was him. We’re the injured parties, and we can help each other out. If we’re at war, then he wins. Us girls have to stick together. Right?’
Allie shook her head. ‘I couldn’t—’
‘Yes, you could. It’s not as hard as you think to say yes. I’d sleep a lot easier at night knowing you weren’t still here. It must be costing a fortune too. There’s no point in either of us suffering for what Shay did.’
Allie turned to Pip. ‘And you don’t mind?’
Pip shot a glance at Harper that spoke of a heated discussion on the matter in private. But she turned back to Allie and forced a smile.
‘I think Harper’s argument makes perfect sense. Show some solidarity in the face of adversity and teach that bastard he doesn’t always win. In fact, I’d love him to turn up so I could see the look on his face when he found out that you two had made friends instead of falling apart without him; it’d be brilliant.’
‘I don’t know what to say.’ Allie’s hands twisted together beneath the table, her wedding ring smooth against her fingertips. There had to be a catch.
‘It’s easy,’ Pip said. ‘You either want to give it a go, in which case that’s cool, or you don’t, and that’s a choice we’ll respect… right, Harper?’
‘Absolutely.’ Harper nodded. �
�It’s entirely up to you. All we wanted to do was extend the hand of friendship, let you know that you’re not hated by us – far from it. We’re in the same boat in so many ways, but at least I still have my own place and financial independence… I can’t imagine what it must be like for you without either of those.’
‘I suppose it makes me more pathetic that I haven’t got any financial independence,’ Allie said, the merest hint of bitterness in her tone now.
‘You probably never thought you’d need it,’ Harper said. ‘We’re all a little guilty of thinking that way from time to time – don’t beat yourself up over it. It doesn’t make you less of a woman to have been dependent on Greg and find yourself at sea now; it makes you a victim of circumstances, just like we’re both victims of circumstances in the way Shay played us. I don’t think you’re any more pathetic for that than I was for believing Shay loved me.’
‘He always wanted you over me,’ Allie said.
‘He wanted what he thought I could give him. He never wanted me.’
‘I don’t know how you’re taking it so calmly,’ Allie said.
Harper gave a vague shrug. ‘There’s no point in taking it any other way.’
Allie’s gaze went to the window. This was an incredible offer – more than she deserved and probably far more generous than she would have made herself had the tables been turned. What did that say about her? What did it say about Harper, who was really the only innocent party in this whole mess and yet had been the most magnanimous? In a different life, maybe they’d have been good friends – Allie liked to think so.
‘You’re sure it wouldn’t be weird… me staying with you?’ Allie asked.
‘Oh, without a doubt it would be weird,’ Harper said, smiling. ‘But I’m willing to give it a go if you are. You never know…’ she added, ‘Greg might come to take you home in a few days.’
Allie tried to smile, but it hardly bothered her lips at all. There was one certainty in all of this: Greg was most definitely not going to come for her.
The Summer of Secrets Page 28