"But the converse is also true," Nick said contemplatively. "I was really close to my sister Tessa. I was devastated when she died."
"Yes, I know. Patricia was pretty broken up about it too," Brigid whispered. "I met Tessa once. Patricia came to collect me from school I was about ten. I had gotten into trouble again over some fight or other. Tessa was in the car. She looked at me and smiled when I went into the car pouting and complaining that it was the other person who started the fight. Tessa had the sweetest laugh. She said to Patricia that it was definitely the other person's fault."
Nick laughed. "Was it?"
"Nope." Brigid grinned. "I started all the fights then."
"I can just imagine you as a little firebrand."
Brigid nodded. "It all evened out when I was in my teens. I was in non-medicated therapy for years."
"I wish I'd met you before Thomas," Nick said and then paused. He wanted to know why she had reduced herself to an escort. Did she enjoy sleeping with various men for money?
Brigid's breath hitched in her chest. Nick was looking at her with a load of questions in his eyes.
She couldn't react. She wanted to tell Nick that she was not really Thomas' girlfriend; she was just paid to role-play. But their relationship over the last few days had shifted subtly. Thomas was waiting for her to give him the go-ahead to make the whole situation real and she was staying at his house.
"But," Nick said, "that's not true. I wish I met you long before..." He was going to say before she became an escort but he bit his tongue. Brigid had no idea that he knew way more about her than he should.
Brigid sighed. "If you met me before what would you do?"
"It's not what I would do. It's what would happen. You would have never become involved with my cousin or anyone else," Nick whispered. "I think you and I would have probably been married by now."
Brigid gasped. "Nick..."
"This feeling," Nick stared directly in her eyes, "is a once in a lifetime thing. I have been around long enough to know that this sort of chemistry between the two of us is the stuff made of dreams. Surely, I have never felt this way before and I probably never will with someone else. When I saw you the first time it clicked. My mind said, she is different, cue the violins, cue your favorite Roberta Flack song."
"Which one?" Brigid asked hoarsely.
"The first time ever I saw your face." Nick tucked a strand of her hair behind her ears.
The atmosphere between them was fraught, full of vibrations that skimmed along her nerve endings. Brigid swallowed. "You know that the second verse of that song is the first time ever I kissed your mouth..."
Nick moved closer to her until their nose tips were almost touching. "I know, and we shouldn't because this is never going to work between us."
Lashes lowered, Brigid focused on his mouth and the tip of her tongue snaked out to moisten her dry lower lip. Never in all her life had she been so shamelessly eager to feel a man's mouth on hers.
He lowered his lips to hers. It was her first true kiss and it blew Brigid away. His mouth was hard and hot.
She opened her mouth and he plundered the tender, moist interior with his tongue in a very sexual onslaught. He made her want more, he made her want so much more. She couldn't move if she wanted, except to move closer to him. Something had shifted between them; she was more in charge of the kiss than he was.
Nick was the one that pulled away slightly.
He pulled in a ragged breath. "No, Brigid."
Brigid closed her eyes. Her heart was racing like she had just taken a sprint.
Nick pulled away completely and muttered, "This can't work."
"Yes," Brigid said. Her voice was croaky and sounded ill-used. "You are a Benedict. I am a nobody who doesn't even know her own father or have a posh family background."
"No." Nick got up, looking at her strangely. "You are my cousin's girlfriend..." And you sleep with men for money. He left that unsaid but he felt a sickening lurch somewhere in his heart region when he thought about it. He had been this close to forgetting that little bit of information about her.
"It would never work between us," he forced himself to say. "Because I do not share."
Brigid got up too. She knew the real reason had nothing to do with sharing; it had everything to do with the disparity of their backgrounds. "You are right, it wouldn't work." She walked up the stairs, her feet wobbly.
Nick watched her go and groaned. It was going to be a long, long weekend and he shouldn't have kissed her.
Chapter Thirteen
Thomas' party Saturday night was a washout. Thomas was still laid up in bed with Harvey attending to him; he had all but set up camp for his friends in the living room. The rain was pouring out of the skies in bucket-like determination. Brigid was so bored with her own company that she had visited Sonia at her cottage, but Sonia had a visitor in the form of Geoff and they barely noticed that she was there, so taken were they with each other and their card game.
Brigid rolled her eyes and braved the rain to go and sit in the dining room for supper. She was famished. She didn't want to see Nick so she avoided the common areas all day. She had ordered breakfast by room service, and she hadn't been hungry for lunch but now her stomach was growling loudly and uncomfortably.
She was out of luck when she went to the dining room area. It was dark except for a lone figure sitting at one of the tables and looking out at the water pouring down from the thatched roof.
She paused. The person had Nick's profile. She knew it was him too, because her pulse started that merry dance that it did when he was around. She was conflicted about staying alone with him. She could eat a snack in her room. There were nuts and apples and a biscuit. She could do well with that.
"Hungry?" Nick asked her loud enough so she could hear through the roaring of the rain on the cabin roof.
"Yes." Brigid stiffened.
Nick got up and stood directly in front of her. He was freshly shaven and he smelled good.
Brigid inhaled raggedly before she answered, "Starving actually."
"We could go to the town and get some jerked chicken at the marina. There's a lovely restaurant there."
Brigid thought about saying no but she liked spending time with him. Besides, she was hungry.
"Okay. Let’s go." Nick took her delay in responding as a yes.
"Shouldn't you tell Thomas that you are going?" Nick stopped and looked at her appreciatively.
She was in a red dress, one of her better buys. Red was flattering against her complexion. Brigid was happy that she had dressed up to come to dinner. She had also allowed her kinky curly hair to go loose. It was tamer than most days but looked a little wild. Just the way she liked it.
"No." Brigid shook her head. "He's sleeping. He had a rough day but Harvey said he's getting better."
Nick nodded. "Okay, then let’s go."
*****
They drove slowly down the hill, past San San and toward the Errol Flynn Marina. Nick turned on radio and Brigid shifted uncomfortably when she heard the song that came on. The First Time I Ever I saw Your Face. It brought back the kiss in stark, Technicolor focus. She had been trying not to think about that kiss all day. Not that she had succeeded.
She looked over at Nick. "Seriously?"
"Coincidence," Nick said grimly. "I am a big Roberta Flack fan. I carried the CD to keep me company when I was driving over.
They listened to the track in silence and Brigid breathed out when the song ended. She was especially tense about the third verse, ‘the first time ever I laid with you.’ Her imagination was running wild.
She could imagine herself and Nick naked on white sheets, staring into each other’s eyes. The scene was so vivid she closed her eyes tight, trying to remove it.
Unfortunately, the next song was Set the Night to Music by Roberta Flack and Maxi Priest.
She didn't realize she was humming to the song until Nick cleared his throat and looked at her pointedly. She smiled and
snuggled down into the car seat.
"You are the one who put it on," she said, grinning. "It is a great song."
"But highly inappropriate for us," Nick said, frowning. "Since you are Thomas' girl and all. I am guessing if he wasn't sick you guys would be setting the night to music right now. It's the night for lovers after all."
"You sound so bitter about it." Brigid forced herself to tease him.
"Maybe I am bitter," Nick said. "But life is full of curve balls and sometimes things do not work out the way you plan."
"You said we wouldn't work," Brigid reminded him. "Even if I wasn't your cousin's girlfriend, you are a Benedict. Benedicts only date and marry people from their own social class."
Nick glanced at her. "So you think I am some kind of bourgeoisie and you are a commoner?"
"Something like that..." Brigid nodded.
Nick grinned. His white teeth flashed at her and he turned his eyes back to the road. "You need to get rid of that chip on your shoulder, Brigid Manderson. If my family's only basis for seeing other people was the other person's status, I doubt that their marriages would last as long they do. As far as I can see, all the people in my family marry because of compatibility with their chosen spouse, not status. As a matter of fact," Nick turned into the marina, "the only deal breaker I can see for me not dating a woman is if she is a lawbreaker, if she smoked or did drugs or was a prostitute or escort or general gold-digger... " He looked at her grimly.
"And even if I found out that she did those things in the past, I might... just might... consider dating her or marrying her anyway, if I loved her enough to look past all of that. If I was convinced that she was the girl for me."
He broke eye contact with Brigid, who was frozen rigid with that speech. Prostitute. Escort. Gold-digger. She would be all of the above if she got together with Thomas.
"Come on. You must be as hungry as I am." Nick grabbed a large umbrella, exited the vehicle and opened Brigid’s door for her to come after him.
Brigid stepped down from the vehicle. The water was falling around them and making patterns on the umbrella, which reflected on their faces.
They stood looking at each other for a while. There were several unspoken words between them. Brigid was tempted to confess that she was an escort but she held back.
After that then what? She was still homeless and jobless and if she broke her contract with Thomas she would have to pay him back. She didn't have that kind of money. She was stuck in her situation now whichever way she looked at it. She just had to stay put for the next four weeks.
She swallowed and looked away from Nick.
*****
The rain had slowed to a drizzle by the time they finished eating. Brigid realized how easy Nick was to talk to. She found herself telling him about her days at Magnolia House and then she confessed that she really wanted to know who her father was.
"It's a thing with me." She swallowed; she looked out at the sea and then back at Nick. "An obsession, really. The more I push Sonia about it, the more she holds back, as if it is some major secret. I mean I really, really, really want to know."
Nick nodded. "I can imagine that I would want to know too if I were in your position."
"It's the great mystery in my life," Brigid said and then grinned. "Tell me about you. Do you have any great mystery in your life?"
"What do I want to know? Nick asked cupping his chin and looking at her warmly. "I guess recently I have a fascination with my aunt. I have always been fascinated with her but lately I am even more so. I guess I have more time on my hands than usual. I am the only one she talks to or trusts."
"Ooh." Brigid grinned. "Sounds wrong. Which one of them?"
Nick chuckled. "Let me clarify quickly, my sick aunt. Her name is Helen. You might have heard Patricia talk about her."
"No, not really," Brigid said. "We just know that she is the Benedict secret. Patricia never talks about her; she never came to any of the family parties we were invited to."
"She has a mental illness," Nick said. "She has been misdiagnosed for several years. Nobody really knows what's wrong. There are various theories, though, and that is the mystery for me. I want to know what is wrong, so that by some chance I can make it better."
"Aw." Brigid's eyes sparkled when she looked at him. "The caring thing just oozes out of you, doesn't it? You must be the doctor everyone wants to go to."
"I hope not," Nick smiled. "I wouldn't mind if my specialty was unnecessary. People see me after they have gotten a real scare with their heart muscle."
"Why specialize in cardiology, though?" Brigid asked.
"Because of Tessa," Nick said. "She was born with a heart defect. My parents were nervous about having any other children before I was born because they knew that Tess was on borrowed time. Growing up I had this dream of fixing my sister. Medicine was the next logical step."
"So, you are the fixer." Brigid smiled softly. "I bet you are attracted to women who need fixing."
Nick laughed. "Actually, no. I have never seen myself that way."
"Tell me about you then," Brigid said eagerly. "Girlfriends. Childhood. Favorite color. That sort of thing."
Nick looked at her seriously. "Then this would feel like a date."
"Isn't it?" Brigid asked just as seriously.
Nick sighed. He didn't answer. When he spoke he avoided her question altogether. "My favorite color is red, the exact shade of red you are wearing right now."
He looked at her skin, a glint in his eye. "And my favorite food is milk chocolate, smooth and rich like your skin."
Brigid forced herself not to flush but she was feeling hot and bothered by his intense look.
"Girlfriends. Not many. I had a two-year relationship with a woman who was twelve years older than me. She was a fellow doctor, my supervisor when I was doing my residency. We broke up when she said her biological clock was ticking loud enough to wake the dead. I was in my early twenties and not quite ready for the kind of permanency that she wanted. Our relationship ended on a Thursday and she got married to someone else the Thursday after. It was the craziest thing. I was heartbroken.
Brigid chuckled. "Did you love her?"
"I thought so at the time." Nick smiled. "After her I have had only short relationships. Believe it or not, the Benedict name is sort of a magnet to women. I never know if I am liked because of it, and then there is the doctor thing. People also seem to find that impressive."
"I believe it," Brigid said. She sipped a little bit of her grapefruit-flavored soft drink. "I think that's why I wanted to be a doctor when I was little. I wanted respectability."
"And you are not respectable now?" Nick asked her seriously.
"I don't think so. My generational resume is bad. My mother is…er…" she cleared her throat. "How should I put this delicately…she dabbled in the oldest profession. I don't know my father.
"I figured that becoming a doctor would make people to overlook that. But after doing the sciences I realized that I loved it and I wanted to help people, especially children…just like I was helped."
Nick ran his fingers slowly over the top of his glass. "So is that why you are with Thomas? To help you pay for med school?"
Brigid stiffened and shook her head. "I don't want to talk about why I am with Thomas."
"You don't love him, do you?" Nick asked. "This relationship is not based on the finer feelings, is it?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Brigid snapped. The magic between them had worn away. The bubble had burst.
"Okay, fine. Let’s go." Nick went to the front to settle the bill and Brigid waited for him at the passenger side of the car. He strode toward her and instead of opening the door as she had anticipated, he cupped her chin.
"You don't have to sacrifice your self-worth to achieve your dreams," he said cryptically. He gave her a hard kiss and then opened the door.
The brief kiss left her shaken and unsettled.
Chapter Fourteen
Brigid d
idn't see Nick on Sunday. He left early that morning. Thomas was still very weak and out of sorts. He offered Brigid and Sonia his car for them to go to St. Mary on Monday. His friend Harvey took him back to Kingston.
"When you get back to Kingston everything will be different between us," Thomas had promised her weakly.
A cold chill had run over her spine when she thought about what he meant. She was going to have to make up her mind about him one way or the other. When she got in the car with Sonia, she mulled over the thought, worrying it to death.
Should she or shouldn't she?
Sonia was driving them toward St. Mary and was in a pensive mood. Brigid had never seen her so subdued.
"It was a wet weekend, wasn't it?" Brigid said to make conversation. The atmosphere in the car was heavy and depressing.
The sky was bright and sunny, as if it mocked the gray skies of the past weekend, and only highlighted how somber Sonia was.
"It was." Sonia smiled. "Geoff was nice company, though. You know, he owns a yacht. I have never met a guy who owns a yacht and apart from his obvious wealth, he is genuinely nice—and single."
Brigid looked across at her. "You like him?"
"Yes." Sonia grimaced. "But it wouldn't work. It was a nice flirtation while it lasted but he knows my family. I couldn't date anyone who knows my family. There is the family secret to consider."
"Oh, the big secret that everyone in your family but me knows," Brigid said ruefully. "But then again maybe I am not your family. Maybe I am not even your child. Have you ever thought of that? Maybe I belong to another former drug-addicted prostitute."
Sonia laughed. "Stop wishing for miracles, Brigid. You are mine, all right. So tell me about Nick Benedict; you two went away for hours last night."
Brigid frowned. "I don't want to talk about him."
Bad Girl Blues Page 11