by T. S. Joyce
Caleb drew my legs into his lap under the table and leaned back. “He sounds like a piece of work.”
I narrowed my eyes playfully. He’d been trying not to curse in front of me since he’d kissed me on the balcony. It was sweet, but I still wanted all of him, the good and the gritty. “You mean piece of shit, don’t you?”
“I do. Who took care of you after your mom’s funeral? After the trial?”
“No one. No one stepped forward, and I was awarded to the state. Mom didn’t have a will to assign a guardian, so I went into a foster home, and they decided something was wrong with me. I went into the hospital soon after that. Stayed there a year, and it was awful, but I was out of control of my memories and feelings. I’d shut down and wasn’t doing well with the therapy. I was scared and confused, and every time it came up that I could be released, my doctors denied it. Said I wasn’t ready. And maybe I wasn’t. I don’t know.”
“Do you still feel confused about what happened that night?”
He wasn’t asking because he didn’t believe me. The earnest, worried set to his eyes said he asked because he worried about me keeping everything in. “No. It all cleared up for me. I just needed time. I know what I saw. That memory never wavered. It was just all of the other stuff that became too much.”
He massaged the arches of my feet, and I leaned back into the dining chair.
“Do you wish things had been different?” he asked.
“Yeah. Of course I do. I fell through the cracks when my mom died. But then, I guess I’d be living in the city and Uncle Brady never would’ve taken me in. And I never would’ve met you.” My anger waivered, shifted. I’d been so deeply bitter about what Angus had done, it had tainted me. Jaded me.
But out of the muck, I got Caleb.
A distant smile tugged his lips. “My mom used to take us to this swimming hole in the summers when we were out of school. We’d spend the whole day there. She never got in the water. Said she didn’t trust water she couldn’t see to the bottom of. I think she was scared of the catfish we would catch out of the tank with my dad. Anyway, I remember she used to collect bathing suits, and I never figured out why. She’d wear a different one every time we went to the tank, but none of them ever got wet as far as I could tell. And all colors, too. She liked bright colors, like Sadey does. It matched her personality. She was happy.”
“I wish I could’ve met her.”
“You would’ve liked her. My dad was really different when she was alive. He wasn’t so…hard.”
I tried to imagine living without Caleb and decided I’d be really closed off, too, if I sustained that kind of damage to my heart.
I was in awe of Caleb’s ease in his own space. It settled something in me, as well. The fire crackled as we cleaned the dishes and put away the leftovers. His hungry eyes fell on me as I emerged from the restroom, newly showered and wearing one of his old T-shirts that draped down to my knees.
I held up my flour dusted clothes. “You mind if I wash these?”
Caleb jerked his head toward the room off the kitchen. “Let me show you how to use the washer and dryer.”
I was grateful for his patient teachings. I hadn’t ever used a washer before. Uncle Brady had been more of a use-the-sink-and-line-dry type of guy.
While we waited for my clothes to finish their cycle, he turned on a movie, of which I couldn’t remember a single scene because Caleb-the-Adonis-McCreedy ran a light touch over the tops of my thighs, draped lazily over his lap for the entirety of the show. He had worked me up to quite the inferno by the end credits.
His attention left the show as I parted my knees and grinned at him. His eyes went round and serious as he ran his hand up the inside of my leg.
“You said you wanted to wait to make our first time special,” I said.
“I did.” He hooked his finger on the lacy material and pulled my panties down my legs until they reached my ankles. Then, he slowly removed them like he had all the time in the world. I lifted up and pushed his shirt from his shoulders, exposing the long, curving scars on his chest and neck.
“I like the way you look.”
“Even marked up like this?”
I couldn’t take my eyes from him if I tried. “Especially marked up like this. They are a reminder of what you went through. What we went through the day we really met. These marks are part of our story.”
His abdomen flexed with every breath as he stared down at his torso with a frown. “I hadn’t thought of them like that.”
“How do you see them?”
“They always remind me of what I am now. They don’t let me forget the animal Eli put in me.”
“Caleb, I love you. And I love your animal, too. That part of you doesn’t bother me at all.”
“I watch you,” he said in a rushed voice. “When I change, I go to your house, and if you’re outside working, I watch you from the shadows. When I’m an animal, all I can think about is protecting you and being near you.”
“Of hunting for me?”
“Yeah, that too. You aren’t mad?”
“I felt you watching me. It scared me at first, but when I knew you were really a bear shifter, I wasn’t so scared anymore. I knew you wouldn’t ever hurt me.” I closed my eyes briefly as he lifted my oversized T-shirt over my head. My nipples puckered as he palmed the weight of my breasts in his hand. God, the man knew how to touch me. Leaning forward, he drew my nipple into his mouth and lapped at it until a warm, tingling sensation zinged rhythmically down my stomach and toward the apex between my legs. I spread my legs wider as he ran his hand down my side and gripped my hip. Slowly, he moved to my other nipple and worked it with his tongue until it was an impossibly tight bud. Sensation flooded me as he unbuttoned the clasp on his jeans and unsheathed his erection. His shaft stood long and thick as he pressed his pants down. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth in anticipation.
In a graceful movement, he folded me into his arms and carried me into his bedroom. There, he set me gently on his bed and tugged my ankles until my backside reached the edge. Without a word, he lowered himself between my legs and kissed my sex. I gasped.
I should feel shame or discomfort, anything. But right now, all I felt was the tingling sensation Caleb was causing by sucking on my sensitive spot. His tongue plunged into me, and I gripped his hair as my body threatened to shatter to pieces. My legs rested over his shoulders, and my toes curled with every lap of his tongue.
Just as I neared the edge, he eased back. The sound of a foil wrapper filled the room. Could I actually have an orgasm after he stopped touching me? Because right now, it was close.
“Caleb?” I breathed.
“I’m right here, baby,” he said, lowering his weight on top of me.
I parted my legs farther to allow him into the cradle of my hips. The tip of his erection pressed into me in a slow, shallow thrust, and I arched against him. “Please. I’m ready.”
His lips found the tripping pulse at my throat and he thrust into me again, a little deeper this time. He was trying to be gentle for my first time, but I felt an acute desperation for more. Rolling my hips against him, I let out the moan that had filled my throat. He pressed in farther, filling and stretching me. It hurt, but he’d done well to prepare me and make sure I was ready for him. The pleasure outweighed the discomfort, and I rocked with him again.
As his arms flexed, I ran my hands up the strong curve of them. He seemed to be holding back so I said, “Look at me.”
Another shallow thrust, and he gritted his teeth, easing back. His eyes were the most alluring color. Golds and greens, fire and woods, and as he settled his gaze on me, he looked utterly helpless for a moment. “I can’t stop.”
Why would I want him too? “Good. Then don’t.”
With a feral growl, he pressed into me until I could feel his hips against mine. I cried out at how good it felt when he pressed onto the sensitive nub nestled in my slick folds. Tangling his hands with mine, his gaze never left me as
he eased into me again, filling me until my insides pulled tight. As I moved with him, he closed his eyes for a moment, and his lips fell to mine. His mouth moved against me, and I opened to allow his tongue to brush mine in a delicious mimic of the penetration that had me straining for release.
The muscles in his arms shook as he gritted his teeth. He turned away for a moment before returning his gaze to mine—a glimpse of the raw lust that he was trying so hard to control. Someday, we’d buck and crash into each other and scream. That much was promised in the barely controlled power Caleb held in check now, but for tonight, he was determined to make this first time comfortable for me. He wouldn’t risk hurting me when I was so new and raw. With the realization, I loved him even more.
His hips moved faster and faster until the pressure inside of me became too much. He froze just as I came, and his shaft swelled inside of me and began to pulse in rhythm to my own orgasm.
“Jesus, woman,” he rasped against my neck. His teeth grazed the tender skin there, and I held him tighter. “My animal…I feel different.”
“Good different or bad different?”
He pulled back, panting. The color of his eyes still blazed unnaturally, but a small smile crooked his sensual lips. “You feel like you’re mine now, Mira.”
I couldn’t help the grin that took my face. That was the best combination of words I’d ever heard. “I was always yours.”
“Yeah, but this feels…” His eyes had taken on a faraway look. “It feels really important. Like we’re linked or something now. You’re my woman.”
“No, Caleb. I’m your mate.” The word felt right. I was more than his woman or his girlfriend. Something life-altering and permanent had been happening to us since the day I found him bleeding on my land. Tonight had sealed whatever fate we’d fallen into. No more trying to set the other free, or trying to stay away from each other. From here on, it wasn’t an option to be apart. Everything in me knew it was true. Caleb disliked what he’d become. He regretted the bear, but that animal side of him had given us something no normal couple could have.
He’d just bonded us.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Caleb
I awoke in the dark. Surprising, because I was an early riser, just not this early. Motionless, I waited for the subtle something that had peeled away the layers of my slumber to reveal itself. Mira lay with her head on my chest, and I stroked her hair to remind myself that she was real. That she was mine.
Silence.
I relaxed, and she stretched her legs with a faint sleep noise. I bent down to kiss her forehead but stopped when light passed over the bedroom window. I lay frozen, hoping my inner bear’s gnawing instinct to wake her and flee was wrong somehow. And then I smelled it.
“Mira,” I whispered. “Mira, wake up.” I shook her gently but urgently.
She tensed and sat ramrod straight. “I smell gasoline.”
It wasn’t just my imagination then.
“He’s here,” she said, fear dripping from her strangled whisper. She jolted up and searched in vain for her clothes in the dark. They still sat in a wet puddle in the washer. The best she could do was my pull on my oversized shirt she had worn earlier. “Where are your guns?”
I pulled on my pants and shook my head. “In a gun safe at my dad’s house.”
“You don’t have any weapons here.” She hadn’t asked but stated it with a twinge of defeat in her voice.
I yanked the phone off the receiver and pushed the talk button with more force than necessary. No dial tone. “Phone’s not working.”
“He cut the phone lines. You have a cell phone?”
I checked my cell for the hundredth time since I’d moved in with the same results. “Zero reception out here. I have to drive up the road by your place to get any bars.”
She cursed quietly as I led her into the kitchen. I pulled the biggest knife I owned out of the butcher’s block and secured it into the back of my jeans. The metal was cold and unforgiving against my skin, but I didn’t mind. It reminded me that it was there.
“McCreedy, send my girl on out here,” a man drawled. The voice of Angus French was as cold as the blade behind me. “My beef ain’t with you.”
Dull moonlight threw lines across her face through the blinds, and I could see that Mira’s eyes had gone black like they used to. She was listening to the voice of her nightmares, and I wanted to kill him for scaring her like this.
“I won’t let him hurt you.”
“McCreedy!” Angus screamed.
“What do you want?” I yelled through the door. I opened the blinds and saw the silhouette of the man. His face was completely dark with the moon behind him, and he leaned heavily against an old, black sedan. Inside, a large dog barked relentlessly.
“What do you mean, what do I want? I want to lay eyes on my little girl I haven’t seen in all these years. I want to see if she’s still as pretty as I remember. Toss her out here, and you won’t get hurt.”
“Ain’t gonna happen, Angus.”
“Well,” he drawled slowly. “That’s what I ’spected you’d say, so I’m going to lay down a couple of ground rules. Don’t go trying to sneak out the back door ’cause I have it good and rigged. I’ll hear any attempt and throw this cigarette I’ve been draggin’ on at your house. I’ve doused it pretty good in lighter fluid so I ’spect it’ll go up pretty quick. Awful way to die, so I hear.”
I leaned my head against the window pane and ran through ten escape plans in a second. None would work. Mira’s nails dug into the palm of my hand.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked him.
“Because that little bitch—” Angus cleared his throat and chuckled, a chilling sound. “Because my little girl and I have some unfinished business. Business that don’t involve you, McCreedy. Now hurry this up. I ain’t known for my patience, boy.”
“Caleb,” Mira said. “Can you change into your animal?”
Regret made me swallow hard. “I don’t control the changes. They always come at night, but I haven’t figured out a reason or a trigger for them.”
“It’s okay. I don’t want you getting hurt. I’ll be okay.”
“No. You aren’t going out there with that lunatic.”
“We’ll both burn alive in here. You heard him. He doesn’t bluff.”
“Stay here.” I pushed her gently back and opened the door before she could protest. “I’m coming out to talk.” I held my hands up in surrender.
I didn’t make it farther than the doorway before Angus flung a rifle up faster than I thought possible and pulled the trigger. A yelp of surprised pain burst from me as fire seared through my leg. I couldn’t hold weight on it anymore and fell forward like a stone.
“Caleb!” Mira shrieked.
Angus got to me before she could. “Sorry, boy,” he said through stale breath and cigarette smoke. I thought you were shorter. I was going for a gut shot. This one’ll be a little slower.” The apologies of a serial killer.
Mira had disappeared from the doorway for a second but returned with a knife raised high over her head. Her face said she meant it when she aimed the tip at Angus French’s face. He caught her hand and wrenched it until she cried out and dropped the blade. I took the distraction to pull my own knife, and with all of the force I could muster from my disadvantaged position, I thrust it into his leg and pulled down with one swift motion. “Run, Mira!”
Angus fell backward with a roar of pain. In a flash of anger, he swung his rifle like a baseball bat directly down onto my head.
Everything went black.
****
Mira
“No, no, no,” I chanted as grief washed over me. It mingled with my fear and created a cloud of horror, then somber acceptance. The sound of the butt of the gun as it connected with Caleb’s head was a noise that would haunt me for the last few minutes of my life. I knelt down and fluttered my fingers helplessly over his fallen body. The upper leg of his jeans looked black in the dim light from
the blood that seeped out of him. Angus scuffled as he righted himself behind me, and the glint of the knife I had dropped gleamed from just out of my reach. Scrambling backward, I tried to kick the door closed before he could catch me, but Angus was fast. If anything, prison had only made him stronger.
He caught my hair and yanked it backward, bringing water to my eyes. He didn’t wait for me to stand to ease the pressure. Angus simply dragged me out of the house by the roots. From the puddle of crimson-colored liquid beside Caleb, my flailing legs made red arcs and circles across the wooden floorboards with my struggles.
Angus hoisted me up and put my face against the window of the black sedan. The dog inside was massive. Thickly muscled and gnashing his huge teeth at the window in desperation to get at me. A trained killer, just like Angus.
“You know what I missed the most while I was in prison, sugar? Coon hunts. There is nothing quite like the thrill of the chase when you are hunting down a big ol’ coon.”
I closed my eyes tightly against the vision of the dog mere millimeters away from my face and blocked out the barking. I had to get away. I had to get help for Caleb.
“I’ll give you five minutes head start.” Angus eased back and looked me in the eye. His wrinkles were deeper, but his black, bottomless eyes still held the same icy emptiness I remembered. The man had been born wicked. He’d apparently accepted that a long time ago, embraced it even. Now, there was no soul left in him at all. “I think that’s pretty generous, don’t you? Five minutes, and I let old Brutus here loose. He’s a bully, for sure, but he’s a good tracker, too. A Brutus of all trades.” Angus chuckled at his joke, and I held my breath against the stale rot that emanated from his mouth. “When he catches you, and he will, I’ll be right behind him to put you out of your misery. What was it your boyfriend said? Oh, yeah.” His grip in my hair loosened. “Run, Mira.”