“Don’t take too long,” Carl called after him. “I’ll be right here waiting for you.”
“I bet you will,” Jasper muttered angrily under his breath. He was surprised Carl didn’t follow him into the bathroom to monitor his shower to ensure he wasn’t wasting precious energy by bathing too vigorously.
With his jaw clenched, he pushed open the bathroom door. Carl was asking the impossible. He was asking Jasper to call on energy reserves that were already well past depleted. But Carl didn’t care. All he cared about was winning. The one person who had cared about him had been swiftly pushed away.
Hanging his head with regret, Jasper stepped beneath the warm torrent of water and wondered how he was even going to make it through the day.
Chapter 9
“Again!”
The trainer’s voice cut through Jasper’s mind like a determined knife. Squeezing his eyes shut, he grunted and raised the dumbbell above his head, the veins in his arms expanding with the effort. Sweat streaked down his back and pooled at his feet.
The weights felt like a ton. Jasper’s body began to shake as he struggled to hold it up. He could feel his bad knee threatening to buckle. He squeezed his eyes tighter and ground his teeth. He just needed to work through the pain. He’d come out the other side of it a stronger, more impressive fighter.
In his mind, he counted to the allocated five and then dropped the weight. His shoulders relaxed in gratitude as his arms hung limply at his sides.
“Again!”
The trainer wasn’t letting up. His blue eyes were glued to Jasper, monitoring his every move. With a sigh, Jasper looked away from him to reach for a nearby towel and try to wipe away some of his sweat.
“I just…need…a minute,” he declared between pants.
“No minute. Do it again. Now.”
The trainer had a full head of unnaturally vibrant blonde hair and skin the color of a ripe orange. When he spoke, he revealed two rows of perfect white teeth. He looked more like a Hollywood movie star than a trainer. He had, incidentally, apparently trained a number of famous actors. Carl had casually name dropped as he drove Jasper over to the gym, eager to boast.
“Seriously,” Jasper raised a hand towards the trainer. “I need a minute. I’m not made of steel.”
“You need to think you are made of steel,” the trainer pressed a manicured nail towards his own forehead. “Think you are the man of steel, and it shall be so.”
“The man of steel is Superman,” Jasper said with a roll of his eyes. “There is just no way I’m Superman. He’s a comic book character. At least give me some realistic goals.”
Jasper saw the blue eyes of his trainer simmer with rage.
“Your goal is to be the best,” the blonde haired Adonis stated bluntly. “There is no other goal. If what you want to achieve is realistic, it’s probably not worth pursuing.”
If he were his old self, Jasper would whole heartedly agree with the American. He used to chase after his goals with dogged determination, but now he was getting to see what his career was costing him; it wasn’t just his physical health. Kait’s image hovered in his mind. If he wasn’t so committed to fighting, he would be with her now instead of sat in the gym sweating like a pig whilst his body groaned in protest every time he moved so much as an inch.
Jasper grabbed his yellow plastic sports bottle and hungrily drank from it. He needed the electrolytes contained within the blue fluid it contained. But no matter how much he drank, he still felt thirsty.
“Again,” the trainer nodded towards the dumbbell which was now placed on its metal rest. Jasper groaned and drank some more. “If the body is weak, then the mind must be strong.”
Jasper threw down his bottle and leaned back on the bench. He was in no mood to listen to his new trainer philosophize on the importance of mind set. He knew how important it was. His mind used to be the only part of him that was strong, but after countless hours in the gym, his body finally caught up.
Flexing his hands, he cautiously raised them to the dumbbell. He gripped the bar tightly and locked his jaw.
“For the count of ten this time,” he heard the trainer nearby deliver the command, and his heart sank. He was struggling just to make it to five.
Taking a deep breath Jasper removed the dumbbell and let the weights lower towards his chest. Then he summoned all that remained of his strength and straightened his arms.
“One.” His trainer began to count.
“Two.”
Jasper’s arms were shaking like reeds in the wind. Sweat poured from every part of his body as his teeth clattered together. He couldn’t do this. His body was too weak, too tired.
“Three.”
He just needed to hold out for a few more digits. Then it would all be over. Closing his eyes, Jasper tried to focus on nothing except the weight he was currently holding. He imagined that his arms really were steel and could effortlessly hold it up.
“Four.”
But the illusion of strength wasn’t enough. The trainer formed his lips to sound the next number as the dumbbell suddenly dropped towards Jasper’s chest. The weight pressed heavily against his lungs making Jasper gasp for breath. With an angry sneer, his trainer reached for the dumbbell and returned it to its stand with barely any effort. He acted as though it were made of straw rather than iron.
Panting and humiliated, Jasper slowly sat up and ran his hands over his soaked head. This time he had hadn’t even lasted to the count of five. Maybe he really was losing his touch as Carl had cruelly suggested. Perhaps it was time for him to accept that he wasn’t the strongest anymore. Better to go out now while he’s on top than stick around and let everyone have the pleasure of seeing him fade away.
“Pitiful!” The trainer roared in disapproval. “My grandmother could do better than that.”
Jasper’s eyes widened in surprise. He highly doubted that any grandmother could do better than that.
“Again.”
With a flick of his wrist, the trainer gestured to the dumbbells and then folded his arms over his chest, a smug expression settled over his perfect features.
“No,” Jasper shook his head and began drying himself off with his towel. “I’m done with that shit for today.”
“Again.”
“Seriously, no,” Jasper could feel himself starting to lose his cool. He wasn’t willing to push his body to breaking point. No title was worth that. He’d seen guys who had taken things too far. They ended up in the hospital with injuries that they could never come back from. And they all said the same thing: that it wasn’t worth it.
“This isn’t up for debate. Again.”
Jasper stood up, his knee feeling precarious beneath him. Somehow standing made him feel less like a student being told off by their teacher.
“You see how much I’m shaking. I can’t do it again. I’ve got nothing left.”
“No excuses. Again.”
“As excuses go, I’d say this is pretty legitimate.” Jasper could fee his temper rising. “I was in the ring only a few days ago, and it was brutal. My body needs time to recover and heal before I can start training in earnest. I don’t know what Carl is paying you or what he’s promised, but we are done here.”
“We are done when I say we are!”
Jasper pushed back his shoulders and tried to appear as imposing as possible. He suddenly felt like he was dealing with a drill sergeant rather than a fitness trainer.
“I’m calling time on this, I’m done.” He growled at the American.
“I thought the great Jasper Duboix was a real fighter,” the trainer taunted him. “But all I see before me is a scared little boy.”
Jasper was furious even though he knew the guy was just trying to goad him, wanting him to get fired up so he’d train some more. What he needed to do was just walk away before things became too heated. Scooping up his towel and yellow sports bottle, Jasper began walking across the gym, eager to reach the changing rooms.
“Run home to
Mommy and Daddy,” the trainer mocked him as he left. “That’s all you’re good for.”
Jasper felt his eyes grow moist. One thing he’d never, ever been able to do was run home to his parents because they’d abandoned him before he’d even had chance to be a disappointment to them. He wouldn’t even know them if they passed him on the street. The thought made his head pound uneasily.
Pausing, Jasper raised a hand to his temple. His skin was hot to the touch. The sound of his heart hammering in his chest echoed loudly in his ears. The room around him began to tilt on an axis. Jasper reached out for something to grab onto but found only empty air. And then he was falling. His feet gave way beneath him, and he landed upon the grey carpeted floor with a dense thud. For a moment, he gazed at the bright ceiling lights above him before letting his eyes close and embracing the darkness.
Chapter 10
Kait threw her handbag down and kicked off her shoes. She was relieved that yet another working day was done. Running her fingers through her golden hair, she approached the kitchenette and turned on the oven. Her stomach grumbled in anticipation for dinner. Bending down to open a drawer in the refrigerator, she pulled out a frozen lasagna dinner for one. The image on the front looked quite appealing, but Kait knew that the contents wouldn’t live up to such expectations; they never did.
She placed the frozen package in to the center of the oven and then sauntered over to the living area. She flicked on the television and opened up the menu which showed her where all her recorded programs were saved up, ready to be viewed. The list was dwindling. In her attempt to stop thinking about Jasper, she’d been staying up late binge watching her favorite shows. Her eyes were always rimmed red in the mornings and shrouded in shadow. If anyone at work noticed, they didn’t say anything.
Kait was scrolling down the list when there was a dull knock at her front door. Tensing, she put down the remote and cautiously headed towards the door she’d previously come through. She paused for a moment, considering calling out to ask who was there, but she eventually just released the lock and opened the door. Her body froze in shock as she looked and saw Jasper standing in her doorway. He looked tired as he leaned against the wall and regarded her with sad eyes.
“Hey,” he greeted her softly. “I hope you don’t mind me stopping by.”
“Why are you even here?” Kait demanded fiercely before she’d had chance to tone down her indignation.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” Jasper sighed. “Things got kind of heavy at the gym earlier, and I guess I just wanted to see a friendly face.”
Kait scowled. She wasn’t looking very friendly these days. But despite her apprehension about his presence, something about what he’d said concerned her.
“What do you mean things got heavy at the gym?”
Jasper gave a sad, stiff laugh. “I passed out. Can you believe that? I even ended up in the hospital.”
“Oh my God.” Kait cupped a hand over her mouth. A visit to hospital meant that things were serious. This was exactly what she’d feared for Jasper, that he’d eventually take his training too far.
“Come in,” she stepped aside so that he could enter her apartment. He nodded in gratitude as he limped passed her, barely able to walk on one of his legs.
“What happened to you?” She asked him as she watched him struggle over to the sofa and collapse upon it.
“I’ve been wondering the same thing,” he said with a wry smile. “One minute I’m the baddest, meanest guy out there, the next I’m on my back at the gym staring up at a load of paramedics.”
“Jasper-”
“I needed to see you,” he interrupted, his eyes boring into hers. “My life is chaos and brutality, but with you I find some sort of calm.”
Kait rubbed at her neck, not knowing how to take the compliment.
“With you I can just be myself,” he continued, his voice hoarse. “You don’t expect me to be a fighter; you don’t push me to always win.”
“No,” Kait agreed as her heart swelled in her chest. “I always just wanted you for you.”
Chapter 11
The next eight hours were a blurred haze of tangled limbs and heavy breaths. Kait crashed against Jasper with the full force of a tidal wave, surprising herself with how desperately she wanted him. His strong arms welcomed her in for an embrace, and his hands hungrily roved her body. They said nothing as there was no need for words. Together they acted out a dance to which they both already knew the steps.
Kait gasped in delight as Jasper threw her down on to her bed, his previous discomfort seemingly forgotten. He made love to her several times as Kait groaned and bit her lip. When they finally parted, they lay back on the pillows breathless, their bodies glistening with sweat.
As her breathing slowed, Kait heard the steady drum of her heartbeat bouncing in her ears. It was almost deafening. Her body still tingled from Jasper’s touch. Beside her, she could make out his elongated breaths, but they still had yet to speak.
“Jasper,” her voice was hoarse as she said his name as though her vocal chords had weakened due to lack of use.
She felt him shift on the bed to turn towards her. She followed suit and rolled onto her side. Their eyes met, and a jolt of electricity seared through her body.
“I…” She wanted to say something, anything, but as she opened her mouth, words failed her. His visit had been so unexpected, and her mind was still recovering from their passionate reunion.
“Can we just rest for now?” Jasper asked as he raised a hand to run a finger along her arm. She shuddered pleasurably at his touch.
“Sure,” Kait registered the dark bags beneath his eyes. He looked exhausted. “Let’s just rest,” she smiled at him. No sooner had she said the words, Jasper’s eyes began to droop and his breathing slowed. In less than five minutes, he was fast asleep. For a moment, Kait just watched him. He was so peaceful as he slept, so unguarded. Gone was the hardened fighter who had pushed her away. Somehow, she knew that she was now dealing with the real Jasper Duboix, the one he never allowed in the ring.
She longed to curl up beside him and just sleep away the day, but she was already running late for work. Kait uttered several angry curse words as she got up and headed towards the shower. She considered calling in sick but decided against it. She was still so close to her promotion she couldn’t risk anything counting against her.
Dressed for work in a grey pencil skirt and cream blouse, Kait glanced in on Jasper who was still sleeping upon her bed. She felt an ache within her as she anticipated that by the time she returned from work he would be long gone. But at least this time he’d stayed after sunrise; that was some progress. Kait resisted the urge to go over and kiss him one last before dashing out through the front door and trying to ignore how unbearably tired she already was.
Chapter 12
“I’m thinking we all go eat at Fennels,” Anna chirped brightly in to the phone.
“What?” Kait jolted in her office chair. She was certain that she’d dozed off for a portion of their conversation and now had no idea what her friend was talking about.
“This weekend,” Anna said with an edge of annoyance in her usually bright voice, “we’re double dating on Friday, remember? I was thinking of booking a table at Fennels. Apparently, the food there is sublime.”
Friday. Fennels. The words bounced around Kait’s mind, demanding her to give them attention even though she was so weary she was struggling to just string a sentence together.
She’d agreed to double date with Anna, Robert, and one of Robert’s friends. The memory stirred within her and sharpened her dulled senses. She remembered agreeing to go, how she had made the decision to put Jasper behind her once and for all. And now he was in her bed whilst she was making plans to go out for dinner with someone else. What was going on? What was Kait supposed to do?
“Kait, is everything alright?” Anna asked with concern after the overly long pause on Kait’s end of the line.
“What, um, yea
h, I bet Fennels will be lovely.”
“You still want to go, don’t you?”
“Uh huh.”
“Kait?”
Kait sighed in resignation. Was her reluctance that obvious?
“I kind of relapsed last night,” she admitted shyly.
“What!” Anna’s voice lifted several decibels to the point where only dogs could surely hear it. “Kait, how could you? You said you were done with him.”
“And I was. I am.” Kait was nodding as she spoke.
“Then why the slip up?”
“I don’t know.” Groaning, Kait sunk down in her chair shamefully. Why had she allowed Jasper in to her bed once again, knowing that he’d only break her heart? But he had seemed…different. He’d come to her in a moment of weakness because he needed her. Because he knew that they had a connection.
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