by Sam Speed
Dawn stood left hand clenched at her side and right hand at her mouth, absently chewing her nails.
For the sake of Dawn's nails, I decided to intervene.
As I walked over to Yvette, Anne and Christine came in the door. They swerved to the side, away from Yvette. They had no intention of talking to her. I wasn't surprised. Most people avoided Yvette if they noticed her if they noticed her before she noticed them. What was strange was the look of intense hatred Christine gave Yvette. It was one I would have been proud of and unexpected from Christine who was usually sweetness personified.
I sauntered over and put my arm around Yvette's shoulder. She flinched back from me.
'Tell me Yvette was it you who donated that wonderful dish of berries?'
I pointed to the side of the hall where someone had left a large plastic tulip shaped dish full of red, yellow and green berries mixed with sliced apples. Beside the dish, there was a pile of matching smaller dishes. How cute. How naff. The sweet, fruity smell of the berries was overpowering. So strong it almost overcame the mixed smells of cheap perfume, even cheaper deodorant and sweat from the crowd.
'Me?' said Yvette guiltily, 'I hadn't even noticed it.'
A trickle of red juice from the corner of her mouth gave the lie to her claim. If there was food available Yvette never waited for an invitation. Seeing where I was looking, she wiped her mouth as if that would hide the fact she'd already helped herself to the fruit.
Dawn looked amazing in her bright pink halter neck top and shorts with matching trainers. The top and shorts fitted snugly and showed off her figure, curving at all the right places.
'Welcome to the class,' said Dawn. 'Please grab a mat and try to find space for the exercises. We are a bit busier than I expected so if you can't find a space in this class, feel free to wait in the small hall and I'll do an extra class later.'
There was a stramash1[1] as most of the ladies fought their way over to the side of the room in the hope of claiming one of the exercise mats. Being somewhat brighter than the average keep fitter, I had claimed my mat earlier and sat smiling as I watched the others fight it out. Angela, being an experienced keep fit fanatic had her own mat. For those who didn't get a mat, one night on the floor and they would make sure they brought their own the next time.
I heard raised voices at the back of the room and gave Dawn a wave to let her know I would deal with it.
It was no big surprise to find Yvette in the middle of it. Her face was red and her mouth turned down. She and Suzy were fighting over an exercise mat.
'You know I can't wait to the next class,' Yvette almost spat. 'I have to start work in an hour and a half.'
'So do I,' Suzy said hanging on to the mat, 'as you know fine well.'
She should know because they worked together at the call centre.
'Ladies,' I said, 'give me a minute to see if I can work this out. Is there anyone here who has a mat and doesn't mind waiting until the next class?'
'You can have mine,' said Christine, 'I'm happy to wait.'
Anne glared at her. No doubt she only had an hour away from the shop and she wanted to do the class with her friend.
Christine saw her look and tried to sooth her.
'I'll stand beside you and call out encouragement,' she said.
Anne's scowl vanished and she laughed.
I was getting fed up with all this phony niceness. Dawn had better get this class going soon before I lost my bitch of the year reputation.
Crisis averted, Dawn continued with the class.
'I'd like to thank you all for coming and a special thanks to whoever brought along that lovely dish of wild berries and fruit. It looks a perfect example of foraging. We'll all have a taste after the class.'
Dawn explained the basics of the diet for the new members and then it was time for something a bit more energetic.
The exercises started with 'fetching water from the burn'. A necessary part of any cave person's day. I glanced over at Suzy and Lorna, struggling already, side by side. Then we did 'lighting a fire' to heat the water. Behind Suzy, Janice was remarkably supple. Perhaps that was her attraction to the men. She and Yvette sniggered at Lorna's efforts. Sheila, on Lorna's other side, gave them a dirty look and did her best to help.
After a short time, I noticed Yvette looked white and and was struggling to keep up. I thought it ironic when she had been sneering at Lorna, but I hoped she was not overdoing the exercises. After all, her usual exercise consisted of lifting a bottle of beer. It wouldn't help Dawn if Yvette had a heart attack during the first class.
The next exercise was 'fletching a bow' to arm our hunters.
Yvette was actually looking green now. She made a dash for the loo. At Dawn's pleading glance, I reluctantly followed to check on her.
She was throwing up at great length, with disgusting sound effects and an acrid smell. I left her to it. I got more than enough of that in the hospital, so had no wish to spend my leisure time mopping up sick. A few minutes later, Yvette staggered out of the toilet only to collapse on the floor gasping for breath.
Luckily the other members of the class had their backs to Yvette and hadn't noticed. Dawn left them 'grinding meal' to come over and ask me if she should send for an ambulance.
I knelt beside Yvette, who was now still and examined her.
'I doubt if an ambulance is going to do any good,' I whispered, looking at the foam coming out of Yvette's mouth. My nose wrinkled at the bitter smell, 'but phone for one anyway and I'll start CPR. Better call the police as well. Looks like Yvette's dead. I'm pretty sure she's been poisoned.'
[i] Stramash: an uproar; tumult; brawl
Not So Berry Nice
I resumed my futile first aid on Yvette. Thankfully I always carry my face shield so I could use it to avoid the foam. I planned to do first aid continuously until the ambulance came. But after listening to Dawn splutter to the emergency operator, I got up and gently took the phone from her. Don't look so surprised. I can be gentle and I can even be nice, or at least appear that way, when I must.
I explained to the operator, in my best professional manner, that I was Staff Nurse Lisa Cameron. That I was at Nu Faran community centre, performing first aid on a patient who had collapsed and was not breathing. It didn't take me long to give him the rest of the details he needed and he advised that I should continue first aid while I waited for the ambulance. I knew it was futile, but I kept going. It's one thing seeing an elderly person slip away from their pain-wracked life. But it's another thing altogether seeing someone I knew, who had been full of life half an hour before, collapse and die in front of you.
The ambulance arrived quickly. Just as well it wasn't a Friday night or they would all have been away patching up drunks. Dawn's friend Jean, a slim young woman with natural blond hair, was one of the paramedics and she took over from me working on Yvette.
I'd seen Jean with Dawn a couple of times, but I'd never spoken to her. Her hair was tied back in a French knot, no doubt for practical reasons, but I recalled it looked like a sheet of molten gold hanging down to her waist. As I handed over to her she gave me a smile. It lit up her whole face. Her green eyes sparkled and her dazzling white teeth contrasted with her dark red lips. My eyes lingered on her just a little too long to be polite.
At the other end of the hall, Sheila's experience, as a minister's wife, came in handy because she was used to bossing people around. She organised the others into a subdued bundle and herded them like sheep through the door into the smaller hall.
They would all have to stay until the police questioned them, but none of them showed any inclination to leave. Most of them looked queasy and quite a few looked ill. After all, we're a fairly small community and most of them knew Yvette. Yet despite that, the precarious excitement of someone else's misfortune had them all taking sneaky looks up the hall as they shuffled out. Besides, I doubt many people actually liked Yvette.
They had been silent since Yvette collapsed, but as they cr
owded into the other room, I could hear the murmur of thrilled debate starting up.
By the time the police arrived the paramedics had accepted there was no hope for Yvette and pronounced her dead. They advised us not to touch anything. The paramedics advised the initial police constable that there was nothing they could do for Yvette and he summoned a scene of crime officer. He told us to leave everything as it was until the initial examination was complete.
Jean had been looking at the bowl of berries and lifted a few of them into one of the smaller bowls. She carried them over to the officer.
'I run a foraging class and consider myself an expert on wild berries. I think there's a good chance these are what caused the death. They are red baneberry. They are highly poisonous and often grow among haws. An amateur might well have mixed them up. Baneberry would cause a quick death like this.'
The officer wanted to know where the berries came from. Dawn was struggling to breathe so I explained what had happened. I told him about the class, about the anonymous donation of the fruit cocktail and how I was certain that Yvette was poisoned.
He said he accepted it was probably an accident; the donor had picked the wrong berries. But there was enough doubt to declare this a crime scene. He told us detectives would be along to see if they could rule out murder. Then he asked me to explain to the other participants that they would have to wait until the detectives got there.
At the door of the small hall, I could hear a cacophony of voices, but as soon as I opened the door it stopped as though someone had pressed an off switch. A crowd of expectant faces turned to look at me. I decided I had been nice long enough for one day.
'It's awful out there,' I said with a tremor in my voice and collapsed onto a chair, wiping my brow. 'Yvette is dead. The police are here and treating Yvette's death as murder. They say we're all suspects. But they have no idea what killed her and it could be a deadly virus. We might all be in danger.' Seeing Mary clutch at her chest, I suspected I had gone a bit too far.
'Of course,' I said in my nursing voice, 'since Yvette died so quickly if any of us were affected, we would be dead by now. So I promise you we are all fine. We will just have to stay here until the detectives arrive, but that won't be too long,' I said with my fingers crossed behind my back.
By this time, sweat was pouring down Mary's face and she was scrambling to open the top button on her blouse. I remembered too late about her many medical problems. They included mild claustrophobia and panic attacks as well as high blood pressure. I led her from the room, talking quietly.
I swept the scene of crime officer aside as he tried to stop me taking her out the front door. 'I am a medical professional. This woman must have air. We will come back in when she's calmer.'
Jean rushed over to help me with Mary.
As we stood outside, a dark blue Honda CRV arrived and two detectives got out. One was a small slim woman with dark hair fixed up in a low bun sitting at the back of her neck. Her discrete make-up showed her button nose, rosy cheeks and her cupid bow lips to perfection. She and Jean exchanged a chilly look.
The other was a tall hunk of a man. He was slim, but his tight jacket promised muscles below. His hair was fair, his eyes pale blue and he had just the right amount of designer stubble. I had to admit his slim roman nose and his thin upturned lips were cute if you like that sort of thing. He walked with a swagger that proclaimed he was God's gift to women.
He smiled in my direction as if to say, 'I might be interested if you beg me.' I replied with a sickly smile that said, 'Not if you were the last man alive.'
Since Mary was calmer now, we all entered the hall together.
Dawn rushed over to me with tears in her eyes.
'Oh Lisa,' she said, 'I don't know how you can deal with death day in, day out at your work.'
Returning to nice mode with difficulty, I refrained from assuring her that I did not kill off my patients on a daily basis.
'But it is different when it's someone you know.' I said.
The male detective turned his attention to Dawn. She fluttered her long blond eyelashes and gazed into his eyes as though she had never seen a pair so blue before. She had. On the waste of space, she used to be married to. You'd think she would learn that there's a reason pale blue eyes look as though there's nothing behind them.
Dawn had made a miraculous recovery from her anxiety. She gave the detective a thorough and approving visual inspection. This was mutual because he slowly ran his empty blue eyes up and down Dawn's figure, lingering only slightly too long at her breasts. His smooth smile showed he liked what he saw.
I, on the other hand, did not like what I saw. Dawn had already had one disastrous relationship.
Seeing my look, the detective smirked over at me.
His voice when he spoke was low and soothing. 'I'm Detective Inspector Black and this is Detective Constable White.'
I choked back my inevitable response. I noted the woman's barely perceptible annoyance as he emphasised their respective ranks.
'Ladies, you were in charge of the class tonight?'
'I was in charge of the class,' Dawn said as his attention wandered in my direction.
'That's right,' I said, 'I'm only one of the class. Dawn is the organiser.'
Dawn gave a slight smile as his attention returned to her.
I left them talking and wandered over to where DC White was standing guard over the body.
'Any idea how long the rest of the class will have to stay? Some of them have young children and one of them is not very well.'
'That will be up to DI Black,' She emphasised the I. 'I don't imagine it will be long. It looks like an unfortunate mistake with someone picking the wrong berries. Can you tell me who provided the berries?'
'Not a clue. The berries were there waiting when Dawn arrived. It was strange because I would have thought whoever provided them would want to take the credit. Jean, the paramedic, identified the Red Baneberry.'
DI White glanced over at the two paramedics and nodded stiffly at Jean. 'Is there another room where we can talk to everyone in private? We'll be taking names and addresses and checking if anyone admits to supplying the berries. Once we have their details people can go. There's a pathologist lives close by so we'll have her over and be here until she has been.'
'There's a room on the other side of the entrance hall you can use. I'll show you.'
'Would you like me to stay and help?' I asked.
'Thank you. But for confidentiality, we will have to speak to everyone alone. You could help by showing the first person in.'
I took Mary along first and as we got there, DI Black joined the constable.
Dawn was sitting alone in the hall, shaking and wringing her hands.
'They are talking about it being an accident,' she said, looking worried.
'Surely that's good.' I said.
'You don't understand. If it gets out that someone died in my class from poisoning who will give my dinosaur diet a try? If it was an accident my class is going to be a disaster and I've already booked the hall for the rest of the year. I can't afford to pay for it unless I make money from the class. If Yvette wasn't murdered, I'm bankrupt.'
'I'm sure it won't come to that.'
'Oh my god,' Dawn collapsed onto one of the hard chairs lined up at the side of the hall. 'I can't believe I said that. How can I even think about money when Yvette is dead? And one of the class might be a murderer.'
I decided that now was not the time for one of my sarky answers and sat beside her, holding her hand. Even after leading all the exercises she still smelt fresh and I breathed in the scent of her perfume. I watched a small drop of perspiration trickle down from her forehead and noted the unconscious way she brushed it from her face. Just as well she didn't know what I was thinking.
A Wet Snowball
The pathologist, Eileen Campbell, arrived remarkably quickly. Maybe not that remarkable since she lived two houses down from the hall. Her clothes looked dishevelled
as though she had dressed in haste and her hair was not quite flattened down. I guess we had spoiled her plans for the evening.
'I can confirm this woman is dead,' she said.
'No shit, Sherlock,' I muttered under my breath, but not quietly enough, judging by the sharp look she gave me.
By this time the others had reluctantly left the hall.
DC White ushered me into the interview room to go over what I had already told her and take my details.
After our brief interviews, Dawn and I joined everyone else outside the hall. They stood around chatting and waiting patiently as though for a bride to leave a church. I quite expected them to throw confetti when Yvette's covered body was finally brought out on a stretcher and whisked away from the onlookers.
There was a murmur of disappointment that the excitement was over.
Angela started to sob and was comforted by Sheila.
'I can't believe she's really gone. What a terrible thing to happen, especially when your class is so new Dawn.'
I put my arm around Dawn's waist to hold her back without making it too obvious.
'Oh?' I said. 'I thought you and Yvette didn't get on.'
I could almost hear DI Black's ears prick up.
'Oh,' Angela blustered, 'it was just a friendly rivalry. We really were very fond of each other. Whenever I struggled to keep up my exercises I would imagine looking like Yvette. I don't know how I am going to keep up my fitness regime without seeing the state of Yvette's body.'
As I choked back the laughter, Angela realised what she had said and collapsed into Sheila's arms, sobbing. Dawn frowned. She was soft enough to believe Angela's show.
'Listen up everyone,' I said. 'Because of the interruption, next week's class will be free for everyone who was here tonight. And for anyone who wasn't in tonight's class, we'll be offering a one-off 50% discount so tell your friends about it. See Dawn before next week to find out which class you will be in as we will be running several.'
'What on earth are you doing?' whispered Dawn. 'No-one will want to come to my class now.'