‘He’s sulky and irritated. He talks about you. One minute it’s good stuff, but then the next, he’s pretty mean.’
I laughed. I shouldn’t have but the way Derek expressed himself was tactless and it tickled me. There was no need for me to be offended about Antony being mean. I had done exactly the same thing when speaking to Father about him.
‘I’m a complex person. It’s not that easy to get along with me. Antony’s probably annoyed that he has to babysit me, that’s all.’
The title of the chapter I was about to read screamed at me when I glanced down. ‘Surrender What Is To Allow What Will Be’.
It hit a nerve and my breath sucked into my lungs. That’s exactly what I needed to do.
‘Seems more than that,’ he muttered before getting up and wandering away.
Words immersed me as I became lost in the pages of the book. It wasn’t until I heard the doorbell ring that I stopped reading. I had been at it for hours. My fingers were frozen and my whole body ached. Going inside, I stopped in the hallway when I saw a man enter Father’s library.
It couldn’t be him, could it? I sneaked to the closed door and tried to listen. The muffled voices were low. I couldn’t make out what they were saying. Sitting on the stairs, I was determined to wait to see if my eyes had deceived me.
‘What are you doing?’ Antony said as he came into the hallway and sat next to me.
‘Waiting for Father’s meeting to finish.’
There was no need to elaborate and he didn’t ask. It was something I often did.
‘I’m sorry for what you heard when I was talking to Aries.’
The dark circles under his eyes made me wonder if his night had been as restless as mine. I had spent all night tossing and turning. Thoughts had played over and over in my mind.
‘It’s okay. I completely understand,’ I said, patting his hand.
He caught me and squeezed my fingers. ‘Do you?’
The temptation to pull away was strong but it would only make things worse. ‘Yes. This is weird for me and I’ve been preparing for it my whole life. Don’t worry. I don’t think you’re my twin flame.’
No warmth radiated from the small smile he gave me. ‘So, we can go back to being friends? I promise not to kiss you again.’
The memory of his lips on mine sent heat to my cheeks. My skin tingled where we touched and he suddenly let go. He must’ve felt the energy between us. I didn’t know what to say. A part of me was glad but a part of me was sad too.
‘We were always friends.’ I hit him on the leg playfully.
We laughed together but the sound was forced. The door to Father’s library opened and Daniel stepped out. It was him!
‘Pisces!’ he exclaimed when I jumped up from the stairs.
‘What are you doing here?’ I said at the same time.
I looked at my father, who now stood behind him. He shook his head once and gestured for Antony to follow him into the library.
‘I’m doing some business for…’
‘My father…?’
Antony eyed the newcomer as he walked around him.
‘Your father…?’
He looked bewildered as a chuckle escaped me.
‘You didn’t text me,’ he said, stepping forward.
My neck bent back as his close proximity forced me to look up at him. A whiff of strong aftershave found its way down my throat. I tried not to let the overpowering smell affect my facial expression.
My senses were easily overwhelmed so I never wore perfume. If one of the others sprayed themselves too much, I would have to go out of the room. Antony didn’t wear a lot of aftershave. A hint of something tickled my nose when he was close but it wasn’t overpowering.
‘I didn’t get round to it. I was going to text you tonight.’
My hand landed on his chest as he snaked an arm around my waist. A man had never taken hold of me like he did. I quite liked it. My fingers rested right where his heartbeat was. It was steady, unlike my own.
‘Well, how about we go out tonight and exchange numbers that way? I didn’t realise you lived so far away from London.’ He looked around the hallway.
I stood still in his arms, unsure of what I should do. He wasn’t looking at me. He studied our surroundings. Why did he hold me?
‘I have a home in London, too,’ I replied, tempted to push him away. I wasn’t sure what made me feel uncomfortable but it took all of my willpower not to shove him off me.
A smile crossed his face. I was certain it wasn’t because of me. Did he like the idea of hooking up with someone that had a rich father?
‘It’s getting late. Shall we go to dinner?’ His arm dropped and he stepped back.
‘Yes, I suppose,’ I said, looking down at my outfit.
‘You look great.’ His eyes traced me.
I tried to curb the stupid smile that spread over my face. It felt good to be wanted.
Sticking my head around the library door, I announced that I was going out with Daniel. Antony jumped up from his seat but Father waved him down.
‘It’s okay, Antony, I trust Pisces with this one.’
Blowing a kiss to my father, I grabbed hold of Daniel’s hand. He laughed as I pulled him out to his swanky car and told him to take me away.
Chapter Twelve
‘Where have you been?’
His voice startled me as I wandered down the street. I wanted to walk home after my date. I needed time to be alone so I could think. Daniel had insisted that he drove me but I suggested he went back to London.
‘Out with Dan,’ I replied.
A part of me was annoyed that Antony had been following me but I was too happy to be bothered by it. However it was nice that my father cared enough to send him to keep an eye on me.
‘Dan…? Did you have fun?’ His words were stilted so I turned to him. He frowned suddenly and I faltered. What was wrong? Why had he reacted that way? ‘Sorry. I didn’t realise how into him you were,’ he said.
We faced each other in the middle of the road. The streets were empty, which made a change from London traffic.
‘I had a lovely time.’ I sighed and started to walk again.
‘How do you know he’s safe to be around? Something about him makes me feel…’
As his sentence trailed off, I found myself longing to hear what he felt. I had never heard Antony express his emotions.
‘What…?’ I asked softly, not looking at him as he drew level with me.
‘I’m not sure exactly. He doesn’t seem genuine.’
My steps became faster as my emotional high came bouncing down around me. There was nothing more depressing than someone you care for putting a downer on you. Did I care for Antony? He was only my bodyguard after all. My chest tingled and I tried to rub the feeling away.
‘I feel okay around him. I’m a pretty good judge of character,’ I boasted, though I knew I was just protecting myself.
His laughter made me turn to look at him. We were outside the house gates but I didn’t want to go in straight away.
‘What…? I am!’
Shaking his head, he held up his hands as if he surrendered. His forehead wrinkled as he frowned. It made me want to reach out and smooth it. When I took a step towards him, he backed up. I was staring but didn’t realise until he moved.
‘Sorry,’ I said, smiling. I must have seemed intense.
‘You’re such a contradiction,’ he muttered, turning towards the house.
‘What do you mean?’
He stopped but didn’t look back at me. He stayed still for a moment before spinning and coming to me in three big steps. Stopping right in front of me, he looked into my eyes.
‘One minute you’re up and the next you’re down. You’re hot and then you’re cold. You’re giving and then you’re withdrawing. It’s confusing to be around. I don’t know where I am with you, Pisces.’
The tone of his voice was harsh and I had to bite my lip. My defensive reaction wanted to be expr
essed but I stopped myself. What had the book said? Step back and allow the process of every emotion. Don’t try to push it away, or react when someone pushes your buttons. I closed my eyes briefly and felt the words pierce me.
‘I’m complex, I know that.’
I opened my eyes. His breath hit my face and I almost pulled back. I hadn’t realised how close he was.
‘You’re more than complex and it confuses the hell out of me.’
Smiling was the only thing I could do as the old companionship returned. He reached up to stroke my cheek with a quick brush of his fingers.
The screech of tyres caught our attention as Daniel’s car skidded to a halt next to us. He jumped out as Antony stepped away from me.
‘Pisces, I had to make sure you got home okay.’
Really…? That was a bit strange. He had my number. Why didn’t he just text?
‘As you can see, she’s fine,’ Antony said.
Daniel grinned in the direction of my bodyguard but didn’t look at him. Coming up to me, he put his hand on the back of my head. ‘I forgot to do something,’ he whispered.
Feeling disoriented, I didn’t stop him when his lips met mine in a rough kiss. His mouth was hard against mine and it felt wrong.
‘Get off her!’ Antony growled.
Antony ripped Daniel away and pushed him towards the car.
‘I just wanted to say goodbye properly. Night, Pisces, dream of me.’ He winked as he drove off.
‘What an arsehole. Are you seriously into him?’
My body shook. My thoughts swirled around my head. It had been such a lovely evening with Daniel. We laughed and joked as we ate. It was easy to talk to him. I felt that I could be myself when we were together. The kiss wasn’t right, though. I often day-dreamt about the type of kiss I would get from my beloved. The one I’d just experienced hadn’t been in my fantasies.
‘Are you okay?’
Antony took my hand but I shook him off. I needed to be alone.
‘I’m fine. I just want to go to bed,’ I said, leaving him on the pavement and making my way inside.
‘Pisces, we have to talk.’ My father caught me as I entered the hallway.
I sighed dramatically and followed him into his study. I wanted to go to bed. I knew I would drive myself insane by overthinking when I got there but was being alone too much to ask?
‘You forgot to mention one small detail when you came home yesterday.’ My father’s voice was stern and I shrunk as I sat in a chair.
‘Yes, I did forget,’ I replied.
How had I forgotten about the man with the grey eyes? My father needed to know everything that happened so he could protect me. I had failed to tell him about the men that had tried to attack me.
‘Well, it’s a good job your brother cares about you,’ he said, pointing to the back of the room.
I was so inside my own head, I hadn’t noticed Aries looking uncomfortable in a small chair behind me.
‘What are you doing here?’ I blurted.
‘Nice to see you, too,’ he replied, standing to stretch.
What was it with my family? It was as if they had an obsession and wouldn’t leave me alone. Yes, I was in danger, but I was safe in Father’s home. There was no need for them to be so anal about everything.
‘I know your mind is not really on your safety right now,’ Father started.
‘She’s in the typical runner stage,’ Aries interrupted.
I sat up and took notice as he placed himself on the edge of Father’s desk. He jiggled his knee up and down which made me wonder what was going on with him. I had never seen him so antsy before.
‘What does that mean?’ I snapped, annoyed that I had to ask.
‘The first stage is when you recognise your soulmate. The second is when you both start to push and pull. You try to run from each other. Sometimes one of you does it and then the other might do it too. It drives you insane!’
Standing, I faced him. I looked into his eyes and searched their fiery depths. His skin flushed and I smelt the faint smell of burning.
‘Aries, will you let go of my desk, please?’ Father said.
A thin line of smoke rose from where Aries gripped the wood with his hand. He let go and growled as he rushed out of the room.
‘He seems to know a lot considering he’s not going through it,’ I moaned, forgetting that Father was in the room.
‘How do you know he’s not going through it?’
He was right. Maybe Aries was running from the girl we had seen in the park.
‘You need to concentrate on you right now. Remember that surrender is the best way to see what’s right in front of you.’
The day’s events started to press on me. I was sick of being told what to do so I rushed up to my bedroom without saying anymore. Aries followed me.
‘What are you doing?’
Aries sat on my bed. ‘You need to stop fighting. I told Father about the club and the way you met the new man.’
‘Daniel…’
‘Whatever. And I’ve told him about the man that chased us, too.’
Sitting next to him, I unzipped my knee-high boots and kicked them off.
‘What have you got against Daniel? Why don’t you like him?’ I sat on the bed, crossing my legs under me.
‘You’re very perceptive on behalf of everyone else but you’re rubbish for yourself. Like most people I suppose.’
He was right. I could tell how someone felt just by looking at them. I could see the patterns that people played out when they couldn’t see it for themselves. Yet, here I was, unsure what was going on in my own heart.
‘Just keep open to everything. Stop resisting. I know I’m one to talk when it comes to fighting but in this case, fighting isn’t going to work. Just go with the flow.’
Aries had probably never spoken so poetically. He was usually jokey and always made me laugh. The words he had spoken were out of character for him. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear them coming from one of the others but certainly not the lady charmer.
‘Aries, is—?’
‘Night,’ he interrupted as he hopped off the bed and left.
I lay back but before I could take another breath, someone knocked on the door. I growled as it opened without my consent.
‘I need to talk to you,’ Antony said.
I stayed where I was, looking out of the window at the stars.
‘I don’t want to talk right now.’
He didn’t reply but the bed moved. I glanced round as he crawled next to me. I was about to shove him away, when I caught the look in his eyes.
‘I don’t know what to think about all this. Will you tell me more about your mission?’
He didn’t come too close. Laying on his side, he rested his head on the other pillow. My phone beeped. I reached over to the bedside table and read the text that Daniel had sent.
‘Yes, I’ll tell you about the mission,’ I started, putting the phone down. ‘Twin flame means soulmate. Before we’re born, we plan what will happen in the next lifetime. The twin flame relationship is one designed to push you to open in every possible way. Whatever wounds you’ve picked up as a child will be revealed so they can be released. You battle with your twin flame and heal, before you get together and live happily ever after.’ My cheeks heated when our gaze met. He looked into me and it felt as if he could see my soul.
‘Why twin flame? It sounds odd…’
‘Because your soul is one but it splits into two…the masculine and the feminine. Then both souls come to Earth. They meet, go through the whole cycle of falling in love, and then become one…which is the typical definition of a soulmate. Humans have named it twin flames…I have no idea why. However, it’s not an easy relationship, so not many people are successful in uniting.’
He reached towards my arm. It laid on the bed between us. He flicked the silver charm that was attached to my bracelet.
‘So you’re saying this is cosmically planned, before we’re eve
n born?’
I nodded. It did sound like something out of a fairy tale but it was the truth. ‘To be honest, I just relearnt most of it in a book that Father used to read to us. I had forgotten it all.’
‘And do you remember doing that?’
I swallowed. Most humans didn’t remember the reincarnation process. There would be too many memories to store. Their experience would also be clouded if they remembered previous lifetimes. The hundred and forty-four thousand twin flames needed to heal completely so that humanity could be healed. The only way for them to do that was to follow their own path in this lifetime.
‘It’s not that I remember doing it. I’ve been taught about the mission since I was born. We’re not here just to fall in love, we’re here to make sure that the Dysfunctionals no longer exist. That’s why we have our powers. I don’t need to grow as much as most souls so I agreed to do it, along with my siblings.’
Antony’s head moved against the pillow. I turned onto my side to face him. We weren’t touching but it was comfortable. He had agreed that we were friends so I had no worries about sharing this part of my life with him.
‘Have you ever wondered if it was all made up?’
I nodded. ‘You mean we’re just crazy?’
His cheeks flared red and I couldn’t stop the bubble of laughter that escaped me.
‘Not crazy, crazy but…I know you’re different. I’ve seen you breathe underwater. What I meant was, do you think your parents could have brainwashed you to believe something that was made up?’
The room was quiet as his words sank into me. I checked in with my heart to see if what he’d said resonated. It didn’t. It did sound weird to the average person but I wasn’t just anybody. And nor were my brothers and sisters.
‘No, I believe it. I’ve got to allow my life to play out as it needs to, instead of trying to control it.’
He shook his head again. I had the urge to reach out and still the movement. Instead I frowned.
‘Sorry,’ he mumbled.
‘I don’t get it either so I can’t expect you to.’
He grabbed my hand when I went to pull away. He had accused me of being contradictory earlier but now his moods were swinging all over the place. We looked into each other’s eyes. My heart raced and I found that I couldn’t look away. He was inches away on the bed. All of a sudden, what had seemed harmless, seemed too close for comfort. I didn’t move, though. I couldn’t burst the bubble of recognition.
[Zodiac Twin Flames 01.0 - 03.0] Boxed Set Page 9