‘Are you okay, Aries?’ The doctor put a hand on my arm. I didn’t shrug him off.
‘Why did you take them?’
My voice was quiet but my veins raged hot. They bubbled. I was ready to explode. I threw my arm over my eyes.
‘The damage was so bad, you would have died if we hadn’t made the decision to amputate.’
I lifted my arm to look at Pisces. ‘Did you let them?’
Tears poured down her pale cheeks. I felt nothing.
‘It was a joint decision. Your brothers and sisters wanted to save your life,’ the doctor said.
I shook my head and bit my tongue. The taste of metallic made me swallow. I had no legs. I could no longer walk.
‘You’re a fit and healthy young man. We have some wonderful options for you.’ The doctor spoke but I didn’t want to hear it.
‘I have no fucking legs!’ I screamed at him.
He nodded and stepped back. ‘I’d like to give you a sedative to calm you down.’
‘Go ahead, better being high than facing this,’ I muttered.
The nurse injected me. It wasn’t long until a dopey feeling enveloped what was left of my body. Pisces still held onto my hand. The touch was disconnected. I couldn’t look at her, although I could hear her sobs through the fog of the painkillers.
‘I think you should go home, Pisces.’
I heard Taurus and pulled my arm away from my eyes again.
‘I’m going to need a lot of your drugs, mate.’ I chuckled.
I didn’t know why I laughed, or even why I said what I did, but it was true. I needed to overdose and get the hell out of my body.
‘We’ll fix you up, don’t worry.’ He patted my arm awkwardly as he spoke.
‘No you won’t! Aries, you’re going to fight this! You can have new legs and learn to walk again.’ Pisces got in my face, her cheeks turning bright red as she gripped my fingers. A bubble of laughter climbed out of me and caught me unaware. The squeak made me jump, which made me chuckle harder.
‘There’s no point in talking to him right now, he’s high,’ Taurus said.
‘Now I know why you do it so much.’
‘Try to sleep.’ Pisces squeezed my hand, before releasing it.
The cold air rushed against my palm. The sensation made my attention focus on that one spot. I hadn’t realised how much I had needed Pisces in that moment.
‘Natalie…’ I blurted.
The others spoke between themselves as I struggled to stay awake but the drug pulled me under. I was thankful to leave the crap behind.
Chapter Four
‘No matter what happens, life goes on. People suffer endlessly, playing their private song.’
The lyrics sank into my bones as I came around. Leo strummed his guitar next to my head.
‘Shattered dreams, and loneliness, take a hold of me. Sensing love, and longing, is not meant for me.’
‘Shut up,’ I managed to rasp.
He stopped and looked at me. Dark circles framed his eyes. His dark blond hair was fluffy, which was unusual for him. The cause of the dishevelled look was revealed when he rubbed his hand over his hair vigorously. Why did my brothers do that?
‘I haven’t got anything to say to you,’ he said, leaning on the sunburst acoustic guitar.
I was tempted to try and sit up. I was stiff from so much lying around.
‘Good, it’s better that way.’
I tried to pull myself up but struggled. There was a nurse in the room. She came over and pressed a button to elevate me. As the bed settled into place, I came face to face with the empty part of the mattress that should have had my legs on it.
I grabbed the cover and pulled it up the bed. I glanced around the room. Pisces was asleep on a chair in the corner.
‘She’s been here every day since the accident,’ Leo said.
I nodded, knowing it was true. She was a rescuer. She would do anything for those she loved. I was grateful that she obviously loved me that much. I had no idea why. I didn’t deserve it.
The cover lifted to reveal my bandaged stumps. I swallowed hard. A part of me was grateful that I originally had long legs so my thighs were still a decent length.
‘It feels like they’re still there.’
My body was numb, my brain was calm. I had no idea how. Maybe it was the aftereffects of the sedation but the burning heat had left my veins. For now.
‘That’s quite normal,’ the nurse said.
She was a middle aged woman with greying hair. She was professional and efficient.
‘I’m a firefighter,’ I told her.
She nodded as a sad smile crossed her face. Pity.
I would no longer be a firefighter. I would no longer be able to help my brothers and sisters rescue our father. I would no longer be able to achieve my mission. Who would want a soulmate with no legs? My blood started to heat again so I threw the cover back over my stumps.
‘Father…?’ I asked Leo without looking at him.
‘We went back to the house and interrogated our love birds. They have no idea who we are, which is a bonus, but also puzzling. They can’t tell Nick that we interrogated them because their secret rendezvous would be revealed. It seems that Nick’s main house is just north of London. We even got an address.’
I nodded, proud of my siblings.
‘Have you been there yet?’ It was a lot better talking about something other than me.
‘We’ve had a look but we were waiting for you.’
My muscles clenched. ‘Why? I can’t bloody walk anymore. How am I going to help with the rescue?’
Leo flinched. Pisces woke up. I had raised my voice. I didn’t feel guilty. What a stupid thing to say to me.
‘You’re the mastermind leader. It’s you that charges ahead with everything. We can’t do that without you.’ Leo stood his ground.
Pisces rubbed her eyes and came to the other side of the bed. She took my hand. I squeezed it before letting it go. There was no point in pussyfooting around me anymore. I glanced down at the remainder of my legs. It was time to deal or die.
‘That’s stupid. Of course you can do it without me.’
‘We don’t want to do it without you,’ Leo murmured.
I glared at him. Why was he being so—
‘Aries needs to concentrate on getting fit again,’ Pisces said to Leo. ‘There are a few options. The doctor would like to discuss them with you.’ She looked at me.
My teeth almost fused together as I gritted them. I hated being treated like a child, even if she was just trying to help. I nodded stiffly as my neck muscles tried to disobey me.
‘The doctor is due round soon. In the meantime, I think you need to eat,’ the nurse said, leaving us to it.
‘What am I going to do?’ I looked into Pisces’ eyes. She didn’t look away.
‘You are going to fight! It’s what you do best, Aries. We will not let you give up.’
Her words sank into me. Leo grabbed my hand but didn’t say anything. When the first sob erupted from me Pisces took my other hand as they both averted their gaze. I couldn’t control myself. My chest shook and tears ran down my face. It was the end of my life. There was no point in me being there. I ripped my hand away from Leo and wiped my face on the bed covers. I threw my arm over my face, unable to stop the gut wrenching sobs that overtook me.
‘Aries…?’
The soft voice made me stop instantly. What the hell was she doing here?
‘Please go away,’ I muttered from behind my arm.
Pisces let go of me as my siblings moved away. A soft touch on my arm made me jump slightly but otherwise I didn’t react.
‘Taurus called me. He said that you asked for me.’
Taking my arm away, I looked into her dark eyes. Her hair flowed around her face and she wore a spring dress. She took my breath away. I usually only saw her in fitness clothes. She looked stunning now.
‘I don’t remember.’
She reached forward.
I flinched when she wiped a tear from the corner of my eye. I clenched the bed covers in my hands. I couldn’t believe Taurus had called Natalie. I didn’t want her to see me like this.
‘Why are you here?’ My tone was sharp. I wanted her gone.
‘Because I care about you. I’m not going to let you push me away anymore.’ She pinched the skin on my hand as hard as she could. A bolt of pain shot through me. A tiny spark made me glare at her. How dare she make me feel alive when I wanted to die?
‘I don’t want you here.’ I tried to disconnect from her but she held on and leant into my face.
‘You don’t have a choice,’ she hissed, refusing to let me look away from the heat in her eyes.
The corner of my lip betrayed me by quirking into my cheek. She was a fighter, too, just like me. She had given up before. Let me leave when I needed to. Backed off when I pushed her away.
‘You—’ I started.
‘I’m staying so you better get used to it. Don’t worry, I won’t be here all the time, but I’m not putting up with anymore of your crap.’
I heard Pisces giggle in the corner and turned my gaze on her. ‘Why are you laughing?’ I snapped.
She shrugged, the grin not leaving her face. It made me grip the covers even tighter.
‘Here we go, some food for you,’ the nurse announced coming back into the room. ‘There are too many people in here now. Someone is going to have to leave.’ The nurse put a covered plate on the table and wheeled it over my bed. I cringed when the top of my legs went out of sight and all I could see was the empty bed.
‘They can all go,’ I said, looking down at the food on my plate.
I wasn’t hungry but the change in routine helped. Pisces and Leo left. Natalie stayed. I didn’t look at her as I ate. I hadn’t eaten in front of her for years.
‘How are you feeling?’
The dreaded question entered the air. I wanted to grab it back and ram it down her throat. The thought was violent but I couldn’t handle her being there. I didn’t want her seeing me with no legs.
‘How do you think?’ I answered, talking with a mouthful of mashed potato.
‘Don’t be like that.’ She sat in the chair and leant her elbows on her knees. Her long legs were bare. My gaze travelled up them. She had a little headband over the front of her hair. It plumped it up and made her look girly.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t think,’ she muttered, pulling her dress as low over her legs as it would go.
‘Don’t worry,’ I said with my mouth full, spitting potato everywhere.
When she giggled, I lifted my fork and pretended to throw it at her. I stopped myself when she sat back and crossed her legs. They were toned, pale and very sexy.
‘I’ve lost my sexy legs.’
‘Do you think I’ve got sexy legs then?’ She tried to joke. Her pretend laughter fell flat. She was trying to lighten the mood. It wasn’t going to work.
‘Not as sexy as mine.’ I tried to bend my legs in reflex but nothing happened.
My fork clattered to the plate. Natalie’s face closed in on itself. I had to look away. I shoved the little table and the metal plate clattered to the floor. The nurse came in and started to clean it up without saying a word.
‘I want to be alone.’
I couldn’t look at Natalie. I hadn’t had a moment to myself since I had woken up. She stood and came to stand next to me. Our gaze met. She had a determined look to her expression. Why was she so desperate to be there?
‘I know it may seem—’
‘Save the pep talk, I—’
‘No! You listen to me.’ She grabbed my chin, getting in my face. ‘For six years you’ve been pushing me away. You want me, and then you don’t. There’s a reason for that and I want to find out why. I care for you much more than you realise. This is the worst thing you’ve ever had to go through, Aries, and I’m going to be there every step of the way…whether you like it, or not.’
I opened my mouth to respond. She pressed her lips to mine in a harsh kiss. When she pulled away, she spun and stormed out of the room. I had never seen her so passionate before.
‘The doctor will be here soon. If you need anything, just press the button.’ The nurse took out my mashed up leftovers.
Once the door had closed, I took in a breath right down to my stomach. I closed my eyes and saw Natalie’s fierce face. Why the hell had she come? And why did she want to be there for me? I was a cripple with no legs.
I sat stewing in my own pity, scowling when I was interrupted by the doctor coming in.
‘Aries, I’m here to talk to you about your options.’
I nodded as he stood by the bed.
‘Your wounds are healing nicely. We want to talk about getting you out of here. Life can go on as normal for you. You’re lucky. You have a lot of thigh left to work with.’
His words were professional but every one of them sent a bolt of anger up my arms. I was lucky? Did he know me?
‘I was a fireman,’ I said.
‘Yes, you were,’ he said, looking me directly in the eye. ‘Now, let’s talk about the options. You may have seen people in the Paralympics with prosthetic legs. They’re very flexible and make getting around a lot easier.’
‘You think I’ll be able to walk? With both my legs gone?’
The doctor smiled gently and patted my hand. ‘You’re a very fit young man. I have every faith that you will be walking in no time.’
I swallowed a couple of times. I looked away from the grey haired doctor and caught the sun shining out the window. I hadn’t noticed that the sky was bright blue. It was a lovely late spring day and the birds were singing loudly.
‘There is a fairly new clinical operation that has been quite successful. It’s called ITAP, which stands for Intraosseous Transcutaneous Amputation Prosthesis. I’ve checked your stumps. You’re a perfect candidate to have the procedure. It’s currently only available in the UK. We attach the ITAP directly to your femur, which helps to allow soft tissue to grow around the implant. We leave a small attachment point sticking out of your stump. You will then be able to attach any prosthetic you like. Other amputees have reported that because the bone is weight baring, they can stand all day long. They can also feel where to put their prosthesis through their skeleton.’
I glanced at the doctor. ‘Really?’
‘Yes. There are other options—’
‘I want that one!’ I blurted.
The doctor laughed. ‘Well, you’ll have some time to think. I’ll be back tomorrow. Talk it over with your loved ones. Then you can ask me any questions you like. Here’s some information on your options.’
He put the paperwork on the bedside cabinet.
‘If I went for the operation, when could I have it?’
‘ASAP. We would talk about that when you’ve made your decision.’ The doctor went to leave but I called him back.
‘I’ve made my decision. I’m determined to walk again. I want the operation.’
Chapter Five
My legs pumped under me and blood rushed through my veins. Wind stroked my cheeks and pushed back my hair. I didn’t have hair, did I? I reached up and felt curls. I never let my hair grow out. Why now?
The leaves under my feet crunched as I tripped over a tree root. The branches above me swung delicately as my harsh panting echoed through the woods. Were they chasing me? Or, was I chasing something? I couldn’t remember.
‘I’m through here!’
The feminine voice set my blood racing even more. It was her.
‘Coming…!’ I called, running in the direction her voice had come from.
I heard a giggle and my own laughter echoed around me. I spun around a tree and came to a clearing. There was a patch of green grass surrounded by trees. She was lying down in the sun. The light illuminated her and it took my breath away. Her dark hair was fanned out against the grass. Her skin was bare. Her gown was lying on the ground nearby. She was ready for me.
‘Father agreed to the marriage,’ she whispered as I came closer.
‘Yes…we should wait.’ A sudden urge to do the right thing overcame me.
She giggled again so I dropped to her side. The spring of the grass caught my knees as I leant over her. She looked at me with hooded eyes. My gaze roamed over her long curved body. I swallowed and reached out to stroke her cheek.
‘I’ve always loved you,’ she whispered.
‘And I, you,’ I whispered back, leaning down and touching my lips to hers.
Her body arched towards me. I bent closer. I had to have her. My betrothed. My future bride. She reached up to my chainmail and tried to pull it off. I kissed her neck and her hands fell away. Pulling her up, I sat down as she climbed on my lap. Running my hands up her back, I paused when I heard a whooshing sound. Her body thrust forward. She froze as a small cry fell from her lips. I glanced over her shoulder to see an arrow sticking out of her back.
‘No!’ I cried as I laid her on her side.
The arrowhead was embedded deep, just below her shoulder blade. It had hit her heart.
‘Don’t leave me,’ I whispered, kissing her cheek.
‘I’m not going…’ Her eyes glazed over.
A rush of fire flooded me.
I jumped up and charged towards the wooded area that the arrow had come from. As I crashed through the trees, I caught sight of him on the back of a horse.
‘I’m sorry but it had to be done,’ he called.
A blaze shot through me as I cupped my hands together. The flames sparked and grew into a ball. I held a mass of fire. I would not miss my target. I closed my eyes and felt the movement of his horse with my senses. He knew what I was doing. We had been in this position a few times before. I was getting sick of him killing my soulmate.
‘It did not have to be done!’ I cried, throwing the ball.
The scream made me open my eyes. I did a victory dance when the ball exploded onto his head. He kicked the horse’s sides and she sped him away. His cries of agony drifted back to me. I swore. I wanted to kill him but I couldn’t. It was a curse.
The constant travelling to Earth, finding my true love and losing her by the hand of the man that I had failed to kill, was starting to grate on me. When we had last been in spirit, they had asked us if we wanted our memories wiped. Most of the others had agreed but I refused. What a fool I had been not to accept. Next time, I would succeed in uniting with my soulmate and nothing would stop me.
[Zodiac Twin Flames 01.0 - 03.0] Boxed Set Page 18