by Ally James
“Ugh, that’s nasty. Don’t worry about it, though, honey, we’ve all given a few mercy dates. Aren’t you glad you dumped his ass?”
“Looks like he’s found the perfect woman for him now.” One of them cackled so loudly, it hurt Sara’s ears.
“Exactly. I’ve moved on. He was never anything more than a stepping-stone for me. Now Jared, he’s on the fast track—and I’ll be along for the ride. I’ll be a colonel’s wife by this time next year.”
She heard the sound of the door opening, then their voices faded away. The quiet was almost oppressive now. Her chest was so tight, she felt as if she couldn’t breathe. When dark spots began to dance before her, she knew she was going to pass out unless she got control. Picturing Melanie and her friends standing over her should that happen was the only thing that centered her. She stood up on shaky legs and forced herself to inhale slowly. She didn’t know how long she’d been gone, but it had obviously been a while.
GABE: Angel—where are you?
She knew he wasn’t to blame for what happened in the women’s restroom, but facing him now was the last thing she wanted. There was no way she could go back out there and sit for hours while pretending to be okay. Because she was far from that. The happy glow of the last few days was ruined, and she needed space to process.
SARA: I’m in the bathroom. Not feeling well.
GABE: I’ll collect our coats and be right there, sweetheart.
Much like the man himself, his response was perfect. Which somehow made it even worse, with her own self-confidence in tatters.
There’s no way he could love me. They were right.
She had barely processed that depressing thought when he sent her another message.
GABE: I’m outside the door. Do you need me to come in and help you?
SARA: No, I’ll be right out.
She quickly washed up and attempted to steady herself. She hoped that he would attribute her pallor to illness rather than what it really was. I don’t want to face him. Should have never come.
His eyes were full of concern when she stepped out. She had to blink back tears when he extended a hand to feel her forehead for fever. “What happened, Angel? Should we stop at the emergency room?”
She looked away, hoping he couldn’t see the truth. “It’s—probably something I ate. Could we go now?”
He put his coat on, then helped her do the same. His arm went around her shoulders, cradling her gently against him. “Absolutely. The valet should have the truck waiting out front.”
They were almost to the front door when Jason stopped them. “Hey, you all right, Sara?”
Please let me get out of here. She knew she didn’t have to pretend to be sick because she sounded so shaky when she said, “Just—want to lie down. I’ll be fine.”
“Call me if you need anything, brother,” he said in a voice devoid of humor for the first time that night.
She glanced up briefly when he said good-bye, and wished she hadn’t. He knows. Which seemed impossible. Yet it was there, as he studied her thoughtfully. She turned away, not wanting her face to reveal more. The trip home seemed endless. Luckily, Gabe suggested she put her head back and close her eyes, which she did. Even so, she could feel his gaze on her at times during the drive. She knew he was worried, but short of telling him exactly what happened, there was nothing she could do about it. And that was something she wasn’t ready for yet—if ever. She knew it was simply the opinions of a handful of mean women. Yet their arrows had struck every weak spot that existed in her armor.
“We’re home, Angel,” Gabe said softly as he rubbed her arm. He came around to her side and helped her out. When they walked into the kitchen, Trouble barked in excitement from his kennel. As if sensing something amiss, he quieted after a few whines. “Let’s get you changed, then you can lie down, sweetheart.”
“I’m going to wash my face and go to bed,” she murmured. “Really, I’ll be just fine.” She forced herself to lift her eyes from his chest, to his face. He was worried, that was clear. And he didn’t like leaving her alone. Please go. Just—go.
He dropped a kiss onto her forehead. “Call out if you need me.” She nodded, and once she’d walked a few steps away, he added, “Thank you for tonight . . . you made this the best event I’ve ever attended.”
She murmured something she hoped he’d take as a passable response and shut her door behind her. She crossed to the bed and sank down on it, expecting the floodgates to open wide. Yet—strangely enough—they didn’t. After barely holding herself together for the last hour, it was almost anticlimactic. She was curiously blank. She had no desire to get up, nor did she fall asleep. Instead, she stared at the wall for over two hours. At one point, she heard Gabe pause in the hallway before continuing on to his room.
She needed her cousin. She still had no desire to talk to Gabe, yet she did want to unburden herself to someone. So she pulled off her dress and tossed it in the corner. She couldn’t imagine wanting to wear it again. They had ruined what she’d once considered so beautiful. Removing it somehow helped to cleanse away some of the pain.
Her purse, which contained her phone, was nowhere to be found. Then she vaguely remembered Gabe carrying it from the truck. She stood, undecided, not wanting to risk waking him. Finally, she eased the door open and crept down the hall. She checked the kitchen first, but ultimately found it on the couch in the living room. Unfortunately, Trouble appeared, startling a small squeak from her before she clamped a hand over her mouth. She lowered herself into Gabe’s recliner and flipped the nearby lamp on. She sat quietly, listening for any sounds from the other end of the house, but there was only silence. She patted Trouble’s head while feeling around for the bag she had dropped next to the chair. Her fingers touched something, and she lifted it. Only instead of her purse, it was a manila envelope. Shrugging, she put it on the table in front of her, then froze.
She picked it back up, inspecting the front of the envelope, where her name was carefully written. But other than that, there was no other writing on it. She knew it was an invasion of Gabe’s privacy, but she couldn’t stop herself from sliding a finger under the edge to carefully break the seal, before upending it onto the table. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but the stack of envelopes that fell out took her by surprise. Then the smell of her perfume reached her and she knew. My letters. Her gaze fell on one after another, surprised to find them so worn. They appeared to be years old, instead of months.
The sudden thump of Trouble’s tail was the first indication that she wasn’t alone. She tensed, hoping he wasn’t standing there—but her luck had completely deserted her tonight. Gabe’s eyes went to the stack of mail, then back to her. “I meant to put that away.” She swallowed hard when she saw he was wearing only a pair of boxer briefs. Even in the midst of emotional turmoil, she couldn’t help admiring his lean, chiseled body.
“You kept them,” she murmured as she laid aside the letter she was holding.
“Of course.” He moved closer, taking a seat on the couch. He picked up the same paper and brought it to his nose. “I loved that my locker in Iraq smelled like you. Hell, my whole room did. And it was oddly . . . soothing. It made it feel as if you were there. Like any moment you would come through the door. I had a routine I followed almost every day. I’d read your e-mails, then go through all of these. They made me smile. Gave me hope for something outside my military service.” She felt a tear trickle down her cheek, but she didn’t bother brushing it away, since another was already falling. He paused so long, she thought he wasn’t going to say anything more. He appeared to be lost in his thoughts as he stared at the floor.
“Gabe,” she prompted, sensing there was more.
“Falling in love with you before we even met was the most fanciful thing I’ve ever done. There is absolutely no reason it should have made it past me coming home. Yet—even w
hen I was angry, I still craved your presence. Being back in the States only made me want to be with you so badly, it was damn near a physical pain.” He moved closer and reached out to cup her cheek. “If you hadn’t come here, I wouldn’t have been able to stay away for long. Regardless of what I said about ending anything between us, I was losing my mind. I’ve never been in love before. I was determined not to put the stress of my life onto the shoulders of another. But—I never counted on you, Angel. I knew for certain I was in love with you when I became incapable of rational thought. I’ve had an explanation or a plan of action for everything in my life—until you. I finally came to the realization that things are different with you because I lead with my heart. It doesn’t have to fit into some neat, logical box. There’s simply the way I feel.”
Sara felt as if she’d been given everything she could ever want—and more. The crippling doubts and insecurities she’d suffered earlier were clearing—and, in their place, was an affirmation that this amazing man was not only her present but her future as well. She wanted to belong to him in every way. It was past time to cement their bond. And she needed to be the one to take the leap, not only for him but for herself. She would not let a bunch of jealous, catty women ruin what they had. Gabe had made himself vulnerable to her several times now, and he deserved no less from her. So she took a breath and she jumped, never doubting he would catch her.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Gabe felt sweat beginning to bead on his forehead. Even with Sara’s sudden illness at the end of the evening, this was the best night of his life. Having her with him at the ball had been so natural—so right. He’d proudly introduced her as his girlfriend to his colleagues and their spouses. But secretly, he longed to call her his wife instead. Was that crazy to have such a sudden bond with someone? Yes—and no. They had known each other for seven months. It may not have been a conventional courtship, but he knew instinctively that they were meant to be together. Hell, he’d sensed it from the very first e-mail. No matter how much he tried to second-guess it, his gut said it was right.
When a sound had woken him, he figured it was either Trouble destroying the Christmas tree or Sara being sick. He saw the light in the living room and stopped in his tracks when he found her with the letters. He was almost as surprised as she likely was when he poured out his heart. He thought her tears were the happy kind, yet she still hadn’t said anything. Should have stayed quiet. Too soon. She stood, and he thought she was leaving. Only instead of walking past him, she came to a halt inches away. Then she shocked the hell out of him by lowering herself onto his lap until she was facing him. “Angel, what—” He didn’t finish his sentence, though. How could he when she was lowering her mouth to his? She moved slowly, as if unsure of herself, and he was too riveted to be of much help. He was as alpha as the next guy—probably more so—but he wanted her to be the one to initiate anything between them. He’d been so damned unsure of where they stood lately, so this was an important, and much needed, step forward. She kept her eyes open as she made contact. The fact that they were staring at each other while kissing would be comical if it wasn’t so hot.
He was tempted to take control, but he held off, waiting for her next move. When her tongue darted out to lick the seam of his lips, he could take it no more—and apparently, neither could Trouble. The dog let out a howl that was clearly meant to ruin the moment, but there was no way Gabe was going to let that happen. They needed to relocate, but he couldn’t bear to let her go. As he shifted, attempting to get to his feet, she muttered crossly, “Can you work with me here, Randall?”
“I am, Angel.” He grinned, nodding in Trouble’s direction. “Unless you want a threesome, we need to move.” She giggled when the dog whimpered again. “Wrap your legs around my waist,” he instructed as he put his hands on her ass. Then he stepped around his dog and walked down the hallway. By the time he made it to his bedroom, he’d bounced them off the wall twice. In hindsight, sucking on her tongue while walking in the dark wasn’t the best idea. But it was fucking hot. He set her on her feet before flipping on the bedside lamp.
She stepped back when he attempted to undress her. He almost panicked, thinking he’d surely die on the spot of blue balls if she was having a change of heart. She’s still here, that’s a good sign. “I—want to do it . . . for you. Is that okay?” It was too dim to see if her face was flushed, but he would bet anything it was flaming. Seriously, though, it was the sexiest thing she could have said to him in that moment.
“Angel, I’d love it.” He took a seat on the edge of the bed, leaving his boxers on, even though his cock was damn near bursting out. Let her set the pace. She grasped the waistband of her bottoms, then seemed to think better of it, and started with the top instead. Hell, he didn’t care either way as long as the end result was naked. The strip show wasn’t exactly what he imagined, though. Her movements were so fast, he could hardly track them. He thought he caught a glimpse of a nipple before she bent to deal with the last of her clothing.
He was pretty sure pants were normally dropped that fast only in the event of an emergency. Now that’s what I call enthusiasm—or terror. He hoped it was the former. He wondered fleetingly if she had been commando. That question was answered in the next moment when Trouble appeared from seemingly nowhere with something in his mouth. Gabe figured it was another ornament from the tree. Thank God they’d bought plastic ones.
It must have been one of her favorites, because Sara shrieked and began trying to wrestle it from his mouth. “You bad boy! Give those back. I swear, where did you come from?” She glared over at Gabe as she continued to struggle with her furry nemesis. “If you weren’t going to shut the door, why did we come in here? We could be getting it on out there. That’s on my bucket list, you know.”
He was so distracted by her bouncing tits, and her ass, that he could hardly focus. The only things he picked up from the exchange were the words “getting it on” and “bucket list.” “Um—Angel, just let him have the damned thing. I don’t care if he eats it, as long as he goes away. They’re all a dime a dozen anyway. His slobber might be an improvement.”
He got to his feet, intent on getting rid of the little cockblocker. But she blocked his path, scowling at him with her hands on her hips. Sweet Jesus, I want to suck those. “Baby?” She called him an endearment, and he loved it, yet—the tone was all wrong. Go ahead and apologize. You screwed up somehow. I swear that mutt is getting the cheap dog food for this.
He struggled to make eye contact with the naked woman of his dreams. I’m a mere guy, not a saint.
“You do realize he has my panties, right? Granted, they might not be the most expensive ones a woman can buy, but I assure you they cost more than the figure you named. And—having your dog eat them is not one of my kinks.” Oh shit. Her serious expression slid away, and a giggle escaped. He found himself grinning as well. There was no possible way that either of them would ever forget their first time. Between her frantic disrobing, and Trouble turning into some canine panty pervert, it was one for the record books. If he got lucky after this, it would be a miracle. Speaking of. She was so close to him now that her nipples were nearly touching his chest. One step forward and we have contact, folks.
“I’ll buy you more,” he offered. “I say we call them collateral damage for now and think big picture. I’ll shove him out into the hall and then we pick up where we left off.”
He half expected her to change her mind, but she nodded in resignation. “Oh, all right. Hurry up, I’m getting cold.” Again, with the enthusiasm. He wasn’t offended by her sarcasm, though. In fact, he thought it was an indication of how comfortable they were together. They’d teased each other all the time when he was in Iraq. But there was an adjustment period in a situation such as theirs, and they had both struggled with it.
Gabe took Trouble to the kitchen and bribed Sara’s panties away from him with some dog treats. He resisted the urge to gawk at them a
s he tossed the scrap of silk into the trash. He’d replace them with a new, slobber-free pair. He shook his head as he retraced his steps. You can’t make this shit up.
His body was in overdrive when he returned to find Sara on her side, fast asleep. He couldn’t believe it at first. Really? Clearly, he’d pissed off the man upstairs at some point. A snore filled the room—wait, was she choking? He inched closer, peering down at her. And she almost gave him a heart attack by rolling over onto her back and laughing. “Angel—are you stoned?”
“I couldn’t resist.” She chuckled. “This whole seduction I attempted to pull off has been a train wreck. I figured the only thing left was one of us passing out.”
He shifted until his cock was an inch away from her face. “I can assure you that it won’t be me, sweetheart. I’ve managed to stay hard through my dog eating your undies, and you being bored-to-sleep in my bed.” He bent down until he was hanging over her. “But now I’m going to take the edge off by devouring you. Sound good?”
She inhaled audibly. “Yes—please.” Now that he knew it was going to happen, he attempted to slow the momentum, wanting nothing more than to fully pleasure her. He took her lips, letting his tongue explore her mouth, while he nudged her legs apart and lowered his body onto hers. The thin material of his boxers was all that separated them as he ground against her. The friction was exquisite torture, but her moans told him that she was enjoying it. Between the endless kiss and the damp heat he could feel through his briefs, he was getting closer to the edge. Time to shift the focus. He stepped off the bed and put his hands on her hips, turning her until her legs were dangling over the side. “What are you doing?” she asked in a voice heavy with desire. You haven’t seen anything yet, Angel. He didn’t respond until he was on his knees between her spread legs. “Ohhh.” He detected a hint of embarrassment, but she wouldn’t be able to focus on that for long, he’d make sure of it.