The way Tracy said it made me believe she was hiding something. “Like who?” I pressed.
“I mean, I figured it would be rude to not let Bruce join us after he single-handedly saved your life.” Tracy started flipping through a magazine.
“Oh, yes, obviously,” I agreed. “It would be really uncouth to not take him to Prom.”
She groaned. “What was I supposed to do?”
I thought about my conversation with Bruce, and how what he needed was a positive experience with a great girl.
But of course there was no way I could let Tracy know that.
“Oh, Tracy, the sacrifices you make for me,” I teased. “Having to endure a hot Australian guy who is crazy about you at a dance? You should be up for sainthood.”
Tracy looked at me with a serious expression. “Thank you for finally realizing that.” She put her hand up to her heart. “I fear that I’m not appreciated in my time. It’s nice to know that someone recognizes my hardships.”
Diane and I burst into laughter at the same time. Tracy leaned back in her seat and did her best to ignore us. She failed miserably.
“You guys are the worst,” she scolded. “I should tell him no.”
“No!” I protested a bit too much. “Bruce should come. He’s fun, you’re fun. Add the two together and it would be an insanely good time. Plus, Tyson needs some company.”
“And Glen,” Diane added.
“Who’s Glen?” I asked.
Diane and Tracy looked at each other in alarm.
“What am I missing?”
Diane started speaking very slowly to me. “Glen is the guy Hilary has started dating. She was talking to you about it when you passed out.”
The memory was hazy, but it was there. “Oh, yeah, right. I remember something about that. That’s cool. Any other guys joining the crew?”
“I think that’s it. For now,” Tracy said.
“What does that mean? Are you planning on breaking more hearts?”
Tracy grabbed a pillow and held it over her head. “You should be lucky that you’re in such a delicate condition or I’d so knock you on the head for that. I was simply implying that we’d be open to other guys coming. You know, like Ryan.”
Ryan.
I was about to come clean about what had happened yesterday, but something held me back.
I tried to play it off. “Well, I guess we’ll see who he ends up going with.”
Diane tried to match my aloofness. “Yeah — I mean, it would be nice to have him. I don’t think he’s planning on taking anybody, you know, outside of the group. Whatever.” She grabbed the remote and started flipping channels.
Diane was many things, but she wasn’t a good liar. It was pretty clear that she and Ryan had already discussed Prom arrangements.
I decided to call her bluff. “Yeah, I guess we’ll see. What to the evs.”
“Hey!” Tracy cried. “Can people stop stealing my line? I’ve so got to look into getting a copyright on that.”
The three of us spent the rest of the evening watching TV and making the occasional comment about music for the dance-a-thon. But there was, thankfully, no more discussion of Prom, dresses, or dates.
I had other things to think about.
Well, only one thing.
Make that one person.
It was something I’d never thought would happen, yet here it was.
Ryan and I were spending a Saturday night together.
Since I wasn’t allowed to leave home until I was better, and the Club was meeting at Diane’s for the evening, I had nothing to do but sit at home.
And Ryan always knew the best way to my heart was through my stomach.
“What will people think?” he joked as he set down the pizza he’d brought. “Penny Lane Bloom spending a Saturday night with a boy!”
“I know — don’t get used to it,” I fired back as I grabbed a slice. My appetite had come back with such ferocity, I was secretly hoping Ryan had already eaten so I could have the pizza all to myself.
“Oh, I won’t. I know better.” He grabbed one of the smaller slices.
We’d spent the last couple days sending clandestine texts and living in the bubble where I didn’t have to worry about the reality that existed outside my home.
But now reality was visiting.
“So my mom has signed the family up for the dance-a-thon.” He leaned back on the couch. “I hope you can save at least one dance for me.”
“It depends on how much of that pizza you plan on eating.” I started in on my second slice.
“Fine.” He wiped his hands after he finished his piece. “Although without food, I’m bound to get really, really tired.” He moved over so his head was on my shoulder. I slouched so I could put my head next to his. But then I needed to move to get more food.
“Sorry,” I apologized as he was forced to sit up. Then I made a huge deal of giving him another slice. “You’ve got to keep your strength up. I wouldn’t want you to get sick, too.”
“Well, I think we’re a little late on that one.” He leaned over and kissed me. I pushed my plate away as we put our arms around each other.
Time once again melted away as we held each other and kissed. Our moment was interrupted by the rumbling of my stomach. I was planning to ignore it, but Ryan was shaking.
I pulled away. “Are you laughing?”
“Sorry. Clearly, you need to eat, so please.” He handed me back my plate. “We’ve got all night.”
The thought of that made me feel increasingly better. In an effort to keep up my strength for the remainder of the evening, I started eating again.
Ryan reached for a slice but then took his hand away.
“Seriously, you can have one more slice,” I said. “I’m not that big of a pig.” Plus, I wanted him to have enough carbs in him for another marathon make-out session.
“You’re the boss,” he said as he grabbed another slice.
“I’m glad you realize my role in this —” I took a huge bite before I let relationship slip out of my mouth. I wasn’t ready to define what “this” was.
“Oh, I know.” He took an obedient bite of pizza. “You’re so bossy.”
“I am not! Tracy’s the bossy one,” I protested with a full mouth.
Ryan relented. “Okay, maybe bossy isn’t the right word.”
“Thank you.”
“More like intimidating.”
“I’m so not intimidating,” I argued.
His eyes got wide. “Of course not.”
“Are you being sarcastic?” I nudged him. Ryan wasn’t the sarcastic type. That role was usually left to me.
“Noooo.” He winked at me.
“Okay, so is telling me how bossy and intimidating I am your attempt to woo me?”
He raised his eyebrow. “So you’re willing to be wooed?”
“Not anymore.” I crossed my arms and pretended to sulk.
“Oh, come here.” He reached out and wrapped his arms around me. We both sank back into the cushions of the couch. “You’re beautiful, funny, smart, and, yes, a little intimidating.”
“Whatever,” I replied, even though I was soaking in all the other things he said about me. Ryan still liked me. And I still liked him. The only problem was how I was going to make everything work. I had nothing but time now that I was under house arrest, but things would change once I got back to school. Plus, things were better for him. Would it all come crumbling down if we started dating again? The last thing I wanted to do was cause him any more harm.
He laughed. “Okay, you do realize the problem that Todd has with you is that he’s so used to intimidating people and getting what he wants with only a look. You not only turned him down on a date, you clearly do not care one bit about him. It drives him nuts.”
I sat back up. “So you and Todd are friends again?” Because last I knew, they weren’t really speaking. And I actually preferred it that way, since while I wasn’t sure how good I was for Ryan, I
knew that Todd was nothing but trouble. For Ryan or anybody else on the planet that required oxygen.
“Not really. I don’t want any more problems, so I’m not giving him the cold shoulder, but things with us will never be the same. He’s changed. I have other friends I’d rather spend time with.” He shrugged his shoulders indifferently. “And this was my choice, Penny. It had nothing to do with you. It never did.”
But it did. It wasn’t that I thought the earth revolved around me, but Todd and Ryan had been inseparable until I’d come along with The Lonely Hearts Club.
Ryan could sense I wasn’t ready to talk about it. He laughed. “I do love that the only thing that rattles him is a girl who has zero respect for him.”
“Are there people who actually respect Todd?” I shuddered exaggeratedly. “I question humanity.”
“Let’s not talk about Todd.” Ryan pulled me in.
“But whatever are we going to do?” I feigned innocence.
He didn’t answer. Instead, he kissed me again. His lips were soft, but there was a sense of urgency behind the kiss. I closed my eyes and relished every minute of it, not knowing how many more minutes like this we’d have.
I was getting better and it wouldn’t be long before I had to head back into the real world.
I HAD GOTTEN USED TO THE whispers that followed me around as I walked the hallways at school. At first it was as the “pathetic” and “lonely” girl who’d started The Lonely Hearts Club.
Now it seemed I was the girl who’d fainted.
Tracy had warned me that the rumors about what had happened to me ranged from me being drunk or anorexic to me being so devastated about my breakup with Ryan that I couldn’t handle a task as simple as walking down the hallway.
If they only knew.
I ignored the stares as I walked into school. Ryan and I had texted all day Sunday, but we’d kept things light. And I wanted it to stay that way. My few days off had been nice, but I had to get back to the dance-a-thon. And the Club. And schoolwork.
But still …
There was this voice in my head that kept trying to convince me it could work again.
I shook the thoughts from my head as I went to my locker, realizing there was no reason to stay away from it any longer. Ryan wasn’t there, so I didn’t have to worry about any awkward encounters this morning.
And at the same time, I knew what I really wanted was to kiss him again.
If only a relationship could be as simple as a kiss.
There was an extra buzz of excitement before the first bell rang.
“Ugh,” Tracy said as she sat next to me in Trig. “Why do people find this so exciting?”
“Find what so exciting?” I was clueless about what was going on.
“Prom court announcement.” She gestured to the speaker in the front of the room as it buzzed to life.
“Shh!” Pam Schneider commanded the class. She tapped her foot impatiently as the vice principal went over the other announcements of the day.
“And now to the junior Prom court,” his voice crackled over the speaker. Pam was on the edge of her chair. “For junior Prom king, your nominees in alphabetical order are: Ryan Bauer, Todd Chesney, Don Levitz, and Brian Reed.” Pam shrieked loudly when her boyfriend Brian’s name was called.
Tracy let out a little groan. “So predictable.”
The announcement continued. “And your nominees for Prom queen, this time in reverse alphabetical order —”
“Oh!” Tracy pretended to be scandalized. “How crazy! Reverse alphabetical order.”
Pam turned around to give her a dirty look.
“Audrey Werner, Pam Schneider” — of course — “Diane Monroe, and …”
Tracy collapsed on her chair as if she was dying from boredom.
“Penny Lane Bloom.”
WHAT?!?!
Tracy jolted her head up from her desk so quickly she probably gave herself whiplash. “Well, well, well.” She smirked at me. “This just got interesting.”
Being nominated for Prom court wasn’t the only thing that was confusing me. Ryan wasn’t at his locker all morning. I started to get worried that he was mad at me again, since the last time he’d stayed away from his locker was when I’d hurt him last semester.
My mind started racing as I made my way to lunch.
Maybe you were nominated solely so someone could pour pig’s blood on you.
Maybe you can work out things with Ryan. It’s called compromise.
But that didn’t work out for you last time, did it?
I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn’t hear Tracy calling my name as I walked to lunch.
“PENNY!” she shouted next to my ear.
“Huh?”
Tracy’s eyebrows were creased with worry. “Are you feeling okay? Or are you already figuring out your campaign for Prom queen?”
“What? I’m not campaigning.” I would never do something like that. And besides, there was only one true contender for the crown — and that was Diane. “I was thinking.”
“Oh-kaaaay.” Tracy shook her head at me. “Hey, you really do look so much better. It seems like you got all the rest you needed this weekend. Among other things.”
“Yeah, I’m feeling nearly one hundred percent.” I plunked my lunch bag down on our table.
The sound of a hacking cough came from behind us. I looked over and was horrified to find Ryan at his table, sitting with a stack of tissues at his side. He looked horrible, with a red nose and watery eyes.
Guilt overwhelmed me as he continued to cough.
He’d gotten that from me.
Of course he did.
I was going to ask him how he was, and if there was anything I could do (cheese fries?), but first Diane and I had to field everybody’s congratulations for being nominated for Prom queen. Meanwhile, a few members started excitedly passing around photos on their phones of the dresses they’d tried on that past weekend. I tried my best to let the conversation distract me from my contagion guilt.
That was until Amy showed up. “Wow, Ryan’s super sick. He came into class late this morning and he’s a hot mess.” She gestured over to me. “He’s like you were last week.”
I took a big bite of my sandwich so I wouldn’t be expected to comment. I sat there hoping nobody would put two and two together, but by the looks around the table, they were calculating it out quite nicely.
Tracy saved me. “So I think I found a hot little number for Prom.” She pulled up a picture of a long, dark purple dress with a deep V in the back.
“Yeah,” Kara agreed. “But I think if you wear that, we’ll need to have an ambulance at the ready for when Bruce sees you.”
“Hey!” Tracy threw her hands up. “The guy wanted to come with us — he should know the risk of being around something this smokin’ hot. Okaaay.” She playfully snapped her fingers.
I patiently listened to all the Prom talk for the rest of the lunch break. I couldn’t wait until it was over so I could check in on Ryan. As soon as people started to leave, I jumped up to go to my locker.
Tracy was right on my heels. “So do you want to go shopping sometime next week for your dress? I’m not one hundred percent sold on that purple number.”
“Sure,” I agreed quickly, then started walking faster.
“And do you want me to come over after school today to fill you in on the dance-a-thon?”
“That’d be great.”
“And would you like to explain to me why Ryan’s so sick?”
I kept my quick pace, trying to not show her that she had me. “I don’t know. Must be something going around.”
“All right,” Tracy said. “But then can you explain what his car was doing parked outside your house on Saturday night?”
So. Busted.
Tracy stepped in front of me so I was forced to look right at her. “Pen, if you guys are back together, that’s great. But why wouldn’t you tell us? Or at least me?” She looked hurt. This wasn’t the first
time I’d purposely held the truth from her, although I really wanted it to be the last.
“We’re not back together — I don’t know what we are,” I said truthfully. “He came over on Thursday and things happened. But this weekend was different. We were in our own little bubble. Nobody knows, so it wasn’t like I’d be ruining his reputation at school again. It was only the two of us. I was just Penny. I didn’t have anything to do. There was time for a boyfriend. But now I’m back and there’s so much going on, I don’t know anymore. It didn’t work before, so why would it now? I can’t risk it.”
“Those sound like excuses.”
“They’re not excuses. It’s the truth.”
Tracy was quiet for a few moments. Then she sighed loudly. “You know I love you, Pen, but sometimes you can be such an idiot.”
She walked away and left me standing there in the hallway to think about what she said. Tracy had never said one negative thing about me, so if she thought I was truly being an idiot, then maybe I was.
How do you properly apologize for making someone sick from the mere act of kissing you?
Luckily, I didn’t have to worry about that until after school when we were finally at our lockers at the same time.
Ryan let out a little laugh as I approached.
“Well, I guess you learned your lesson,” I joked, even though I felt truly awful about his current state.
“Completely worth it,” he said right before he sneezed violently. “Although I do think it’s best if you stay away from me. This could become a very vicious cycle.”
Even though he was joking and meant that I should stay away from him physically until he was better, that nagging voice was back. I was painfully aware of how much I should’ve stayed away from Ryan.
After another sneeze, he said, “I’m going to stay home tomorrow. Maybe even longer. So I do believe my wooing will be delayed a week until I’m one hundred percent better.”
“We’re still using the word wooing?” I teased.
He looked at me expectantly with his bleary, red eyes. “So … do you think I could take you out later this week? You know, a proper wooing.”
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