He flipped up the armrest and slid closer to Lucy, his eyes roving over every inch of her, assessing for injuries. She was still shaking as tears dripped into her lap.
“Hey,” Jaxon said trying to keep his voice soft despite the rage coursing through him. “Lucy, look at me.”
He gently lifted her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. Right away he could see the worst of her injuries were the kind that didn’t leave scars or bruises. Her eyes gave it away—it was her heart that was broken.
But just to be sure, he asked. “Are you hurt?”
She lifted her palms for him to look at. She had some scraps on the heels of her hand and a skinned elbow. Nothing life threatening.
“Your leg?” he asked.
She shook her head. “It’s fine.”
“You didn’t hurt anything else?”
“No,” she whimpered and fresh tears started falling again.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
He didn’t believe her. She was hurting, and Jaxon had a pretty good idea where, but he needed her to admit it. If she didn’t say it out loud he wouldn’t have permission to fix it.
“Then why are you crying?” he pushed.
“Because,” she sobbed.
“Because why?”
“Because I’m stupid and . . . and . . . he broke my heart.”
Rage swift and all consuming slammed into Jaxon. He buckled Lucy into her seatbelt then slid into the driver’s seat and turned on the ignition.
25
Jaxon
Jaxon drove until he was calm enough to speak. He pulled off an exit and found a gas station, parking at the convenient store attached. He shut the truck off and looked over at Lucy who was still silently crying in the passenger seat.
He reached over and tucked a curtain of auburn hair away from her face so he could see her. She looked at him, sorrow filling her eyes.
“I’m gonna go get you some Band-Aids and give you fifteen minutes to pull yourself together.”
Lucy stared at him in shock. It probably seemed like he was being hard on her and maybe he was, but he didn’t know any other way to be. All he knew was that he couldn’t stand to see her hurting this way. Especially over that shit bag, Alex.
She sucked in her bottom lip in an attempt to stop crying and Jaxon had a sudden urge to put his fist through something. Even though he knew it wouldn’t fix things, he wanted someone to hurt as bad as Lucy did. He took a deep breath. In all honesty, Jaxon probably needed the fifteen-minute time out more than Lucy did.
Jaxon felt Lucy’s eyes on him as he struggled with his inner demons. He collected himself and looked back at her with conviction. “He does not get to make you feel like this.”
Lucy
Lucy swallowed hard as she took in the blazing fury burning in Jaxon’s eyes. The way he was looking at her was more powerful than anything she’d ever experienced. There was truth and pain in his words, and all she could do was nod.
“Don’t give anyone that kind of power over you.”
She nodded again.
“Do you understand?”
“Yes,” she whispered. And she did. He meant that she was in control of how she felt. Yes, Alex had hurt her, but she’d let him. Only she could guard her heart, and it was time she start doing a better job.
“Good. Tissues are in the glove box. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. And I expect dry eyes when I return.”
Jaxon
Jaxon walked around the gas station convenient store like he’d never been shopping before. He was lost. He didn’t know what the hell to get to make things better for Lucy. He’d grabbed the obvious first aid items like Band-Aids, alcohol wipes and Neosporin, but his heart kept pushing him up and down the aisles looking for something more.
Something to put a smile back on her face.
Something to erase the pain in her heart.
He stopped in front of the ice cream case, his eyes landing on the Ben & Jerry’s selection. Ironically, the wine section started right next to the ice cream case. And that’s how Jaxon found himself at the checkout counter with a pint of ice cream and a four-pack of mini wine bottles. He was pulling his brother’s ID out of his wallet in case he got carded when a bucket of fresh flowers at the counter caught his eyes.
Nostalgia caused him to add a bouquet to his order.
The checkout girl smiled at him. “Lucky lady,” she remarked, not even bothering to ask for ID when she slid the wine across the scanner.
Jaxon only nodded. He felt silly buying flowers at a gas station. But it was one of the things Jaxon remembered vividly about his parents. When things were good, his father always brought home fresh flowers for his mother and they always made her smile.
The bouquet Jaxon grabbed was an assortment of purple, white and pink flowers, with a big sunflower in the middle. The cheerful yellow flower seemed to radiate joy and Jaxon found himself hoping it would make Lucy smile as much as he knew it would’ve made his mother smile.
Lucy
Lucy tore Alex’s heart locket off her neck and tossed it out the open truck window. Seeing Alex at the game with Trista was the final straw for Lucy. She knew in that moment it was time to move on. Her heart couldn’t take anymore.
For years Lucy had been letting herself think she didn’t deserve happiness and she’d become a self-fulfilling prophecy—a product of her own making. She had no one to be mad at but herself.
She didn’t have parents she could count on, and yes that sucked, but it didn’t mean she should expect everyone in her life to let her down. Expecting disappointment had led to accepting it, and that was leading down a depressing path that Lucy was no longer willing to travel.
Brooke had been telling her for years that Alex wasn’t right for her, but Lucy had been terrified to believe it—even if deep down she knew it was true. Admitting it was true meant Lucy was truly alone in the world.
She laughed bitterly at that foolish notion. She couldn’t believe her fear had made her hold on to something so wrong for so long. Was being alone really such a bad thing? At the moment it sounded better than her current situation.
Lucy felt like she’d been kicked in the heart. It wasn’t even that Alex chose Trista McAllister to take her place. Lucy knew there was something going on between them since the summer, she’d just been denying it.
Lucy had always known it was only a matter of time before Alex caved and wanted a shiny new toy. Trista just happened to be this week’s toy. She probably wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last. Guys like Alex would always have women throwing themselves at them and Lucy had never really been okay with that part of dating Alex.
She didn’t want the limelight and drama that came with dating a professional athlete or celebrity. All she’d ever wanted was a quiet stable life with someone she could depend on. And that wasn’t Alex’s path.
Even though Lucy felt like she had a hollow spot in her chest where her heart once was, she tried to count herself as lucky to have figured out where she and Alex stood before they went any further down this path.
The sound of Jaxon’s truck door opening pulled Lucy from her thoughts. She looked in his direction, watching him deposit two shopping bags between them. Then he got in, holding something behind his back.
Her curiosity was peaked when he gave her an uncertain look, like he was debating what to say next. She watched him take in her face, which she was sure was blotchy and puffy from crying, but she’d made sure her tears were gone.
Seeming to find whatever his vivid blue eyes were searching for, Jaxon sighed and produced a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. “These are for you,” he said quietly.
An immediate and unstoppable smile spread across Lucy’s face as she stared at the flowers. A large sunflower was front and center, surrounded by an assortment of small colorful flowers. Lucy gasped and leaned over the bouquet, inhaling deeply. The fragrant scent of the flowers filled her lungs and made her smile more.
&n
bsp; She pulled the bouquet to her chest and grinned up at Jaxon. “They’re beautiful,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
Jaxon
“You’re welcome,” Jaxon said through the lump forming in his throat. So this was why his father always brought his mother flowers. If Jaxon knew such a simple act could guarantee he’d see that smile on Lucy’s face, he’d buy her flowers every day for eternity.
“What else did you get?” Lucy asked hugging the flowers to her chest as she looked at the bags on the seat between them.
“Only the essentials.” he said pulling out a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and the four-pack of red wine.
Lucy squealed with delight. “You are a genius!”
“And if you let me bandage your hands and that elbow, you can have as much as you want.”
Lucy grinned. “Deal!”
Jaxon caved and let Lucy eat the ice cream the entire time he was cleaning and bandaging her cuts. The Ben & Jerry’s and the painkiller she’d taken seemed to keep her content. Jaxon did, however, insist Lucy wait a few hours before enjoying the wine. He should’ve thought of it before buying the wine. He’d been so preoccupied with finding something to put a smile on her face that he’d forgotten she couldn’t mix alcohol with her medication.
Once Lucy was bandaged and comfortable, Jaxon cleaned up his makeshift first aid kit and threw away the trash. He returned to the truck and grabbed a water bottle from the six-pack he’d bought.
“So, where to?” he asked.
Lucy sighed and leaned back against the headrest. “Home.”
“You sure? I mean we are in San Diego. Seems like a shame to let the trip go to waste.”
Lucy looked at him, catching his impish smirk.
Jaxon cocked an eyebrow. “Up for one more Would You Rather question?”
She nodded.
“Okay,” he scratched his chin, deviously. “If you just got stood up at a soccer game in San Diego would you rather drive home or do something fun?”
“Fun,” Lucy said.
“And what’s something fun we could do in San Diego?”
“The zoo!” Lucy exclaimed without missing a beat.
Jaxon smiled triumphantly. “The zoo it is.”
He reached over and buckled Lucy’s seatbelt before doing his own and starting the truck. A new sort of satisfaction settled over him as he looked over at Lucy who was still sniffing her flowers between spoonfuls of ice cream. A smile replaced her tears from earlier. He did that. It was an addicting feeling and he couldn’t help wondering what else he could do that would produce the same results.
He knew it was dangerous territory, but suddenly he didn’t really care. He wanted to do anything and everything to keep Lucy smiling. She deserved nothing less.
26
Lucy
The zoo was everything Lucy dreamed it would be. And Jaxon let her take as much time as she wanted exploring every exhibit. Lucy’s favorite was the penguin habitat. She could’ve watched them swooping through the water for hours. They seemed so full of happiness darting around their tank and preening on the rocks. It was infectious.
Jaxon teased her when she wanted him to push her zoo-provided wheelchair right up to the glass so she could get a better look at them.
“Oh! Look at that tiny one,” she exclaimed pointing to the adorable baby penguin waddling around behind its parents. “Aw, it’s so little.”
“Wow, you just picked out the Smalls of the penguin world,” Jaxon teased.
Lucy stuck at her tongue out at him, refusing to admit that he was right. “And let me guess, the giraffes are your favorite?”
“Why giraffes?”
“Because they’re freakishly tall.”
Jaxon crossed his arms over his broad chest. “Are you saying I’m freakishly tall, Smalls?”
“If the oversized shoe fits, Biggie.”
Jaxon mocked hurt. “That’s just mean.”
Lucy giggled, unable to stop her laughter. It was strange to feel so light after what happened at the stadium just a few hours earlier. But that’s always how it was with Jaxon—light, safe, happy.
After a full day at the zoo Lucy was exhausted. She sighed into the buttery soft leather of Jaxon’s truck when he buckled her in. It was late afternoon and the sun was starting to make its trek toward the sea.
“You hungry?” Jaxon asked.
“Always.”
He laughed. “I swear, I don’t know where you put it, Smalls.”
They’d already had nachos, churros, a lemon slushy and a giant soft pretzel at the zoo, plus the ice cream Lucy had eaten on the way there.
“How does Jack In The Box sound?” Jaxon asked.
“Like perfection.”
Lucy listened as Jaxon talked animatedly while he drove. She knew he’d grown up in San Diego and she loved hearing the affection he had for the city as they drove around. It was evident he missed it by the excitement in his voice every time he passed something that sparked a memory.
He pointed out an old basketball court where he and his brother used to play and recounted numerous tales about the two of them causing trouble in their younger days, prompting Lucy to say that their mother must’ve been a saint.
As soon as the words were out of her mouth Lucy wanted to kick herself. She’d just called Jaxon’s departed mother a saint! Insert foot in mouth much? Good Lord!
Things were going so well before Lucy brought up Jaxon’s mother. His light mood darkened and Lucy desperately wished she could press rewind and take back her insensitive comment.
Jaxon took a deep breath and slid his hand across the seat seeking Lucy’s. When he found it, he squeezed reassuringly. “It’s okay to mention her.”
“Seriously? You’re trying to make me feel better right now?”
He laughed, pulling his hand back to rub the back of his neck. “I guess I am.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Lucy finally admitted. “I’m sorry just doesn’t seem big enough for what you went through.”
Jaxon nodded solemnly. “It happened not too far from here. We were coming home from one of my basketball games.”
Realization pricked Lucy’s scalp. “That’s why you don’t play anymore?”
He nodded and sadness slammed into Lucy’s chest all over again. Jaxon had lost so much and it killed her that there was nothing she could do about it. Especially when all he ever did was rescue her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered again.
“Me too.”
“I know you already know this, but life is too short to give up the things you love . . . like basketball.”
Jaxon sighed. “You’re right. But it’s just not the same anymore.” His voice grew quiet. “Nothing is.”
Lucy knew what he meant. Nothing had been the same in her life after her father left. It was like a part of her was just missing and there wasn’t anything she could do to make it right. But Jaxon’s situation was so much worse. He didn’t have a lifetime to mourn his mother or ten years to get used to not having a father. He was going through all of it right now.
She hated that Jaxon had to go through it, but just like her situation, there wasn’t much she could do, other than be there for Jaxon. So she laced her fingers tighter around his and squeezed, letting him know he wasn’t alone.
They drove the rest of the way to Jack In The Box in companionable silence. Lucy was still kicking herself for bringing up Jaxon’s mother and dampening his good mood. She watched him as he drove. He looked relaxed, one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the open windowsill.
Lucy found herself trying to imagine which of Jaxon’s gorgeous traits he’d inherited from his mother. Was it his perfect smile? His sparkling blue eyes? His ceaseless compassion for those in need? Maybe it was all of it. Either way, Lucy’s heart hurt knowing she’d never get to meet the woman who helped create this incredible boy. She didn’t know how Jaxon dealt with such a heavy burden. It must hurt terribly. Lucy hadn’t even met the woman and she felt the weight of her loss. Of co
urse Lucy missed her own mother, but it somehow felt different. It was harder to miss someone she never got the chance to know. But losing someone who raised you . . . that kind of pain was different. And she had a feeling it didn’t have an expiration date.
Jaxon
Forty-five minutes later, Jaxon backed into his favorite spot overlooking the beach. It had been worth waiting in line at the drive-thru and battling traffic to get there. And the timing couldn’t be more perfect. The sun was setting over the ocean, painting the sky orange and the water gold.
Jaxon hopped out of his truck, pulled down the tailgate and returned to the passenger side to grab Lucy and their food. He helped Lucy into the truck bed and they both scooted to the back so they could lean against the cab while enjoying their meal.
Lucy moaned when she bit into her cheeseburger. “This is the best burger I’ve ever had.”
Jaxon laughed. “I can’t believe you’ve never had Jack In The Boxr. And you call yourself a Californian?”
She threw a fry at him and he caught it, popping it in his mouth.
Lucy grinned. “Thanks for today. I’m really glad you didn’t let me waste it.”
“I couldn’t let one bad soccer game give San Diego a bad rap.”
“Well I’m glad you didn’t. And thanks for taking me out for dinner. This is pretty great.”
Jaxon snorted. “Give me some credit, Smalls.”
“What?”
“Let’s just make something clear, if I was gonna take you out for dinner it would be nicer than a bag of fast food in the back of my pickup truck.”
She shrugged. “It’s the best date I’ve been on in . . . well . . .” she laughed again. “I guess I can’t remember the last date I’ve been on.”
The anger that Jaxon thought he’d buried came rushing back. “I know I’m breaking our brand new friendship rule, but please tell me you’re done with that dipshit.”
The Accidental Boyfriend: A YA Contemporary Romance Novel (The Boyfriend Series Book 7) Page 18