“I suspect Professor Blake would be happy to help you,” said Bellamy.
“I hadn’t thought about that, but considering what you’ve told me, I think talking to her is a good first step.”
“So what will you be instead of king?” Bellamy asked. “You’ll need a new title. Somethin’ important.”
“Negotiator, maybe? Mediator? Ambassador? I don’t know.”
“I have a suggestion.” Bellamy smirked. “How about ‘Boyfriend?’”
Tinker laughed. After all they’d been through, the boyfriend/girlfriend thing was the one question he still hadn’t managed to ask her. He pretended to mull it over. “Hmm. ‘Ambassador-Boyfriend’ does have a certain ring to it.”
Bellamy scowled playfully. “Maybe I won’t be kissin’ you when we get to the castle after all.”
Tinker mimed being stabbed in the chest, flailing about until Bellamy giggled.
“Seriously, though,” Tinker said soberly. “It’s very important that you remember to turn everyone back as soon as you wake up from this dream. A troll might have caught your scent already, and if one has, I don’t know how to stop it.”
“A troll?” Bellamy tilted her head and put her hands on her hips. “Oh, honey. You just let me deal with it. I got this.”
11
Bellamy woke up feeling like a new person. Or, rather, she felt like her old self again. She remembered every moment of the dream she’d shared with Tinker. As she moved through her morning stretches, she recalled the touching conversation they’d had and the exciting decisions they’d made. The memory alone was enough to dust off the cobwebs that had been settling since Tinker had received his marching orders, and now the sun was shining in her soul again.
Bellamy Merriweather Larousse was back, and in fighting form. These goblins wouldn’t know what hit them!
First, of course, Bellamy would have to deal with Hubble. And Quin. And maybe trolls. She couldn’t decide which one would be the most fun.
Bellamy sorted through the bag of snacks while the rest of her fellow travelers slept. As far as she could tell, Quin still didn’t know she was a fairy. She’d kept her cloak on, even when making that painstaking climb up the side of the oubliette. Had they waited until her wings dried out, she could have simply flown herself and everyone else out of the cavernous prison…but she didn’t want to wait. So she’d put her cheerleading muscles to work and pulled her waterlogged self up that wall to the tunnel that led to the Myrkwood, just like everyone else.
Bellamy also suspected Quin had no idea that his fellow travelers knew he was the former heir to the goblin throne. He’d introduced himself as “Keen” instead of “Quinn”—Bellamy had only ever seen his name written down in Tinker’s note, so it was a while before she realized she’d assumed the wrong pronunciation. He wasn’t allergic to Bellamy, and his hair and eyes were dark and his skin had naturally brown tones. The setting sun, however, turned all his features a particular shade of green. And he seemed, despite a naturally pessimistic nature, to be incredibly proud about showing them the way to Goblin City.
Once Bellamy had put it all together, she’d pulled Hubble aside and let him in on the secret.
“I knew all this ‘leading us to Goblin City as thanks for helping him escape’ was too good to be true,” Hubble said. “He’s planning to betray us to the Goblin King in an effort to get his place back from Tinker.”
Bellamy nodded. “That’s what I thought, too. It makes the most sense.”
“Well, let him keep thinking he’s pulled the wool over our eyes,” said Hubble. “And stay vigilant about hiding your wings. If he knows he’s delivering a dreaded fey to the doorstep of his king, he might change his mind.”
Bellamy considered their exchange as she walked down to the stream to refill the canteens. Hubble had imparted Quin’s secret to Natalie and Sam, as well as the expectation of his betrayal. They had both taken it in stride. Well…once Natalie had been convinced that it wouldn’t be in their best interests to kill Quin in his sleep, she had taken it in stride.
It was nice to have the upper hand for once.
Bellamy brought the water to a boil in the saucepan. From her magic pocket she pulled a small bag of coffee grounds she’d secretly brought along from the Bean. She had figured they’d need coffee at some point, and it was nice to be reminded of home.
One by one, the rest of the travelers awoke as the aroma of pumpkin spice filled the air. One by one, Bellamy poured them each a paper cup of hot coffee. Except Sam. He rolled into a sitting position around the fire, eyes closed, hair sticking straight up on one side.
“Darlin’, you look like you’ve been hit by a Mack truck,” Bellamy said to him.
“I feel like it,” he mumbled.
“Hair of the dog?” Bellamy offered.
Natalie shook her head vigorously over her own cup of coffee.
Sam leaned forward and inhaled the lovely steam rising out of the saucepan. Then he groaned. “I’ll stick with water, thanks.”
Hubble shoved a canteen into Sam’s hand and he drank deeply. “I’m surprised you didn’t go full were after that major buzz you had yesterday,” Hubble said to him.
“So am I,” said Natalie. “You’re gaining more control, bro. Proud of you.”
“Thanks, sis,” Sam muttered.
“Muffin?” Bellamy offered to Quin.
The ex-goblin prince scrutinized the cellophane package, but took a muffin anyway. “Do you guys do this sort of thing every morning?”
“What thing?” Hubble asked obtusely.
“This whole…breakfast thing.”
“We do when Bellamy’s around,” said Natalie.
“We love Bellamy,” Sam said sleepily.
“Aw, thank you, sweetie,” Bellamy said to Sam. “We call it ‘southern hospitality,’” she said to Quin.
“Whatever you call it, we should drink up and get moving,” said Quin. “We’ve got a long road ahead.”
“Yes we do.” Bellamy leaned back against a log and sipped her coffee with exceeding slowness. “Just not that road.”
Quin, in the middle of a swallow, almost did a spit take. “Excuse me?”
Bellamy raised a hand. “Now, I’m not one to go tellin’ anybody their business,” she said. “You are absolutely welcome to go that way, if you wish. Just don’t look back and expect to see me behind you.”
“What is going on?” Sam whispered to Natalie.
“I have no idea,” whispered Natalie, “but I love it.”
“There are games afoot,” Hubble said under his breath.
Quin stood up, spilling his coffee. “Look, you said you wanted to get to the Goblin City. That”—he pointed down the dark path through the trees—“is the way to Goblin City. You can follow me or not, I don’t care.”
Bellamy nibbled daintily on a muffin. “Have it your way,” she said. “But I imagine it’ll be difficult takin’ the goblin throne back from Tinker once your head’s been ripped off by a troll.”
Quin, sputtering, sat back down. “You…you know about me?”
Bellamy sipped her coffee. “I know a lot of things.”
“She’s a witch,” said Sam.
“She’s a goddess,” said Hubble.
“She’s a southern belle,” said Natalie.
“For instance,” said Bellamy, “I know that Tinker is now the Goblin King.”
“What?” Hubble cried.
Bellamy’s voice became solemn. “Which means that challengin’ him now will result in a fight to the death.”
“That is the way of our people,” said Quin.
“But it’s not Tinker’s way,” said Bellamy. “You’d know that if you knew him like we do. He doesn’t want that. In fact, he doesn’t want the crown at all.”
Quin clenched his jaw. “Now I know you’re lying. No goblin gives up the throne, ever.”
“Tinker would,” said Natalie.
“Yup,” Sam agreed with a yawn.
“But why?�
� Quin asked. “What on earth could possibly be better than being King of all Goblins? Certainly not school.” He said the word as if it smelled like bad cheese.
“True love,” Hubble answered. “The most powerful force in the universe.”
He and Bellamy exchanged smiles.
“That’s ridiculous,” said Quin. “Even if what you say is true, Tinker’s going to what, just hand over the crown, just like that?”
Bellamy shrugged. “Not if you die first.” She finished off her muffin. “That way leads to Goblin City. That way leads to trolls. And you know it.”
Quin stood again. He walked ahead to the path he’d been meaning to follow, and then back toward the way they’d come. He touched the trees, sniffed the air.
“You might be—” Quin might have finished the sentence if a troll hadn’t materialized out of the dense brush and grabbed him from behind.
“CRUNCH HAVE YOU NOW!” The troll roared in triumph.
Natalie, Sam and Hubble immediately sprang into action. Hubble grabbed one of the troll’s arms and tried to pull it away from Quin. Natalie came up from behind, yanking the troll’s flaming red hair and wrapping her arms around his neck in an effort to choke him. Sam took the low ground, lying on the ground and rolling his own body toward them in an effort to take out the troll’s legs. As one, the whole mess of them came tumbling to the ground.
Bellamy stood, folded her arms across her chest and waited. Sipped her coffee. Tapped her foot.
Eventually, the screams and roars and pulling and punching stopped. They all stared at Bellamy staring at them. Quin and the others stepped away from the troll.
The troll bared his teeth and growled at Bellamy.
Bellamy didn’t even flinch. “Really, Mr. Troll. I am disappointed.”
“AM NOT MISTER TROLL,” bellowed the troll. “AM CRUNCH THE BASHER, SON OF SMASHER AND CRASHER AND TERROR OF MYRKWOOD!”
Crunch the Basher’s breath smelled worse than the bog. It made Bellamy’s eyes tear up, but she managed to maintain her poised look of disdain. “Basher… Any relation to Dimshall Basher?”
“Him my uncle,” Crunch said at a more tolerable volume. “Him sent away to far-off land. Never see again.”
“Then you know Ugh and D’ugh, of course.” Now that Bellamy had a good look at Crunch, she realized he was quite a young troll, similar in age to the troll twins who lived down the street. He even had the same bulbous nose.
“Ugh and D’ugh am cousins! How you know Ugh and D’ugh?”
“That far-off land your uncle was sent to? My family lives there.”
“You pulling Crunch’s leg!”
“I assure you, Mr. Basher, I wouldn’t even if I could. Care for a snack?” Bellamy held out a package of powdered donuts.
“She’s giving him our snacks?” Sam asked incredulously.
“Bellamy…” Hubble warned.
Bellamy held her hand out flat beside her—not enough to be threatening to the troll, but enough for her friends to know that she meant for them to stay out of this.
The troll began to reach for the package, and then thought better of it. He growled at Bellamy again. “Crunch no snack on human food. CRUNCH SNACK ON FACE.”
Daintily, Bellamy wiped the spittle off her cheek. “Trolls don’t eat people anymore.”
“YOU LYING TO CRUNCH.”
“Oh, dear.” Bellamy clicked her tongue. “I suspect your village or town or what-have-you probably just hasn’t gotten the memo way out here in the Myrkwood, but none of the trolls I know eat people anymore. I don’t think they have for quite some time. Generations, even.”
“What trolls eat if no people?” Crunch asked.
“Vegetables, mostly,” said Bellamy. “Cucumbers, tomatoes… Squash, especially. Zucchini, butternut, yellow, pumpkins…pretty much all the gourds.”
“What gourd?” The word became at least three syllables as Crunch tried to wrap his giant tongue around it. The attempt was almost charming.
“The gourd is a fascinatin’ plant that comes in a variety of shapes and colors,” said Bellamy. “A lot like people. When I get back home, I’ll be sure to send you some.”
“You send present to Crunch from far-off land?”
“Of course I will!” Bellamy said. “Sending presents is something friends do. You are my friend, aren’t you?”
Crunch squinted one eye to look at Bellamy, and then the other. “You friend of Ugh and D’ugh?”
“I am,” she said confidently. “My name is Bellamy.” She offered the package of donuts again.
This time he took it. “Hello, friend Bellamy. I Crunch. Nice meet you.”
“It is lovely to meet you too, Crunch. We were just havin’ breakfast. Won’t you join us by the fire?”
Bellamy waited for Crunch to settle himself before taking a place at his side. Slowly, the rest of them sat down as well, a little worse for wear. Quin’s hair and clothes were completely rumpled, and he winced as he straightened them. Hubble had a bite mark on his arm; Natalie had a long scratch down one cheek. And Bellamy wasn’t sure, but it looked like Sam was developing a black eye.
“I don’t believe I’m doing this right now,” muttered Quin.
“Me neither,” said Sam. “This is nowhere in the D&D handbook.”
“Anything is possible in Bellamy’s world,” said Natalie. “We’re playing by her handbook now.”
Hubble drained the rest of his cup of coffee in one gulp and said nothing.
“If you wouldn’t mind, Crunch, we could use your help,” Bellamy said.
“How Crunch help new friend?”
“We’re a little lost. See, we’re tryin’ to get to Goblin City, but I think we’re goin’ the wrong way.” She pointed down the dark path through the trees. It looked a little less scary now.
Crunch put a large hand on his substantial belly and laughed. “That no way to Goblin City! That way to troll village or town or what-have-me.”
“So we should go back the way we came?” Bellamy pointed in the opposite direction.
Crunch laughed again. “That way a very long way. Use shortcut to Goblin City. Take boat.”
“There’s a boat?” Hubble and Quin asked at the same time.
“Come. Crunch show you.” The troll stood up and proceeded to stomp through the trees and brush, making a path where there had been none before. Quickly, Bellamy and her companions gathered up their things and kicked sand over the fire. Single file, they followed along behind Crunch.
“He’s leading us to our doom,” said Quin.
“If that’s the case, I’d really like to take a nap first,” said Sam. “But I don’t think he is.”
“Bellamy has a tendency to bring out the best in people,” Natalie told Quin.
As promised, Crunch’s path did empty out onto a small strip of beach, where an empty canoe had been beached. There were a couple of paddles on the shore, a few shoes, and what looked like the remnants of several bags of supplies. Sam and Natalie quickly began to sift though the wreckage, gathering up anything they might need.
Hubble examined the canoe. “It looks sound. I think it will float.”
Bellamy shook her head over the scene. “Do I even need to ask what happened here?”
The troll hung his head. “Crunch make sure village or what-have-me gets memo about not eating people.”
“Thank you, Crunch,” said Bellamy. “I do appreciate you passin’ that along.”
“Crunch sad now,” said the troll. “He too big to go in boat with new friend Bellamy.”
Bellamy cupped the large troll’s cheek in her tiny hand. “I promise to send a case of squashes to your village. Maybe even two.”
“Bellamy say hello to Ugh and D’ugh for Crunch?”
“I absolutely will,” she said as she got into the boat. “Thank you so much, Crunch. I will never forget this.”
“Neither will I,” said Quin.
“Or me,” said Sam.
“We will tell the story of Crun
ch the Basher from sea to shining sea,” Hubble said grandly.
“Crunch like that,” said the troll. “Goodbye, friends.” And with a great push, he sent the canoe off into the lake.
All the companions waved a hearty goodbye to the troll.
“I’m not sure anyone would believe me if I told them what just happened,” said Quin.
Bellamy turned to the former prince. “Do you know where we are now?” she asked impatiently.
“I think so,” he said. “I had no idea we were this close to the water’s edge, or I would have led us here myself.”
“But you couldn’t have known about the canoe,” said Natalie.
“Good point,” said Quin.
Bellamy continued to scan the edges of the water, but there was no clue as to where their destination might be.
“Goblin City should be just around that bend,” Quin said.
Bellamy’s eyes met Hubble’s. She didn’t need his permission for what she was about to do, but she’d feel better with his blessing. Hubble didn’t even have to ask. He smiled at her and shook his head. “I hope that one day I find a girl who loves me half as much as you love that goblin brat of ours,” he said. “Go on. We’ll be right behind you.”
Careful to maintain her balance—much like being atop a cheer pyramid—Bellamy stood up in the canoe. She let her cloak fall away and spread her wings, now fully-dry and reenergized. With one great leap she lifted herself into the air, leaving a trail of colorful dust in her wake so large that she wouldn’t have been surprised to see the canoe and everyone in it floating behind her.
As soon as she had risen above the treeline, she saw the top of the castle, the keep walls, and the sprawling city beyond it. She headed straight for the topmost tower. There was a room there with a large bed and an ornate mirror; Bellamy flew in through an open window and took a look around. She spotted the Mantle of Majesty and the goblin mask Tinker had worn to the ball, but there was no sign of Tinker himself.
She leapt out the window and caught another air current beneath her wings. She followed the sounds of animals to a cow shed and a henhouse, but still no Tinker. She flew down an alleyway, stopping only when she came across an open doorway, through which emerged the most wonderful smell.
When Tinker Met Bell Page 12