“She says she'd like to see you. Just don't upset her.”
“Has she remembered anything?”
“No.” The nurse frowned. “I'm afraid not.”
“I have some information that might be helpful to her,” he said.
The nurse looked him up and down.
“I hope it's good news. The girl’s been through a lot already.”
“I know her full name.”
The nurse walked with him to Emma's room and he slipped through the door, finding her in the bed staring out the window. The bandage was still around her head, but her fingertips were already looking better.
“Hi, Zander,” she said in a weak voice.
“I brought you these.” He handed her the chocolates. Her face lit up with excitement. She immediately opened the box and popped a chocolate into her mouth.
“That isn't the only surprise I have for you.”
“Oh?” She chewed on another chocolate.
“I have some connections with mate.com. And because this is an emergency, we were able to look at your sign-up information.”
Her eyes went wide. “Does that mean you know my name?”
“Your full name is Emma Dixon.”
“And my family?”
“I'm afraid that you don't have any living relatives that we've been able to find. But it does seem that you have social media accounts. Maybe some of these people seem familiar to you?” He showed her the social media page. She scrunched up her eyebrows, not seeming to recognize anything.
“It's okay, it will take time. My friend said he could get into the account with your permission. Then maybe you could contact one of the people on your friends list.”
“I don't know,” she said. “Is that a good idea?”
“There are laws against hacking into social media. We don't have the same connection with these sites as with mate.com. So he would be breaking the law.”
“I don't want him to break the law.”
“You seem upset,” he said, not wanting to agitate her. “Why don't you give it some thought, and then we'll talk about it later.”
He handed her the phone so she could look at the site herself. She scrolled through the feed, her face a mask of anxiety.
“I don't remember any of these people. Are you sure this is my account?”
“It looks like you,” Zander said.
“It does, doesn't it?”
“Just take your time. You don't have to figure anything out today.”
“The nurse said I could leave today,” she said. “Can I still go home with you?”
“Of course you can. If that's what you want.”
“I do.”
“Then I will help you make arrangements to be discharged,” he said.
“The doctor did a background check on you. He said you’re a good man and that I could trust you. But I already knew that.”
Zander felt his heart burst with pride when she said that she knew he was a good man. It was like everything he'd ever wanted to hear was all wrapped up in that precious moment.
Zander went out to the nurses’ station to ask about having Emma discharged. They gave him a little attitude but brought Emma the papers to sign. Now that she knew her full name, and part of the puzzle of her identity was filled in, she could more confidently move out into the world.
He helped wheel her out to the car, and she climbed into the passenger seat. He felt the wave of responsibility and the need to avenge her sweep over him as he closed her door.
“She has a check-up on New Year’s Eve,” the nurse said.
“She'll be here,” Zander said.
He was both happy and annoyed that the hospital had been so suspicious of him. He knew that it was for Emma's benefit, and for that, he was grateful. The nurse was right. She'd already been through too much.
He drove across town back to his house, glancing at her occasionally as he stopped at a stoplight or made a right turn. She had an air of sadness about her. She was lost and alone in the world. He knew that nothing could replace her memories, but he hoped that he could somehow help her and be a balm for the sadness and loss. He didn't know what to do, but he did know that she was his mate. He would do anything to see her smile.
He brought her to the house and helped her inside. She looked around and commented that it was a lovely place. He showed her where she could stay, then showed her the guest bathroom if she wanted to take a bath or shower.
“I would love that,” she said with a sigh. “I haven't showered since the accident.”
“I'll leave you to it,” he said. “My friend’s wife sent over another change of clothes for you, but we can go get you some things of your own when you’re ready.”
“That would be nice,” she said. “I'd like a different pair of shoes. These boots feel heavy, and they remind me of trudging through the snow.”
“We can go right after your shower if you want.”
“That would be nice, but can we wait until tomorrow?”
“Absolutely. I have some work to do with the police, but I'm sure that we can find the time.”
Zander left the clothes on the bed for Emma and walked downstairs. He felt a wash of anxiety about whether or not he was doing enough for her. So, he decided to make her a decent meal instead of pacing around. There was still so much to be done.
Chapter 6
Emma sat in Zander's bathroom, watching the water run into the tub. She let out a deep sigh. It was the first time she could remember feeling relaxed. And the humor of that wasn't lost on her — she couldn't remember much of anything. She laughed darkly at the idea. Zander had discovered her full name. Emma Dixon.
It didn't seem at all familiar to her. He had also offered to hack into her social media accounts to contact her friends. She still wasn't sure how she felt about that. Even her name felt foreign, let alone the people she saw on the social media she didn't recognize.
Right now, she wanted to stay with Zander. He made her feel safe. There was no logical explanation for it, but it was true. Maybe the doctors had been right to be suspicious. But they’d looked into his background, and it had only confirmed what she already knew. Zander was a good man.
She slipped out of the clothes she'd worn home from the hospital and stepped into the warm bath. Her body was aching from the ordeal, but she shivered with contentment as she submerged herself in the warmth.
She leaned against the porcelain and closed her eyes, breathing in the fresh floral scent of the bubble bath she'd added to the water. She reached up to her head and removed the bandage, then felt her forehead for the stitches. They still hurt, but the nurse had said she could remove the bandage today and clean it as long as she made sure it stayed dry.
The people at the hospital had been so kind, and she was grateful to them for being so protective. At this point, it was one of the few things she remembered about her life. She'd woken up in that forest, freezing and in pain. She’d then struggled through the snow, her fingertips growing colder and colder, until she finally stumbled out onto the road where she'd been saved by the most generous, kindest person in her life.
Zander said that she was his fated mate, and maybe she was; she didn't mind that idea at all. He’d been nothing but good to her, but she knew that it would be impossible to have a relationship with anyone until she recovered her memories.
A tear slid down her cheek. She felt so vulnerable and empty. Something seemed to tug at the back of her mind. She didn't know what it was. It was unclear and hazy. Like a dream that she could almost remember. Was that her life? She didn't know.
Emma knew many things about the world. She understood history and science. She knew how to read and do math. She knew who the current president was. But she didn't know anything about herself. It was intensely distressing. At least Zander was here for her.
She had the sense that it was not necessarily the smartest thing for a woman to trust a man she didn't know the way she was trusting Zander, but it was the truest
thing in her life. And if she couldn't trust her own feelings, then what could she trust? Her reality was her feelings. She had nothing else to base anything on.
She washed her face and carefully washed the stitches on her forehead. She sucked a sharp breath through her teeth at the pain, but she was glad to wash away the blood under the bandage.
When she was done washing her face, she started on her hair. It was tangled and dirty with sweat and tree sap. It felt so good to finally get it clean.
After she'd washed and conditioned her hair, she used the bar of soap to wash every inch of her skin, trying to wash away the memory of the time she'd spent lost in the woods. The few memories she had were distressing. She wished they would go away. The irony was heartbreaking. But that was just another reason that she wanted to stay close to Zander. He was one of the few good things that she could hold onto in her life. And she was going to keep holding on to it as long as she could.
Part of her didn't want to remember anything else. What if she was a horrible person? Or what if she had some terrible boyfriend? She had just met Zander, but she wanted to be with him. As irrational as that might sound to someone on the outside looking in, it made perfect sense to her.
She climbed out of the bathtub and wrapped herself in a towel. Out on the bed, she found a warm, fuzzy tracksuit and thick wool socks. It all fit well enough to be comfortable. She dried her hair, sitting on the bed, and when she was done, she started downstairs. She found Zander in the kitchen and smelled the aroma of food cooking. Steak and potatoes if she wasn't mistaken. Zander was chopping a salad.
“It smells delicious in here,” she said, her mouth watering.
“I thought you might want a hearty meal after eating hospital food for two days.”
“Definitely.”
She sat down at the counter in the kitchen and watched him cooking. Part of her wanted to get up and help, but she felt so weak that she knew if she tried, she’d probably faint. After yesterday, she didn't really think fainting was a very good look on her.
Zander brought a plate over filled with steak, potatoes, salad and garlic green beans. He added a glass of iced tea and then sat down beside her with his own plate. She sliced the meat and took a tentative bite. She groaned with pleasure at the taste. It slipped into her stomach as her body greedily absorbed the food.
“This is exactly what I needed.”
“I had a feeling it would be.”
She ate her dinner like there was no tomorrow and then when she was feeling satisfied, slowed down with her second helping.
“So, what is it that you do when you're not helping desperate, injured women?”
“I was in the military for quite a long time. And now I mostly consult law enforcement and write a blog about the psychological motivations for crime.”
“That's very interesting,” she said thoughtfully. The more she knew about him, the more she liked him. “How did you get into that kind of thing?”
“I have a PhD in psychology. And I was involved in clandestine operations in the military.”
“That sounds exciting. I wonder if I've ever done anything exciting like that.”
“Maybe you really are a spy,” he said with a wink.
“I doubt that.” She giggled.
“You never know. Maybe that's what you were doing here in Fate Rock.”
“That would be fun. If I had a super-secret identity. But I think that you already figured out to the sum total of who and what I am. An entry-level graphic designer from Santa Fe.”
“That's nothing to sneeze at.”
“I don't know anything about graphic design,” she said with a laugh.
“I'm sure it will all come back to you, Emma.” He reached out to pat her hand.
“I'm just grateful that you were there to find me.”
“I am too.”
“But I wish that I could remember who I am so the question of whether or not you're my fated mate wouldn't be so one-sided.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m this random girl that appeared out of nowhere. I couldn't expect you to want to have a relationship with me.”
“You are my fated mate, no matter what. You and I are meant for each other. Your amnesia is unfortunate, but I know that your memories will come back. I will give you all the time and space you need to rediscover yourself. I'm a patient man, Emma. And I'm also a very empathetic one. If I weren't capable of understanding and empathizing with your situation, I wouldn't be the man I claim myself to be.”
“I didn't mean…”
“I know you didn't. I don't want you to worry about me. I have everything I need, and now that I’ve found you, all that matters to me is that you get well.”
“Thank you,” she breathed. “That means a lot to me. I don't know why, but I feel like I want to be close to you. I want to be your fated mate. I just wish that I knew who I am.”
“We have all the time in the world. You don't have to worry. I don't think any less of you because of what happened. And even if your memories never come back, I will still be here for you. And we will make the best of the situation. Even if you have to start over completely, it doesn't make any difference to me. You're still my mate.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“That's just the kind of man that I am. I'm sure of myself and I'm sure of you. I don't need to question it.”
“Whoever Emma Dixon is, she's a very lucky woman.”
“Well, I know who Zander Shaw is, and he is a very lucky man.”
Chapter 7
After dinner, Zander asked Emma if she wanted to watch a movie on TV. She was feeling exhausted, but she agreed. She wanted to spend time with him. For better or worse, Emma felt extremely connected to and attached to Zander.
He picked a romantic comedy, saying that he thought she would prefer watching something light and funny. She was grateful that he’d chosen that instead of something that involved car chases.
She giggled and laughed throughout the first half, and for the next half, they snuggled up beside each other. He didn't seem to mind that she leaned on his shoulder. She wasn't going to make herself feel bad for enjoying the warmth and the strength of his body next to hers.
By the time the movie was over, Emma felt so exhausted she could barely keep her eyes open. Zander looked down at her and whispered.
“Are you ready for bed?”
“I could fall asleep right here.”
“You need to rest. Did you take the medication the hospital gave you?”
“I'll take it before I get in bed. It makes me even sleepier.”
Zander walked her up to her bedroom and just before he turned to go, she reached out and pulled him into her arms.
“Thank you, Zander. I don't know how I would have gotten through this without you.”
“I'm glad I was at the right place at the right time, so I could be there for you.”
“Me too. Who knows what would've happened if you hadn't shown up.”
“I hate to think about it,” he said, still holding her close.
He rubbed her back and let out a deep sigh. She felt his lips brush over the top of her head.
“I’m going to let you rest now. We’ll go shopping first thing in the morning. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave you alone for a while after that. The case I'm working on with the police department won’t wait any longer.”
“I don't want to keep you from your work.”
“Your health is more important than anything to me.”
Emma wondered if she had ever known what it felt like to be that important to someone. And somehow, she felt as if maybe she never had. It was sad to think about, but at the back of her mind, she knew it was true.
She climbed into the bed and turned off the light, so exhausted she could barely keep her eyes open a second longer. She quickly fell into a deep sleep.
Emma found herself trudging through deep snow. Her hot breath blew out in front of her and her heart poun
ded in her chest. She was running away from something. Something dangerous. Something evil. He was going to hurt her.
She ran like a scared animal through the forest, jumping over logs. Branches slapped her face. She had to get away; she had to save herself before it was too late. A gun shot rang out through the still forest. It sliced through the tree right beside her. The man was ahead of her. She'd been running the wrong direction. He lifted his gun. She could see his face. The cruelty in his eyes.
“You can't hide for long.” He raised his gun and pulled the trigger.
Emma screamed as she sat up in bed. The horrible image of the violent man was imprinted at the back of her mind. She was panting, her heart racing.
The door to her bedroom flew open. Zander stood in the light of the hallway. He rushed to her bed and sat beside her. She threw herself into his arms.
“Are you okay? What happened?”
“He was chasing me. He was going to kill me!”
“Who is chasing you?”
“The man with the gun. He told me he would find me.”
“It's okay, Emma. It was just a dream.”
“No Zander. I don't think it was just a dream. I think it was real.”
“You’re safe now. It's all right. I'm here.” He rocked her gently in his arms. “You should try to go back to sleep. You need to rest.”
“Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?
“Of course I will.”
Zander picked a hardback book from the shelf and sat beside her on the bed.
“I'll read to you to help you fall asleep.”
“Thank you.”
“Have you ever heard of A Christmas Carol?”
“You mean like with Mickey Mouse?”
“Yes. That's it. I'll read it for you now if you'd like.”
“That sounds nice,” she said, settling back down into the bed.
She knew that A Christmas Carol was written by Charles Dickens. But the Mickey Mouse cartoon was what had first popped into her head. Did that count as a memory?
She'd rather have memories of a Disney cartoon than of a horrible villain trying to murder her in the forest. The dream had hit far too close to home. She felt in her gut that it wasn't just a dream. It was a memory. The man's face was etched in her mind. Was he the reason she'd been running through the forest?
Sly Bear (Justice Squad Book 7) Page 3