“Hey,” he said when Ed had gone.
“Hi. Just get off work?”
He nodded and glanced around the empty shop. “Slow morning?”
A few different emotions flashed across her face. One of them he didn’t much care for—hurt?
“I think some people are choosing to get their breakfast at the diner while Gen’s out ill. And it always gets busier once Sophia comes in.”
He’d have thought she’d won over half the town by now. Or maybe it was just him. “Do you want me to go kick their collective asses?”
She laughed. “No. But thanks.”
“Seriously. I could drag them in here.”
She gave him a smirk.
“Sit with me. Take a break.”
“You have to buy something. Coffee?”
“Coffee it is. I’ll make sure to tell Gen what a great salesperson you are.”
She rang him up and poured the coffee in a large ceramic mug. It had the face of a Dalmatian dog on one side.
“Cute.”
“Perfect for you. I found some mugs at the thrift shop and I thought Gen would love them.”
He accepted the mug and moved towards one of the tables. “How is she by the way?”
“I thought you could tell me.”
“I haven’t talked to Wallace for a couple of days. Do you think she has the flu or what? Nothing’s ever kept her away from the bakery for longer than a day or two.”
“No. It’s not the flu,” she said and then like she’d been caught saying too much, “I don’t think.”
Right. She didn’t want to tell him, though why he couldn’t begin to imagine. She sat down in the chair across from his, so he got up and moved his chair next to hers. His thigh was pressed up against hers.
She smiled and didn’t move away.
“You like working here?”
“I told you. I need the money, and there aren’t exactly jobs falling out of trees around here.”
“It’s just a stop for you.”
“Yeah. And honestly? It is kind of fun. Now that I see what goes into the cinnamon rolls, it’s easier to stop at one.”
“But you should go back to writing eventually.”
“Why?” One finger wound itself around a lock of her hair.
“It’s what you do.”
“In order to be a writer you actually have to write words. Sentences and whole paragraphs. Pages. I haven’t done too well with that lately.”
“You can’t give up. Won’t let you.”
She’d recently asked him if he was doing everything he wanted to with his life, and he’d taken the egotistical way out. Pretended he’d achieved all he wanted and from here on out it was all gravy. Liar. He still had so much to do, and time could be running out. How much longer before he had too much to lose like all the other guys?
Something in his gut told him it was already too late.
“You believe in me? But you haven’t even read my stuff.”
“I might point out that you haven’t let me, but that’s not the issue. You’re in competition with only one person, Diana. You.”
“And I’m not exactly kicking my own ass here.”
“Whose fault is that?”
“Okay, okay. You’re right.” She smiled and put a hand on his leg and when it slid up to his thigh he got quiet. “Are you coming by tonight?”
“I have dinner with the family, my mom’s place. You want to come?”
She blinked. “No, that’s okay. I promised Gran I’d have dinner with her. But why don’t you come by after dinner?”
Another booty call? Not that he was complaining. “Yeah. That’s what I wanted to tell you. You been watching the wildfire coverage?”
She grimaced. “Of course. One firefighter died. So scary.”
“That almost never happens.”
“Right.” She locked eyes with him, and he would have sworn she read his mind. “Wait. You’re not thinking—”
“I’ve been waiting for them to call up our squad but it occurred to me I could just drive up there on my own.”
“Just—drive there?”
“Don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner.”
“But you’re needed here. What about your rotation at the firehouse?”
“I’ve got the next four days off. Normally, I’d be working with Wallace’s crew but he can do without me. I’m going to talk to him about it tonight.”
She shifted away from him. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I wanted you to know where I’d be.”
“No.” She stood up. “You wanted me to worry. You want to be a hero, that’s your choice. You know what? I refuse to worry!”
“Wait a minute. I didn’t—”
“The hell you didn’t. I don’t want to be ‘that girl.’ The one who begs you not to go.”
“Hey, I don’t—”
“Listen, everyone makes choices every day of their lives. To run into harm’s way for whatever honorable reason. To do their job. But you’re looking to put yourself in danger before you’re called in. I don’t get it.”
He thought about Jake. He’d also made a choice. A selfish choice. A choice Scott wasn’t sure he’d ever forgive. “They need help.”
“And they’re getting it. They’ll call up your squad when you’re needed. Until then, if you go there, you’re doing it out of some misguided need to be a hero.”
Hell, no one had ever talked to him that way. He grabbed her wrist. “Wait a damn
minute—”
She shook him off, and he let go. “I’ve got to get back to work. Here comes Mrs. Anderson.”
He opened the door to Mrs. Anderson. “Morning.”
“Hello, young man. How are you this fine morning?”
“Super.” He slid what he hoped was a pissy look to Diana, then left the shop.
If he’d just gone out of town and not told her a word, would he be any better off or would she think he was ignoring her?
Would he ever understand women?
Scott drove over to mom’s house later that same day. He’d tell Wallace his plans tonight so he could make adjustments to his crew. Knowing his brothers, they wouldn’t try and talk him out of it. By now they realized it was wasted breath. He’d do whatever the hell he wanted and they couldn’t stop him.
Besides, he was way past the days when he’d go off halfcocked and jump in without thinking. He’d given this a lot of thought, and was sick of waiting. He didn’t blame any of the guys in his squad. Benny was married and all those foster kids depended on him and his wife. But Scott was a single man, completely unattached. No ex-wife counting on his support. No kids. Unlike rookie, he didn’t even have a parent to help support. His mother was taken care of for life. Billy had done that single-handedly even before Giancarlo had been part of the picture.
The time to sacrifice, if he was ever going to do it again, was now or never. And damn if he wasn’t ready.
Diana didn’t need him. Even with the long odds that he wouldn’t be back, she’d be all right. Whether she realized it or not, she was one of the strongest women he’d ever met. He only wished she’d get that she had to live her life on her own terms, unconcerned about what anyone else believed about her.
But she’d get there.
The smells of pot roast and fresh baked bread filled his mother’s kitchen. He went straight there, hungry as a dog in heat. Mom and Gen were in the kitchen and greeted him. He kissed Mom on the cheek, ruffled Gen’s hair and swept a roll into his mouth where it proceeded to melt. Damn his sister-in-law could bake.
“Scott! Out of the kitchen. We’re not ready yet.” His mother swatted his shoulder.
“Funny, that tasted ready.” He licked his lips and tried for a second one.
Gen slapped his hand. “You’ll ruin your dinner.”
“Yes, Mom.” Scott rolled his eyes at Gen.
Oddly, she blushed. “We’re the same age.”
“Then stop being a Roll Nazi.”<
br />
“I take it you’re hungry?” Mom asked from next to the Dutch oven.
“Always.”
“You won’t have to wait much longer.”
“Great,” he said, giving up. These women guarded food like it was gold at Fort Knox. “Anyone seen Sophia?”
“She’s outside.” Mom nudged her chin in the direction of the patio.
Scott found her on the deck, her fingers flying on her phone.
“Hey.” He closed the sliding glass door for more privacy. “Did you decide what to do?”
She glanced up, her eyes shining with the same fierceness he’d seen the previous night. “I’ll tell him tonight.”
“Good.” Hell, it was just a good a night as any. Not like she was going to ruin a special occasion or anything. “When? After dinner?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Need my help or support?”
“No, but thanks. I’m going to do this myself. I’ve got to. It’s my life, isn’t it?”
“Last time I checked.”
Sophia fixed him with a probing gaze. “Want to tell me what’s going on with you and Diana?”
“What makes you think something’s going on?”
“Because when I mentioned you the other day, she got all squirrelly and shifty and acted like she’d been caught in the middle of screwing you.”
“Shit, don’t use that word. Please.”
“Oh my God, it’s true!” She squealed. “You two are doing the nasty.”
“Don’t use that word either.”
Sophia cocked her head to the side. “I don’t hear any denials.”
“It’s not any of your business.”
“I don’t see why it’s any big secret. She’s great. I like her.”
He did too, far too much. “Yeah, she is pretty great.”
“So…?”
He was not about to explain his friends-with-benefits situation to his younger sister. Not now. Or ever. Sophia was waiting for something, anything from him. And realistically, he’d asked her to spill her guts. But he couldn’t tell her anything about Diana, mostly because he wasn’t sure what he understood about whatever the hell was going on between them.
“It’s complicated.” he grimaced, hating the catch-all trendy Facebook phrase.
Thankfully, Mom interrupted. “Dinner is served.”
Inside, Brooke was, as usual, in charge of the wines even though she was pregnant and hadn’t had a drop in eight months or more. “Who’s having some of our newest Pinot Grigio? It has an earthy nutty flavor, I’m told. I can’t wait to sample it.”
“I’ll have some for you, babe.” Billy held out his wine glass.
“I will too,” Pop said.
She shifted her hefty shape around the table and filled wine glasses.
“What should we toast tonight?” Pop asked.
“Actually,” Wallace raised his glass. “We have an announcement to make.”
Holy shit, Scott thought. It took him one second to figure it out. Gen was pregnant. He wondered if it was as obvious to everyone else or if he was particularly dialed in to it since he spent so much time around the two of them.
“So do I,” Sophia said, raising her glass.
What the hell? No, no, not now. Scott tried to meet her eyes but she sat across the table from him and wasn’t paying attention.
“You go first,” Wallace said.
Of course his brother would say that. Scott sucked in a breath. Maybe Sophia had other news. Hadn’t she said she didn’t need his support, that she’d do this on her own? Right, yeah, she probably had something else to say.
“I’m dropping out of Berkeley,” Sophia said.
In the dead silence that followed her words, Scott stared at her. He understood that it had taken her a while to get to this place. To be fair, she couldn’t have any idea she’d probably ruined Wallace’s news tonight. Scott knew his brother, and no way would he want to follow this with his own good news.
“Dropping out. Berkeley.” Giancarlo was the first to speak, smile frozen in place as he held out his wine glass.
“Yes, Daddy-o.” Sophia used her term of endearment for her father.
Giancarlo laughed. “No, no, that’s funny but not appropriate dinner humor. Of course you’re not quitting school. That’s ridiculous. Now, what about your announcement, Wallace?”
“Uh, well—” Wallace said, scowling. Gen put a hand on his arm, stilling him.
Scott put his face in his hands.
Sophia stood up. “I’m sorry, but I mean it. I hate business! It’s a bunch of preppy guys and girls who want to rule corporate America. I hate them all! I’m nothing like them.”
Giancarlo’s face turned an interesting shade of crimson. “You’re as smart as any of them. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I am as smart as they are, but I don’t want to be them! Don’t you get it? I want to live my own life, not yours!” She stormed out of the dining room.
“Sophia Maria! Do not walk away from your father!” Giancarlo got up to follow her, and of course Mom left the room to follow him.
She did stop long enough to turn to the rest of them. “Go ahead and eat.”
Pop, Wallace, Gen, Billy and Brooke all sat around the table, looking a bit dazed and confused. Welcome to the club.
“Where’s that Scotch?” Wallace growled.
“What was your announcement?” Pop asked as he rose to get the Scotch bottle behind him.
“Yeah, bro,” Billy said. “Tell us.”
Gen snuggled up to Wallace, who kissed her forehead. “Actually, Gen didn’t want me to say anything yet but I was excited. I’ll consider this a sign.”
“Did you know anything about this thing with Sophia?” Brooke directed the question to Scott.
Scott wondered when that question would come up. Because of his age, he was closer to Sophia than anyone else with the possible exception of Gen.
“Yeah,” Scott admitted. “What about you, Gen? Did she say anything?”
“Not much,” Gen said. “I figured it was a tough class or something, but I never imagined this.”
“Giancarlo is going to take this hard,” Billy added. “He has this idea that Sophia is going to do a lot better with her life than running the family restaurant.”
“I don’t know why he can’t see that Sophia would never be happy as a business executive,” Brooke said. “There, I’ve said it. Isn’t it obvious?”
“Her heart is in the family restaurant.” Gen nodded.
“She grew up in it. It connects her to her mom,” Scott said.
“What you all don’t get is that Giancarlo wants a better life for her. He’s a typical dad, and he sees her potential,” Wallace said. “That shouldn’t be wasted.”
“She gets to decide what’s best for her.” Scott stood up.
“Where are you going?” Wallace asked, his forehead wrinkled in the don’t-make-me-kick-your-ass way.
“To see what I can do.”
Billy groaned. “Nah, bro. Stay out of it.”
“I can’t.”
“Yes. You can.” Wallace said. “It’s not your job to rescue everyone.”
The words hit Scott hard, because he didn’t see it as rescuing. He’d been accused of that too much in the recent past. He was no one’s hero and didn’t want to be. But what was wrong with wanting to help? If he’d only helped Jake more, maybe…
Scott ignored Wallace, and paced the hallway. He noticed that no one ate a bite as loud voices wafted in from the next room.
“I can’t allow you to throw away your future,” Giancarlo could be heard to say sternly. “We will discuss this later.”
“I want to discuss it now!” Sophia whined.
“But dinner—” Mom started.
“I’m not hungry!” Sophia shouted.
“Don’t you dare speak to Eileen that way!”
“Fine! I’m going to bed.” Sophia’s footsteps thundered up the steps.
Scott had been ab
out to leave town for the next few days. With Diana’s reaction, and the concern he could expect from his mother, he’d considered not telling them the whole truth. But he couldn’t lie to his family. They’d see right through him anyway. Anyway, he couldn’t go anywhere now because Sophia would need his support.
“Dammit.” He didn’t bother saying goodbye when he left the house.
He’d reached his truck when he could hear Wallace call out to him. He jogged over to Scott’s truck at the edge of the long circular driveway. Wallace’s brow was furrowed in concern, not at all what Scott had intended. Wallace already worried too much, and if Scott was right about the news tonight, Wallace had another eighteen years of worrying about another human being coming up.
“What the hell’s going on?”
Scott had been on his own for years, but Wallace still considered himself to be Scott’s pseudo-dad. A casualty of being the eldest brother of three and growing up with a single mom.
“Nothing. Gotta go.”
“Without eating?”
“Yeah. Who can eat now?”
“You kidding me? You once ate a hot dog while Billy dissected a frog on the kitchen table. You won’t let anything stop you from eating. For crap’s sake, you even ate tofu when Mom was on her health kick. Tofu!”
Scott stuffed his hands in his pockets and glanced up at the starry night. “Maybe I’m going to meet a girl. Maybe she’s waiting. That’s always better than food.”
Wallace seemed to consider it. “You know what I think? I think this is about Jake.”
Too bad Scott had confided in Wallace in a moment of weakness. More like over one too many beers at The Tavern. Wallace had wondered why Scott never talked about Jake anymore.
“I don’t talk about it. You know that.”
Wallace sighed and raked a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I know. It will have been four years this month. Right?”
Four years since he’d received the call from Jake’s sister, pain and accusation in her voice. Four years since his biggest failure. It hadn’t been on the battlefield but right at home. Home, the one place they all should have been safe. But maybe it was the single most dangerous place to be, because a soldier got complacent. Relaxed. Lost his edge. Or gave up.
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