by D C Little
“I don’t know what oath you’re talking about, and I don’t care what you were doing in the same bed. If you’re worried about it, make it official.”
Arland stepped back and looked at him.
“Sorry, man. I just...I need to restock my pack and head out. Maybe change my socks at the least.”
“No, you’re right. And yes, you need more supplies. Let me help you with that. You can use my boots, too. Those look soggy. You should let Laurie treat them. She made mine waterproof.”
“I need that, but not tonight. I’ve got to get to my family.”
“It’s my duty to tell you to rest and leave in the morning,” Arland said, crossing his arms.
“And you know I won’t.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Laurie came to the door, curly hair unruly around her head, holding a bag. “Jerky, dried fruit, water, and,” she held out the other hand, “dry socks with a waterproof coating.”
“Isn’t she the best?” Arland asked, pride lining his voice.
“Yes,” he said, taking the items from her. “Thank you.”
“Don’t be mad at her.” Laurie leaned against the side of the dwelling. “She only did what she felt she had to.”
“I know,” Blake said, and though he did, fear filled him. “But she had no idea what she was walking into. I won’t be able to rest until I see them safe.”
“I don’t think Ryan was lying. The poor kid was terrified. It was only him and his dad up there.”
“No mother?” he asked.
“She had died.”
Blake nodded. Yeah, more and more he saw why Kris felt she had to go. At least she had enough sense to tell Arland exactly where.
“You know where they are?” Laurie asked.
“Oh yeah.” He watched the moon for a moment. “I should be there about sun-up, if I can keep a good pace.”
“You look exhausted,” Laurie said, reaching a hand out to feel his forehead, then his pulse, and then squeezed his fingertips.
“Luckily, you are hot headed. It’s heated your extremities.”
“Finally, a good thing about it.” He forced out a laugh.
Arland had a stump sitting outside his doorway. Blake sat on it to change out his socks.
Laurie picked them up and wrung them out. “Let me treat your boots after you get back.”
“They used to be great, but I’ve worn holes in them in places and the leather is getting weak.”
“We can get a few more years out of them. You’ll see.”
Blake didn’t want to think what would happen then. What would they do for shoes? Clothes? Some already had such patch-work pants and jackets, not much was left of the original garment.
He shook his head. Delirium made him unfocused.
“You really should get at least an hour or so of rest, brother.” Arland landed a hand on his shoulder.
“I can’t. I’ll rest when I see they’re safe.” He stood, stuffed the offered bag into his pack, and slung it over his shoulder. “Thank you, again. I might not be bringing them back tomorrow, but expect us the next day. If not...”
“I’ll send out some men.”
Blake nodded and strapped on his snowshoes before following the start of the trail his family had created. The parallel tracks brought back memories. If only he had his skis now. He would be so much faster.
“We’re going to have to make skis,” Blake said before he got too far away from Arland.
“I’ll get Frank working on that right away.”
“Good.” Blake started to pull away before turning one last time. “Oh, Arland? I left a surprise for you in the meat shack. Ask Kevin for more details in the morning.”
As Blake turned back toward the trail, a small smile pulled at him in satisfaction. He wished he could see Arland’s face when he saw the beef, but his family was more important.
*****
Even though exhaustion overwhelmed Kris, she couldn’t sleep. The rapid, haggard breathing of Henry, Ryan’s soft pleas, and the constant thought of Blake coming back to find them missing kept her tossing and turning. From the sound of movement from the others, she could tell no one really slept that well.
Lexi stayed by Henry and Ryan’s side, murmuring words of encouragement and empathy. Her strength amazed Kris. If she had been in the medic’s place, she didn’t know if she could handle it. Doctoring took so much emotional stability.
“Mom.” Tucker’s whispered voice had her turning toward him.
He lay beside her as they shared their blankets to keep warm, though the little wood stove did a wonderful job keeping the cabin toasty. She almost wished she could bring it back with them. The thought brought her instant guilt.
“Yes, Sweetie.” She smoothed his hair back. “Having trouble sleeping?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Do you think Dad will come for us?”
Kris blew out a breath. “It depends on how long we’re here and when he gets back, but you can bet he will come if we aren’t there when he gets back to camp.”
“Will he be mad at us?”
“Maybe, but he’ll get over it when he understands the situation.”
“I don’t like it when he gets mad.”
“I know. I don’t either. He gets mad because he’s scared, though. You see,” she said as she pulled him in for a cuddle, “we’re everything to him, and when he’s scared, it comes out as anger.”
“You don’t get angry when you’re scared.”
“No, but we’re all different, Sweetie. Your dad does his best. His first concern is always our safety.”
“He’s a good dad. I’m lucky to have him.”
“Yes, he is a great dad, and we are lucky to have him.”
He moved so his mouth was right next to her ear. “I am so sad for Ryan. He already doesn’t have a mom, and now he won’t have a dad.”
“It is sad, Tuck. We will have to be patient and kind with him.”
“I will,” he said and snuggled in deeper. “I don’t even want to think about not having you and Dad.”
“You don’t have to. Just send out a prayer for Ryan and his dad, and then get some rest.” She kissed the top of his head and held him close.
Mercy stirred behind her, but kept on sleeping. Kris shifted so she could wrap an arm around both children. Her heart ached. To ease her heart and help Tucker sleep, she started softly singing a song she used to sing Tucker to sleep with when he was younger.
She must have fallen asleep as she sang, for the next thing she knew, streams of dawn light shone through the cracks in the cabin walls. Her children slept curled up against her.
The first thing Kris noticed was the quiet, the lack of ragged breathing. She sucked in a breath as her throat swelled and tears came to her eyes. Gingerly, she pulled herself loose from her children, blinked her eyes to focus them to see Ryan laying across his dad’s chest.
Ryan’s body shook with silent sobs. He made no sound, but clung tight to his dad. Lexi sat next to him, her hand on his back, tears streaming down her face, dark circles under her eyes.
Kris warred with herself. Part of her yearned to escape the grief filling the cabin. It brought up uncomfortable memories and thoughts of her own parents along with the fact she probably would never see or talk with them again. The other part of her wanted to get up and offer support to Ryan and to Lexi.
The awkwardness of the situation filled her.
With indecision weighing heavy on her, she sat up. Lexi’s tired eyes met hers as Ryan stirred under her hand.
“We have to bury him,” Ryan said, his voice monotone. He wiped his eyes that seemed even darker and deeper than before.
“All in time, Honey.” Lexi swept the boy’s long hair out of his eyes.
“No, today. This morning.”
Butler stirred from behind Kris. She turned to meet his eyes. He pushed out of his blankets and moved to squat by the boy. “The ground is frozen, but I will do my best.”
“He wanted to
be buried by the large oak behind the cabin.” Ryan didn’t look at Butler. He stared at his dad, who finally lay in peace.
“He isn’t in pain anymore, Buddy.”
Ryan slowly moved his gaze up to Butler. He stared at him with an unreadable expression.
Beside her Tucker and Mercy both stirred.
“Mama, Mama,” Mercy reached for her.
“Mom, I have to go potty,” Tucker said with a yawn.
“Okay, come on,” she said and stood. She picked Mercy up, but before she took them outside, she walked over to Ryan. “I am very sorry, Ryan. We will help in any way we can.”
He nodded and looked down.
Kris grabbed Tucker’s hand, and they stepped out from the dark, grief-filled room. She couldn’t imagine what Ryan was going through, alone at such a young age. Admiration for Lexi filled her, and she was glad that she was there.
Had losing her son made her stronger in that aspect or given her the ability to be so present for the boy?
Tucker ran through the snow ahead of her and Mercy, finding a tree to relieve himself on. The brisk air seeped through her coat, and she tucked Mercy into her jacket. They weren’t that far away from camp, but those miles increased in elevation drastically.
The snow was deeper, the air colder, and life harder. She had noticed the food stores that filled the cabin. They had prepared well.
“Dada, Dada, home, Dada, home,” Mercy babbled happily.
“Yes, Dada, home,” she repeated absently.
“Mom?” Tucker called from by the tree.
“Yes, Sweetie,” she said, still thinking of Ryan and the situation they had lived in here.
“Mom!” The urgency in his voice made her shake her head and turned toward him. He ran back toward her, sending snow flying in the air.
Panic sent sharp pin pricks across Kris’s chest, and her heart raced as she pulled Tucker to her, looking frantically for what had scared him.
“A man! I think it’s Dad!”
She realized then that Tucker wasn’t scared, but excited. She followed his finger that pointed from the direction they had come, and sure enough, someone crested the rise. That someone strode with purpose, his gaze seeming to sizzle right into her, his presence overbearing even at this distance.
“It’s him isn’t it?” Tucker said yanking on her arm.
“I believe so, Sweetie,” she said, hearing the quiver in her voice.
“Dada, home!” Mercy wiggled, trying to get down.
She had been trying to walk, but there was no way she would put her down in the snow.
“Okay, okay. We’ll go out to meet him.” She shifted Mercy to her hip, wishing she had grabbed her wrap. Her stomach roiled and trepidation whirled inside of her. As happy as she was that Blake was here, she had no idea how angry he would be at her, but she guessed he would be livid.
The crunching of the snow had her turning to see Butler coming up to them. “He made it, huh? Must have been a short hunting trip.”
“It would seem so,” Kris sighed.
“I will bring him down for you.” Butler didn’t stop for an answer, but strode ahead.
“Mom, I’m going ahead, too!” Tucker pulled from her side and took off at a run toward his dad.
He didn’t have his snowshoes on as Butler did. Even as light as he was, he sunk down a bit, so the going was slow.
Kris took a step as Mercy giggled, babbled, and wiggled like she could squiggle all the way to her dad. She sucked in a deep breath and followed carefully in the deep snow. With self-talking, she reminded herself that no matter what, they were married, they were a team, and they would make it through this.
~9~
Blake almost stumbled when the relief of seeing his family hit him. Exhaustion had long overtaken him, but the need to ensure his family was safe overrode his body’s demands for rest. When he saw Tucker run to Kris’s side, they stared at him. He held their gaze like the lifeline it was.
A couple hundred more yards. Almost there.
He pushed on, grunting when Butler got in the way of seeing his family. A moment later, his boy came running and stumbling in the deep snow toward him. One step at a time, Blake made it closer to them.
When Butler reached him, he didn’t stop moving. He knew that the moment he did, his legs would not be convinced to push on any longer.
“They’re safe.”
“I see that,” Blake said between grit teeth. “Thank you,” he managed to push out, though in truth he didn’t know if he was still angry at his friend or not. He was too exhausted to even ponder the thought.
“Be easy on her. She made the only decision she could.”
“That’s not your place to decide,” Blake said, but in truth, he didn’t care about any of that right now.
His family was safe. His son ran toward him, and his wife and baby girl came to meet him, too. Being with them was all that mattered. The rest could be figured out after he rested.
Tucker reached him, jumping into his arms and knocking him into the deep snow.
“Dad! Are you okay? I didn’t think I could knock you over.” Tucker took his face in his hands.
Blake leaned his forehead to his son’s. “I’m so much better now,” he sighed, closing his eyes.
“Dad? Dad!” Tucker squished his cheeks.
Blake struggled to open his eyes, but finally he focused on his son’s face once more.
“You’re freezing, Dad. The cabin is warm. Come on,” Tucker said, and hopped off him, holding out a small hand to help him up.
Blake pushed over to his hands and knees. With effort, he finally got his snowshoes under him, but no matter how hard he pushed, he couldn’t stand.
Butler slipped an arm under his shoulder and pulled him onto wobbling legs.
“Dad? What’s the matter? You hurt?”
Blake shook his head.
“I have a feeling your dad here pushed through the night after a very long day. Even superheroes get tired, Tuck,” Butler said.
“Oh,” Tucker said, but he wrapped his little arm around Blake’s waist. “I’ll help you, Dad. It’s warm in the cabin. You’ll feel better then, but it's sad in there. Ryan’s dad just died. Lexi did her best, but it was too late. Ryan is really sad.”
“All that and the guy died?” Blake managed to say.
“Unfortunately,” Butler said. “Before he died, the dad said he knew what was happening and needed to know that his son had found a place to take him in.”
Blake shook his head. The thought, even in his exhaustion, overwhelmed him. He pictured Tucker alone, no parents, no community. He pushed out the thought as a wave of nausea coursed through him.
“You assured him we would take care of his son?”
“Of course, but it sounded like Lexi offered personally. She lost her son and husband, but rarely talks about it.”
Blake nodded. The idea jumbled around in his mind, but he knew his words and thoughts didn’t do anything justice right now. Sorrow hung heavy on them, making it all the more important that they were together. Safe together.
He looked up as Kris and Mercy approached. The hesitation in Kris’s eyes disengaged when she saw him up close.
“Hurt or exhaustion?” she asked.
“Pushed too hard. I had to make sure you were safe.”
“You made it. You can rest now.”
He reached for her, and she willingly fell into his arms. He was grateful she did so more gently than their son had.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered out, her voice heavy with emotion.
“I love you, and who you are. You’re all safe. That’s what matters.” Blake kissed her, then his daughter, then his son.
Haziness filled his sight, and the world spun. He squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself using his wife.
“Come on.” Butler, who had stepped aside, shifted himself under his shoulder again. “Let’s get you inside.”
Blake noticed the heaviness as soon as he entered the cabin. It t
ook a minute for his eyes to adjust. When they did, they focused on a boy of about ten with dark eyes and shaggy hair. He sat next to the body of his father, grief showing in every expression. The boy didn’t show any surprise at Blake’s arrival.
“This is my dad, Ryan. He came to make sure we were all okay.”
Ryan stared at him for a long moment before looking back down at his own father, still and stiff.
“I am so sorry for what you have been through, Ryan,” Blake said as Butler led him to a pile of blankets on a mat. “We won’t be able to replace your dad, but we will give you a safe place to live.”
Ryan glanced at him as he lowered himself to the blankets, then the boy turned to look at Lexi.
“I have already promised him a home with me.” She looked at Butler and Blake did as well.
His friend nodded even as he stiffened. Blake knew it made Butler miss his family more, at least that was how he would have felt.
“We will figure it all out.” Blake lay down. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m exhausted.”
“Rest,” Lexi said.
“Oh, Tuck,” Blake said, pushing up a mite.
“I’m here, Dad.”
“I found the deer with horns. I found cattle.” Blake didn’t stay awake long enough to see their reactions. The warmth, laying down, and knowing his family was safe sent him into a deep sleep.
***
Seeing Blake exhausted, but grateful to see them, took a monstrous weight off Kris. She had the energy to help Lexi prepare Henry for burial, comfort the silent Ryan, and manage Tucker and Mercy.
Blake slept most of the morning. When he awoke, he jumped right into helping Butler hack away at the frozen ground.
Kris watched as Tucker tried to distract Ryan and invite him to play. Her sweet boy ended up wrapping an arm around his new friend.
“It’s okay, Ryan. I’ll just sit here and be sad with you.”
Ryan laid his head on the younger boy’s head and closed his eyes. A single tear rolled down his cheek.
Kris thought for sure her heart broke in that moment.
“It’s going to be tough for a long while,” Lexi whispered to her. “He will pull through. I will make sure of it.”
“I didn’t know you had lost a son,” Kris said, broaching the subject hesitantly.