by Angel Nyx
By the time the night was over and they were back at Lily and Declan’s house, Casey was exhausted but happy. She felt at home with the Ghostpoint Pack and she was excited to see what the future held for her there in New Orleans.
Chapter Three
Nikolai
Home at last. Sometimes, it was still strange to think of New Orleans as home. For so long, he hadn’t felt like he had a home. Not a real one. With all the traveling he’d done during his years in Special Ops, he hadn’t had the opportunity to put down any roots. His life had often felt empty. Yes, the team was his extended family, but he’d still felt completely alone even when he was with them. Part of that was because the rest of the team found other ways to occupy their downtime – usually through sexual encounters – but Nikolai had chosen to forgo such relations a number of years ago. With a weary sigh, he pushed those thoughts from his mind and focused on the present.
After almost two weeks in Brazil, Nikolai was glad to finally be back in New Orleans. When he’d returned the girl to her parents, he’d told them of the kind of abuse she’d suffered so they could get her the help she needed. Before he left he even told them that they could reach out to Ghostpoint Security, if they needed to. He did all he could to help put the family on the path to healing, and then he got the hell out of there. He knew the rest of the team was already on its way back home, after removing any and all evidence as to who was behind the deaths of the sick bastard and his men.
“Welcome back. Damn, you look like hell, Nikolai.” Steele, ever the joker, flashed his Pack mate, and friend, a smile.
“I’m going to ignore that. What have I missed while I was away?”
“Not much. We got a new Pack member. Well, two. Lily’s friend from Montana and her son just moved here. Met ‘em the other day. She’s cute.”
Nikolai shook his head. “Have you hit on her already?”
“Nah. I could tell she was a little nervous about meeting everyone. Figured I’d give her a bit to adjust to the fact our Pack isn’t just wolves. She’s running around here somewhere. You heading up to the office to let the Boss Man know you’re back?”
“Da, after I return my gear.” Most of the gear, they took on a job, was kept there at the warehouse that was used both as headquarters for Ghostpoint Security, as well as Pack business. “Then I will go up to my room and get some sleep.”
“Something tells me it was a rough case.”
“Da.” A growl escaped him. “When I found the girl, she was being violated by the target and another male. They are both dead.”
“Fuck, that’s rough. Poor kid. I hope to hell her parents get her into counseling because she’s going to need it. Big time.”
“I hope so, as well.” He stored his gear in his locker, waved at Steele, and left to go speak with his Alpha. With his mind preoccupied, he headed through the warehouse towards Declan’s office. As he neared the stairs leading up to the second floor, and his Alpha’s office, a scent caught his attention. It made his entire body react. His cock stiffened almost painfully, he got goose bumps, and his pulse sped up. He turned away from the stairs and followed the tantalizing scent until he found where it was coming from.
“Hey, Nikolai, you’re back. Took you long enough. The rest of the team got in last night.” Echo tilted her head at him because he was staring at Casey. “Oh, yeah, you haven’t met Casey yet. Nikolai, Casey. Casey, Nikolai. There, introductions are done.”
Nikolai stared at the female. “Nyet. This is not possible.” A growl escaped him and he quickly turned on his heel and walked away. She was a wolf. It was not possible. His tiger had to have made a mistake.
Casey
It was a rare thing for Casey to be anywhere without Jacob, but she’d allowed Lily to take him out shopping because he wanted to get Casey something for her upcoming birthday. It felt strange being there at Pack Central, as she liked to call it, without her son stretched out on the floor, drawing in his sketchpad.
She was sitting on one of the many couches, that littered the common room where the Pack often gathered, when her attention was drawn to the man approaching them. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and muscled. Short, dark blond hair, that was spiked at the top, graced his head and a pair of cobalt-blue eyes flicked around the room before settling on her.
Their eyes locked, briefly, and Casey could have sworn she felt his eyes searing her to her soul. For the first time in, well, ever, she found herself wanting to feel a man’s arms wrapped around her, and she actually leaned forward a little.
She felt a burning…need that startled her and made her wonder what was wrong with her. She’d never felt such an intense need for anyone in her life, but this feeling was almost overwhelming. Then his words hit her—“Nyet. This is not possible.”—and the breath left her in a rush. It was hard to breathe and her world felt like it was tumbling down around her. Her wolf whined as if it had just lost its other half and that, more than anything, confused the hell out of her.
“What the fuck, Nikolai? I’m sorry about him, Casey. I don’t know what the hell has gotten into him. Hey? Are you okay?”
Casey blinked at Echo’s question. It took several seconds for her brain to formulate a proper response. Was she okay? No, no she wasn’t, but she had no idea why his words had hit her so hard. “I’m fine,” she lied. “I need to head back to the house so I can be there when Lily and Jacob get back from shopping. I’ll see you later.” She’d gotten good at hiding her emotions over the years. She’d had to if she’d wanted to stay sane while living in Slatefall. Now she put those skills to use so she could leave with her head held high.
She kept her composure until she was home. Thank the gods she was home alone because the instant the door closed behind her, she crumbled. Her heart felt like it was being ripped from her chest. She didn’t even know him; how could his words have such an effect on her? She didn’t fully understand her body’s reaction to him. Or her wolf’s, for that matter.
After crying in front of the door for several minutes, Casey picked herself up, grabbed her bag where it had fallen to the floor, and went to her room. Once there, she crawled onto her bed and curled up on her side as more tears slipped down her cheeks. She felt like her heart was breaking in two, the way she imagined it would feel if she’d ever fallen in love and then lost that love.
“What’s wrong, Mama?”
Casey’s eyes popped open at the question. She realized she’d fallen asleep and wasn’t entirely sure how long she’d been that way. “Nothing’s wrong, kiddo. I just needed a nap.” She got up and tugged her son onto her lap to cuddle him.
“Your eyes are all puffy like mine get when I cry. How come they look like that, Mama?”
She winced. Obviously she hadn’t been asleep long if her eyes were still puffy. “Oh, I just read a sad story, that’s all.” She hated not telling her son the truth, but she didn’t even understand her own reaction; how could she expect Jacob to understand it?
“Oh. Okay. Aunt Lily said we’re gonna make homemade pizza tonight! She bought all kinds of stuff for it. She even said I can have one with ham and pineapples!” It was his favorite, closely followed by plain cheese pizza.
Casey laughed softly at his excitement. “Aunt Lily is going to spoil you rotten.” She kissed his cheek. “Did you have fun today?”
“Yes! I got you the perfect gift but you can’t see it until Saturday.”
“I’m sure you did.”
Jacob heard his mother’s stomach growl and he gave her a mock glare. “Did you forget to eat lunch, Mama?”
She gave him a look of contrition. “Oops. I guess I did. How about we go see what I can find in the kitchen? I’ll bet you could use a snack.” He had a voracious appetite, which, she’d been assured by her mother, was normal for a growing boy.
“Can I have some cookies?”
“Only if you eat something healthy first. You know the rule, kiddo.”
“Yes, Mama.”
“There you are. I saw your
car and figured you…” Lily’s voice trailed off at the puffiness of Casey’s eyes. “Case? What’s wrong?”
“Mama read a sad story.” Jacob climbed onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar as he answered before his mother could.
‘Later,’ Casey mouthed to Lily. She knew her friend wouldn’t buy the ‘sad story’ excuse.
Lily nodded slightly to acknowledge what she said. “Did Jacob tell you we’re having pizza tonight for dinner?”
“He did. He told me Aunt Lily even said he could have ham and pineapple on one of them. That just happens to be his favorite, in case you didn’t know.”
Lily laughed. “Oh, Jacob made sure I was very aware of it. Closely followed by cheese pizza. And he made sure I knew he didn’t like black olives so if I make a supreme with them he won’t touch it.”
Casey laughed. “Yeah. I think that’s the only pizza topping I’ve found that he doesn’t like. Of course, he doesn’t like black olives, period, so that’s probably why he doesn’t like them on pizza.”
“Black olives are yucky.” He sat patiently waiting while his mother made him a snack of carrot sticks, celery sticks, and fresh broccoli, with ranch dressing for dipping in, and apple slices with fruit dip on the side.
Casey set the plate in front of him and ruffled his hair. “I’m just glad you eat some vegetables. Eat up, kiddo, and you can have some of the chocolate-chip cookies we made the other day.”
“Yes!” He bounced in his seat and dug into his snack.
Casey fixed herself a sandwich and added carrot sticks on the side before she poured them both a glass of juice and sat down to eat.
“I’ll be out on the back porch,” Lily said. Lily and Casey’s eyes locked before Lily headed outside.
Casey nodded and watched her go. She waited until after she’d eaten her lunch and Jacob had finished his snack before she went to go talk to her. “Sweetheart, I need to go talk to Lily about something. Why don’t you take the cookies to the coffee table where you left your drawing pad?”
“Okay, Mama.”
She watched her son a moment before she stepped out onto the back porch where Lily sat idly swinging on the porch swing Declan had put up.
“Alright, spill it. Why were you crying?”
Casey sat down next to her and sighed. “Honestly, I’m…confused. I was at Pack Central, talking with Echo, when something really…odd happened.”
“What? What happened?”
“I met Nikolai.” Her voice cracked on his name.
“What the fuck did Nikolai do?” Lily asked, a soft growl escaping her.
“It doesn’t make any sense to me, Lily. When our eyes met, it felt like he could see clear through to my soul. For the first time in my life I…felt desire. I wanted to know what it felt like to be held in a man’s arms and…there was such a burning need but he…” Her voice choked up and a silent tear slipped out of the corner of her eye. “He suddenly said ‘Nyet. This is not possible’ and then he took off. I swear, Lily, it felt like he’d ripped my heart from my chest. It felt like the way I imagine it would feel if I fell in love and lost it.”
A growl escaped Lily. “I’m going to kill him. I swear to fucking gods, I am going to kill that tiger. Casey, honey, what you’re feeling…that’s how it feels when you meet your mate.”
Casey gave her an incredulous look and then laughed. “Yeah, right. Are you forgetting one very important detail? I’m a wolf, he’s a tiger. That’s not…” Her voice trailed off as she thought about Nikolai’s words. “Possible,” she finished in a whisper. Oh God. That was what he meant. He knew. He knew what she was feeling and instead of accepting his mate, he’d denied her. That was why it felt like he’d ripped her heart from her chest. “How…that doesn’t make any sense.”
“Maybe not, but you described what I felt the first time I met Declan. That burning desire to be with him, to know what it felt like to have his arms wrapped around me.” She moved to get off the swing.
“Where are you going?”
“I told you. I’m going to fucking kill him for hurting you.”
“No.” Casey grabbed her arm. “Don’t. It’s not worth it, Lily. He…he doesn’t want me. I don’t blame him. He’s gorgeous, he could have any woman he wants. Why would he want to tie himself down to someone who doesn’t trust men, someone who has a child?” Someone who wasn’t attractive.? That part she added silently.
“First, Casey, he doesn’t know that you have trust issues and I’m not sure he knows about Jacob. Remember, he wasn’t here when you arrived so he didn’t get to meet Jacob. Second, any man would be damn lucky to have you. You’re beautiful, sweet, compassionate, and that little boy in there, he’s not a deterrent, he’s a bonus.”
Casey shook her head. “It’s okay, Lily. It really is. I know I’m not much of a catch and…he deserves better.” Her self-esteem had taken a hard hit by his denial. She got up and headed back into the house, leaving Lily to her thoughts.
Nikolai
He’d intended on going to his room and sleeping after speaking with Declan, but after his run-in with Casey, he knew it would be a futile attempt. Instead, he went to the training room and worked out, in hopes of distracting himself from the way his tiger reacted, every time he thought about the look that crossed her face when he refused to accept what his instincts were telling him. The pain that crossed her face, that filled her lovely blue eyes with unshed tears. “Nyet,” he growled and tried to push the image away.
He tried to focus on working out the frustration he was feeling, but his mind kept wandering to another time when something similar happened. Another woman he inadvertently hurt with his words. Once upon a time he dated humans. Back when he was a young adult and so full of himself. Back when he tended to think with the wrong head. Her name was Amelia. She was a petite thing, much like Casey. Amelia had looked at the world with a naivety that was dangerous. She trusted too easily. Closing his eyes, he saw the scene in his mind as if it had just happened instead of fifteen years ago.
“You’re awfully quiet tonight, Nikolai. Is something wrong?”
Nikolai turned his attention to the woman curled up next to him. “I am leaving.”
“What do you mean? Where are you going?”
“Wherever I am sent. I told you I was approached by a government official. I am joining the special organization.”
“You told me you weren’t going to take it. What does this mean for us? When will I see you?”
“You won’t. I will not be returning here. A male has needs and it would be unkind to make you feel I will not satisfy those needs. You should move on and find someone who is content to stay and give you the life you seek.”
“But…I thought you loved me. I gave my virginity to you.”
“Sex is not love. It is just sex. To think otherwise is naive and foolish.”
Even now, fifteen years later, the hurt he’d seen in her eyes, before she burst into tears and bolted from the room, filled him with shame. It wasn’t long after that he decided that he wouldn’t get involved with a human again. It just wasn’t worth it. That didn’t mean he didn’t have his moments of loneliness and restlessness. There’d been times, over the years, where he’d considered trying again, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.
“You fucking bastard.”
Nikolai was jarred from the memory and his head snapped up at the anger in his Alpha’s mate’s voice. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what Lily was referring to.
“What, nothing to say for yourself, Nikolai? Or is your silence because you agree with me? Do you have any fucking clue what you’ve done? Of course you don’t, because learning anything about Pack members you haven’t worked with and killed alongside, is beneath you, isn’t it?”
“Whoa, what did you do
to piss Lily off?” Echo had entered the weight room to catch the end of Lily’s comment.
“What did he do? I’ll tell you. He took one look at Casey and, without giving a damn about the effect his words could have on her, he refused the connection between them because he thinks having a wolf for his mate is beneath him.”
Echo blinked. “That’s what that was about earlier? Shit, Nikolai, really? Please tell me you didn’t refuse her just because she’s a wolf. I had no idea you were such a bigot.”
“Nyet. It is not because of bigotry or because I believe she is beneath me. Wolves and tigers do not mate,” he said in his defense.
“Maybe not in the animal kingdom, but clearly, in the shifter world, they do. Otherwise, neither of you would have felt the mate connection,” Echo countered.
“Oh, they felt it,” Lily said, anger present in her voice. “And then this bastard decided to rip Casey’s heart out by refusing her.” Her hands balled into fists. “Do you have any idea how hard it has been to get Casey to a place where she has begun to have confidence in herself again? I haven’t been there for her the last six years, but I know how much she’s struggled, and with a single word, you destroyed it.”
Nikolai felt a growl trickle out before he got control of his tiger. “What are you talking about? She is a beautiful woman; how could she think otherwise of herself?” The look on Lily’s face told him she’d just had a realization.
“Shit, that’s right, you weren’t here when I filled everyone in. Damn, I’m sorry, Nikolai. I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that.” She sighed and rubbed her temples a moment. “Almost nine years ago, Casey let a friend of hers talk her into going to a party. While there, a guy slipped something into her drink when he put his arm around her, and once it kicked in, he took her off into the woods and raped her. Thanks to Slatefall being a very small town and his father being the very wealthy mayor, he got away with it. She was fourteen years old. Her parents tried to talk her out of having Jacob but she refused to have an abortion. Part of the reason she took my offer and moved her and Jacob here was because it got her away from her rapist. He denied ever sleeping with her, so when she had Jacob, she put the father as unknown. He recently started noticing that Jacob bore some resemblance to him, but she doesn’t want him anywhere near her son. If she’d stayed there, chances are he could have used family money and influence to take Jacob from her, but with them living here, he’d have a harder time of it because we would bring the police report and his statement to them, denying ever being with her, into it, and he’d find himself in trouble. In Montana, the statute of limitations for rape is ten years, or ten years after the victim turns eighteen. Even though it happened almost nine years ago, Casey is only going on twenty-three, so there are still seven years left on it.”