Inside the car, I rocked back and forth. “Samuel Robertson,” I repeated quietly to myself. So many thoughts were going through my mind. Could he be my father? Or maybe he knew my father. “I need to find him.”
William patted my shoulder. “I know you’re anxious, but maybe it’s best to stop a minute and think this over.”
“What do you mean?”
“I came across that name a few times while I was looking through the archives. In much of the ’90s, a Samuel Robertson was arrested several times for bar fights and disturbing the peace. So if this is the same person, it’s evident there is some dysfunction.”
I took a deep breath. “Then what should I do?”
“Maybe text your mom, ask her about that man. Even if you have to stretch the truth a bit.”
“Stretch the truth how?”
“Maybe say a man by the name of Samuel Robertson messaged you and said he knew her. Her reaction may tell you a lot.”
I nodded. “Good idea. You know, you are so full of ideas today.”
He kissed me on the forehead. “I just want you to find the truth.”
I pulled out my phone, took a deep breath, and whispered, “Here goes nothing.”
Do you know a Samuel Robertson? He says he knows you, I texted her.
How she responded could be the answer to the almost twenty-four-year mystery of who my biological father was.
Chapter 12
I didn’t want to call my mom until I was back at William’s apartment. In the meantime, she had sent me a flurry of texts, all begging me to call her. I glanced over at William who was focused on the road probably in his own little world. Like me, he internalized things rather than talked about them. We were more alike than either of us wished to admit.
He caught my glance. “What are you thinking about?” he asked.
“I’m just trying to think about what my mom is going to say. It’s obvious the name hit a nerve. She keeps texting me.”
“Why not call her?”
I shrugged. “I don’t feel like doing it in the car. I don’t know. I might get emotional.”
“Okay?” He moved his right hand from the steering wheel to my left thigh. “I don’t mind, Serenity. I can only imagine the thoughts going through your mind.”
Samuel Robertson was on my mind. All I had was a name and a huge question mark following it. Who was he? Was he my biological father or just my mother’s fling, one of her many lovers over the years? I stared at the last text message from Mom, and the chances of him being just another man with no meaning seemed unlikely.
Please call me, Serenity. Don’t talk to him anymore until you call me.
What are you hiding Mom? I thought. What is it about Samuel Robertson that makes you so afraid? But the only way I’d find out was by asking her. I needed to keep my story straight and not lead her on to my suspicions.
I sighed, resolving myself to just get it over with. “I’ll do it. I’m going to call her. Wish me well, William.”
He flashed me a smile. “You’ll do fine, Hun.”
I dialed her number. The phone rang several times before my mom picked up.
“Serenity!” There was a pause and heavy breathing on the other end. “Okay, I’m glad you called. Um…”
“Take a deep breath.” I gnawed at my upper lip, trying to keep my rising anxiety at bay. I heard Mom exhale a laboured breath. “Okay, better?”
“Yes. What did he say? Tell me exactly what Samuel said.”
Dots of perspiration formed on my forehead as I swallowed several times. “He asked me if I knew you.”
“Okay, and?”
“I told him I did, and then I asked him how he knew you.”
My mom’s voice became a little more frantic, but she maintained her calm. “And what did he say? And what did you say back? Don’t leave anything out, please.”
I fiddled with the collar of my shirt. “He said he knew you from back in the day and just wanted to reconnect.”
I glanced at William who mouthed, “Ask her who he is.”
“She doesn’t know,” she whispered back, covering the speaker of my phone.
“Who is he, Mom?” I blurted. “And don’t tell me no one.” Mom wasn’t going to hide this from me, I wouldn’t let her. She wasn’t going to drag this out a moment longer. Either she told me who he was, or I would hunt him down and ask him myself. My posture stiffened.
“He’s no one,” she said.
“Okay, fine, don’t tell me. I’m going to ask him myself how he knows you.”
“No, you can’t. Don’t!” The desperation in her voice was chilling.
“Mom, you either tell me who he is, or I’ll message him back and ask him, which I think I’ll end up doing anyway, but I’ll give you the chance first.”
There was a silence.
“Okay, Mom. It’s fine. I’m going to message him myself. I’m not playing games with you.” Without waiting for a response, I hung up.
William stared at me.
“She’ll call back,” I told him. I knew Mom.
And less than two minutes later she called me back and I answered. “Hello?”
“Please, Serenity, don’t ask him. Don’t message him. Forget he exists.”
“What are you hiding from me? Why don’t you want me to know who he is? What is the big secret? Because if you don’t tell me, I’ll find out. I’m so sick of you lying.”
She took a deep breath. She mumbled something under her breath. “He’s… well… he’s your sperm donor.” She said the last word with such malice that it took me off guard for a moment, but I quickly recovered.
She had finally admitted it. Samuel Robertson was my father, or according to Mom, my “sperm donor.” So what was so bad about him? Why did she want to keep him away from me?
Before I could inquire further, she continued, her voice on edge. “There. Are you happy? Now leave it alone, Serenity. You don’t want to know him. You are better off without him. Block him.” I could hear her voice crack. “Just leave it be. Some things are better left in the past, and he is one of them.”
“Why?” I asked. I wasn’t going to give up so easily. “How bad can he be? He seemed like a successful person based on his profile,” I lied.
“It’s all lies. Don’t believe anything he says,” Mom continued before her voice became slightly quieter. “He isn’t who you think he is. We went out for a few weeks, and then he broke my heart. He left me, Serenity. He was into drugs, and last I heard he was in and out of jail. He wasn’t a good guy. He pretends to be, but he isn’t. Please, just let it go.”
My chest ached. So she kept me from my father because he left her. The librarian had said that they never went out, that Mom only had a little crush. Was the librarian confusing a relationship with some casual sex? Did my mom actually love him? Did he even want me? My mom never had a great track record with men, and she always got her heart broken.
The world around me slowed to a standstill.
“Did you hear me?” My mom’s voice was becoming firmer, almost angry.
I took a deep breath. “Yes, I heard you, Mom. I heard you loud and clear.”
“So will you please let this go?” Her voice became gentle once more.
“How bad can he really be, Mom?” I asked, more rhetorically than anything else. How bad could he be? “I mean, how much worse could it get? Considering I spent half my life with strangers anyway. Some better than others. I have to know, Mom. I have to know if he wanted me. Why wasn’t he there for me? For us? Why didn’t he love me?”
I heard some soft crying on the other end.
“Don’t cry, Mom. It’s not your fault.”
She mumbled a weak, “Yes, it is.”
“I just want to know who he is. That other part of me, you know? He may be the worst person in the world, and you could have my best interests in heart when you made the choice you did, but I deserve to know. I deserve to know what kind of person he is. It has nothing to do with you now.�
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“I never wanted you to get hurt, Serenity. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry that I keep letting you down. You, Dayton, and Harmony, I keep letting you all down.”
“Then please do this one thing for me, Mom. If you know where he lives or anything more about him, you have to tell me. I just need closure. I don’t expect a relationship with him. But I need to know. Please.”
She wasn’t going to tell me, I knew it. But I had to try. Mom was the link to the truth. She was the link to the other half of my history that I had no part of. I had convinced myself long ago that it was all right that I didn’t know him. I thought I had accepted that I’d never know him, but here I was, trying to get the truth out of my mom.
“His sister — your aunt, I guess you can call her — lives not too far from you; her name is Claire Marrows. I’ve kept my eye on her over the years. Last I checked a few months ago, she still lived there and worked at Perry’s Market. As for where your… father…” She choked the word out. “…is, I don’t know.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
There was a pause. “He never messaged you, did he?”
I sighed. “No, he didn’t. I was sleuthing for answers and came across the name.”
She took a deep breath. “Should have known that son-of-a-bitch never would’ve messaged you.”
I looked out the window at the city limits. “I’ll talk to you later, Mom.”
“Just don’t say I never warned you, Serenity.” Her voice was suddenly clipped, a complete one-eighty from before, then click. She hung up on me like I knew she would.
I quickly searched for Perry’s Market on my phone to see if it was still open for the day. It was.
“Do you think we can make a pit stop?” I asked William.
“For sure. Where to?”
“Perry’s Market. If my mom’s telling the truth, my father’s sister, Claire Marrows, works there.”
“Okay, but I want to come inside with you. You don’t know any of these people.”
I nodded and returned to my thoughts.
Maybe William was a little over-protective, but I appreciated it all the same. I couldn’t help but wonder, though, what could possibly happen inside a building full of people? This Claire Marrows may not be there or even work there anymore. Maybe she wasn’t there at all and Mom was sending me off on a wild goose chase. All the possibilities were going to drive me crazy, but this Claire Marrows was my only hope to finding my biological father, and I had a list of questions I wanted answered. Like where he had been for the last twenty-four years. Or what happened that made Mom hate him enough that she’d keep him from me.
“We are just pulling up now,” William said, pulling me out of my stupor.
We reached a small brick building. We were the only ones in the parking lot. The sign outside told us that Perry’s Market was a local grocer, not the typical supermarket. From the car, I could see a woman in her early twenties stocking a shelf. Surely she wasn’t Claire. We walked inside and right by her toward the front till.
“Can I help you?” the woman behind the till asked. Her long curly hair — same texture as mine — covered her name tag.
“Um, yeah,” I paused, biting my lip. Could I do this? I stuck out my chin, my resolve firm. “I’m looking for Claire Marrows.”
The woman’s eyes narrowed. “Do I know you?”
William rubbed my back. “Um, no,” I said. My throat itched. What if Mom was lying again, or what if she didn’t want to tell me anything about my father? I gnawed at my nails as I wondered if coming here at all was a good idea.
“Okay… so what can I do for you?” She had one hand on the counter and one by her side out of sight. She peered at me, curious but almost bored.
I gulped. At least she wasn’t angry or demanding, unlike Mom. “Have you heard of my mother?” I paused to catch a breath. Damnit! I was going to fuck this up before I even got the words out of my mouth. “She was involved with your brother Samuel Robertson, and she said you’d know where to find him.” Once I’d said it, sweat beaded on my forehead as my brain started swirling in multiple directions.
She twisted her upper lip. “I don’t know who you are, or why you want to talk to Samuel, but you better have a good reason.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw the employee we saw earlier scurry toward the back.
William cleared his throat. “Look, I’m sorry we showed up here unannounced. My girlfriend’s mother, Melody Rupert, told her that Samuel is her biological father.”
Claire gasped, her angry look dissipating and her hand flying to cover her mouth.
“I know this is sudden,” I tried to explain. “I just found out myself, but I need to know where to find Samuel. I have so many questions, I mean… Please, do you know where he is?”
Claire took a step back. “I remember her. Melody.” She swore something under her breath.
What had my mom done?
“She told me you’d know where to find him,” I pressed. “I don’t want any money or anything like that from him. I just need to know. Please.”
I swore I could almost see a hint of pity in her eyes, but I didn’t care. I just needed answers.
Claire shook her head. “I doubt he’d want anything to do with that woman. Whether or not she’s your mama, she is no good. And I don’t think he had a child with her.”
My heart fell and I tried in vain to push the tears back from my eyes.
She sighed. “Give me your number and I’ll pass it on. But don’t count on it.”
A little bit of hope blossomed when she said that. With a heavy sigh and realizing I had no other choice, I agreed. She passed me a slip of paper and I wrote down my first and last name — in case he didn’t remember my mother — and under it my cell number. I just hope he’d contact me. Claire took the piece of paper from me and studied it.
“Serenity…” She stared at me intensely. “I’ll make sure to let him know. Now you and your friend here either buy something or make your exit.”
I gave a weak thank you and we left the market.
“She was not a very pleasant woman,” I said once we got back into the car.
William glanced away for a moment. “No, she wasn’t.”
“What’s wrong?”
He scrubbed the back of his neck. “Probably nothing, but something about her rubbed me the wrong way.”
I nodded. “I know what you mean.” She was rude, but something about her denial, her defensiveness, made me suspicious.
We sat for a few minutes in silence before pulling away from the curb. For a half-mile or so, William lightly tapped the steering wheel, his lips pursed.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked tenderly.
He continued to stare at the road ahead of him. “I have a friend who I’m going to ask to look into both Claire Marrows’ and Samuel Robertson’s backgrounds.”
“Oh? Why?” My heart skipped a beat. What did he have on his mind?
“I care about you, and I don’t want to see you get hurt. It could be that Claire is suspicious, but I just want to rule out any dangers. Do you understand?”
“Yeah.” I smiled. He’d read my mind, and I reveled in our connection. “I appreciate it.”
When we returned to his flat and sat in his parking spot, William moved closer. His cheeks were glowing, his gaze intense. Without a sound, I leaned in, and our lips sealed. As the tension left my body, I entered a place of tranquility.
When we parted, our eyes connected, shining. I stroked his hand. He was my guardian angel and had entered my life at its lowest point. My heart sped up. I reached in again, my hand grasping the back of his neck as I pulled him closer. His wet lips caused my body to go wild, like fireworks cracking at midnight on New Year’s Eve. Our lips lingered until we parted for the second time. I peered into his eyes, and a smile spread across my face, from cheek to cheek. “Thank you for helping me today.” He had done so much for me; there was no way I’d be able to repay him.
&nbs
p; He grinned, placing his hands on my shoulders. “I’d do anything for you. I’ll get that background check done, and then you’ll get to know your dad.” He wavered for a moment, moving his hands to meet mine. “But know no matter what, I’ll be here for you.”
A tear formed in my eye, and I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. It was on the tip of my tongue, whatever it was. Just his presence brought me to my knees, made me feel safe, happy, and grateful.
William wiped away the tear. “Do you want to go pick up takeout and maybe watch a movie before going to bed?”
I nodded.
Half an hour had passed when we went inside his place, food in hand, and sat on the sofa. Our legs brushed. At that moment as we ate I realized how lucky I was.
“William,” I said.
He swallowed his food. “Yeah?”
“I love you.”
It came out of nowhere, but I meant it. I did.
He smiled, and we embraced. “I love you, too.”
Chapter 13
I scrambled around William’s apartment looking for something to wear. I hadn’t been home in four nights, and with everything that had been going on, it never crossed my mind to do some laundry. I took a second look in the bedroom for a clean shirt. Anything. As I searched, William strolled into the dimly-lit bedroom wearing only his boxers.
“Are you looking for something?” he asked, lounging on the edge of the unmade bed.
I sighed, plopping down next to him. “Something to wear.”
He gently rubbed my shoulder. “We can stop by your place so you can find something to put on, but we’d have to get going soon.”
“What time is it?”
“Shortly after four.”
I groaned. I didn’t want to go to work. I wanted to crawl back under the covers and cuddle. William smirked, reached over, and kissed me gently on the forehead. “I have to work late tonight, but tomorrow I get off early and we could have some alone time.”
I forced a smile. “I should go home and do some laundry… and my share of the housework.”
William laughed.
“Can we just skip work? Pretend we’re sick or something?” I reached over and pulled the shirt I wore yesterday over my head. It was wishful thinking, but the reality was that the bills wouldn’t pay themselves.
Leaving The Pieces Behind Page 13