by Kane, M. J.
She waited until Zack and Nick disappeared. “Thank you for this,” she waved a hand indicating the garden where we’d gotten married, contentment shown on her face. “I know this isn’t the wedding you wanted, but—”
I reached out for her hand. “No, it’s exactly what I wanted. This isn’t about me…Mom…You needed this as much as we did. You taught me how precious time is. Waiting six months to marry the man of my dreams was not going to change a thing. We have each other now. You’ve had the chance to see him happy…,” my voice faltered. “He’ll be able to remember that you were here to see him married.”
She patted my hand. “You are truly a blessing to the small family. I wish I could stick around long enough to see my grandkids. I’m sure they are going to be beautiful.”
Unable to speak, I leaned down to give her a hug.
“Alright, that’s enough. There’s a handsome young man waiting for you inside. Do me a favor and ask Nick to come back for me in a few minutes. Go be with your husband.”
I studied her face. “Are you sure?”
She nodded. “Yes, I’ll be fine. I need a minute to compose myself. Don’t want to ruin your day with a crying mother-in-law.” She waved me off.
It took everything in my power to walk away. I glanced over my shoulder before going inside and saw her rest her head in her hands, a piece of crumpled tissue in her fist. I said a silent prayer before notifying Nick to wheel her in.
***
“Zack…this is amazing!”
He set me down on my feet, then shut the door behind us. I walked ahead to take in the view of our honeymoon suite. One wall was nothing but floor to ceiling windows open to the Las Vegas strip. It was nearly midnight and the lights of the city illuminated the room without a need to find a lamp.
“Do you like it?” Zack stepped behind me and slipped his arms around my waist.
I angled my head to see him. “Do I like it? Are you kidding me?”
He smiled and looked over my shoulder. “Man, the pictures online didn’t do this place justice.”
We linked fingers and took a tour of the suite. The living room was huge. A flat screen T.V. claimed one wall and a large sofa with oversized pillows and an ottoman built for two sat in the middle of the room. The thing was so huge it reminded me of a small bed. A bar was across the room and appeared to be well stocked.
The bedroom was a dream. A king size bed sat in the middle with bedposts that nearly touched the ceiling. A gift basket was on the nightstand.
“Now that’s what I’m talking about.”
I followed his gaze, and laughed. “Oh, wow,”
A mirrored ceiling hung above the bed while mirrors decorated the closet doors. I could imagine what Zack was thinking. I was right there with him.
The bathroom was huge. Double sinks and a glass shower were there, but the main focus was a deep-jetted tub built for two. Candles lined the counter and sides of the tub. Talk about setting the mood.
When I entered the bedroom, Zack had sat on the mattress with the basket beside him as he examined the contents. “Wine, glasses, chocolate covered strawberries....a certificate to the spa for his and her massages. And…,” he held up a box. “Condoms.” He wagged his eyebrows.
Smiling, I walked over to where he sat and removed the basket from the bed. I kicked off my shoes and began to strip. “How long has it been since we made love?”
“Three days, twelve hours, and,” he glanced at his watch, “ten minutes.” He kicked off his shoes and tugged his shirt over his head.
We were naked in record time.
I straddled his lap. “Mr. Givens, I think it’s time we remedy that.”
“Why Mrs. Givens, I agree.” He gripped my hips and rolled me onto my back.
“I love the way that sounds.” I sighed as he kissed his way down my body.
“I’ll never get tired of saying it,” he murmured against my skin, then reached for the condom box.
I clasped his hand.
“What?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed.
I studied his face. “We’ve waited too long to get what we’ve wanted out of life. Both of us want to have a family. Why wait?”
Zack studied me, surprise written on his face. “You want to have a baby? Now?”
Ever since talking to Ms. Belinda, I’d been giving my life goals a lot of thought. I was twenty-eight and Zack was thirty-two. We both had good jobs and were in good health. There were no outstanding goals for us to reach or reasons to put off starting a family.
I slid a finger along his jaw. “I want to have your baby…our baby. Life is too short, Zack. If you’re ready, I want this. If you want to wait then I’ll understand.”
“Aren’t you on birth control?”
I bit my lip. “I stopped taking it after we got engaged. I’ve wanted to talk to you about this but we never had time…we were both so busy, with me working and planning the wedding and you coming home late…”
Zack cupped my face in his hands. “Yasmine…,” he stared into my eyes, and I felt my insides melt. “Yes, let’s make a baby.”
The next kiss he gave me was long and slow.
I put my arms around his neck and ran my fingers across his head and along his back. The urgency we’d started with slowed. This wasn’t going to be about our physical needs. This was sex with a purpose. To tease, to satisfy, and if all went well, return home with a memory to last a lifetime.
###
The next few days were nothing but wedded bliss. Every opportunity was spent making love in every part of the suite we could. When we weren’t wrapped around each other, we talked, ordered room service, watched movies on TV, and slept. The third day found us leaving the hotel for the first time. Sore from all the gymnastics we’d performed, we took advantage of the massages. That night we got dressed and explored the hotel before visiting the Vegas strip.
We took pictures at the landmarks and even made it to see Cirque De Soleil. I now understood why Zack worked so hard to save for this trip. No matter what happened in our future, I would never forget our time spent together for the first time as husband and wife.
“What are you thinking?” Zack asked. We lay in bed, naked, my head resting on his chest, our limbs twisted together after another session of lovemaking. His fingers slipped across my shoulder in lazy strokes.
“I was wondering where I’d be if my computer hadn’t crashed the first time. We never would have met. When I needed new computers I wouldn’t have asked for you.”
I stared at the reflection of our naked bodies above us. The light from the windows illuminated the room enough to see his reflection. Our room was so high above the strip that we left the blinds open to enjoy the view.
“I’ve wondered the same thing.” He rolled over to his side and faced me. “I’ve never been happier in my life. This…,” he waved a hand between us, “was meant to happen. The two of us opposites…both needing the same thing, but no longer searching for it.” He laughed. “I’m thankful my mother pushed me to tell you how I felt. If left to my own devices, I’d probably be sitting home alone playing with my iPad waiting for the next Friday night.”
I laughed. “Me? I’d be depressed and counting the days left to becoming godmother to Kaitlyn’s baby.” I scrunched my eyebrows. “We owe your mother a lot. How did she get to be so smart?”
Zack chuckled. “Old age?”
“Hey, she’s not that old.”
Zack settled back on the bed and smiled. “Come here,” he held out his arm to me.
“Hold that thought.” I climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom. After using the toilet and washing my hands, I studied myself in the mirror.
For the first time I felt truly beautiful, even with my hair a mess and light red marks on my neck from my husband’s love bites.
He loved me, and I loved him.
I studied my slender profile in the mirror, focusing on my flat stomach. If everything went according to plan, in a few months there would be a new
life growing inside. A part of me, a part of Zack. A part of his mother.
I closed my eyes and prayed things would work out so she would know there was a grandchild on the way before she passed.
“What’s taking so long? Do you need help?” Zack called out.
“Very funny. Besides we already christened the bathtub.” And the shower.
“Yeah, but we haven’t done it on the bathroom counter.”
I smiled. Hopefully, we’d still feel the same way about each other years from now.
The sheets shifted on the bed, indicating Zack’s intent to join me. His cell phone rang. That was odd. It was well past midnight. We’d checked in with our families to let them know our plane landed in Vegas, and no one had contacted us since. Curious, I stuck my head out of the bathroom door.
Zack sat on the bed, an expression of horror on his face. “How long?” he asked as he jumped off the bed and began searching for his clothes.
I rushed out of the bathroom. “Zack, baby, what’s wrong?”
“It’s my mom…she’s in the hospital….” He found his jeans and stuffed his legs in. “Yes…yes…oh God. We’re on the way. Contact me at this number if anything changes.”
“What’s wrong?”
“That was my mother’s doctor. She’s in ICU. He didn’t give the details, but he says we need to be there now. Yasmine…,” Zack stopped after cramming his feet in shoes and stared around the room as if lost.
I directed him to sit on the bed. He looked as if he were about to pass out. My heart raced. “Did he say why she was there? Did she fall again?” I gathered my strewn clothes from the floor and dressed quickly.
He didn’t answer right away, and stared blankly at the wall.
“Zack?”
An expression of bewilderment darkened his features. “He said she’s dying.”
Oh no. My heart fell to the floor. It was too soon.
Tears sprung to my eyes. I grabbed hold of him and held on.
“She’s dying…,” he repeated. “How? Why?”
I had never seen so much pain etched onto his face.
This is what Ms. Belinda prepared me for. This moment, right now.
Taking charge, I gathered the remainder of our things and threw them in the suitcases. I notified the hotel front desk and, informed them of the circumstances, and made arrangements to rent a car to drive home. We were a few hours away. It would be easier to drive than switch airline tickets at this time of night.
An hour later Zack was behind the wheel holding my hand and we were on the road. I prayed time would be on our side.
Chapter 34
The sun was on the horizon by the time we arrived at the hospital. Zach had driven like a mad man for several hours straight. It’s a wonder we weren’t stopped by the police.
We parked and ran into the hospital. I’d called every thirty minutes to check on Ms. Belinda’s status; her condition stayed the same, no improvements. According to her doctor, her heart still beat, her lungs continued to need air, but her liver and kidneys were failing. It was a matter of time.
Zack berated himself the entire ride for not seeing the signs. He blamed himself for not forcing the doctor to give him the details of his mother’s health after her fall. He cursed for not knowing this was going to happen.
Guilt plagued me. Keeping my mouth shut during the ride was nearly impossible. So many times I wanted to tell him it wasn’t the doctor’s fault he was unaware of her condition, that it was her wish he be kept in the dark. But what would it solve? The end result would still be the same.
She was dying. That was that.
But why so soon? According to the time table she’d spoken of, she should have a few more weeks. My goal had been to return from our honeymoon and hopefully tell her a grandchild had been conceived. I wanted us to spend time with her before she died.
Instead, the last time we’d seen her was four days ago at our wedding.
“I’m looking for my mother. Her name is Belinda Givens. Her doctor told us to get here as soon as possible,” Zack informed a nurse at the ICU nurses’ station.
She reviewed her computer records then hit the buzzer to let us through the doors. She met us on the other side and guided us to the correct room.
Zack squeezed my hand tightly; I squeezed back in reassurance.
We arrived at a room lined with observation windows. The blinds were open and there laid Ms. Belinda. She appeared smaller than she was the day we left. Tubes were sticking in her arms and nose. Machines measuring the rate of her heart and breathing beeped and wailed in the background making the already ominous moment worse.
A countdown to death.
I closed my eyes while Zack groaned.
I squeezed his hand. “Is she awake?” I asked the nurse.
“She’s been in and out of sleep for the last few hours. She’s on a lot of pain medication but honestly, I don’t think it’s working. Go in and try to speak to her. If she can hear you, she’ll reply.”
Zack lead the way into the room. He let go of my hand and reached for his mother’s. I walked around to the other side of the bed.
“Mom…can you hear me? It’s Zack. Yasmine and I came to…,” his voice faltered as it thickened.
I clasped her free hand. “Mom?”
Nothing.
I studied the monitors and saw her heart rate was irregular, so was her breathing. Neither was a good sign.
Zack rested his head on his mother’s hand. I watched his body tremble as he cried silently. Unable to hide my emotions, I let my own tears flow and reached over to run a hand over his head. He reached out for me and held tight.
I had no idea how long we stayed that way, but eventually Ms. Belinda’s hands tightened on ours. Zack and I glanced at each other before turning in time so see her eyes flutter.
“Mom? It’s Zack…can you hear me?”
Her head shifted ever so slightly.
“We’re here. I’m here. How…how…,” he stopped as tears fell.
I squeezed his hand again. “We’re here for you, Mom.”
Her eyes opened slowly. She gazed at Zack, a tear slipped down her cheek. “My…son…”
“I’m here, Mom…”
More tears came from my eyes. Watching the pain and anguish on his face broke my heart.
Ms. Belinda released my hand and with what must have been a huge effort, reached for his face. When it was obvious she didn’t have the strength to lift her arm, Zack reached for her hand, placed it on his cheek, and held it in place.
“I am so proud of you…I love you so much. You have become the man your father wished you to be.” Ms. Belinda’s voice was frail as she spoke with great effort. “When your father died, I promised him at his grave I would make sure you took after him…in every way I could teach you. I can go to him now and know…I did just that.”
“Mom…please…why is this happening? You were supposed to be better. Where did I fail you?”
“Baby…you didn’t fail me. This body failed me. There was nothing you or I could do.”
“But…but… what am I supposed to do without you?”
“Zachariah…you have everything you need… You married the woman meant for you.” Her gaze slowly left his as she turned to me. She dragged her hand from his face and reached for mine.
Without a word I knew all of the things she wanted to say but couldn’t in front of Zack. “Hi, Mom. We made it back.” I sniffed.
She closed her eyes and squeezed my hand as hard as she could. Tears fell from her eyes. “I’m so glad he found you. You two will be happy, I can feel it. I give both of you my blessing, on this marriage…on your future…on your family…” She grimaced as a severe pain struck her. “Love each other…no matter what happens…always love each other. Take nothing for granted…”
The heart monitor began to beep. I glanced at the number on the monitor that recorded her blood pressure as it dropped. I squeezed her hand. “Mom…oh no…”
“Mom!
Stay with me, please, don’t go! Mom!”
The oxygen alarm and heart monitor alarms went off simultaneously. Ms. Belinda’s body seized as she struggled to take in air. Then as suddenly, she exhaled, long and slow. Her grip on our hands went weak as her fingers slipped free. Her body went still, no longer breathing.
A nurse came into the room and shut off the monitors, drowning the room in perpetual silence.
I walked around the bed to where Zack stood, rooted, clinging to his mother’s hand, and crying. I wrapped my arms around him and guided him away from the bed. More nurses and her doctor entered. They checked for vitals and marked the time of death.
Zack’s knees went weak and we both sank into the chairs in the room. His eyes stayed focused on the bed as a nurse began removing tubes and needles from her arms. “She’s gone, Yasmine. My mother is gone.”
I held on tight and tried to absorb his pain.
This wasn’t fair. Ms. Belinda was too good of a woman to be gone so soon. She had so much left to offer this world. So much love left to give to her family. Zack needed her. I needed her. The life that could be growing in my belly needed her.
The only thing I could do was remain strong for my husband. I promised my mother-in-law I would keep him from letting go of life. That’s exactly what I was going to do.
“I’m an orphan, Yasmine. I have no one left.” He dropped his head into his hands.
I kissed his cheek. “That’s not true, baby. You have me.”
Zack blinked back tears as realization dawned on him. “Yeah, I have you.” He leaned over, pulled me into his arms, and sobbed.
Chapter 35
Two weeks.
I’d been married for two weeks.
My mother had been dead for two weeks.
Two would never be my favorite number.
I sat on the sofa in the living room and stared out the large window; seeing nothing, lost in thought, lost in time. What was the last thing I said to my mother before leaving for our honeymoon? For the life of me I couldn’t remember.
I had told her I loved her, and I’m sure I had told her how beautiful she’d been. But what else? Was there any statement that would have given her any idea of exactly how much I appreciated her?