by M. Clarke
“What are we having for dinner, Lexy?” Cameron asked, placing the ice chest down beside her.
“Chicken,” Lexy replied, setting the containers on the wooden picnic bench. She tapped on one in front of her. “I made salad this morning.” Lexy reached into another bag and pulled out something. “I have bread. Gourmet dinner coming up.” She twitched her brows.
“Sounds delicious, Lexy,” Cameron muttered. “What can I help you with?”
Lexy handed him the tongs. “You can cook. You’re grilling the chicken.”
“Sure. I can do that.” Cameron got the grill started.
After Elijah and I went to the three tents to make sure they were sturdy, we took a little adventure around the vicinity to gather branches for the fire pit. It took us about twenty minutes, but we had gathered two night’s worth. Dropping some into the pit, Elijah lit it with a match.
I looked around to make sure Alex wasn’t near us. “Hey, you’re not smoking, are you?” I whispered.
Elijah glanced at the match in his hand. “No, no, no.” He shook his head. “I stopped cold turkey. But I feel like one right now, since you mentioned it. Thanks.” Elijah glared at me with gritted teeth, but in a playful way.
“Sorry.” I punched his arm.
“What was that for?” He looked surprised.
I gave him a smirk. “You can divert your attention to the pain I caused.”
“Seth—!” Elijah’s words came out heated and his eyes were full of mischief. “You want to get thrown into the lake?”
I took several steps back. “Alex! Help me!”
Elijah charged at me and wrapped his arm around me in a headlock.
“Elijah.” I heard Alex’s voice, then a giggle. “Let him go. What are you boys up to? Dinner is ready. Elijah!”
Elijah ruffled my hair and let me go. His eyes set on mine. “It’s not over,” he chuckled.
I felt my blood settle back down and walked behind Elijah and Alex. Seeing them hold hands was a sweet sight. After we filled our paper plates with food, we sat around the fire pit.
Lexy passed out flashlights. “It’s getting dark. We’re going to need these.”
“Thanks,” I said, placing it down beside me.
Elijah reached into the cooler and passed everyone a beer. Holding up the bottle, he said, “To Seth’s dad, thank you for taking us camping. We will hold on to these fond memories that we will cherish forever, and pass these experiences on and share them with our children. Thank you for being there for us. We miss you.”
That was such a heartfelt speech, and a part of me almost lost it, but I kept the tears at bay, especially since Josie was sitting next to me, especially when she was looking at me sympathetically. I refused to look at her, even when she placed her hand on my shoulder. I knew if I looked at her, I wouldn’t be able to control myself. The pain was too deep, and the only thing I could do was bury it—just like I buried the hurt when she never came back.
The clinking of the bottles broke me out of my thoughts. Then everything was back to normal.
“You did a great job marinating the chicken, Lexy,” Jonathan praised her, taking another bite. “It tastes just as good as Seth’s dad’s.”
“Well….” Lexy shrugged. “Seth’s dad gave me the recipe. I wanted to make it in his honor.”
“You went camping with the guys before?” Alex asked, looking astounded. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”
“Just a couple of times. It’s fun when you go with a large crowd. Jimmy, your cousin, went with us a couple of times too. Did he mention it to you?”
“No. If he didn’t mention that Ellie was a guy, he wasn’t going to share his story about camping.” Alex snorted.
“That’s so true,” Elijah added. “But I’m glad he didn’t tell you. You wouldn’t have wanted to be my roommate. Maybe we wouldn’t be together.” Elijah leaned closer and kissed Alex on her forehead.
“I don’t believe that,” Alex rebutted. “If we were meant to be, then we would’ve gotten together somehow. It might not have been the same way, but we would have. Fate has a way of bringing two people together in the least expected way. At first glance, no one would have believed we would become a couple, especially since we were opposites.”
“You’re right, baby,” Elijah agreed, taking a sip of his beer. “I couldn’t stay away from you, no matter how hard I tried. We would have found a way to each other’s arms, one way or another.”
Josie turned to Lexy and grabbed a roll. “That’s so sweet.”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t easy.” I swallowed a mouthful of chicken. “Being on the outside, watching them go through some rough times was torture.”
“I agree.” Lexy raised her voice. “It was like watching the most epic love story as we waited with bated breath, wondering what the outcome would be.”
“Even my dad was rooting for the both of you,” I said somberly. It felt so strange to talk about my dad. For a split second there, it felt as though he was still with us, but as soon as the words left my mouth, a reminder of his death seeped in.
The awkward silence died when Elijah spoke, “Do you remember when your dad—“ He let out a snort. “When he—” Elijah blurted out laughing. “When he—” Elijah couldn’t stop laughing. He folded his arms to his stomach as if to hold himself together. Then everyone joined in the contagious laugh.
“Oh my God, Elijah. Just spit it out, will ya?” Lexy curled over, laughing so hard that she bumped into Josie.
The momentum caused Josie to throw herself at me. I caught her before she could slide off my body. My arms embracing her tightly caused all sorts of emotion to spark alive. Tingling sensations zapped through me, and the feeling of warmth, comfort, and memories of sixth grade came crashing through. Josie looked up, meeting my eyes. We stared at each other, longer than expected. For a moment, she was mine, and I was hers. For a moment, we were two people connecting, sharing, and yearning—maybe more on my side than hers. There was a hint of longing from her, or maybe that was just my imagination. I didn’t know. Then it disappeared. Josie broke away, sitting up.
“I remember that,” Jonathan said, chuckling.
“I wasn’t there. I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Cameron commented.
What were they talking about? Had I been so engrossed with Josie that I didn’t hear a word Elijah had said?
“We had a blast,” Elijah finished.
I let out a fake laugh, dying to know what he’d said and pretending to be on top of this conversation even though I had no clue.
“Sorry. But I didn’t hear what Elijah said. Could you please repeat that?” Josie asked sheepishly.
Knowing Josie was lost like I was made me smile secretly, and I was so glad she’d asked that question.
“Oh.” Alex rubbed her eyes, trying to stop the lingering laugh. Her arm rested on Elijah’s leg. “Elijah said that Mr. Stewart wanted to play a drinking game. He thought he could outdrink everyone. Turned out he couldn’t. When it was time to put out the campfire”—Alex pursed her lips and then gave us a huge smile—“Seth’s dad urinated on the fire to put it out.”
I shook my head, grinning from the memory. “It was a good thing Lexy wasn’t there. She would have been grossed out.”
Elijah jumped into the conversation. “We turned away laughing, to avoid seeing—his junk. Anyway, Seth grabbed his dad from the back. Turns out Mr. Stewart had quite a large bladder. We had to wait until he was done.”
I ran my hand down my face with embarrassment. “My dad had no idea what had happened, so we pretended it never happened too. Just to save him from the humiliation. From that day on, we never played a drinking game again, at least not when my dad was around.” I turned to Josie. “Besides that one incident, my dad was a good man.” I wanted to make sure Josie had a good impression of my dad. After all, I was sure her dad was a role model for her.
Josie’s brown eyes glistened against the fire, sometimes making them look fiery red. �
��I believe you, Seth, because I’m pretty sure you’re a lot like your dad.”
I wasn’t sure if it was the dreamy stare that I got from Josie, or her words that surprised me, I became lost in her eyes. I don’t know how long we were frozen like that, but when I finally managed to break away from Josie, our friends had gotten up with flashlights in their hands.
“Well, time for bed. Good night you two,” Alex said, being whisked away by Elijah. He effortlessly lifted her up and carried her to their tent. Show off!
“I’m going to the tent first, Josie,” Lexy said. “Take your time. I’ll get your sleeping bag ready for you. You know which one is our tent, right?” Lexy pointed to her left with the flashlight, to the tent by the tree.
“I helped you pitch it. I better remember,” Josie said. “I’ll be there soon.”
“Good night,” Jonathan and Cameron said in unison.
Jonathan stopped walking and looked over his shoulder. “Seth, we’ll lay out your sleeping bag in the middle. And just a reminder, since you’ll be the last one leaving, you’ll have to put out the fire.”
“I will, don’t worry.” I waved them away. We were having so much fun talking about the past and eating that I hadn’t realized the night had crept in.
“Looks like just you and me,” I said to Josie, seeing her slightly shivering. “Are you cold?” There was a soft breeze, but I didn’t know if she was the type to get cold easily. After all, I had more meat on my body.
“No,” she replied with a wicked smirk. “Do you remember how we used to lie on the picnic table and talk?”
“Yes.” How could I forget? It was our thing. Everyone knew that bench was Josie and Seth’s table.
Josie stood up and dusted the dirt off her pants. Pointing, she said, “There’s a table right there.”
CHAPTER 12
Seth
Two lights moved side by side in the dark as Josie and I headed to the picnic table. It was close to the campfire, yet far enough that we needed to use the flashlights. The warm summer breeze lightly tousled Josie’s hair, tickling my face. I breathed in her scent from the wind; she smelled like roses. I recalled roses being her favorite flower.
“Which side?” Josie asked.
“You take this side, and I’ll go on the other side.” While Josie lay on top and spread her body across, she gave me enough space to lie next to her. Our faces met halfway, eye-to-eye, with our bodies lying in opposite directions.
“My legs are dangling,” Josie giggled.
“We’re both taller now. Well—one of us grew a lot taller,” I teased.
“I’m glad you are. I wouldn’t want a short boyfriend. I mean—” Josie shirked off what was an obvious wrong choice of words that had slipped out. “It’s good that you’re taller.” She shifted her gaze to the sky. “It’s beautiful. Look at all the stars.” She extended her arm.
“They feel so close, yet so far.” I reached out like she had done. Countless stars graced us tonight. It was one of the things I loved about camping. There was so much peace here, no hustle or bustle. I’d always felt like I was in another world when camping.
Josie placed her arm back down. “I wish I could touch them and hold them in my hands.”
I folded my arms down over my chest, and then turned to look at her to answer. Our eyes locked. “Me too.”
“I’m sorry about your dad, Seth.”
“Thanks.” I shrugged. “It’s life. It sucks to lose anyone you love, but there’s nothing we can do about it.” I exhaled a long deep breath. “He died from a heart attack. He didn’t take care of his body, Josie. He refused to see a doctor. He never exercised. He just didn’t listen. I should’ve forced him to see a doctor. I should’ve done what I could to make him care about his health. It wasn’t like he didn’t take care of himself so he could die any faster. It was from working long hours and taking care of the family. He had three kids to put through college. Because of his pride, he wouldn’t let us take out loans. He said every generation should be able to give more to their children than the generation before. His father couldn’t afford to pay for his college, the reason he felt he had to. How about your parents? Are they well?”
Josie looked away, and then met my eyes again. “They’re fine.”
“Are they nearby?”
“No. I haven’t spoken to them in a while.”
I didn’t want to be nosey, but I asked anyway out of concern, “Everything okay with your folks?”
Josie didn’t answer, making me think that something was up. I would make a mental note to ask her later. She changed the subject instead. “Do you remember the first time we lay like this at school?” She wore a huge smile on her face.
“How could I not?” I frowned a little. “My friends made fun of me. They said I was Josie-whipped.”
Josie started to stomp her feet on the table, like she was playing the drums. “Oh my God. Then your friends jumped on the table. Do you remember?”
“I sure do. It was terrible,” I grumbled.
“But it was fun. You have to admit that.”
“We almost broke the table,” I added.
“But, we didn’t.” Her pitch rose with excitement. Josie ran her finger over my eyebrows. I closed my eyes, liking the way it was making me relax. “That year was the best time of my school days. I loved coming to school because of you, Seth. Now, we’re adults. Things have changed.”
“I haven’t changed much.” I shuddered when her finger feather lightly traced my lips. “Actually, I think at one point in my life, I tried to be someone else, but it didn’t work out, so I went back to my own skin. What I’m comfortable with.”
“Good for you. But sometimes life molds you into becoming someone you don’t want to be. I’m not the same girl you met in sixth grade.”
I wasn’t sure if I was reading too much into our conversation. Was she trying to tell me something? Before I could ask her what she meant, she asked me a question.
“Seth, do you have a girlfriend?”
“No,” I answered quickly. “I wouldn’t be here with you if I had one. I mean, not that we’re trying to hook up.” My words were coming out wrong. “I mean—”
“I know what you meant.” Josie chuckled lightly. “Relax, Seth. I was just asking. I’m sure you’ve had many girlfriends after me. So how many lucky ladies got kissed by you?”
I became shy all of a sudden, feeling my cheeks get warmer. “Not that many. I can count them on one hand. I don’t just date anyone. I’m not the type of guy to do one- night stands. I actually tried to be that guy once upon a time”—I snorted and shook my head—“but it wasn’t for me.”
Josie ruffled my hair, making me cringe. “No, you’re not, Seth. I think that the girl who is lucky enough to capture your heart will be the luckiest girl in the universe.”
“That’s huge, Josie. Maybe not the whole universe. Maybe just the planet.”
“You’re not like the other guys who think they’re so tough or badass. You’re honest, sweet, and humble. You’re still the same Seth I remember, the one I fell in love with.”
Her words made my stomach flutter, and burning sensations coursed through me when she rubbed her finger along the stubbles on my chin. It was the perfect romantic opportunity to kiss her, but I couldn’t do it. Afraid of rejection, afraid of getting hurt, and still in pain from my dad’s death, I lost the courage.
“We better get some sleep, Josie. I don’t know what time it is, but we should get going.” I sat up first and my head started to spin. Placing my hand on my head as if I could stop the motion, I stood there frozen for a bit.
“Seth, you okay?”
“I’m fine. I got up too fast.” I slid off the table and offered my hand to Josie. From the momentum of pulling her and Josie jumping off, her body collided into my chest, almost knocking us over.
“Thanks, Seth,” she whispered, draping her arms around my neck to steady herself.
“Uh….” was all I could mutter.
Her body pressed against mine felt so good, so perfect. I wanted to hold on to this moment a little bit longer and pretend we were back in sixth grade. My hands had a mind of their own, sliding down to the curves of her hips. I stuck my fingers through the belt loops of her jeans and pressed her tighter to me. I loved the way our bodies were molded together, feeling the swell of her breasts on my chest.
When I heard a gasp from her and felt her warm breath against my neck, I figured she wanted me to kiss her. Be a man and kiss her, I told myself, but I couldn’t move, even though she looked at me with yearning in her eyes.
“Josie,” I managed to say. “I’m glad you’re back in my life. I’ve thought about you since sixth grade. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over you leaving me like that.”
Josie’s eyes were glassy against the twinkling stars. “I’m sorry, Seth. I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to leave you. Everywhere I went, I thought of you. I held on to our memories, and I played them in my mind whenever I was sad. You were the only thing that kept me going. I still can’t believe you’re here.”
When Josie closed her eyes, tears streamed down her face. I had missed her a great deal, and I couldn’t believe she was hurting like this. There was something more to what she was telling me.
“Josie, is there something you’re not telling me?”
Josie looked to her feet, then back at me. Her arms got tighter around me. “One day, I’ll be brave and tell you everything, but not today. I just want to enjoy this time with you.”
“You know I’m here for you, right? I won’t judge; I promise.”
“I know but not today.”
Before I could say anything, Josie spoke again, “Do you remember our first kiss?”
I arched my brows. “Josie, it was our first and our last kiss. You never came back. And if I recall correctly, you kissed me. I never really got to kiss you back. I think I was in shock and embarrassed.”
She giggled. “That’s true. Well, one of us had to make the first move. And I knew it wasn’t going to be you, ‘cause you were such a gentleman. One of the qualities I loved about you. Are you still that gentleman?”