It worked. Quentin tipped over the edge with a groan before collapsing on top of me. He rested his cheek against my breasts while his dick stayed buried inside me and I couldn’t help but enjoy the prolonged feeling. We laid there for a long time like that before finally, Quentin pulled out with a groan and rolled onto the other side of the bed. Exhausted and pleasantly satisfied, I pulled the rest of my clothes off before climbing back in the bed and succumbing to sleep.
The next morning, I woke up feeling happy and well-rested. As my eyes blinked open, I realized I wasn’t within the familiar surroundings of my home. I panicked for a moment before the memories of the night before came rushing back. I was still a little nervous about what had happened, but I tried my best to stay calm. After all, I couldn’t change anything now anyway.
I glanced over at Quentin who was still fast asleep. The sun had barely risen above the horizon. I slipped out from under the covers as quietly as I could before I began to redress. I didn’t want Lincoln to come in and see the two of us like this, not when neither of us could explain it. Besides, he was a wonderful boy and I didn’t want to see him getting confused.
With narrowed eyes, I looked around the room until I found a notepad and a pen. I quickly wrote out a note and placed it on the nightstand before looking over at Quentin one last time. He looked so peaceful and adorable as he slept. His cold demeanor was gone and replaced with one that I could grow to love. I shook off that devilish thought, but I couldn’t resist pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead before I finally snuck out the door and returned home.
18
Quentin
Sunlight pierced the blinds of my bedroom window and shone over my eyes. I blinked awake feeling a little groggy and confused for a moment before a pleasant ache settled in my chest. My mind filled with thoughts of Billie. I could still smell her perfume on my bed sheets and I smiled. But when I turned over, I realized that I was alone.
It hurt to see that Billie hadn’t hung around, but I wasn’t surprised. No one else had cared much for me once they’d gotten what they wanted. That was the way it had been with all the other women in my life before her, why would she be any different?
I sighed and rubbed my weary eyes, attempting to rouse myself from the daydreams of Billie’s luscious lips and curvy body. Even thinking about it now made me groan and want more of her. I was a fool. How could I still want her after she abandoned me? Was I a glutton for punishment?
As I was busy chastising myself internally, I missed the squeak of the door frame as it pushed open and I felt a presence on the bed beside me. Excited, I glanced up to see my son had entered with a huge smile on his face.
“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! It’s morning time!” he told me.
I chuckled. If anything could cheer me up on a morning like that, it was Lincoln. “I know, buddy. The sun’s up, isn’t it?”
Lincoln nodded. “Yes, so I want to play with my new toys! Please!”
“Okay, okay, go play with them then,” I ordered. “I’ll be out once I’ve had a shower and gotten dressed.”
Lincoln pouted. “But… But… Dad, I need help. It’s hard! Billie helped me, but now she’s gone!” he complained.
You don’t have to tell me, I thought. I already know. With a sigh, I rubbed a hand over my face and nodded. “Okay, I’ll be right out. Just let me get dressed, okay?”
“Woo!” Lincoln cheered before standing up on the bed and wrapping his arms tight around me. “You’re the best Daddy in the world!” he cried before planting two wet kisses on my cheek.
I laughed. “I know, I know. Now go into the living room and wait for me, okay?”
Lincoln nodded again before running out of the door where he came. Now that he was gone and I was left alone with my thoughts again, a sourness overwhelmed me. With a heavy heart, I stood up and began throwing on some old lounge pants and a baggy t-shirt to wear around the house. As I was pulling the shirt on, I caught sight of the open notepad on the nightstand opposite me.
My heart began pounding in my chest. A note? From Billie? For a long moment, I just stood there gaping at the paper. It was as though I didn’t quite believe my eyes, though it did automatically make me feel better about the whole situation. Billie hadn’t left without thinking about me. No, she’d cared enough to leave a note. That was something at least.
When I finally summoned the courage to look at what she’d written, my heart skipped a beat. ‘Call me when you wake up. I think we should talk.’ It wasn’t exactly promising, but it told me she cared about what happened. At least, enough to want to clear the air or iron things out. Whichever it was, I was looking forward to speaking to her again.
The morning passed quickly as Lincoln energetically set about playing with his new toys courtesy of Billie. He favored the science kits she’d bought him over practically everything else, even the toys I’d bought him, and it made me feel a little jealous. Eventually, however, the little boy tired himself out and decided to rest on the couch for a little while. I put Bill Nye on his tablet for him before slipping into the bedroom for some privacy.
I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts until I found Billie’s number. I had it saved from work, but I’d never actually needed to use it before. Now, it all felt entirely sordid, but I didn’t care. I wanted to speak to her and hear what she thought about everything.
With a gulp, I swallowed my anxieties and tapped the green ‘call’ button. It only rang three times before Billie picked up. “Hey, boss man,” she answered sleepily. “It’s about time you called me. Have you been sleeping all this time?”
I chuckled. “No. In case you’ve forgotten already, I have a rather boisterous five-year-old who demands a lot of attention.”
“Ahh, that’s right. I seem to recall someone of that description in your household,” she teased back.
“You, on the other hand, sound half-asleep,” I commented. “I didn’t disturb you, did I? I can call back later.”
“No, no, it’s okay,” Billie rushed to say and I could hear rustling on the other end of the phone as she moved around. “I’m okay to talk now.”
Silence followed as I struggled to know what exactly to say. My heart was telling me to ask her to move in with me while my brain told me to nip it in the bud. Yet, somehow, I couldn’t bear the thought of telling her that it was just a one time thing. I just couldn’t.
“Okay, I guess I’ll start,” Billie said after a moment. “Look, Quentin, last night was great and I like you a lot, but I’m not sure this whole thing is a good idea. I really don’t want to get a reputation for being the girl who screwed her boss, especially since I only just moved to this town. I want to make a life here and I don’t want to do anything that would mess things up.”
I nodded though a lump was beginning to form in my throat. It was for the best, I knew it, but I didn’t feel it. “I understand, Billie,” I said in a choked voice.
“Besides, it wouldn’t be any good for Linc to get attached to me in case things didn’t work out. I couldn’t do that to the little guy,” she continued.
I couldn’t resist. I laughed. It was insane that she was talking that way since it was clear to me how attached Lincoln already was to her. I wasn’t sure he could possibly get even more attached, but I didn’t tell her that. I didn’t want to make her feel any worse than she already did.
“Okay, sure,” I ended up saying with as much confidence as I could fake. “It was just a one-time thing then.”
“I’m glad we’re in agreement, Quentin. I’ll see you on Monday?”
“See you Monday, Billie.” I listened to her hang up the phone before I slumped down onto my bed with a frown. It was the best thing to do given the complicated circumstances – the bad definitely outweighed the good here – but that didn’t mean I had to be happy about it.
I returned to Lincoln’s side to find him asleep with the tablet laying forgotten in his lap. It was such a cute sight that it almost erased the awful feeling deep inside
me from Billie’s phone call—almost. The call had been like a punch in the gut and it just reminded me once more that I wasn’t destined for a lifetime of love like my parents and my grandparents had. Love wasn’t in the cards for me, it seemed, and as I sat down next to my wonderful child, I wondered what was so wrong with me that no woman ever wanted to stay.
19
Billie
Overwhelmed by regret, I ended up spending the majority of my weekend moping in bed. By Sunday afternoon, I was so angry with myself for doing the one thing I’d always promised myself that I would never do. I glanced over at the picture of my mom and me that I kept on my nightstand and groaned. Lucky stirred beside me and nosed at my hand, looking for attention. I smiled down at my beautiful dog and pet her head before scratching behind her scruffy ears.
“Oh, Lucky, what have I gotten myself into?” I asked my dog rhetorically before sighing once more and falling back onto the bed.
I told myself that it didn’t matter if he was my boss. That wasn’t why I was attracted to him. It was because he was a nice, generous guy with an amazing son. It was because he hadn’t once made me feel bad about my curves or the fact that I’m overweight. Him being my boss had nothing to do with my attraction and I couldn’t help but wish that he had been anyone else in my life instead.
Tomorrow, I’d have to face the consequences of my actions and I wasn’t sure I could face it unless I talked the whole thing out with someone. But who? I still hadn’t mentioned anything about Quentin to Tracy, plus, she was practically a coworker. I wasn’t sure I wanted to risk the word getting out about us. If I couldn’t speak to Tracy then Carla was always an option, but at the same time, I wasn’t sure she was a reliable source of advice. Every time the subject of Quentin had been brought up in the past, Carla had just told me to sleep with him and well, I’d already accomplished that mission.
With a sigh, I reached for my phone and opened my contacts. I knew the one person I could talk to who would understand completely what I was going through, but at the same time, she was the person I wanted to hide this from the most. Before I could chicken out, I bit the bullet and tapped ‘Mom’.
As the phone rang, I bit my lip nervously and twisted my hair around with my finger. Eventually, she answered. “Hey, Billie!”
“Hey, Mom,” I replied weakly.
“It’s so good to hear from you. How have you been?” she said cheerily. I couldn’t summon the same enthusiasm after the miserable day I’d had.
“Not good, Mom,” I told her.
“Oh? Billie, what’s wrong?” she asked and I could hear the concern in her voice.
“I… I…” I began, but the words wouldn’t come.
“You what, honey?” she pushed.
“I did the thing, Mom,” I explained in a thick voice. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t plan for this, it just happened…”
I heard her sigh and I could feel her disappointment through the phone. “Oh, baby girl, didn’t you learn anything from me?”
Tears pricked at my eyes and I had to choke back a sob that was threatening to spill past my lips. I hated that I’d messed up so badly and now my mom was going to know just how weak I was. When I didn’t answer for a few seconds, I heard my mom take a deep breath and speak again.
“Listen, Billie,” she began in an authoritative voice. “You’re a grown woman and you can make your own decisions, but I want you to really think about what you’re getting yourself into, okay? My life has been nothing but difficult because I got myself into a silly situation when I was young, carefree, and in love.”
“I know,” Billie replied. “I’ve heard the story before, Ma.”
“Well, maybe you need to hear it again because clearly it’s not getting through to you,” she replied. “You know that I was forced out of my job and away from my hometown all because I got mixed up with your father – my boss – who didn’t want anything to do with me or you because he already had a family of his own.”
“I know, Mom, but the situation isn’t the same. Maybe this time it’ll be different. First off, I don’t think he’s married—”
Mom gasped. “You don’t think he’s married? Billie, if you’ve gotten involved with that man then you need to find out one way or the other. I don’t want you to end up having to scrape by for eighteen-years to try and provide for your child.”
“I’m not going to get pregnant,” I argued.
“That’s what everyone says right before they get pregnant,” Mom pointed out. “Look, Billie, accidents happen all the time, okay? I just want you to be prepared. I’ve always taught you that messing around with the people you work with – especially those with the power to fire you – is a terrible idea. Please, don’t let yourself fall any deeper into his trap, okay?”
I nodded. “I already told him it was just a one-time thing,” I confessed. “I won’t go near him again.”
“Good. I hope you won’t be so silly again,” she said with a sigh.
“I know, me too, Mom. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, honey. Just be safe, okay?” Mom ordered me.
“I’ll try.”
After I hung up the phone, I realized that I didn’t feel any better. If anything, knowing that I’d disappointed my mom just made my chest feel heavier. I crawled back under my blankets on the bed and cuddled up to Lucky, seeking out her warmth to comfort me.
“What do I do, Lucky?” I asked. “I know it’s bad, but I can’t stop wanting to be near him.” Even now, I was wishing it was Quentin I was snuggled up to and not my dog. Mom asked me not to get involved any deeper, but I was afraid it was already too late.
20
Quentin
By the time Monday morning had arrived, I’d already done my best to squash down any feelings I had for Billie. It was more difficult now that I had the memory of holding her in my arms, of tasting her soft skin, and of inhaling her sweet scent. Difficult, but not impossible.
I followed my morning routine like usual and tried my best not to let my weekend romp with Billie affect me. I’d had a lot of practice. I’d been pushing down my feelings for so many years now that it was any wonder they ever came bubbling up to the surface. Thankfully, neither Lincoln or Mandy seemed to notice anything was different about me.
When I finally turned up at work, I even started believing nothing had changed myself. I strode inside my office and sat down, dumping my briefcase on the floor beside me. A post-it note from Peter was left on my keyboard. ‘Supplier issue taken care of. Hope you had a good weekend. – P’ it read.
The reminder of the weekend only encouraged thoughts of Billie to come racing back to the surface of my mind. I could feel my blood beginning to boil as I sat at my desk. My heart was pounding as I looked at my desk and imagined what Billie would like spread out on it for me, naked and wanting.
“Stop it!” I hissed at myself and shook my head in disgust.
It was bad enough that I’d slept with an employee, but to actually think about it during working hours… What had gotten into me? My pants felt incredibly tight from the strain of my manhood against them and I did my best to slide my chair further under the desk in order to hide my shameful secret. With uncertain hands, I began to type in my password and username for my work computer. By the time I’d finished and taken a few deep breaths, my blood was rushing back north again and I could think a little more clearly.
My schedule for the day was jam-packed and I was grateful for it. I met with our glass supplier who had flown in for an emergency meeting after a batch of the bottles we ordered had arrived out of specification. We were one of their biggest clients and so, they had rushed to correct the issue over the weekend which both Peter and I were grateful for. After that, I attended a meeting with the field supervisors to discuss scheduling for the next quarter.
It was safe to say that by the time lunch rolled around, I was blissfully ignorant of all things Billie. I sat down at my desk with a sigh and began to dig into the lunch I’d bro
ught from home. Unable to switch off, I was still checking my e-mails and my calendar as I worked when something completely derailed me.
I had an e-mail from our external auditing company. It stood out to me right away since we only speak to them when we have one of our bi-annual audits due. Since the message was flagged as ‘High Importance’ I knew it was bad. I clicked on it and read it right away. The news wasn’t good.
“We missed an audit?” I whispered to myself.
It didn’t seem possible. We were always so on top of these things, but then again, the accountant position had just changed hands. I sighed and slumped down in my chair. In order to find out what was going on, I’d need to check our financial audit records. Those records were available on our in-house accounting system and I could look at them myself, but I had so much to do myself, I couldn’t waste time sifting through online files. No, I needed to talk to Billie.
Billie would need to be updated about the situation as soon as possible anyway. It was only a matter of time before I’d need to talk to her about the audit. The longer I put it off, the worse the company would look and that was more important than my personal feelings.
So, I bit the bullet, swallowed my pride, and crossed the building until I reached Billie’s office. As I stood outside, I could feel my whole body begin to resonate with excited energy. I tensed my fingers and curled them into a fist before banging on the office door. It was a little harder than I had intended, but that was just how pent up I was feeling.
There was no answer and I wondered if she had left the building. I wanted to turn back, but I knew that was cowardly. No. It was now or never. I had to face her again. If I could look into her beautiful brown eyes and resist the urge to pounce on her, I knew I could get over her once and for all. I turned the handle and pushed my way inside.
Dear Boss: A Single Dad Office Romance (Forbidden First Times Book 3) Page 11