by Amanda Ashby
“Sounds like it,” Adam said as a flash of pale coppery hair shimmered in the sunlight before disappearing underneath several feet of green leaves. Finally. “Hey, I just remembered I need to make a call. Catch up later?”
“Sure. And don’t forget to come by this week. We can work on your ab definition.”
Adam suspected ab definition would involve lots of pain and cutting back on Cheetos and beer. Not going to happen anytime soon. All the same, he shrugged.
“I’ll be there.”
Several people waved as he navigated the crowd. He recognized most of them and returned their greetings but didn’t stop. The flowers headed in the direction of the hall.
He stalked through the threshold in time to see the flowers disappear out through a side door. He took a shuddering breath.
I said I loved her and haven’t seen her since.
“Adam, hey, do you like it?” India appeared from behind some foliage. She was still smiling, but her normal chirpiness was toned down. “I want to get it right,” she confided.
He blinked, for the first time looking around the hall. Thick strands of ivy hung from the ceiling while foraged leaves and branches covered the walls. He still didn’t know the names of half of them, but they were impressive.
“You got it right,” he assured her. Tilly was at the other end, resplendent in an avocado green suit straight from a seventies detective show.
“Thanks. I didn’t do it all. Laney did the coffin.”
He followed her gaze over to where Tilly was still working. Creamy magnolias, roses, and trailing pine needles completely covered the coffin, with thick waxy leaves woven through them all. A replica of the tangled, weed-filled garden at the cottage, but order had been brought to it, teasing it into something beautiful.
Something only Laney could do.
“It’s—”
“Yeah. It really is.” India sighed, not seeming to notice he couldn’t find the words to describe it. The pounding in his chest increased.
“Is Laney around?”
“You just missed her. She’s gone ahead to sort out the flowers for the cemetery.”
“A florist’s work is never done,” he said. India smiled as Tilly stood and walked toward the doors to open the service and let everyone in.
He found a seat at the back of the hall as half a dozen people took to the podium to share their memories of Doug Right. A couple were older friends, but the rest were of various ages. All lives the quiet man had touched. Tilly gave a eulogy that was both hilariously blunt and emotionally true.
If only I could write half as well.
The Carmichael brothers and several other locals carried the coffin out to the pink hearse.
“Want a lift to the cemetery?” Sam appeared next to him, a reluctant Cal trailing behind her. Her regular outfit of jeans and plaid had been replaced by a dress. She must have noticed his surprise, and she narrowed her eyes. “Do not comment. It’s all Paige’s doing. I’m changing when I get home.”
“You look great. And I’d love a lift.” He hadn’t planned to go to the cemetery, but he hadn’t planned on playing hide-and-seek with Laney, either.
“Good. And thank you for the compliment. By the way, please tell Paige. Her other plan is that I need to get better at receiving praise,” Sam said, sounding so much like her regular self that he laughed.
“Will do.” He followed her and Cal to the car, and they joined the trail of vehicles. The cemetery ran down a sloping hill overlooking the water, and he suspected someone long ago had decided the dead deserved a great view.
The graves were all well cared for, many with flowers growing around them in neat beds. He slipped to the back of the crowd as Doug’s coffin was lowered into the ground, next to his wife, while Tilly once again paid tribute.
Still no sign of Laney—only the huge wreath of flowers waiting there. India shrugged and mentioned something about needing wild blackberries for a bridal bouquet.
He’d been ditched for many things in the past. Lack of commitment. Bad dress sense. Failure to care about going to celebrity parties. But as far as he was aware, it had never been for the pressing need to pick fruit from thorny brambles before.
His lack of sleep over the last few weeks suddenly caught up with him. He clenched his fists.
After the service, everyone trailed back to the wake being held in Patsy’s diner. Adam waved Sam on. Laney obviously didn’t want to be found. Time to call it a day.
“Does this mean you’re staying to give me a hand?” Tilly appeared. She’d shed the avocado jacket to reveal a nut-brown shirt that was just as flammable as the suit.
“Sure.” He could put off brooding for another hour or two. “What needs to be done?”
“Packing away the chairs. I’ll leave most of the flowers here, but there’s one wreath I thought we could take to the Lookout.”
“Where Doug proposed to Mary,” Adam said, recalling the first time he’d met Tilly. “Seems fitting. Great service. I haven’t been to anything like it before.”
“Thank you,” Tilly said simply as they carried everything over to the hearse. It appeared extra pink against the darkening afternoon skies. “Looks like we just missed the rain.”
They didn’t speak on the drive to the Lookout. When they arrived, Tilly leaned the wreath against the bench, then sat down and stretched out her legs. The choppy water had gone still, and the sky had turned bright gray, as it often did before a spring shower. Then she handed him a large envelope.
“This is for you.”
“What is it?”
“The letters you found. He never woke up to read them, and the grandson didn’t want any of his personal possessions. The St. Clair Historical Society has taken some of them, but no one wanted the letters. I figured since you’re a fancy writer and all… You might like them. Don’t feel obliged.”
“Of course I’ll keep them.” Adam’s grip tightened on the envelope. “We fancy writers are nosey. Maybe I’ll even learn a few tips.”
“Seems like you’re doing fine on your own,” Tilly said. He stiffened and studied her face. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m talking about you and Laney.”
“You… You know?” he said, not sure quite how else to reply.
Tilly scoffed. “Please. Don’t worry, I’m sure no one else has noticed. You two are good at hiding your tracks.”
“Not that good,” he said before turning to her. “What gave it away?”
She shrugged. “I’m in the business of life.”
“Then there’s a misprint on your business card. And your big pink hearse will probably confuse people,” he said in a dull voice.
“And what better teacher? Death tells us so many secrets about how to live. The people left behind, the lines on their faces. Death isn’t meant to shut people down; it’s meant to wake them. In the past six weeks, Laney George has started to wake up and come back to life. The reason no one’s noticed is because she’s spent five years putting on a damn good impersonation of someone who’s already done that. But you can’t play a player. I’ve walked her path. I recognized the signs.”
Adam leaned back, the wood pressing into his spine. “I told her I loved her two days ago, and she’s been missing in action ever since. Apparently, she’s off gathering wild blackberry branches.”
“That’s my fault. I… I might have let it slip you were the anonymous donor who paid for the burial. I thought she should know what kind of man you are.” Tilly patted his arm. Her hands were strong and brown from the sun and covered in lines.
“Why would that upset her?”
He didn’t even know why he’d offered to pay. Was it for an old guy he’d never met? Or because he wanted to feel like he belonged in St. Clair? Deserved to be there? Not such a fraud.
“My guess is it’s because the cemetery’s been like her s
econd home. One she shares with her first husband. Maybe she didn’t want you both in the same place?”
“I would’ve stayed away. She had to know that. Hell, if she told me to leave town, I’d go.”
Tilly stared out to the gray skyline. “Admitting things is hard. Saying them out loud is even harder. She probably got scared.”
“Any advice?”
She shook her head. “I don’t do advice. What would Doctor Josh do?”
“Mess up,” Adam said promptly. “The guy doesn’t know half as much as he thinks he does.”
He’d learned that lesson the hard way. In fact, he could safely say that when it came to dating and romance, he didn’t know anything.
“That’s a good place to start.”
“Anyone ever tell you that you speak in riddles?” he said, but the heavy mantle of despair that had been pressing down on his shoulders lifted. He didn’t need to give up quite yet. He turned back to Tilly. “You’re from here. If you wanted to get some wild blackberries, where would be the best place to go?”
Her eyes gleamed in approval. “There’s a particular bush most people don’t know about. Always lots of berries to be had.” She took a little notebook out of her pocket and scribbled down an address. Then she handed him the keys to the hearse.
“Seriously?” He raised an eyebrow. “My car’s only a fifteen minute walk away.”
“Life’s short. Don’t waste it. You’ve been earning far too many BS points. It makes me uncomfortable. Now, off you go while Doug and I have a little chat.”
He pressed a kiss on her cheek and jogged over to the bright pink hearse. He had no idea what he’d say when he found her, but at least he’d know if he should stay or go.
…
Note to self. Next time I think about including blackberries in a bouquet. Don’t. Thorns pricked her skin and legs as she picked the last of the berries. She’d also included some brambles for the archway. Violet barked from over by the red cart, safely out of the way. Laney managed to untangle herself and drag the branch over with the rest of them. She wrapped them in a heavy blanket and stripped off her thick leather gloves.
There.
Done.
Now, what else could she do to avoid going back to her apartment?
She checked the time. Would he be at the wake? Maybe she should just go straight to Jessica’s? She’d spent so much time in the spare bedroom there over the years. But her sister-in-law hadn’t been feeling well; she didn’t need any extra stress right now.
“Need a hand?”
Her nerve endings tingled, triggered by the sound of his voice. Exactly why she’d been avoiding him. She couldn’t think when he was around.
I don’t have an answer for him.
If she held her breath, would it make her invisible? Violet let out a series of excited barks and raced away. Laney wrapped her arms around her chest and warily waited for him to reach her.
“What are you doing here?”
“Little bird told me this was the best place to find blackberries.” He stopped several paces away from her. Hands in his pockets, as if uncertain about touching her.
She let out a sigh. They’d have to talk sooner or later. “I take it my attempts at avoiding you have been noticed.”
“I pride myself on my keen sense of observation.” He tilted his head, studying her. “You don’t have to hide. If you want me to leave St. Clair, I will.”
His words were laced with bitterness, and something small and sharp broke in her chest. That was the kicker. She didn’t want to see him, but she didn’t want him to go, either. Why couldn’t he have just left things the way they were? Let them stay in the permanent state of their secret fling. Just freeze time so that nothing had to change.
“There you go, doing that nice thing again.” Her breath hitched, and tears stung in her eyes. “It just makes it harder.”
“Makes what harder?” His low voice sent a primal shudder through her, but she pushed it down.
“Figuring things out. You said you want a future.”
“I do.”
“And you still feel like that? Even after my disappearing act for two days?”
“Is that what you want? For me to take it back?” The hard edge to his voice sent ice water coursing through her veins. “What are you really afraid of, Laney? Me leaving you, or people knowing we’re together?”
“You think I’m embarrassed to be with you?” She rubbed her brow. The headache had faded but wasn’t gone completely. His eyes were guarded but vulnerable. Guilt lodged in her throat. He didn’t deserve that, which meant she owed him the truth.
To tell him how she really felt.
“You’re not?” he hit back. “If you didn’t want me at the cemetery, I would’ve understood. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t have the words.” Her heart pounded like a thousand volts had been powered through it. “This whole time, I’ve been telling myself it’s a fling.”
“Well, it’s not. Not to me,” he said with a bitter bark of laughter.
“Don’t you see, that’s what is making it so hard. Because if this is a fling, then at least I know you’re leaving. But if you say you’re going to stay, and I get used to it—” She broke off as the words tried to choke her. She forced herself to look at him. “Then it’s only going to hurt more if you do go.”
His face paled, but he didn’t move. “You think I’m going to change my mind?”
“Not intentionally…but you left once before, Adam.”
He bowed his head, and silence bled out around him. Was he angry? But when he looked back at her, his eyes flickered from dark navy to a lighter shade of blue. “I’m not the one who’s been leaving. I’m right here, Laney.”
She shut her eyes. I’m such a hypocrite. “I didn’t mean to make things so complicated. I don’t even know why you’re being so understanding.”
“Because I don’t want to go back to what my life was like before I came here. I want to be where you are. I want you to trust me to stay,” he said, and the longing she’d seen in his eyes when he’d talked about feeling like he didn’t belong anywhere flared up.
She swallowed as emotions swirled in her stomach.
He wants a life with me.
And he was right. Out of the two of them, she’d been the one that kept closing down, not him. He was doing all the things she’d wanted him to do when they first met. She took another breath. He wanted her to believe him.
I want that, too.
“I said I’d give you time, and I meant it. Do you want me to leave?”
“No. I want you to stay,” she croaked, and then he was there. Arms around her waist, mouth on hers. The threatening storm hadn’t arrived, and the air hummed with stored heat. Relief flooded her. When he was touching her, she didn’t need to think. Didn’t need to go over the raging questions that kept whirling around her mind.
His breath vibrated through her body. She was hot. Burning. She tugged at her dress and let it fall to the ground.
“Here?” It was somewhere between a question and a groan.
“It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve been together in the woods,” she whispered, clinging to him. “It’s private…and I have rugs.”
He answered her with his mouth, hot against hers.
Laney blinked as a drop of rain landed on her arm. She was beneath one of the old rugs, and Adam was pressed against her. Naked, warm, beautiful.
Another drop of rain hit her nose, and she peered up at the sky. It had to only be about five in the afternoon, but the blackening clouds made it difficult to tell.
“Hey, sleeping beauty, it’s starting to rain.” She twisted around and kissed his mouth.
“I love rain,” he said, not opening his eyes as his arms tightened possessively around her. “And sex in the woods.”
“I’m not sure what came over me.”
“I’m very charismatic,” he suggested, reluctantly opening his eyes, a smile curling on his mouth. “And being out in nature seems to bring out your wild side.”
Her cheeks heated. “At least promise me this time it won’t end up in a book.”
“On my life.” The smile faded. “I kind of hate you have to even ask that.”
Guilt went through her, and she kissed him again as another drop of rain fell. “Sorry. I know you wouldn’t. Though I did always wonder why you included it in the first place. Most of the other stuff about Nina wasn’t true.”
A sheepish expression flickered on his face. “I was trying to show some of Nina’s actions were justified. That there had been a relationship, one Joshua had been invested in.”
“Really?” She’d only read the book once, and all she’d seen was Nina being needy and not knowing when to stop.
“Really. Plus, a hot sex scene in the woods is always epic.” His mouth swept across her lips, tongue probing. Her body turned to liquid as searing need once again rushed through her.
“Woof.” Violet’s ear pricked as footsteps sounded out. Adam swore, and Laney let out a squeak. She tugged the blanket back up as a very pregnant woman with dark eyes stood over them, her face drained of color.
No.
“Laney?” Jessica let out a hoarse gasp.
“W-what are you doing here?” She scrambled to her feet and dragged the blanket around her naked body. Next to her, Adam reached for his discarded shirt and used it to cover up. Panic thumped in her brow.
“India said you came out here. There’s a weather warning, and I—” Jessica broke off, as if she was choking. “I need to go.”
Her sister-in-law spun in the direction of the road.
“Wait.” Laney clutched the blanket and ran. Stones dug into her bare feet, and soil clung to her toes. “I know this is a surprise. But you—”