Jock slid a glass across the bar to me. “Rum and Coke,” he said. “Guaranteed nerves of steel. Just mind you be careful, lass.” He glanced at Luciano and added, “I’d hate to see you get hurt.”
“You never answered my question,” I said, suddenly remembering our conversation from the night before.
“When you’re not so busy,” he said.
Sensing that was all I was going to get out of him, at least while Luciano was around, I thanked Jock and steered Luciano back to the group of hot men. Entrance into the group was as easy as Luciano walking into the centre and saying, “Eh, can we join you?” The group responded with a roar, which I took to be an affirmative. One of them patted the seat next to him and smiled at me. He was a bit tubbier than the rest, who were all even fitter up close, but he had a lovely smile. Still, I hesitated, hoping to snag the empty space next to the nerdy guy. Luciano plonked himself down in it before I could get anywhere close. He smiled and nodded at me, then patted his knee.
I cocked my head to the side, trying to work out what he wanted. Did Luciano fancy the sexy nerd, too? Was it going to be a competition? Our new best buddies stance was going to get old fast if this kind of thing was going to happen.
Luciano patted his knee again. “Sit, sit, Ellie,” he crooned. “Come talk with us.”
I shook my head and opened my mouth to reply, but at that moment, noise erupted at the entrance to the bar. I looked around to see that the rest of the photographers had arrived, obviously already drunk. Seth was leading the group, with Maria hanging off him. Seth looked around, surveying his audience. Spotting Luciano, he shouted, “Hey, Luca, come have a drink with me!”
Luciano shifted in his seat, looking rather uncomfortable. He nodded at Seth in acknowledgement, then looked back at me and shrugged. He rose from his seat slowly and muttered something under his breath.
“This is my friend Ellie,” he said to the group. “Please take care of her.” Then he went to join Seth, who greeted him with a bear hug.
I stood awkwardly at the edge of the group, clutching my glass and wondering what to do. The nerdy blond looked at me, clearly confused, and with no more idea of what to do now that Luciano had buggered off than I did. He shook his head, and then, with a big breath and a swig of rum, I lunged for the seat.
“Hi, I’m Ellie,” I blurted, feeling the rush of rum giving me confidence. “I love your glasses. They give you that really hot nerd look.” I smiled like a crazy person, cursing my habit of saying the first thing that popped into my head. I stared at him beseechingly, hoping he’d say something and end my misery.
“Hello, Ellie,” he said, taking my hand in a firm but not overly-assertive handshake. Excellent. “I’m Axel. Very pleased to meet you.”
He pushed his glasses up on his nose, actually looking a bit nervous. “Thanks for your compliment about my glasses. Sometimes I’m not too sure if they’re very fashionable, but I need them to see.” He flashed a brilliant smile and gave an embarrassed-sounding little chuckle. So far, so good.
I glanced up to see Luciano standing with Seth near the entrance to the internet room. Both of them were staring at me, although Seth was obviously trying to pretend he wasn’t. I felt as though I had done something wrong, but then reminded myself it was Seth who had led me on. Feeling vindicated, I returned my focus to Axel. Well, mostly. I stole the occasional glance to see if they were still watching me. They always were.
Axel was still talking. “It’s a very nice crew bar. We officers have our own bar, but it’s very boring. There are always the same people there, and they’re the people I work with all day on the bridge. I don’t need to see them in the evenings as well! I’ve only been here for two weeks and didn’t realise there were so many beautiful girls on this ship.” He smiled and took a long drink of his beer. This was really weird; I was supposed to be the one who was nervous because he was so good looking, yet he was the one acting nervous!
We chatted for a few minutes, yelling over the music, and I thought it was going well, given he hadn’t made a dash for the bathroom and ‘forgotten’ to come back. That’s usually a pretty tell-tale sign someone isn’t that into you.
Just as the music changed to a 90s James Bond theme, Axel leaned in to say something; his hand accidentally brushed my knee. He did that double-take you do when you’ve touched somebody you fancy and aren’t sure if you should move your hand or not, and decided on the bolder course of action: his hand stayed where it was. It wasn’t actually on my knee as such, but sort of hovering to the side, enough to make contact.
Somewhat depressingly, I didn’t feel much of a connection despite how good-looking he was; I didn’t feel compelled to accidentally graze him back.
A few of the guys made “woohoo” noises, and I quickly sat up straight, thinking they’d noticed Axel’s smooth move and were teasing us. I was getting ready to pull my knee away and make a joke when I realised their attention was not focussed on us at all. They were staring at the dance floor, mouths hanging open, and I saw more than one crotch rearrangement.
I turned around slowly to find Maria alone on the dance floor, gyrating her hips and pulsating her whole body to the aching, dramatic melody. She was wearing tiny shorts with high heels and a loose top that hung enticingly off one shoulder. The most annoying thing was that she didn’t look stupid or self-conscious. Dancing alone was not something I could ever do, but Maria made it look like a sexy foreplay scene straight out of a Bond film. Never mind the fact that she would have been the romantic interest who tried to kill Bond at the end of the movie…
Until the world falls away…
Maria flicked her hair dramatically and drew a circle on the floor with her stilettoed foot. Damn you, Sheryl Crow. Something by Mumford and Sons would have been considerably less alluring.
Beside me, Axel was transfixed. His stray hand had dropped back to his side, and though I didn’t want to look too closely, it looked like he might have been dribbling beer from the corner of his mouth.
Maria caught my eye and slowly raised her eyebrows. She smiled at the same time, baiting me with every move she made. Then her eyes locked solely on Axel. In what I thought was an overly obvious stripper move, she bent at the waist to touch her ankle and then slid her hand all the way up to her thigh; then she trailed it up her side until she flicked her hair again. I couldn’t understand how she still managed to look beautiful and classy when she looked like she ought to be dancing around a pole with cash sticking out of her waistband. If I’d tried to dance the way she was dancing, it would have been much less Showgirls and much more Scary Movie. How depressing.
My head started to spin with the need to distract Axel from the floor show. I didn’t feel any connection with him, but that didn’t mean I wanted Maria to steal him away. The guy had only been here for a couple of weeks; he couldn’t possibly have been prepared for an encounter like Maria. But before I had a chance to plan my next move, Maria reached out her left hand and beckoned to him. Surely he wouldn’t fall for that…
Axel got up from his seat. “Um, sorry, Ellie,” was about all he could muster before he walked, just a little too fast, towards the dance floor.
Were men really that easy?
Maria grabbed him as soon as he was within reach and kissed him with urgency. Axel wasn’t shy in responding, and his glasses nearly fell off as he nuzzled the side of her face and neck.
Yep, they were that easy.
I sat in stunned silence for a minute before being motivated into action. I stood up, making weak excuses to the group around me; they probably wouldn’t have noticed if I were on fire. I took one last look at the dance floor, and Maria smiled at me over Axel’s shoulder. She rubbed her hand up and down his back, then pulled it away to make the V for victory sign.
I wondered about the enemy I had made. In less than a week, I’d managed to piss off a passionate and angry woman, and it was becoming increasingly obvious that she was going to do whatever she could to cut me off at every pass
, not to mention making absurd hand gestures that only belonged in tacky 90s teen movies.
I thought about the guy in the Godfather Part II who’d said, ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer’. I didn’t think I could be close to Maria without getting burned. This wasn’t what I’d wanted, but it was clearly game on.
Chapter Six
“Obviously, Princess, we have to slap that bitch up.”
Caitlin and I were sitting in Nick’s cabin, munching on crackers and cream cheese. Nick’s suggestion was not especially helpful. Supportive, but not terribly realistic.
“Babe,” he added, swiping a cracker from my hand, “I have seeeen the guy you’re talking about, and he is worth a lawsuit.”
“I beg to differ, Nick,” I said around a mouthful of cheese. “If he was that easily swayed, I doubt he’s worth anything.” The fact I hadn’t been interested was beside the point. “Axel isn’t even the issue, anyway. The problem is Maria. I tried explaining things and being nice, but didn’t get anywhere.” I reached for some pastrami and said, “I guess I’ve got to get her at her own game.” Being with the two of them was already relaxing. Nick had put on disco music and called one of his waiter friends for an emergency food delivery.
Caitlin was quite chuffed by this, as crew weren’t allowed room service under any circumstances unless you happened to come down with the dreaded Norovirus, which called for immediate quarantine. Nick said that many staff and officers got away with it, probably because they tipped quite well and were a good long term investment for the room service crew. Nick’s friend had hooked us up with an Italian-inspired platter, which went remarkably well with plotting the demise of the Brazilian Bitch, as we’d started calling her.
“Well, I do have one suggestion,” said Caitlin in her trademark dramatic stage whisper. “I just found out Maria actually has a boyfriend at home. You’ll never guess what he’s like.”
“Rich?” I guessed.
“Gorgeous” was Nick’s suggestion.
“Half points to Ellie!” Caitlin said, giggling. “Apparently he’s some sad, overweight loser who comes from a rich polo family. She doesn’t give a shit about him, but she’s holding onto him until she finds another rich guy—and that’s what she’s here to do.” Nick and Caitlin both guffawed at this, although I wasn’t sure what was so funny. Before I could ask, Caitlin said “Fuck, I’m Starvin’ Marvin. I’m gonna order some more food. This stuff is just the warm up.”
As she dialled room service, she asked, “Does anybody want anything?” I was already stuffed and shook my head, as did Nick. Caitlin ordered an absolutely ridiculous amount of food, including a burger, fries, onion rings, and more cheese and pastrami. And some fresh fruit, just for good measure.
“I like to at least pretend I’m healthy,” she said with a grin.
When she got off the phone, Nick said, “Right, girls, let’s find out what Maria has been up to. Then we can work out how to use that information against her.” He grinned evilly. “What do you think?”
I’d not been on board long enough to pick up any dirt on Maria aside from what I’d just learnt from Caitlin, but couldn’t wait to hear more about what Maria had been up to. I didn’t think it would be too hard; people generally exposed themselves soon enough, and given how fast gossip spread on the ship…
When Caitlin’s food arrived, I was shocked at the size of the platter. She’d ordered enough for two people. Two really hungry people. I looked at the platter and then at Caitlin; however big her appetite, I had difficulty believing someone as tiny as her could eat all of the food she’d ordered.
She tucked into a burger with a huge bite that left sauce dribbling down her chin. Wiping it away with her arm, she started in on a story about some of her shipboard antics. “A few months ago, we were all playing the ‘Have you ever?’ drinking game in the Senior Engineer’s cabin on Deck 12, and I was losing.” She took another bite and said around the mouthful, “That is to say, I was drunk… And then we played strip poker and I was losing.”
“Meaning you were naked,” I filled in.
She grinned. “Anyway, we started to play Truth or Dare, and one of the guys dared me to run naked down the passenger hallway—you know the one that you can see from the atrium and the area outside the restaurants? It has a crew door at either end.”
We both nodded mutely, and I snitched a fry from her plate.
“I really didn’t want to, but I thought, ‘It’s the middle of the night, nobody’s gonna be around’. Makes sense, yeah?” She rolled her eyes dramatically and continued, “So I opened the door and started running, and as I was running, I heard music and I saw people, and then I looked to the side, into the open atrium, and saw people on every level…and then I realised it was dinner time. I was so drunk I’d forgotten we’d started drinking after lunch!” Caitlin broke into loud gales of laughter.
Caitlin’s enthusiasm for telling stories of her escapades was hilarious and contagious. Nick and I were both doubled over laughing, and we all looked so ridiculous that it didn’t take long before we were laughing at each other laughing, and then we were all crying and hyperventilating and holding onto each other for dear life. Caitlin was laughing loudest of all; they probably could have heard her on the other end of the ship.
Nick finally pulled himself together and asked, “And you’re still working here?”
Caitlin took a few breaths, dried her tears, and said in a low voice, “Well, I got disciplined by the cruise line, and by Justin, but it all blew over within a couple of weeks.”
Lucky her. I had a feeling if I’d been caught running through the ship starkers, Justin would have pitched me over the side himself.
‘Hot Stuff’ came on and Caitlin bounced over to turn it up a bit, yelling, “I LOVE this song! Right, I’ve got to pee, but when I come back, we’re totally dancing to it!” She disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door with a dramatic bang and a laugh.
A few minutes later, as Caitlin came out of the bathroom, the cabin door flung open and Nick’s roommate walked in. “Hey,” he said to nobody in particular.
Ah, this was the guy we’d seen in the mess a few days earlier, who had slept with Caitlin and unsuccessfully come onto Jacoline. Caitlin clearly had no interest in spending time with him. She barely even glanced in his direction as she reached over to flick off the music, and then stood up with a bored sounding sigh.
“Well,” she said, “thanks for your hospitality, but I think there’s a bottle of Kahlua calling our names back in the cabin.” She smiled and began to pack up the food. “Anyway, we need something to wash down all of this food!”
She caught my hand and pulled me out, waving goodbye to Nick, and towed me down the hallways until we reached our cabin.
As we settled on the floor amidst the remains of the food, Caitlin caught me watching her. “Something on your mind?” she inquired, popping a fry into her mouth.
I hesitated, and then said, “I’m so jealous of how svelte you look.” I nibbled at a fry of my own and added, “I can tell you right now that this fry is going to turn into a nice lump of fat on my thighs. How on earth do you manage to eat the way you do and still look so amazing? Tell me your secret, please, so I can finally lose weight!”
“You don’t need to lose weight, sweetie,” Caitlin said, smiling at me. “You’re beautiful just the way you are.”
I appreciated the sentiment, but knew it wasn’t strictly true—she was just being nice. Everyone knows that girls are bound by the girl code to boost their friends’ self-esteem. “Awww, thanks,” I said, “but seriously, I’ve really put on the pounds over the last few years.” I rolled my eyes and said, “Dan never let me forget it. I just want to lose a bit. Particularly on these thighs.” I grabbed a chunk of thigh and gave it a slap, “See, just here.”
Caitlin got to her feet and drifted over to the desk. She took a deep breath, appearing to chew over her thoughts, and began to re-arrange books and wipe away invisible crumbs. �
��Well…” she said finally, sounding rather unlike her usual confident self, “sometimes, but not always, I kind of make myself vomit.” She kept her back to me as she said, “Ellie, you’re not going to tell anyone, are you?” There was a note of anxiety in her voice that I wasn’t used to hearing from her. “Justin would freak out about this sort of shit.”
Some small part of me wasn’t surprised; there were too many times she’d waltzed off to the bathroom right after a meal—including earlier that evening. Also she had such a tiny waist and slender arms, even though she never seemed to eat anything other than junk food.
At the same time, I was horrified, and instantly regretted putting so much emphasis on her appearance. I hated to think that’d been contributing to making her feel like she needed to go to extreme measures to look a certain way!
I went and put my arm around her, for once playing the role of comforter. “Oh, Caity,” I said, “you are brilliant, and I already think of you as a close friend. I hope you know I’m here for you if you ever want to talk.”
She put her head on my shoulder. “Thanks, dude,” she said, sounding rather small and vulnerable. “I think I’m okay. I mean, I hardly ever do it anymore anyway.”
I didn’t really know what to say. I didn’t know a lot about bulimia, but the last thing I wanted to do was pressure or judge Caitlin. I didn’t want to alienate her, but what was I supposed to say? For once in my life, I didn’t have the words to fill the silence that had fallen, and the worst part was it was the first time I’d desperately wanted to say something.
Caitlin filled the silence for me. “My dad left when I was nine,” she said, her head still on my shoulder. I absently started to stroke her hair, figuring that if it had always made me feel better when Mum did it to me, it couldn’t hurt. “My mom was convinced that if she’d only been thinner, more beautiful, more perfect, Dad wouldn’t have left.”
“That’s terrible,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”
Sex, Lies, and Cruising Page 9