It took about twenty minutes, but by the end, that first hill had been conquered.
It was followed by another lengthy passage. This one hadn’t been in their textbooks.
It looked like it was going to take a while, so Sakuta decided to skip ahead to the kanji quiz at the back.
The dreaded homonym section.
1.I can __sure he’ll pay.
2.I can __sure you the country will remain stable.
Both had hosho in katakana, and he had to write in the kanji.
Without hesitation, he wrote ensure in the first problem and assure in the second.
“……”
When he finished, he stopped, feeling his pencil waver.
A doubt unrelated to the test itself had filled his mind.
The reason he’d known this answer was because he’d studied it the night before.
But he couldn’t quite remember the specifics.
Something felt wrong. The feeling started in his head and gradually took over his entire body. It was very unpleasant, like he was trying to remember something that refused to come out. It was right on the tip of his tongue but was stuck there.
The more he thought about it, the more upset he got. He felt like something was screaming at him from the inside.
“…What is this?”
He couldn’t explain it. It felt like…
Like a glow of joy in his heart.
Like bittersweet memories.
Like a memory of good times.
But also an intense sadness accompanying them.
One emotion after another tore through him and faded, then came flooding back. Wave after wave, shaking him to his core.
And then something fell on his answer sheet.
He was worried his nose was running, but it wasn’t that.
Something had fallen from his eye.
A tear.
He quickly looked up. He couldn’t just start crying in the middle of a test.
He took a quick breath, trying to steady himself, and someone’s voice floated across his mind.
“So which pair is used for ‘Nobody can ensure your future’?”
He knew that voice.
“You can also show me ‘Sakuta’s safety is not assured if he tries to cheat on another question.’”
The mist clouding his mind was clearing.
“Ensure means making certain something happens, while assure means convincing someone it will.”
He’d answered the questions just like she’d told him to.
The pen fell from his hand.
He shouldn’t be sitting here taking this test. Not now.
“Whoa!”
The classmate behind him had flinched, surprised. The girl next to him let out a squeak.
Everyone glanced up from their answer sheets, staring at him.
The teacher monitoring the test from the back looked at him, confused. “What’s up, Azusagawa?”
“Number two,” Sakuta said.
A laugh went round the room.
“Focus, people!”
While the teacher was distracted, Sakuta made a beeline for the hall.
He went right past the bathrooms and down the stairs.
The entrance was too far in the wrong direction, so he just clambered out a first-floor window.
He’d remembered something important.
Memories of someone important.
There was something he had to do for her.
“Ugh, this is gonna suck…,” he muttered, cringing already.
Minegahara’s schoolyard lay before him. He walked to the middle of it, measuring each step.
“This is such a stupid idea.”
Rio’s letter had led him to a plan.
The last line.
The student population’s unconscious denial of her existence can be overwritten by Azusagawa’s love.
He wouldn’t know if this was the right answer unless he tried.
Frankly, he didn’t think the odds were in his favor. After all, Sakuta was about to fight the air itself.
Push, pull, or slap it, the air would never care. The air in the school. The same air he’d spent this entire time refusing to fight.
The people responsible for creating it had no idea they were involved.
And if they weren’t aware of that, no matter how passionately he argued, his thoughts and feelings would never reach them.
They’d just laugh at his desperation.
The more worked up he got, the frostier their stares would become.
He’d just be met by telepathic, unvoiced emotions telling him to read the room.
That was the world they lived in, and Sakuta was acutely conscious of his own place in that world.
It was easier to follow the lead of the person next to you. Deciding what was right and wrong on your own burned too many calories, and the stronger your own opinions, the more it hurt when someone disagreed. Simply agreeing with “everyone” was safe. Secure. Never looking at anything you didn’t want to see. Never thinking about anything you didn’t want to worry about. Leaving all that to others.
The world was heartless like that.
So heartless it would unconsciously isolate someone and turn its back on whomever it had ostracized. To protect the air and to protect yourself, it was easy to pretend you didn’t notice. No matter who got hurt.
The world was so heartless, it could join in that silent understanding and feel no pain when others got hurt by it.
But “Everyone’s doing it, so I did, too” wasn’t reason enough for someone to have to suffer. “Everyone’s doing it, so it must be right” wasn’t necessarily true. Who defined everyone anyway?
Had he not met her at the Shonandai Library that day, Sakuta might have remained part of that nebulous “everyone.” He would have been just another contributor to her suffering.
But now that he’d figured it out, he had to settle this.
Even if that set him against the school itself.
Against the entire student body.
Against the air he’d been so desperate to avoid fighting… He could no longer turn his back on that problem.
Because he’d found something more important than maintaining the status quo.
He’d enjoyed the time he’d spent with her.
How she’d always teased him for being younger than her. The way she’d made sex jokes and embarrassed herself so much she turned bright red. And then how she tried to hide it, stubbornly standing her ground.
The childish way she’d gone all sulky when Sakuta didn’t do what she wanted.
She was a bit selfish, domineering, and temperamental. But despite the year advantage, sometimes her inexperience showed. She’d stomped on his foot, pinched his cheek, and even slapped him.
Getting yanked around by her had been the absolute best. When she’d retorted, grown indignant, or called him cheeky, he’d been delighted beyond all measure.
Only she could make Sakuta feel that way.
She was the only person in all the world who could.
And now that he knew that joy, life was pointless without her.
No matter what the cost, he had to get that joy back.
This was the price he had to pay.
He may have lost Shouko Makinohara without ever saying a word, but he wasn’t about to let that happen twice.
He never wanted to feel like that again.
“I’m done with always reading the room. To hell with it!”
At the center of the yard, Sakuta slowly turned to face the school building.
Three stories loomed over him.
A thousand students were inside those walls.
The size and numbers were both overwhelming. And if everyone ignored his efforts, he was done for.
He had no plan.
But he knew what he had to do.
It was time to stop fretting about one thing or another.
He had to do what he thought was right.
Do what he felt was
right.
To hell with all the reasons and excuses.
Sakuta planted his feet firmly beneath him.
He took a deep breath, gathering strength from his very core.
Then he launched the first shot at the top of his lungs.
“Listen up, everyone!”
Everyone was focused on midterms. The school was quiet. His voice carried far.
“I’m Sakuta Azusagawa!”
The vibrations were already making his throat hurt. But he wasn’t backing down.
The first reaction came from the staff room. A window opened, and three teachers leaned out. They were waving him to come over, but Sakuta ignored them.
“From Class 2-1! Seat number one.”
A stir was starting to run through the whole school.
“I’ve got a message…!”
He sensed people whispering, “Outside!”
One set of eyes after another turned toward the windows.
“For Mai Sakurajima, Class 3-1!”
When he said her name, he felt goose bumps all over him, emotions rushing out of every pore and follicle. It felt right, like all the pieces had just fallen into place. In that moment, he knew for a fact his feelings for Mai were real.
Sakuta exhaled, expelling all the air from his lungs. Then took another big breath. He looked at the school, at the classroom windows, at the students gathering around them, all staring back at him.
With the eyes of a thousand people on him, Sakuta let his feelings explode.
“I love you, Mai Sakurajima!”
He hit the school with everything he had.
“I love you, Mai!”
It almost felt like he was trying to rip his own throat open. He wanted everyone in town and beyond to know how he felt.
So that no one could ignore him.
So that no one could pretend they didn’t see.
He put everything he had out there in the open.
His breath didn’t last, and his shout left him coughing.
There was a long, confused silence.
Then a flurry of whispered questions shook the air.
All the students were staring out at the yard, down at Sakuta. Their collective gaze a giant hammer beating down on him. But rather than a single fatal blow, it was an indecisive, middling pressure grinding against him. A slow, painful, crushing weight.
He wanted to turn and run. Right out the school gates all the way back home.
His passionate declaration of love was whiffing hard.
“Ah, dammit! I knew this would happen. I’m just embarrassing myself here. Shit.”
The frustration seethed out of him.
“This is why I didn’t want to fight with air!”
Bathed in their stares, Sakuta’s fingers scrabbled through his hair.
“This is the worst…”
Again, the urge to run for it crossed his mind. His eyes turned toward the gates.
“……”
But his feet never took a step in that direction.
“I’ve come this far. If I don’t get a reward from Mai, what’s the point?”
Half out of sheer spite, Sakuta turned back to the school and started yelling again.
“I wanna hold your hand and walk down the beach at Shichirigahama!”
He didn’t stop to think.
“I wanna see you in that bunny-girl outfit again!”
Sakuta just let his feelings lead him along.
“I wanna hold you in my arms and cover you in kisses!”
He barely even knew what was coming out of his own mouth.
“My point is…! I love you, Maiiiii!”
His scream echoed across the sky. Every student and teacher in the school stared at him, which felt unbelievably horrible…but in that moment, Sakuta was too exhilarated to care.
A silence settled over the school.
Like everyone had agreed to do this beforehand. Like a collective gulp.
Sakuta wasn’t sure why.
A student he didn’t recognize was pointing out the window at him.
He didn’t know why. At first, he thought they were making fun of him.
He only changed his mind when he realized the finger was pointing past him.
He heard footsteps in the dirt. Someone was standing behind him.
Sakuta gasped…and her voice reached his ears.
“I can hear you just fine. No need to shout.”
It felt like ages since he’d heard her voice. Like he’d been waiting for years to hear it again.
Sakuta spun around.
A whoosh of sea breeze blew past her feet.
The hem of her skirt fluttered.
Her usual black tights were visible underneath. Her feet were planted shoulder-width apart. One hand rested on her hip while the other brushed her hair back against the wind. Her eyes made her look mature, but the hint of anger on her face made her seem younger.
A wave of emotion raced up through Sakuta’s body.
Mai was standing there, less than ten yards away.
“You’ll bother the neighborhood.”
“I just wanted everyone in the world to know.”
“They don’t all speak Japanese.”
“Oh! I didn’t think of that.”
“You’re so dumb,” she said. She hung her head, as if restraining herself.
“Better than pretending I’m smart.”
“That’s even dumber.” Her shoulders shook. “A stunt like this is just going to generate more rumors about you.”
“If they’re rumors about us, I’m all for it.”
“That’s not what I… You idiot.”
“……”
“Dammit, Sakuta!” she yelled and looked up, tears pouring down her cheeks.
Her first step toward him was in slow motion.
And then she was running.
Sakuta held out his arms, ready to sweep her up in them.
She was three steps away. Two. One. And then a crack echoed across the schoolyard. The sound rang through the skies above.
Shocked, Sakuta just gaped at her.
A moment later, his cheek started throbbing.
Only then did he realize Mai had slapped him.
“Huh? What was that for?” he asked, genuinely baffled.
“You lied to me!”
There were still tears in her eyes. She glared at him as if her fears were about to explode uncontrollably.
“You said you wouldn’t forget me!”
At last, he understood. She was right to be mad at him. He had lied to her.
“Sorry,” he said, pulling her trembling body in close.
He gingerly tightened his grip on her. Mai buried her face in his shoulder.
“It’s unforgivable.”
Her voice was muffled.
“Sorry.”
“I won’t ever forgive you.”
Mai rubbed her face on his shoulder, sniffling.
“Then I won’t let go until you do.”
“Then you’ll be holding me the rest of your life.”
Her voice was still wet with tears.
“Uh…”
“Is that a problem?”
She’d stopped crying, forcing her emotions back down.
“No man would object to a beautiful senpai saying— Ow! Mai, that’s my foot!”
“You got me to say all this, and you’re still going to try to hide behind generalizations? How dare you!”
“Um, my foot…”
“You like getting stepped on, right?”
“Sorry. I’m sorry! I regret it! Please forgive me!”
She was grinding her heel, and it really hurt.
“Anything else to say for yourself?”
“If you were scared to the point of tears, you shouldn’t have given me sleeping pills!”
“These tears are a performance to mess with your head.”
“Then thank you for making me give up the whole no-sleep thing.”
“You’re welcome
. But I don’t want gratitude from you right now.”
Her heel was grinding into his foot again.
“You know what I want.”
She applied more pressure.
Sakuta gave up and said the words she wanted to hear.
“I love you.”
“Really?”
“Sorry. That was a lie. I’m absolutely crazy about you.”
“……”
There was a brief silence, and then Mai took a step back. Her tears were gone. Only a few traces remained on her cheeks.
“Sakuta.”
“What?”
“Say that again a month from now.”
“Why?” he asked, unsure what that meant.
“If I answer you here, it’ll feel like I just got swept up in the moment.”
“I was hoping to sweep this moment right into a kiss, personally.”
“My heart’s racing, but…it might just be the situation,” Mai said. She turned her head away, blushing. The hint of red on her cheeks was beyond cute.
“I’m surprised you can stay so calm.”
She wasn’t falling for the suspension-bridge effect.
“And I want you to think about it, too.”
“About what?”
He knew how he felt. There was nothing left to think about.
“I’m older than you.”
“That’s a perk!”
“I’m a little hesitant to go out with a younger boy.”
“You don’t trust me?”
“No…I do, but…” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “It just feels like I’m seducing you.”
“You totally are, so…”
“I am not!”
“You’re always leading me on!”
Just off the top of his head, he could already recall plenty of intimate contact. Combined with all the cheek pinching and foot stomping, the result was a fairly healthy number.
“A-am I being clear?”
“I dunno…”
“No whining.”
“I can’t wait a month! How about I just say it every day?”
Mai looked surprised but also pleased. She smiled.
“Fine, but you’d better keep that up for a month. If you miss a single day, I’ll assume you changed your mind.”
She poked Sakuta in the nose and shot him an impish grin. He wanted that expression all for himself. But just this once, he was letting everyone see it.
The entire student body of Minegahara was watching them, stunned, mouths hanging open. No one knew how to react. Everyone was clearly watching those around them, waiting for the decision to be rendered.
Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai, Volume 1 Page 17