"Tell that to her. I told you not to mention anything to her. I told you just to stay out of it."
"Austin, I can fix this, really. Just give me a little bit of time."
"Addie, I don't need your help. You have done enough. She isn't going to forgive me. We are over. She meant it. I'm going to bed. Don’t bother me. I'll be out of here in a couple of weeks."
"What?"
"I'm moving out. It's time I got my own place again."
“Because of this?”
Addie turned and headed into her bedroom, and I slammed my bedroom door shut behind me. I ripped my shirt off, balled it up, and whipped it across the room. Then I flopped down onto the bed. I lay staring up at the ceiling replaying everything in my mind that had happened. It took a while, but soon I had cooled off enough that I was able to close my eyes and shut off the noise in my mind. I fell into a restless sleep.
19
Kristy
I glanced out my apartment window and watched as the snow fell from the dark-grey sky. It looked cold out, but I had no choice. If I was going to get a tree for Christmas, I had to go today or there would be nothing left. Plus, there was a bad storm on the way.
I turned and looked around at the mess of my apartment. I really needed to clean up this mess and stop moping around every day. It wasn't getting me anywhere. I was the one who had wanted this breakup. I had gotten what I wished for.
I wandered into the kitchen and opened the fridge to see nothing but bare shelves. I apparently needed to get groceries as well. I couldn't eat another bowl of ramen if I tried. My life had literally fallen apart in a short period of time.
I slowly made my way down to my bedroom to shower and dress. I walked by the mirror on my closet door and took a look at my reflection.
I had a smear of something across my T-shirt, some remains of some dinner I suspected. My hair, a knotted mess, was piled on top of my head, held by a clip. What I noticed most of all were the dark circles that lined my eyes. They were very prominent, proving the fact that I had barely slept over the course of the last week.
One hot shower later and I was beginning to feel human again. I stood in the bathroom dabbing foundation under my eyes, trying hard to cover up those dark circles, but it wasn't doing any good. When I grew frustrated, I shoved my compact back into my makeup bag and zipped it closed. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and held it up with a clip. I slipped into my favourite hoodie and most comfortable pair of jeans and made my way back out into the living room where I spent the next hour cleaning.
I pulled the boxes marked Christmas decorations from the closet and then made a spot in the corner of the living room for the tree I planned to get while I was out. Once I was satisfied with it, I shoved my feet into my boots, grabbed my grocery list from the fridge, and headed out the door.
I had just finished getting groceries and had grabbed a hot chocolate from The Roasted Bean before I made my way down the main drag of Hope Valley to the Christmas tree lot. The parking lot across the street was full, so I parked on a side street and walked. It would be a lot for me to carry a tree by myself, and I hoped that they would have someone who could bring it and tie it to my car for me.
I could hear the carolers that were always outside the tree lot singing “Jingle Bells” and I started singing along as I walked. When I rounded the corner, I came face to face with two of the guys from the fire department. They were both wearing Santa hats, collecting money for the toy drive they did every year.
"Fantastic," I mumbled under my breath at the sight of them. I glanced around. Thank goodness it isn’t Austin's turn to be here, I thought, so I walked over and dropped a five-dollar bill into the pot. I couldn't afford it, but at least I had a roof over my head and food in the fridge. The money went to a good cause. Most of those kids wouldn't even have a meal if it weren’t for the charity. The guys both smiled at me, thanking me for my donation as I entered the tree lot.
I wandered slowly through, looking for the perfect-sized tree to fill my small corner. I put my cup of hot chocolate down on the ground and struggled to lift a heavy tree out of the way to get to a smaller one behind it. As I grabbed the tree and pulled it forward, it shifted my weight. I lost my balance and almost fell over when I felt someone grab the tree from behind me. "It's okay, let it go. I've got it."
I froze at the sound of the voice. It was a voice I certainly wasn't ready to hear again so soon, and a funny feeling crept into my stomach. As the tree was thrown to the side, I turned around and Austin came into view. I swallowed hard. He stood there in his uniform; a Santa hat tilted to the left on his head.
He didn't say much, just stood taking me in. At the sight of him, I had forgotten about my hot chocolate, forgotten about the perfect-shaped tree that stood in front of me. I couldn't take my eyes from him—from those blue eyes, those strong arms that I longed to be held in. I missed him so much, that much I knew. I was afraid he would disappear into thin air if I took my eyes off him.
"How are you?" he asked quietly, studying my eyes.
I knew they hid nothing. He would be able to take one look at me and know that what had gone on between us had just about ruined me. I didn't want him to know so I swallowed hard, picked up my hot chocolate, and tried my best to put a smile on my face.
"I'm okay. You?"
He shrugged. "Okay, I guess. Just here to do my part for the charity."
I nodded, looking at the tree in front of me.
"I just came to get a tree. I think this one should do it," I said, stepping forward and grabbing the trunk, trying hard to lift it with my one free hand.
"Let me," he said, stepping in close and placing his hand on top of mine.
That touch sent shivers down my spine, and I breathed in deeply, smelling the scent of him, one that I had grown to love. He looked down into my eyes, and I watched as his eyes moved to my lips and back to my eyes.
"Thank you," I muttered and stepped back so he could lift the tree. We walked to the front gate and waited in line to pay, neither of us saying anything. Finally, the line had started to disappear, and before I knew it, the girl had rung in the tree.
"That will be twenty-five dollars please," she said, smiling at us.
I went to pull my wallet out of my purse, but Austin stopped me. "I got it," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a bill and handing it to her before I could argue.
"Can I get a couple pieces of rope as well please," he asked.
She smiled at him as she handed the pieces of rope to him. A surge of jealousy ran through me as he smiled back. Then I realized I had no right to get jealous anymore. Austin was single, and that was what I had chosen.
We stepped out of the gate, Austin setting the tree on the other side of the fence. "Give me a second." Without saying anything else, he ran off towards his truck. He was back in seconds and hoisted the tree up onto his shoulder. "Lead the way."
I led him to my car, and he placed it onto the roof, then tied it down, making sure it was secure before he said he was finished.
"Thank you."
"You going to be okay to get it down and inside?"
"I should be okay. I'll take it up the service elevator," I said, glancing at the tree I knew I would have a hard time getting off the roof of my car alone.
"I can pop over tonight and give you a hand if you need."
"You've done enough. I'll be okay," I said, avoiding his eyes. I couldn't look at him again or I was going to crumble.
"All right, well, I should get back. I have to relieve the other guys. It was nice seeing you."
"It was good to see you too," I said, standing there, not sure what I should do.
He turned to walk away, and I almost called out to him when he stopped and turned back to me. "Oh, before I go." He reached his hand into his pocket and produced a little box wrapped in red paper with a ribbon tied to it. "I got you this for Christmas. I want you to still have it." He held out the box in front of me, waiting for me to take it.
An uncomfortable lump formed in my throat as I reached out and took it from him. My eyes stung with tears as I met his eyes. There was no way I could cry in front of him again, and I prayed that I wouldn't betray myself.
As soon as the box was in my hand, Austin leaned in and kissed my cheek, his lips lingering there for a minute.
“Kristy!” Austin pulled away as he heard my name being called. I turned in time to see Tom jutting into traffic and crossing the road toward me, “Finally, I caught up to you. I see you got a tree! I was hoping we could go for a coffee and talk.” He said coming over and standing beside me.
I rolled my eyes, Tom was the last person I wanted to see right now. I didn’t answer him, instead I turned to look at Austin, praying that somehow, I could change my mind and tell him to drop by afterwards to let Tom know that I wanted nothing to do with him, but when I looked at Austin, his eyes were already trained on the ground.
“Merry Christmas, Kristy. I’ll let you go.” He said looking to Tom and then back to me. He nodded to Tom and then without another word, he turned around, and headed back for the tree lot, leaving me standing there with Tom at my side.
20
Austin
What the hell was she doing with that ass, I thought to myself as I dumped the last of the donations into the box inside my truck. That had been the only thing on my mind the entire afternoon. I was so glad that the tree lot was closing for the night. I wanted to get this money over to the fire station before I went to meet the real estate agent to look at the house, I was interested in.
I grabbed a coffee and then made my way over to the station. I drove slowly by Kristy's place, my heart beating hard as I checked to see if she got the tree off her car. I silently prayed she hadn't. I wasn't going to allow her to struggle. I figured if it was still there, I would go meet my agent, look at the house, and then go to Kristy's to help her. Then I wondered how I would act if I got there and she wasn’t alone. However, as I drove by, I was flooded with disappointment when I saw the tree was gone and there was no need for me to stop.
I had dropped the money off and headed over to the house I wanted to look at. I'd had my eye on it for a while, and when a price reduction had been set, I booked an appointment for a quick tour. I fell in love with it instantly, and I decided to put an offer in. Once the papers were signed, I headed over to Greg's. I didn't feel like going home to sit around with Addie all night and listen to why I should call Kristy or why I shouldn’t move out.
I banged on the front door of Greg's house. A loud crash came from inside, and then I heard Greg's wife shout something and the door was pulled open.
"Austin! How you doing, hon? Come on in," Shelley said, opening the door. "Just fling your coat over the banister," she said as she turned with their youngest on her hip and made her way back to the kitchen.
"Greg! Austin is here," she shouted up the stairs as she walked past.
I followed her into the kitchen and took a seat on one of their barstools. "Here, help yourself to pizza. Beer is in the fridge. Make yourself at home," she said as she stirred a pot full of something that smelled much like her famous chili.
"Greg!" she yelled again.
"Is that chili I smell?" I grinned.
"Yep, it’s for you guys’ next shift." She smiled at me, still stirring the pot and calling once again for Greg.
"I'm here. Jesus, give a man a break," Greg said, coming into the kitchen, laughing, and kissed his wife on the cheek.
I dug into the pizza box, grabbing a slice and taking a bite. "Thanks for dinner," I said, raising the slice of pizza in their direction.
"Who the hell said you could eat here?" Greg asked, laughing while he, too, grabbed a slice.
"Shelley," I said, grinning at her and making a face at their two-year-old daughter who was attached to her mother’s side.
"Come, let’s go downstairs," Greg mumbled as he kissed Shelley on the cheek and grabbed two beers from the fridge.
"Don't go getting all messed up tonight, you two. I don't need two others to care for," Shelley called after us.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever," Greg said, waving his hand at her as he opened the basement door and began to descend. Greg turned the light on and hit power on the TV, a hockey game coming to life in front of us. "What's going on?"
"What do you mean?"
"You look like shit, Reeves," Greg said, snapping the caps off the beers and passing me one of the bottles.
"Jesus, thanks."
"Hey, just stating the obvious. Besides, you didn't mention anything about coming here tonight."
Greg was right. I had been planning on going home and sleeping the night away after I looked at the house. This past set of shifts had been a long stretch for me. Everything that had happened with Kristy had thrown me for a loop, and then seeing her there today reminded me of everything.
"I dunno, just felt like hanging out."
"I see. Doesn't happen to have anything to do with Kristy does it?" Greg said, sitting down on the couch beside me.
"No, why would you think that?"
He shrugged. "I dunno, I saw her at the lot today—with you."
I didn't know what to say. Yes, it had everything to do with her. I cleared my throat. "I guess you could say it has something to do with her."
"Why don't you tell me what happened."
I picked at the label on the bottle, ripping a corner off. "She broke it off with me a couple weeks ago."
"What? Why?"
"Cause I fucked up."
Greg chuckled. "Don't we all?"
"True," I mumbled and turned my attention to the game.
"Women, man, are so messed up," Greg whispered for fear of his wife hearing.
“You’re telling me, I walked her to her car and tied the tree down afterwards. Just before I left, her ex – Tom, came over to her, asking her to go for coffee. The guy cheated on her with another woman in their office.”
“What did she say to the coffee?”
“I don’t know, I left.”
“Like I say, women are messed up.” Greg said leaning into me, whispering once again.
I chuckled and leaned my head back and focused on the game, trying to clear my mind of thoughts of Kristy. Seconds later, we heard loud voices upstairs, then the door to the basement opened and two of the other guys from the fire department came down carrying trays of pizza and a case of beer.
21
Kristy
My Christmas tree still stood in the corner of my living room undecorated. It had been a week since I had gotten the tree and seen Austin. After Austin had left, I had a fight with Tom, finally telling him not to come near me again. When I got home with the tree, I had struggled to get it up here, and then I fell right back into the same rut I had been in, moping around the apartment, crying at everything and ignoring the world.
I glanced at the boxes of decorations that still sat right in the way of everything and let out a breath. "I may as well shove everything back into the storage room," I muttered to myself. There was little point in decorating anything now. I glanced over at the sad little tree and then my eyes fell to the gift Austin had given me and began to fill with tears, but I quickly dismissed them.
The phone rang out, and I rolled my eyes. It had rung numerous times over the past week, and each time I had run to the phone praying it was Austin, but every time it was Addie. I was still too angry to talk to her.
I had just finished breakfast, and I sat scrolling through the new job postings, looking for anything that I felt might be a good fit for me. Again, I found nothing that even piqued my curiosity, and I got up from my chair and went to refill my coffee mug, tripping over another box of decorations.
I had just sat back down when my phone rang again. This time it was from an unknown number, and I let out a breath, debating on if I should answer. It could be Mrs. Clark. She had been having some major health issues over the past few weeks, and I promised her when I saw her the other day that I would h
elp her with her laundry this week and anything else she might need.
"Hello."
"Hey, it's me."
I rolled my eyes. "What do you need?" I bit out. Why Addie would think it was okay to call here after what happened was beyond me.
"Listen, the cancer charity needs those graphics that you've been working on. Is there any possible way I could come and grab the jump drive from you today?"
I glanced around my messy apartment and then down at myself. I had basically lived on the couch for the past three weeks because sleeping in the bedroom had been too painful. Tissues littered practically every surface of my apartment again, and my favourite plant that stood in the corner was nearly dead from being under-watered. I looked down at myself and realized I was still wearing the same pajamas I had put on after I had come home with the tree.
"Does it have to be today?"
"Yes, I work at three, and they need them to get ready for the charity event. We have to get everything to the printer today to have them ready in time."
I glanced around the apartment, trying to come up with another excuse, but I had nothing. "Fine, give me an hour okay."
"No problem. I will see you then."
I hung up the phone and took another look around my disaster of an apartment. I blew out a breath, got up from the chair, and grabbed a bag from under the kitchen sink, running around the apartment picking up all the bunched-up tissues from the floor, tables, and boxes of decorations. I didn't want Addie to think I was really torn up over all this Austin stuff.
I had just finished putting on the last coat of mascara when a knock on the door pulled me from the bathroom. Someone must have left the security door open downstairs, I thought to myself and glanced out the peephole to see Addie standing there.
I blew out a breath. I really didn't want to see her. I should have offered to drop off the files at the hospital, but I pulled the door open anyways. "Come on in."
Fireside Love Page 11