by A. C. Ellas
“I’ll get in trouble.”
“You shouldn’t have agreed to do someone else’s work, Jason. You should have come to me or Dad.”
Jason opened his mouth to protest then closed it. He knew better than to argue once Sammie’s mind was made up. His brother was nothing if not stubborn. But he was also fair, in his way. He was right. Jason shouldn’t have agreed to doing their schoolwork. Hesitantly, he said, “It was better than getting beaten up. When I told you about that, you told me to work out and get stronger. Remember that?”
Sammie frowned. “Yes, I do. Did you?”
“I tried. But…there’s six of them and one of me, and all of them are a lot bigger than me. Gary can pick me up one-handed, bro. I’m not like you. I’m not built like a pro wrestler. I’m a scrawny, little weed, and I don’t think that’s going to change any. And besides…it’s not fair. It’s not fair that the only answer to brute strength is more brute strength.”
“You’re right, it’s not fair.” Sammie ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, I won’t report it, but it’s got to stop, Jason. Right now.”
“But—”
“No buts. It’s over. No more. Now, let’s go swimming.”
Chapter Five: Nick
Gilly was stunned when Nick sought her out. Evie was still at school, and she had come home early for a change. Nick looked at her with tears in his eyes, which was an even bigger surprise to her. “What’s wrong, Nick?” she asked softly.
Nick bit his lower lip, looking down with an expression of embarrassment. “Ma’am…I have a problem.”
“I gathered that much, Nick.” Gilly smiled briefly, trying to help him warm up to her enough to speak freely.
His face crumpled slightly. “I…I had a bowel movement.”
Gilly winced inside, guessing at what might be coming. “Did you bleed?”
Nick shrugged. “I don’t know; I was afraid to look. It hurt so badly I thought I was going to pass out. It was like shitting glass or razorblades.”
Gilly wrapped her arms around him, offering him comfort.
“And now I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.”
Gilly tightened her hold, taking his lack of resistance as a victory of sorts. “It’s okay, Nick. We can fix this. Come with me.”
She took him by the hand and led him into the downstairs bathroom. He followed her docilely, making no effort to pull his hand out of hers. She opened the medicine cabinet and took out two pill bottles, setting them on the counter. “Here’s the solution for now. This first one is a stool softener; it adds water to your poop to make it softer and easier to pass. The second one is a laxative, which will make your poop even softer by moving it along in your intestine faster. As long as you’re careful to only take one of each a day, you should be able to avoid outright diarrhea and still have nice, soft poops that don’t hurt.”
Nick let go of her hand as he picked up the bottles, expression dubious. But he read the labels carefully before asking, “You think this will help?”
“It should. If it doesn’t, I’ll take you to see a doctor, okay?”
Nick glanced at her as if surprised at the offer of medical attention. “Okay. Thank you, ma’am.”
Gilly walked back into the living room with him. “How’s school coming?”
Nick shook his head. “Slowly, ma’am. I’ve gotten a bit behind in my coursework because of what happened.” He settled onto the sofa, staring at the wall glumly.
Gilly smiled to herself, for she had a surprise that just might be enough to crack the teen wide open for her. “Well, you’re also working under a handicap, you know.” When he gave her an inquiring look, she tapped the side of her head. “You don’t have a data port.”
Nick nodded slowly. “I know. I have to read everything and type in my responses, which only slows me down further. But I can’t even begin to afford a data port, ma’am.”
Gilly’s smile broke out. “Well, I can, young man. And on Saturday, I’m taking you both in to get one.”
Nick’s eyes widened in clear surprise. “You don’t have to,” he whispered.
“But I want to do this for you and Evie. No one should be without a data port in this day and age, especially if they want to go to the Academy.” Gilly winked as she brought up his dream. “So you’d better research what kind you want, okay?”
Nick smiled, a real smile that reached his eyes, at her, for the very first time. Gilly felt a warm glow in her chest as she saw something resembling happiness in his dark, stormy eyes. She couldn’t resist adding, though, “And we’ll get you a haircut, too.”
Nick laughed as he brushed the bangs off his forehead again, as he seemed to do at least once a minute. “I would really appreciate that, ma’am,” he finally said, still smiling. “I don’t know why, but hair in my face has always bothered me.”
Gilly replied dryly, “I noticed. You’re constantly trying to push your hair back. But the shape of your head is right for a spacer’s cut, so why not?”
Nick sighed unexpectedly, looking down at the floor. “Ma’am…I don’t know how I can pay you back for all that you’ve already done for Evie and myself. I…” he closed his eyes. “I’ll do anything you want,” he whispered, “to repay you.”
Gilly swallowed. She knew from her reading the lengths Nick had gone to, to provide for his sister, so she knew what he was trying to offer her. She sat down next to him and pulled him into her arms, giving him a hug. “No, Nick, you don’t have to do that for me. Or for anyone. I am your legal guardian now, and I’m only trying to provide for you as your father should have but didn’t. Do you want to know what I really want from you?”
Nick looked up at her. “Yes, please.”
Gilly smiled into his storm-grey gaze. “I want you to be happy again.”
Nick blinked at her in astonishment. Clearly, he had expected her to say something else. After a moment, he smiled through the sudden tears. “Ma’am, I’ll try to do as you ask.”
Gilly wiped the tears away. “Good. I fully expect you to obey me in this, Nick.”
Nick chuckled but fell silent again quickly as he continued to lean against her.
“I always wanted children of my own,” Gilly said softly, “but due to a cruel trick of nature, I can’t have them. That’s why I ended up in Child Protective, trying to help save the children that no one cares about. Then, I heard about you and Evie, and it nearly broke my heart to think that I’d failed you so badly, for your family has always lived in my area of responsibility. All I wanted was to find some way to make it up to the two of you, so I brought you into my home, something I’ve never done before. And now, even though it’s only been a few days, I feel like I finally have the family I’ve always wanted…and I want for you to feel the same way, even if only a little bit.” She wasn’t sure why she was admitting this to the boy but found herself unable to stop.
Nick turned to her at long last, melting into her embrace, pillowing his head on her shoulder as he began to sob, letting go of his deep, abiding unhappiness.
Gilly kept her arms around him as he cried himself nearly sick, tears running down her own face as well, tears of sympathy for the pain he’d known in his short life. When at last he was reduced to deep, shuddering breaths, she stroked his fine black hair, pulling his bangs back away from his forehead for him.
She waited as long as she could, enjoying the close contact between herself and the boy. Finally, she sighed. “Nick, we’d better both go clean ourselves up unless we want Evie to see us this way.”
Nick pulled away from her, his bloodshot eyes looking deeply into hers. “Thank you, Mom. I needed that, I think.” Then, he stood up and began to make the trek upstairs.
Gilly stared after him in wonder. He’d never called her mom before. Somehow, she knew it meant his acceptance of her and his willingness to trust her.
She stood up and walked upstairs in his wake, for she needed to freshen up herself and change her soggy shirt.
&nb
sp; Nick poked his head out of the bathroom as she went by, already looking better. “Mom, did you mean it about the data ports?”
Gilly grinned at his wistful expression. “Yes, Nick, I most certainly did mean it.”
Nick smiled again. “Thank you.” He ducked back into the bathroom.
Gilly splashed some water on her face, dried herself and changed her shirt well before either Nick emerged from his room or Evie came home from school. She hummed to herself as she went downstairs to bake some cookies, truly happy herself for once.
Saturday went well, with both children receiving their first data ports, getting haircuts and enjoying ice cream sundaes at the mall with Gilly. Sunday afternoon didn’t go so well, however. Evie came running into the kitchen, nearly colliding with Gilly.
“Mom, something’s wrong with Nicky!” she half sobbed, nearly hysterical.
Gilly put down her spatula. “What’s the problem, honey?”
Evie took a deep breath. “Nicky was in the bathroom for a long time. I guess I was kinda pestering him, ‘cause he yelled at me, and that’s not like him. When he did finally come out, he went directly into his room and started to cry. Nicky never cries, never ever. I’m scared, Mom.”
Gilly was heading toward the stairs. “I’ll go talk to him. And Evie, Nicky does cry; he just doesn’t like anyone to see it.” She walked up the steps quickly, making a beeline for Nick’s room. She opened the door without knocking, closing it behind her and locking it to give them privacy. She settled on the edge of the bed, resting a hand on Nick’s back, waiting for him to notice her.
Nick turned his head, his tear-rimmed grey eyes finding hers. “Evie?”
“She’s worried about you, Nick. You gave her a fright.” Gilly sighed, patting the boy’s back. “Is it the same thing as last time?”
Nick nodded miserably. “I’ve tried, Mom. The meds don’t help much. This time was even worse than the first time. I think I blacked out briefly, and I know I bled, I saw it.”
Gilly nodded, trying to mask the extent of her worry. “Okay, let’s go to the hospital. Do you think you can get up and walk on your own?”
“Yes, Mom.”
Gilly stood up and offered him a hand. He accepted the assist, pulling himself upright with only a small wince of pain. The two headed downstairs, to be met by Evie, who was standing at the bottom of the staircase waiting for them.
She looked at her brother. “Nicky?”
Nick reached out and ruffled her hair. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. You didn’t deserve that.” He glanced at Gilly, raising his eyebrow.
Gilly gripped Evie’s shoulder as she looked the girl in the eye. “Your brother’s sick, honey. I’m going to take him to the hospital. Do you want to come, or would you rather stay here?”
Evie looked at them with wide, frightened eyes. “I’d like to come, if that’s okay, Nicky?”
Nick nodded quietly. “Sure, Evie.” They all walked to the hovercar together. Nick was unusually quiet on the ride, not even looking out the window. Gilly had no idea how to set his mind at ease, she felt like she had a stomach full of nervous butterflies herself.
When they got to the hospital, Nick was taken back pretty quickly for tests. Evie remained in the waiting room, nervously playing computer games via her new data port. She had quietly said that she didn’t want to make Nicky uncomfortable by being in the room when he had to speak of his personal matters. Her delicate phrasing made Gilly smile, for Evie clearly had some idea of what the problem was.
Nick had carefully explained the problem to the triage medic, and that in combination with his very recent history was enough to ensure that he wasn’t left waiting around. The full scan took only minutes to accomplish, but waiting for the doctor to speak to them seemed to take much longer. When the doctor finally came in, the seriousness of his expression only added to the somberness of the mood in the room.
He sat down, clearing his throat. “Well, young man, I have news for you, and mostly it’s not good. We were very worried about your bowel, but you seemed to be healing well, so we left it in. I’m very sorry, but it’s going necrotic. We’re going to have to remove it.”
Nick stared at the man in shock, unsure of how to respond, unsure that he remembered how to breathe.
The doctor sailed right on, oblivious. “Now the good part is that we can grow you an entirely new intestine from your own cloned cells, but it takes time. Intestine is hard to grow, due to the complicated nature of the cell layers and structure. So we have to have an interim solution. If we leave your intestine in until the new one is ready, you’ll die. It has to come out. Do you understand this?”
Nick closed his eyes. “I understand,” he whispered, “you want to do a colostomy.”
The doctor nodded, obviously happy that his young patient clearly understood what was going on. “Only a temporary one, until we can grow you a new large intestine.”
“Six months is temporary?” Nick asked sharply, and Gilly wasn’t at all surprised that Nick had done some research already.
“Of course it is.” The doctor smiled a pat, professional smile. “I know it seems like a long time at your age, but it’s really not that bad.”
Nick glanced at Gilly then back at the doctor. “Can you leave us alone for a minute, please?”
The doctor stood up and nodded. “Of course. I’ll go get the consents for surgery drawn up while you talk.” He strode out of the room.
Gilly looked at Nick steadily. “You have to do this, you know.”
“I know,” Nick said quietly, a tear forming in the corner of his eye. “But what about Evie?” He closed his eyes. “She’ll hate me,” he whispered.
Gilly stroked Nick’s soft black hair. “No, she won’t. She’ll love you no matter what happens, Nick. You’re her big brother that she adores.”
Nick took a shaky breath. “She thinks I’m perfect,” he retorted, expression sad. “Please, Mom…please don’t tell her what they’re going to do to me. I don’t think she could handle it.”
Gilly pursed her lips. “I think you’re wrong, Nick, but okay. It’s your body, your business. I won’t tell her.”
“Thank you, Mom.”
The nurse came in a moment later with the forms for them to sign. Once that was done, the nurse told them. “You’ll be going back to OR pretty soon. If you have anyone else in the waiting room, now’s the time.”
So Evie was brought back to see her brother, and Gilly quietly stepped out to give them privacy.
Evie took a deep breath. “Nicky, are you going to be okay? I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you.”
Nick brushed her cheek with his fingers. “Evie, I’ll be okay. I promised, remember? I still intend to keep that promise. This is just a little setback. I have to have surgery…to fix something that wasn’t fixed last time. That’s all that’s going on, okay?”
Evie finally smiled and nodded. “I’m still a little scared, but when you put it like that, it doesn’t sound so bad. And afterward, will you still hurt when you…you know?”
Nick smiled faintly. “Hopefully, this will fix that problem. I didn’t know that you knew what was happening.”
Evie rolled her eyes. “Nicky, I might not be a brainy like you, but I’m not dumb, either. It was really pretty obvious.”
Nick had to grin at that. “Yeah, I guess it was.”
Gilly walked back in with the surgical team behind her.
Nick’s eyes followed them in. “It’s time?” he asked.
Gilly nodded. “Yes.” She bent over and gave him a peck on the forehead. “See you on the other side, Nick.”
Evie kissed him, too. “Good luck, Nicky.” Then the two women walked out, leaving him alone with the surgical team.
Nick looked down at his abdomen in horror. The round, reddish, raised lips of the colostomy stoma was what had his horrified attention. He hadn’t known that it would be so big, or so protrudent. Feeling the sting of tears
in his eyes, he touched it, feeling its meaty moistness, avoiding the sympathetic gaze of the nurse who was supposed to be teaching him how to take care of the new opening in his side.
The nurse said, “It’s only temporary, Nick,” and proceeded to show him how to attach the bag, which would have to be changed regularly, and how to empty the bag between changes.
Nick let the information wash over him. The whole process of it disgusted him as much as the hole in his side did. Six months seemed like an eternity stretching before him, an eternity of being a crippled freak who’d have to become intimately familiar with his own shit.
When at last the nurse left him alone, he rolled onto his side and cried into his pillow. He managed to gain control of himself when he heard familiar footsteps in the hall. The last thing Evie needed was to see him crying. He wiped the tears from his eyes hastily as he thumbed the head of the bed up into a more sitting position.
Evie peeked her head in the door at him. “Nicky? Can I come in?”
Nick waved her over. “Sure, Evie.” He not only had a gown over It, but the sheet and blankets, too.
Evie sat down in the chair beside his bed. “How do you feel?”
Nick raised an eyebrow. “I’ll live, I think. When I can feel my body again, I might have a better idea.”
Evie smiled sympathetically. “Lots of pain drugs, Nicky?” He nodded without speaking, so Evie asked, “How did the surgery go? Did it work?”
“Yes, it worked,” Nick all but whispered. “Where’s Mom?”
Evie grimaced. “Still talking to the doctor, I think. She told me to come right on up. Won’t give me any details of what they did to you, either. Really, I ask you, is that fair? I’m your sister, but I’m being kept in the dark here. Nicky, why won’t anyone tell me what’s going on?”
Nick looked at her sadly. “Evie, can’t you just leave it be? Some things you don’t really need to know, however much you might want to.”
Evie sighed, looking down. “I know. But I worry about you, Nicky, when no one will tell me anything. Don’t worry, he’s doing fine just doesn’t cut it, okay?”