by Toni Aleo
When a slap came to his back, he looked over to see his brother Seth sitting down as Laurence took a seat on the other side. “Hey.”
“Hey,” they said together, each ordering a beer before Laurence pointed to the picture that was filling Matty’s phone.
“She’s a cutie.” He smiled as he pulled out his phone. “She looks just like Avery and is a doll. She kept grabbing my face and nuzzling her nose in my beard.”
Matty tried to smile as Laurence went through his pictures. Seth leaned on the bar and said, “Yeah, and she’s walking now. It’s so cute. She’s like a little drunk person.”
Matty scoffed as Laurence played a video of Ashlyn eating some pasta, dancing with the spaghetti falling from her mouth. Jace was right there, trying to wipe her mouth and clean her up, though it was no use. Matty’s heart hurt as Avery’s laugh filled the video. “He’s a good dad, I guess?”
“The best,” Seth agreed, leaning back. “I didn’t think I’d like him since he knocked her up and married her without anyone knowing, but he’s actually great to both of them. Really respectful to Mom and Dad.”
“Yeah, he’s a good dude,” Laurence agreed with a nod.
Biting the inside of his cheek as Laurence scrolled through the pictures, Matty found himself asking, “How’s Avery?”
Laurence paused, dropping his phone to the bar, and Matty didn’t miss the look he shared with Seth. “She’s good. She’s gained some weight,” he laughed, and Seth shook his head ruefully.
“Dad said something to her, and man, I thought Jace was going to throw the table across the room.”
Good. Their dad could be a little hard to deal with, and it was good to know Jace was there to defend Avery.
Since Matty wasn’t. Not that he ever had been.
Swallowing hard, he looked toward the screen as Laurence went on. “She’s sold three more songs, which is awesome. They’re buying a new house, and yeah, things are good.”
“Good for her,” he said softly, taking a pull of his beer.
“She asked about you,” Seth added, and Matty kept his face stone-still as he looked up from the screen.
“She did?”
“Yeah, she wondered how you were.”
Matty slowly nodded as a silence fell between the three of them. She may have asked about him, she may have honestly cared also, but it was well known that he wasn’t invited to anything. He also assumed that his brothers saying what they did wasn’t just conversation. They were trying to build a bridge to bring their siblings back together. They probably had told her Matty had asked about her and Ashlyn, though he hadn’t until that moment. They were constantly trying to get the two to reconcile, and while Avery might have been on board, Matty just couldn’t do it.
And it wasn’t fair to her, Ashlyn, or even Wells.
But most of all, to himself.
The three shot the shit for the next hour before Matty found himself in his room, alone. His roommate, Jeff McNaire, was never in his room. He always seemed to get another room for his mistress or whatever, so Matty hardly saw the guy. Worked great when Wells was in his life, but now… Now, Matty was lonely. He could call his brothers up, but doing that would only depress him more. They’d talk about how great Ashlyn was and Avery, how their mom and dad were just beaming with joy at dinner. Yeah, he was good without that update.
Instead, he found himself doing what he knew he shouldn’t. He stalked Wells’s Instagram.
Pictures of Wells and his best friends, Vaughn and Jensen, took up most of his social media, but there were also lots of pictures of his sister, Wren, along with his parents. In every picture, Wells looked beautiful and happy. When Matty found himself on Wells’s Facebook, his face twisted in confusion when a guy appeared in some of Wells’s pictures. Not a friend either, but a guy Matty knew had a thing for Wells.
Alex Rahim.
They had met Alex once when they went to yoga back in Colorado. Wells had convinced Matty it was good for his hips, and Matty had teased back that Wells just wanted to check out his ass. He did, but what Matty didn’t like was that Alex seemed to be checking out every piece of Wells. He had even offered Wells his number when they were leaving. Wells had declined, but apparently, that wasn’t the case anymore. All over the page were pictures of them kissing, laughing, joking, and doing what couples did.
What Matty couldn’t do with Wells except behind closed doors.
When he scrolled over to a picture of Wells with his hand up and Alex doing jazz hands, Matty’s stomach dropped.
We’re engaged!
His eyes narrowed as he looked back at the picture, and yeah, there was a ring. But what the fuck? It had only been a couple months! How was Wells engaged already? Navigating away from Facebook, he texted Wells.
Matty: Really?
Matty: You’re engaged?
Matty: How? It’s been like five minutes since we broke up!
The messages were delivered and then read, but Wells didn’t answer him back. Swallowing down the emotion in his throat, Matty typed once more.
Matty: You won’t go through with it. You don’t love the guy. You love me, Wells. You know you do.
Still nothing.
Throwing his phone across the room, he lay back on his bed, his heart slowly but surely breaking all over again in his chest.
“He won’t do it. He can’t,” he said out loud. “He doesn’t love anyone but me.”
He was trying so hard to reassure himself, but if that were the truth, why did he have that sickening feeling in his gut that Wells would go through with it?
That he didn’t love Matty anymore.
That it was over.
Three
Alex was asleep beside him when Wells’s phone started to go off.
He reached for it off the nightstand, and his heart stopped when he saw who the texts were from.
Matty.
Staring at the string of messages from his ex-lover, Wells felt his heart start to race and sweat begin to gather at his temple. He had done so well ignoring Matty, trying to get over him. But these words from him made Wells restless. Pushing the blankets off, he got out of bed and headed out onto the balcony, letting the brisk night air hit his naked torso and cause goose bumps all over his body. Swallowing hard, he looked through the messages once more. He even went to type back, but he couldn’t.
He wouldn’t.
Matty: You won’t go through with it. You don’t love the guy. You love me, Wells. You know you do.
Wells looked out over the Denver skyline, emotion choking him as he repeated what Matty had sent, over and over again. He wanted so badly to text him back, to remind Matty that he was the one who didn’t want this, what Wells and Alex had. But what was the point? It would just hurt both of them.
He was tired of hurting over Matty Haverbrooke.
The first month after his trip to New Jersey, Wells was a wreck. Didn’t do anything for the first two weeks, when he wasn’t on the ice, but lie in his bed and wallow. After deciding that was pathetic and he needed some spiritual healing, he went to yoga—and that’s how Alex came along. It wasn’t supposed to happen, but one thing led to another, and he found himself with his cock so far down Alex’s throat that he forgot.
He forgot everything.
The pain, the hurt, the loneliness, the memories, everything—they were gone. But they always came back. Tenfold. And then he was a mess once more. Hell, he was still a mess. Closing his eyes, he let his phone fall to his side as he leaned into the rail of his balcony.
What the hell was he doing?
Did he love Alex, or was this whole thing out of spite? Was it just the sex? Was it the fact that he didn’t think much when he was with Alex? He didn’t want to cry or beg for Matty to come out so they could be together. Because Wells wasn’t going to go back to Matty unless he did. Wells wouldn’t do that to himself. No way, and because of that, he hurt all the time. He missed Matty with a fierceness he couldn’t even describe. He missed Matty’s laugh, his smile, and
those eyes. God, it was hard, but he had to stick to his guns. When he was with Alex, he got to fuck and drink and not worry about anything else. It was nice. But now… Now, things were getting serious. Was he making the right decision? Why was he asking this now? One text from Matty, and now he was questioning everything.
Where was this when Alex had asked him to marry him yesterday?
Had he even thought it through? Or was it that he wanted so desperately to be in a real, beautiful relationship that he just said yes? Because, shit, it seemed so quick.
“Fuck,” he muttered as he lifted his phone, ignoring the texts from Matty and going to his favorites on his call log. Looking over each name, he gave himself a reason why he couldn’t call them. Vaughn and Jensen would be asleep and wouldn’t answer. They slept like the dead. The last time he’d called his sister after eleven, she’d cussed him out and didn’t talk to him the following day. That girl was acting odd, and he had no clue what was going on. He’d see her soon, though, and then he’d harass her until she told him. That left his mom, and when he clicked her name, he only waited a moment before she answered excitedly.
“Hey, honey! So glad you called!”
“Mom, it’s almost midnight. I thought you’d be asleep.”
“No, hun! I’m planning! I got the event center booked for July, and then I got the courtyard for the reception.”
Squeezing his eyes shut, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Oh, I thought they were booked.”
“Oh, I made some calls,” she laughed, and he could just see her wiggling in her seat. “I made sure to give my baby boy everything he wants. Since I know your sister will never give me a wedding.”
He laughed. “You never know. She could find someone that she can’t ignore.”
He could hear his mother rolling her eyes. “That girl will never get married, nor will she give me grandbabies. So I’ll need you two to adopt one day.”
Wells swallowed hard. The problem was he couldn’t see himself having children with Alex. All he saw was Matty. “In due time.”
“Yeah, in due time,” she agreed, sighing. “I think I might head to bed. I’ve been up all day with my wedding books. I ordered them off Amazon and next day-ed them, so I’ve been busy.”
He smiled; she was so excited. “I told you to hire someone. I can pay for it.”
“Never. You’re basically the bride, so it’s my job, and I love it!”
“Okay,” he said softly, his heart in his throat. He was already in his thirties, so he guessed it should make sense that his mom would be excited for this. Especially since Wren was never ever getting married. That girl was her own person and would never find herself depending on someone else. That was just the way she was, and he loved her for it. As much as he wanted to talk to his mom about his reluctant feelings, he didn’t want to disappoint her. He was already the reigning disappointment to his father; he couldn’t do that to his mom. He couldn’t. “I guess I’ll let you go.”
“Oh no, wait. Why’d you call? Are you okay?”
He inhaled deeply. “I’m fine. Just wanted to tell you I loved you,” he lied, shaking his head.
“Aw, my sweet boy. I love you too, honey.”
That made him smile slightly, but then he found himself asking, “You like Alex, right?”
His mother paused. “Of course, but it doesn’t matter what Dad and I think. It’s about you, honey. Do you love him?”
Did he?
“Who’s calling so late?” Wells heard his father ask.
“Wells.”
“Oh, is he still getting married to a man?”
Wells shook his head. His father’s issues with his sexuality were always a touchy topic, but when he’d found out Wells was getting married, it was easy to say his father wasn’t very happy. The total opposite of his mother, actually. “I’ll let you go, Mom. I love you.”
“I love you, honey,” she said just as he hung up. Slowly, he leaned his hips into the rail as his arms hung over it. He was cold, but he wasn’t ready to go in yet. There’d be no point. He couldn’t put the TV on; Alex would wake up, and he couldn’t stand to be woken up. When Wells slept with Matty, or when Matty slept here, he was able to watch TV since Matty slept like a rock. But then, usually, Matty was up anyway, unable to slee0,p just like Wells. Their minds moved a million miles a second. They’d talk, touch, and enjoy each other. It was easy, and Wells missed him. So much.
But it didn’t matter.
He was with Alex.
He loved Alex.
Even if it was as easy as breathing when he was with Matty, it was also hard. They couldn’t go out together and be together. They’d go to dinner, and he wouldn’t even be able to touch Matty. What if someone saw? What if someone went back and told Matty’s dad he was making out with a guy at dinner? It just couldn’t happen. Matty wouldn’t meet his parents. He’d met Vaughn and Jensen, but that was because they were in Wells’s apartment, and it was only after Wells had promised over and over again they wouldn’t say anything. Even then, Matty wouldn’t touch Wells. He always held in the PDA, and it drove Wells crazy because all he wanted to do was touch and love on the man who completed him.
Alex, though…he was all over Wells. Alex wanted him all the time. They went to dinner, drinks, everywhere, together, as a couple. Wells had met Alex’s family, and they loved him. He adored them. He knew his best friends loved Matty, while they weren’t sold on Alex, but that would change. He just knew it.
While things were right on the surface, on the inside, Wells was conflicted. He had the true couple-like relationship—everything he wanted—but he didn’t have it with the person he truly wanted. He knew it, he did, but while Alex wasn’t who he’d wanted—Alex was who wanted him—and Wells was tired of trying to find a good person who would love him the way he deserved. He did care for Alex, maybe even loved the guy. So while it wasn’t Matty, and yeah, it hurt to know that it never would be, Wells knew what he had to do.
Walking back inside, he shut the door quietly and went to the bed, plugging his phone back in. Climbing into the bed, he covered up as Alex rolled over, wrapping his arm around his waist.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” Wells said softly, kissing Alex’s temple. “I had to call my mom.”
Alex smiled against Wells’s jaw. “Is she still so excited?”
“She is,” Wells said as he closed his eyes. “So am I.”
He hoped Alex believed his words.
Because he didn’t.
Four
Six months later…
Staring in the mirror, Wells moved his tie along his neck as he watched Vaughn behind him, shaking his head at Jensen. “It was an accident.”
“You threw fucking glitter in my mouth!” Jensen yelled, still spitting some of the glitter that Vaughn had, in fact, doused him with. While it had been extremely funny, it wasn’t when Jensen threatened to kill Vaughn. Then it got a bit scary since Jensen hardly ever got mad. “I’m going to be spitting glitter all night.”
Vaughn chuckled. “And if you swallowed any, you’ll be shitting it!”
Jensen’s face broke. “Ha, yeah. I’ll send you a picture.”
“Awesome.”
Idiots.
But Wells couldn’t really contribute to their conversation, not when his nerves were at an all-time high and his heart was pounding in his chest. Was he really doing this? Was he going to marry Alex? Biting his lip, he closed his eyes. He couldn’t back out. His parents would be livid…and, plus, Alex was good for him. He loved him. He did.
Didn’t he?
“Boys, I need your help,” his mother called, poking her head in the room. “Wells, you too, honey.”
She was gone before he could agree. He watched as Vaughn and Jensen left the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Looking back at his reflection in the mirror, he was unsure of the person who stared back at him. He almost didn’t like himself. He felt like a fake, which made no sense whatsoever. He loved Alex. Tha
t was that. There was nothing else that mattered.
But he couldn’t stop thinking of Matty.
Or better yet, of the first time he saw him…
Running his tongue along the inside of his bottom lip, Wells leaned on the boards as he watched the play in front of him. They were down by one, needing to score to tie so they could ultimately win. But Wells was finding that he was having a hard time paying attention. That wasn’t like him. He was always focused, leaving everything off the ice but the game. This was his career, his dream. But he couldn’t help it, his gaze kept drifting to number fifty-one on the Rangers’ side.
Haverbrooke, which was the name printed above his number, was undeniably beautiful. He was masculine, so thick and big. He was gorgeous. This was a first occurrence for Wells. Sure, he found lots of men good-looking, but when the guy met his gaze, his turquoise eyes mesmerizing during warm-ups, Wells had a hard time letting that go.
He wanted to know him.
He wanted to touch him.
And then some.
But he knew darned well that someone that gorgeous, that strong, along with that talent, was more than likely straight. Which was depressing. All the girls got the good ones. Though, Wren would say it was the other way around. Looking over at the Rangers’ bench, he found Haverbrooke had come off the ice. But unlike Wells, he was watching the play. His brows were pulled in, his jaw tight as sweat dripped down his cheek to his jaw and then onto the ice.
God, Wells wanted to lick him.
“Hey faggot, what you looking at?” one of the Rangers’ guys called.
“Ah, fuck off,” Wells hollered back, spitting on the ice. “You weren’t calling me a faggot last night.”
His teammates all laughed, his buddy Manahan smacking him on the back. “Don’t give them any fuel. I really don’t want another fine for laying someone out.”
Wells smiled as he nodded. “I hear ya.”
They shared a smile just as their lines were called. Manahan was an enforcer, a good guy, real tough, and a really good friend. They weren’t as close as Wells would like, but then Vaughn and Jensen took up so much of his time. Well, actually, just Vaughn did. He was such a diva.