by Toni Aleo
Looking back at his screen, he shakes his head. “First, I will never deserve you, you’re too good for me but we’ll get to that later. Second, this is not your fault. It’s that piece of shit’s fault and don’t ever let me hear you say that again.”
“But-”
“No buts, listen to me. I promise I’ll let you do this yourself and we’ll do it your way but you have to trust me, you have to believe that I’m going to do everything in my power to help you. You’re going to get away from him and you’re going to live a long and beautiful life, I can promise you that.”
I glance down at my hands and take in a deep breath. “Thank you.”
“Anything for you.”
I look up to see him typing away. Standing up, I walk over to the desk and reach over, taking his hands off the keys and pulling him up. He looks surprised but he goes with it, until he is fully up, looking down at me with concern in his eyes.
“Tucker, I don’t know how to thank you. I want to kiss you, but-” I say but he stops me, placing his finger over my lips before smiling down at me.
“As much as I would love that very much, I know that it can’t happen and I’m okay with that because we’ll have our time. You need to get away, you need to heal and then we can be together. We can be happy.”
His hand comes up and slowly he rubs his thumb along my bottom lip.
“Until then though, I’ll be behind you one hundred percent. I will be here when you need me. I’ll give you the strength and support you need, every step of the way. You will never feel alone ever again.”
My tongue is thick but somehow I’m able to whisper, “how did I get so lucky to find you?”
He smiles before enveloping me in a tight hug. Kissing the top of my head, he whispers, “I wonder the same thing and I thank God every night because I found you.”
Tucker: Everything okay?
Violet: Yes, I’m about to leave.
Tucker: Okay, see you soon.
Violet: Thanks.
Tucker: Anytime.
I smile as I lay my phone down before running a brush through my hair. It’s been three days since I told Tucker about everything and he has been simply amazing. He’s always texting to make sure I’m okay, even offering to let me stay with him or in his family’s condo. Of course, I declined – for obvious reasons – but it was nice to have the option. If I could get away with staying with Tucker or even in a condo I would, but I know Rob would find me in no time. He knows too many people in the town and I know for a fact he’ll come to my work.
Laying down my brush, I head to the kitchen to grab my things so I can leave. When I reach the living room, the door is opening and Rob glances at me as he lays his keys down on the table near the door.
“Where are you going?”
“To work,” I answer, reaching for my purse. I walk around the counter and slide my feet into my heels before turning, and when I do, I run right into Rob. He gives me a look as I scramble back, running into the counter. He rolls his eyes before looking over at me.
“Did you get that shit fixed with your check?”
I shake my head. “Tucker isn’t sure why it isn’t going in because it is pulling from his account. He’s looking into it.”
“Doesn’t he know you need money?”
I shrug. “He said it’s the bank. He offered to write me a personal check but I figured we’re fine.”
His eyes narrow as he takes a step towards me. “Don’t you think that is something you should have asked me? You should have taken the check, we need money.”
“How, when you work?” I ask, confused. “You are always working so I don’t know why you depend so much on my money.”
When I notice that his eye is beginning to twitch, I take another step back, rounding the counter to put some space between us. “I didn’t ask for your opinion, I said to ask me next time. Ask for the check. I need money.”
I shake my head. “No, Rob, I don’t feel right asking for it.”
“I don’t care what you feel right doing, do what I say.”
I don’t want this to turn into a fight. I want to get to work and then I won’t see him for the next couple days because he is going back to work. I just need to get out of here, hopefully by the next time I see him I can figure out what to say to him. Just with the two paychecks I’ve gotten in my bank, I’m already sitting with over three thousand. All I need is another thousand and I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to get a lawyer and have money to live in Colorado until I find a job. That’s my goal at least and I am hoping it can work but he is pressing me really hard about this money and I have no clue what I’m going to do.
“Alright, I’ll ask,” I say, picking up my purse and then my keys before heading to the door.
As I’m about to close it though, Rob says, “If you don’t ask, I’ll ask him. I see him every week at the hospital and you better hope you aren’t lying.”
I shut the door and let out a breath. Damn it. What am I going to do? As I drive to work, all I can do is think about what I am going to tell Rob, or how I’m going to hide that I’m keeping the money for myself. I’m having the hardest time thinking of anything else to say. When I pull into the parking lot of the office, I lean back in the seat and let out a long breath. For the nine hundredth time, I scold myself for getting in this situation but I have to remember that I’m almost out.
Almost.
Opening the door, I grab my work bag and head into the office through the back. Everyone is moving around, getting ready for the day and as I pass everyone wishes me a good morning. It’s nice and I know I’ll miss these people once I’m gone. I’ll come back though. Or at least I hope I will.
I lay my things on my desk once I enter my office and then grab my mug before heading to the break room for some coffee. When I get there though, it’s full when usually it’s empty. Looking around, I know I look confuse as I ask no one in particular, “what’s up?”
“Dr. T called a meeting,” Mrs. Yolanda says before handing me a pamphlet. My brow rises as I read the first line.
Learn to defend yourself!
What the hell? Opening the pamphlet, I discover that it is for a self-defense teacher, Gary St. Claire, who goes anywhere to teach a class on how to defend yourself. Just as I’m about to ask why the hell we’re having a meeting about this, Tucker strolls in looking dashing as ever. He wasn’t wearing his white coat, just a black button up shirt with a red tie. His black dress pants fit him perfectly but that wasn’t what had my attention. Like always, it his eyes. They’re dark but light at the same time, giving off the perfect combination to brighten my day. He captivates me completely, and I wish that we could pursue our feelings. I wish I could look at him and tell him the three words he has said to me, but it’s not the time. Like he said, we’ll have our time. We just have to wait. I just hope that I’m worth waiting for because I know he is.
“Alright ladies, hope everyone is well this morning. Did everyone get a pamphlet?”
Everyone nods before he goes on. “Good. Okay, here’s the deal. There has been an outbreak of attacks in Tennessee this year and I have decided that I couldn’t bear having anything happening to any of you, so I’m bringing in Mr. St. Claire to train you in the art of defending yourself.”
There is silence until Amy raises her hand. “Is it mandatory? Because as much as I appreciate you worrying about us and all, I dare someone to attack me. I’d kick their butt.”
Everyone laughs, even I do, but Tucker doesn’t. His mouth is in a straight line before he says, “Yes, Amy, it is mandatory. Unless you have health problems that would keep you from training, I want everyone to do it. It’s paid training and it’s something I feel you all need.”
No one says anything as he looks down at the piece of paper in his hands. He then looks up at us, and says, “It isn’t even about being attacked for your purse or something; it could be rape. Over eighty-nine thousand cases were reported last year in Tennessee for rape and did you know that
one in four women have experienced domestic violence in her lifetime? That’s scary stuff.”
He pauses to let that soak in and all I can do is look at my lap. It’s scary to know that there are other woman that go through the same thing I do. Everyone always thinks they’re strong and that this kind of thing will never happen to them and, at one time, I thought that too. I thought I was untouchable, that Rob loved me, and look at where I am now. It’s a vicious thing that I’m going through and I’m glad that Tucker is doing this. I’m proud of him and thankful.
“I know you may think I’m crazy for this, but I work in an office with ten ladies, the only other male being my father whenever he shows up. I care about each and every one of you as if you were my family. I know a lot of offices that offer this to their employees and I think we need this. It will not only protect you, but it will unite us as an office. The class will be on Friday afternoons at three, here in the back. We’ll need to reschedule our patients for Friday since we’ll be closing early. I don’t want it to run into your everyday schedules so I’ve decided to close early.”
The two front office girls nod their head as Rachel says, “I’ll get that done today. You want the last appointment to be what? Two?”
“Yes, thank you, Rachel. Any other questions?”
When everyone shakes their head, Tucker claps his hands before saying, “Okay, that’s all I got. Everyone have a nice day.”
I smile brightly at Tucker as I stand, and he grins back before turning to look at Mrs. Yolanda who is asking a question. I want to tell him how proud I am of him, how amazing this all is but it can wait. Everyone disburses in their own direction while I go the coffee pot to get the cup I had initially came for. As I pour my cup, I feel someone behind me and when I turn, Tucker is looking down at me.
“Good morning, Violet.”
A grin pulls at my lips as I say, “Morning, Tucker.”
He smiles as he looks away. “Everything okay?”
I nod. “Everything is fine, well,” I pause and let out a breath. I hate to trouble him with this but no sooner I say the words, he asks, “What?”
“He’s been asking where my money is. I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to say. He says he will ask you if I don’t tell someone or at least have the money in the account.”
He scoffs as he looks off the side. “Please let him come to me.”
I reach out, wrapping my fingers around his forearm. He looks down at my hand and then back at me as I say, “Please, you promised you wouldn’t say or do anything to him.”
“And I won’t,” he answers, putting his hand over mine. “But only because you’ve asked me too.”
“Thank you.”
He shakes his head, moving his hand off mine before saying, “as much as I’d rather you let me kill him, this excuse will get you by until you have enough money to leave. I still think you should go to the cops but since you won’t, here is what you do. Say that you go demoted because you’ve missed so much for being sick, your grandmother’s passing and all. Take your raise money and deposit that in your account.”
I’m confused. Raise? “Huh? What raise?”
“The one my dad approved after seeing the notes and the ideas you had for the digital office. I told you it was coming.”
“I know but I didn’t think it would be this soon.”
He smiles before chucking my chin softly. “When you’re as amazing as you are, things come quickly. My dad loves you and decided you didn’t have to wait the normal ninety days before a raise.”
I smile, feeling as if some of the weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It’s the perfect excuse and it will work but I really don’t know how I will ever repay Tucker and his family. “Thank you,” I whisper, “I know that’s not enough, but tell your father ‘thank you’.”
“Your performance is what got you the raise. You do a great job around here. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that, but I will keep saying it until you believe me.”
“It may take a while.”
“I got all the time in the world for you,” he says before turning and walking away. I watch as he heads out the break room towards his office and I wish I could tell him how wonderful he is but I can feel eyes looking my way. Turning back to my coffee, I finish pouring it and then head down the hall. When I enter my office, I find him standing against my bookshelf with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Hey, I thought you went to work.”
He shakes his head as I close the door. “No, Amy was watching us, that’s why I walked away, but I wasn’t done talking to you.”
“Oh okay,” I say going back to my desk and setting down my coffee. “What’s up?”
He walks around a bit before turning to look down at me. “Are you okay with the self-defense class?”
I nod, a small smile resting on my lips. “Yes, of course. Thank you.”
He lets out a breath before letting his shoulders fall in relief. “Oh good, I was nervous you would think I was overstepping.”
“No, not at all.”
“But calling my lawyers, getting the biggest suit imaginable against him or hiring a hit man is overstepping?”
I laugh as I roll my eyes. “Yes, Tucker. Very much so.”
He makes a face as he falls into the chair in front of my desk. “Okay, how about this?”
He lays down a piece of paper on my desk and I pick it up, reading. It’s a support group for battered women in the next town over. They meet every Tuesday and Thursday at eight p.m. and offer all the support a woman needs to get out of their current situation or stay away. I look up at Tucker and I can tell he is worried.
“No, it’s not, but I don’t know,” I say, dropping the piece of paper. “It took me forever just to talk to you.”
He scoots to the edge of his seat, nodding as he folds his hands in front of him. “I get that, but the percentage of women who get out and stay away from their abuser is higher when they go to support groups or therapists. Since you won’t take any of my money to go to a therapist and I know you can’t spend your money since you’re saving it, I figured this is the best thing for you. To help keep you away from Rob. It’s in Williamsburg, so no one will know you, or Rob; it will be safe.”
I love that he is so caring. This man is a gift from God, I swear he is. With a smile, I say, “When I get away, Tucker, you won’t have to worry, I’ll never go back.”
“I hope so, but this will help you get away too. These women have either been through it or are going through it. They’re just like you. They can help more than I can, more than anyone can. I’m only asking. I’ll take you so that no one really knows you’re there. I’ll sit in the car or I’ll sit with you. It’s whatever you want. I just want to help.”
I look back down at the paper, re-reading what it says. I can feel him watching me and in my head this isn’t happening. In my head, we’re happy, together and completely in love. Instead of talking about support groups and self-defense courses, we’re talking about when we will move in together. When we will get married and have babies but that isn’t my life. I chose a life that has done nothing but make me think I was ruined but that was until Tucker came along. He believes in me when I don’t.
Looking back up at the gorgeous man that has been here even when I didn’t want him to be, I smile. “I will think about it.”
“That’s all I can ask,” he says before standing up and heading toward my door. “Have a great day, Violet.”
“You too,” I say before he leaves my office. I look back down at the paper and push it to the side. I don’t know if I’m ready for something like that. It took years for me to open up to Tucker and I’m not sure I can go sit with a group of women and tell all my deep dark secrets. It just doesn’t seem like something I could do, but the thing is, Tucker is right. I need to start healing, I need to know I can get out and live a successful and meaningful life. Hearing it from Tucker is one thing but hearing it from a group of women that have
left their abusers is what I need. Looking back over at the paper, I read the headline again:
Are you being abused?
Never once have I admitted that I was a victim of abuse, I believed for so long that he really did love me and then it turned into fear that kept me there, but now reading those words, I know the answer.
“Yes. I am.”
“My name is Leann, I was in an abusive relationship for two years before I got out. I have been away from my ex-husband for seven months now.”
“I have been in an abusive relationship for ten years. I don’t know how to leave, we have children and he has all my money. I’m scared but with each of these meetings, I’m starting to see a way out. I finally told my mom about it all. She knew. It’s crazy, but she did and well, yeah, I’m gonna get out. I have to. Oh, and my name is Tabitha.”
“My name is Ellen, hi, I was being raped and abused by my boyfriend for six months before I left. After leaving him, I jumped into another relationship with another abuser, but that only lasted a couple months but when I left him, I ended up getting with another abuser. I finally left him and I have been single for almost a year now. I am learning to love myself. That I am worth the love of a good man who won’t raise his fist to me.”
“Hi, I’m Rena, I left my husband three weeks ago after four years of abuse. It’s been hard. He has begged me to come home but I won’t. He has come to the place I’m staying and physically tried to drag me out, but my brother stopped him. I’m thinking of moving to New York where my mother and father live. Not sure though. I have a great job in Nashville that I don’t want to leave.”