Let It Be Me

by Toni Aleo

  “I know but there is more.”

  “What?”

  “I love you. So much more than I did when I was with you and I think that’s because I learned to love myself and now I want to love you completely. I want to be with you, I’m tired of being apart and I never want to apart again.”

  He doesn’t say anything for a moment and my heart stops as I wait for his response. Finally, he says, “I want you to come home to me, now. I know you want to never be apart again, baby, but I really think we should wait until the divorce is final. Can you get away for a bit? Maybe just a weekend, until we figure out what we can do? Or maybe I’ll come there. I can’t describe the feelings that are coursing through me right now, but God, I want to see you, hold you. It’s been eight months too long and I’ve been waiting for the moment, but I want Rob completely gone first. What do you think? Do you want me to come there? I can leave Friday afternoon and stay till Monday, I don’t know. I’ll think of something, I just want to hold you.”

  I want that too, and I know he is waiting for me to answer him but I am frozen in fear. My eyes are wide, my heart is pounding and I can’t seem to catch my breath because a hand has come over my mouth. Finally my fear subsides and fight mode kicks in and I scream but then I watch as another hand takes my phone and slams it against the floor. I scream out again, slamming my elbows into the person’s ribs, but it’s as if it doesn’t affect them at all. As I struggle against him and slowly I began to freak out because I know the smell of the person that is holding me. I just can’t bring myself to identify him because that means he has found me and I am more than likely about to be killed.

  “Thought you could get away, huh?”

  Panic fills me and I know there is no point in me denying who it is, because Rob Moore is going to kill me, either way.

  So why deny anything?

  Slowly I blink my eyes, trying to focus. Lifting my head, I go to push my hair out of my face, but I can’t move my hands. I am tied to the chair I am in. My body is covered with sweat and I feel like I can’t breathe. Frantically, I look around the room and I think I’m at his house, but it’s empty of our furniture. The only reason I know this is his house is the counter still has all my cookbooks on them. I pull at my ties again but I can’t get my hands out and my heart is pounding so hard it hurts.

  What the hell am I going to do?

  Tears gather in my eyes and quickly roll down my cheeks and into my mouth. I am going through the options of getting out of this room while still pulling at the ties. I don’t understand how I got here? What did he give me, what did he do to me? I hurt everywhere and I don’t know why. I think that’s the scariest part. I have to get out of here. I have to get away. I can’t let this happen. Oh my God, I am so fucking scared.

  When I hear a whimper, I turn my neck as far as I can to see that I’m not alone in this room. A woman, maybe my age is in the corner with her dark hair covering her face. She is wearing a business suit but it is mostly covered with blood and when she looks up at me, I can see why. Her face is mangled. Oh god. Pulling at the ties harder, I get one of my hands free and I cry out in joy as I untie the other one. Quickly, I undo my legs and then I rush to the girl to help.

  “It’s okay, we’re going to get out of here.”

  She is crying and can only nod as I work on the ties that are holding her arms and legs together in a hog tie. When I get one of her hands free, her arms falls to the side and I can see her nametag. She works for the law firm that Tucker has hired for me and instantly, I feel horrible. It’s my fault she is here but why the hell would they send some girl to deliver papers to an abuser? They basically signed her death certificate!

  I can’t believe Rob did this. I don’t know what has made him do this but this is crazy. He didn’t love me. He didn’t want me, I wasn’t worth all this! Why hurt so many people? Why continue to hurt me? Why can’t he just let go? I don’t understand any of this and as this girl watches me untie her legs I feel horrible. I bet her mother is freaking out. She is probably calling everyone looking for her baby. How could this happen?

  I shake my head as I quickly untie her legs. My hands are shaking so hard but I still manage to do it. I reach out, trying to get her but she is hardly responsive. She looks horrible but I have to get her out of here. We have to go. Have too. Reaching for her arm, she cries out and I cringe. I reach for her again but before I can move her anymore, an explosion goes off and blood splatters against my face.

  I freeze.

  Slowly I blink as I look down at where the girl I was just trying to help has half of her face missing. I can see the remnants of her brain, her empty eye sockets, pieces of her teeth. It’s too much to take. I close my eyes as the nausea hits me and then I fall, my face hitting the ground hard before I succumb to the darkness.

  My head is pounding right along with my heart. Everything is blurry as I open my eyes to find Rob watching me. He is covered in blood, his eyes dark and his mouth is set in a hard line. My breathing picks up and instantly I start to pull at the restraints he has me in but I know there is no use in struggling. He has me and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. Taking in a strangled breath, a tear rolls down my face as I stay locked in his hate filled gaze. He lets out a long breath before running the tip of gun along his temple, still watching me.

  How did I get so involved with such a monster? I knew he was evil but I never expected him to be able to kill someone with no cares in the world. He is looking at me as if it’s just another day, not as if he had just blew the head off some innocent girl. I know I’m next and I am freaking out. I can’t get away. I’m going to die and there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing.

  He drops the gun from his temple and lays it in his lap before slowly clapping. The sound startles me and I jump, feeling as if my heart just stopped. With heavy lidded dark eyes, he stares at me before slowly shaking his head.

  “I applaud you for getting away and staying away for as long as you did.”

  I don’t say anything but my traitorous lip starts to wobble and I try to hold in my sob but I’m not sure I can. I am scared, so fucking scared and I don’t know what to say or do. When he stands, I start to struggle more as he moves towards me. I watch as he tucks the gun in the waist of his jeans before leaning into me, bracing his hands on the top of the chair, looking deep into my eyes.

  “But there is no use. You are mine, Violet. You aren’t going anywhere unless I say you can.”

  “How did you find me?”

  He smiles. “They sent that dumb bitch over and your address was on the paperwork. I had completely forgotten your grandfather’s house.”

  He looks at me, his head cock to the side as a sinister smile comes over his face. “Are you mad? Are you scared? Have anything to say?”

  “Fuck you,” I sneer.

  He laughs before shaking his head. “You’d like that, huh? Or what? Are you fucking that doctor? The same doctor that has been making my life a fucking hell hole? The one that got me fired from my job, the one that thinks I don’t know he is doing this all. The one keeping you away from me.”

  He looks at me for a moment as what he says registers in my head. Tucker got him fired? No wonder he looks like shit.

  When I don’t say anything, he screams, “he can’t fucking have you!”

  I know I should say anything but I can’t have him going after Tucker next. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh really? I heard you talking to him. You love him, you want him, you two have waited so long to be together and now is the time. Fuck him, he’ll get what is coming to him.”

  Panic fills me as my eyes go wide. “Rob, please, you have this all wrong. I left because you kept hurting me. I told you that. I don’t want to be with you anymore. It has nothing to do with Tucker or anyone else for that matter.”

  “Oh, do you mean your mom?” he asks with his mouth curved up. His hands are shaking, his eyes look crazed and I swear he looks so much different
. Like he is on drugs or something. Something is off and it has me on edge. What if he has my mom or even Tucker? Is he going to kill us all? Oh, God.

  “Rob, she didn’t know where I was, I never told her.”

  “Yeah, okay, she is a fucking liar too, just like you, but don’t worry, I’ll leave her alone cause she isn’t the one that took you away for me.”

  “No one took me away from you; I left.”

  He nods. “Is that right? Hm, okay,” he says and then he quickly pulls back, crashing his fist in my nose. I scream out, closing my eyes tight as lights go off behind my eyes. Pain rips through my head and the room is spinning. What is going on? Why is he doing this?

  “If you’re going to kill me, do it already.”

  When I open my eyes, he is looking at me, in the same position he was in before he hit me. “I’m not going to kill you. I’m going to make you love me and make sure you don’t go anywhere else. I will break you. You’re mine and you will realize that.”

  “I won’t ever love you, ever again,” I say as my blood drains down the back of my throat. Tears are rushing down my face, mixing with blood and ending up on my shirt and in my mouth but I don’t care. I can’t look away. He needs to know he can’t do this. “Let me go. You’re only going to make matters worse. Leave me alone, Rob, you don’t love me.”

  “I do!” he screams before crashing his mouth to mine. I try to get away but he is holding the back of my head, so with no other option, I bite down as hard as I can until I taste blood causing him to scream out before pulling away, holding his mouth. He glares, his hands shaking but then he is swinging back and slamming his fist across the side of my face. My head whips to the side and I cry out as the pain shoots to the back of my head. As my head hangs to the side, I listen as he moves away from me, and I slowly close my eyes.

  How am I going to get away?

  I thought I had it all figured it out. I thought I was done with him but here I am, getting the shit beat out of me. I was so close. So close to having the life I wanted but now that’s over. Rob has taken it back and he is going to kill me. When he reaches for my face, he lifts it up to look at me.

  “Do that again and I’ll blow your fucking head off.”

  I want to say ‘do it’ but I figure that wouldn’t be good. I also think that maybe I can get away but the chances of that happening are looking slim. My body is shaking and the pain is unbearable. I pull at the restraints again but he has made sure they’re really tight this time. I pull harder but they aren’t budging. My chest heaves and my tears roll faster down my cheeks as I continue to pull.

  “Stop, you won’t get out,” he says. “Not till I let you go.”

  I look up at him with pleading eyes. “Please let me go, this is crazy, just let me go. I will go and you’ll never see me again, I won’t tell a soul about the girl you killed, nothing. Please, just let me go.”

  I’m lying but it’s no use anyway, he laughs as he watches me.

  “I don’t care about that bitch and, hell no, you aren’t going anywhere. When it’s time to go, we’ll go together.”

  He’s delusional. That’s the only explanation I can give right now.

  Slowly, I shake my head. “Rob, I don’t want to go anywhere with you.”

  “I don’t care. You are mine and that’s final.”

  “No,” I say, tears gushing down my face. “I’m not, please let me go.”

  My wrists are burning from where I am trying to get them out of the restraints. It hurts so badly, but I can’t give up. I have to get out of them, I have to get away.

  “No. God, shut up, you aren’t going anywhere.”

  I close my eyes and continue to try to get my hands out. I hear him moving so I look up and watch as he moves towards where the girl lies. Tears cloud my vision. I hate what happened to her and I blame myself completely but the thing is, I don’t want to fucking die. I need to get out. I had too. Cringing, I try to pull my hands out but when I hear a trash bag, I look up to see him stuffing her into the bag. Ripping the bag and having to get another one to cover whatever part of her has torn the bag. It’s disgusting and I am gagging on my sobs.

  I don’t want to be the next one in the bag. I want to leave. I want to be happy. I want to be with Tucker. I want to love him and continue to love myself. I was so close, and I have to keep fighting. I can’t let him take anything else from me. Squeezing my eyes close tightly, I take in a deep breath and stop my movements. When the sounds of the bag being opened and closed stops, I open my eyes to see him looking at me.

  Rob’s eyes are dark as he watches me. I don’t know what I’m doing but I have to do something. “Do you need help?”

  He looks at me funny and shakes his head. “I’m done.”

  I nod as he walks to the sink to wash his hands. I continue to watch him as he cleans up and I hope what I’m about to do will work. When he reaches for a rag and wipes down his arms, I swallow loudly and then ask, “Rob, what do you want?”

  He looks over at me with a confused look. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, since I’m yours, I’m wondering what we’re doing. Like why am I still in restraints?”

  He scoffs. “‘Cause you’ll run.”

  “No, I won’t. I’ll stay for as long as you want me. Just please let me go, these things are hurting my wrist.”

  He laughs. “Do you think I’m stupid? Do you think I’ll fall for that? Shut the fuck up, okay? I gotta figure out how to get this bitch out of my house.”

  “I can help,” I say, trying anything to get out of these restraints. “Just untie me.”

  When he whips around, I cower back as much as I can in the chair as he screams, “No! Shut the fuck up!”

  The tears that were clouding my vision soon fall in heaps and I don’t know how the hell I’m going to get out of here alive. I watch as he stalks through the house, picking up things and all I can do is cry and wait. What else am I supposed to do? My wrists are burning, my face is throbbing but I know I can’t just sit here and wait to die or whatever else he is going to do to me.

  Even through the pain, I continue to work my wrist, hoping that something will give. It seem looser but I’m not sure if it’s actually working. I start doing the same with my feet, hoping to loosen something. Rob is paying me no attention as he moves through the house, doing whatever the hell he is doing. I have to get out.

  I have to.

  But before I can even try to do anything, a knock comes at the door and I freeze. Rob looks at the door and then at me, sliding his hand into his jeans to get his gun. Slowly, he walks to the door as the knocking continues. My heart is pounding just as hard as the person on the other side of the door is but I don’t know if I should scream or not. He could flip and shoot me, or the innocent person that is knocking on the door. My breathing is erect as I shake my arms, trying to get them out. It’s not working. All it’s doing is burning me more but I can’t give up.

  I can do this. I can push through the pain.

  Walking to the window, he looks out and I watch as his eyes go wide. My stomach falls and my heart constricts because I’m pretty sure I know who is on the other side of that door. Rob cuts his gaze to mine, his eyes full of nothing but hate and anger as he says, “it’s that fucking doctor.”

  I start gasping for breath as I look at the door and then back at him. He holds the gun up and slowly cocks it before reaching for the door.

  No. No. He can’t do this. Oh my God. No. He can’t kill Tucker.

  “Tucker! He has a gun! RUN!” I scream.

  Whipping his head back at me, he points the gun at me and yells, “You, stupid bitch!”

  I know this is it. I close my eyes tight, expecting the explosion of the gun but it never comes. I hear something hit the floor and when I open my eyes Tucker has Rob on the ground. Shaking my body I try to get out of the ties as Tucker throws a punch but as soon as he lands one, Rob is right back at him and my heart stops. Blood is dripping from Tucker’s mouth and the s
ight of his blood makes me weak. I am scared out of my mind but I have to help, I have to do something. When I feel something pop at my feet, the tension from the ties is gone and I kick my legs out before standing up and bringing the chair with me. Running backwards, I slam myself into the wall and it doesn’t do anything but send sharp pain up my arm.

  “Damn it!” I cry out as I try it again, ignoring the pain and this time it breaks. I cry out in relief as I detangle myself from the chair and see that my hand is turned in a way it shouldn’t be but I can’t worry about that now. I have to help Tucker. When I turn, holding my wrist in my hand, I can’t catch my breath at the sight I see. Rob has Tucker on the ground, holding him down with his hands at his neck and Tucker, my Tucker’s face is blue.

  “No!” I scream and I start for him, but I trip over something, falling straight on my wrist and face. It doesn’t stop me though, I go to get up and notice that Rob’s gun is right there by my face. Reaching for it with my right hand, I hold it up and squeeze the trigger without even thinking. The blast goes off, vibrating up my arm and I scream out.

  Silence.

  That’s all I hear. Opening my eyes, I look to see Rob laying on top of Tucker, blood spinning out of his neck onto the man I love.

  “No, Tucker. Tucker,” I cry as I close the distance between us. Pushing Rob off of him, I reach for him, holding him in my arms, ignoring the pain that is burning on every inch of my body. I have to save him like he has saved me but he isn’t breathing. I shake him, screaming out for help but no one is coming and he isn’t waking up, he isn’t looking at me. “Tucker, no,” I sob as I lay him down, searching his pockets for his phone. When I finally find it, I dial 911 as I cry. My head is spinning, the pain I am feeling in ruthless but I don’t care. I have to save him. He breathed a new life into me when I thought no one could. He saved me. He loved me. Now I have to save him because I will never love anyone but him. I owe him everything.