But there was something more, something powerful that swept through her and filled her with longing, with anticipation, with an unfulfilled need—like a song without an end. It coaxed her closer, enticed her, sang to her, and she reached for it willingly.
The connection was instantaneous. Adalynn shivered with delight. The sensation rushed through her like a sweeping orchestral crescendo, gaining in power until it suffused every inch of her body. She was aware of nothing except Merrick.
He groaned, tightening his hold on her hair with one hand while the other moved down her back. His fingers spread over the gentle curve of her lower spine, and he drew her against him, pressing her belly to the hard evidence of his want.
Adalynn moaned and slipped her arms around his neck, holding onto him as though he was all that kept her grounded, all that kept her from falling. But she was falling—into his kiss, his taste, his scent, his touch. Her body felt as though it were no longer hers.
With only a kiss, Merrick was consuming her.
Her body burned as lust surged through her. Her breasts were heavy, her nipples tight and aching, and her clothes felt too hot and restrictive, abrading her sensitive skin. All she wanted in that moment was to tear them off and feel his hands on her naked flesh. She was caught in a maelstrom of sensation, and she wanted to be lost in it forever.
Except…she didn’t have forever. She had months, maybe only weeks.
What am I doing?
Dropping her arms, she flattened her palms against his chest and pushed away from him, breaking the kiss. Merrick’s hold on her tightened for an instant, but he released her, allowing Adalynn to open some space between them. As soon as their connection was severed, as soon as those thrilling sensations halted and the strange energy he exuded no longer radiated directly into her, Adalynn felt…bereft. Like she was missing a part of herself.
“We shouldn’t have done that,” she said, panting softly as she reached up and touched her mouth. Her swollen lips tingled; it felt like he’d branded them with his searing kiss.
His tongue slipped out to slowly trail over his lips. “Why?”
Oh God, why is that one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen?
“You know why, Merrick.”
“All I know is that it felt right, Adalynn.”
It did. It felt so right. It felt perfect.
That didn’t change the fact that she was dying.
“We shouldn’t,” she said again.
Merrick frowned, and his nostrils flared with a heavy exhalation. “Do you plan to spend your last days denying yourself pleasure? Denying your desires? Denying life? This place is a chance for you to reach out and take whatever is within your grasp simply because you want to.”
Adalynn stared at him, throat tight, heart heavy.
Why now? Why, when the world had changed and her time was limited, did she have to find someone like him—a man who made her feel more alive than she’d ever felt before? A man whose voice made her shiver, whose gaze made her melt, whose touch set her body ablaze.
It was…unfair.
Why not give in to him? Why not give in to what she wanted, to what they both wanted? She was immensely drawn to Merrick. But could they keep their relationship purely physical? Could they keep themselves from forming a deeper, emotional connection?
Adalynn wasn’t sure she could.
What if he couldn’t? She already knew Danny would be devastated when she was gone, and she didn’t want to leave behind another person who’d be hurt by her inevitable passing.
“I need time to think,” she said, turning away from him and walking toward the piano. She pressed the Stop button on the cassette player, silencing the music. Picking the player up, she returned it to her pack and closed the zipper. She felt Merrick’s eyes on her back as she picked up her bag and stepped into her boots.
She looked at Merrick just as a flash of lightning lit the window behind him, turning him briefly into a shadowy, featureless figure—with two intense blue eyes. The effect faded quickly, and he was just Merrick again, frowning as he stared at her—but not visibly upset or angry.
Thunder rattled the windows.
“Whatever you require, Adalynn,” he said, “simply let me know.”
She hurried across the room, her boots thumping heavily on the floor, and paused in the doorway. “Thank you again, Merrick. For letting us stay.”
Merrick slipped his hands into his pockets and nodded. “It is my pleasure.”
But his eyes said, It could be your pleasure, as well.
She left him there. Whatever had transpired between them, she didn’t regret it. She would never regret the kiss they’d shared. Her only regret was that, no matter what she chose, there couldn’t be many more of those kisses in the future.
Chapter Seven
The storm thankfully broke on the seventh day—if it had continued any longer, Adalynn would have been driven to harm her brother. Being cooped up indoors was making him stir crazy. He chattered, he whined, and he hounded her endlessly to talk and play games with him, desperate for something to fill the time. And, of course, Adalynn often gave in to his demands.
Fortunately, Danny was self-aware enough to know he risked getting into trouble if he didn’t find productive ways to occupy himself. He understood that the food and shelter Merrick was providing were too important, that their situation was too good, for him to screw up because he was bored.
When he wasn’t pestering Adalynn, he’d often sought Merrick’s company. Sometimes he’d pace in front of the study, brimming with impatience, only to burst into a torrent of questions and banter with Merrick as soon as the man emerged. Danny had grown attached to Merrick fairly quickly, and Merrick, for all his potential gruffness, was patient with the boy—sometimes, he was almost fatherly.
Since they were officially living here, Danny had claimed the bedroom next to Adalynn’s. She was proud that he was establishing some independence—they’d been inseparable for six months, and she knew how much he suffered, how terrified he was when he woke from a nightmare in the dead of night. But she couldn’t help worrying about him. She’d taken comfort in his nearness, in knowing he was an arm’s length away. In knowing he was safe.
This morning, the sun had broken through the clouds for the first time in six full days, bringing a welcome reprieve from the storm. Adalynn had drawn the curtains after waking, sat on the edge of the bed, and basked in the golden sunlight streaming through the window. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been able to sit and enjoy the sun. It wasn’t merely a matter of the weather having shifted after the Sundering—most days were cloudy and gray, it seemed, though no less hot during the summer—but a matter of survival. It had been too dangerous to relax for so much as a moment, too dangerous to take pleasure even in these simple things.
During breakfast, Merrick had said, “It’s finally time for the idle teen to earn his keep.”
Danny—who’d been bouncing in his seat as though he were ready to leap out of it—had stilled, and a huge grin spread across his face.
Merrick expressed some disappointment; he’d hoped for dismay, for dragging feet, for complaints. Danny’s enthusiasm had thrown the man off. Adalynn had made no effort to hold in her laughter.
They’d donned rubber boots—much too large for Adalynn and Danny, but at least they’d be dry—and thick gloves, had gathered several baskets and various gardening tools, and exited the manor through the back door in the kitchen. She’d pulled her hair into a ponytail, and both she and Danny wore baseball caps to shield their faces from the sun. Adalynn had even taken out her bottle of slightly expired sunblock and slathered it over her and Danny’s exposed skin, much to the boy’s annoyance.
Now, Merrick was leading them toward the towering hedge wall that had seemed so dark and impenetrable when she’d looked out the back window that first night. It was overgrown and unkept, but in her mind’s eye she could picture how it must’ve looked while it had been neatly trimmed. Ev
erything out here had, at some point long ago, been as well-cared for as the interior of the manor was currently.
The outward appearance of Merrick’s home was intentional; she hadn’t asked him about it, but she knew it all the same. It looked run-down and abandoned to keep people away. In hindsight, Adalynn was glad they’d ignored her instincts when they found this place. This time, it had paid off.
Merrick led them through an arched opening in the hedge. Another tall wall of shrubbery stood before them. Was this a hedge maze? She supposed that was one way to keep Danny occupied for a while, but how would this be earning his keep?
But she understood when they rounded the first corner. Her eyes widened and her breath hitched as she looked out over the largest garden she’d ever seen. Neat rows of crops were planted in squared patches across the entire space—all contained within the high outer hedge walls of what must’ve been a maze in the past.
There were tomatoes, cucumbers, green beans, peas, corn, carrots, a variety of squashes, raspberries, blackberries, several types of peppers—including colorful bell peppers—a few fruit trees, and at least a dozen other things she couldn’t easily identify. Pipes and tubes ran in precise lines around and through the crops—irrigation, she realized after a moment. Even with the jars of home-canned goods in his pantry—all of which must’ve come from here—it seemed far too much for one person to ever eat.
“This is amazing,” Adalynn said.
Danny swept his awed gaze over the garden slowly. “It’s like a supermarket, but outside.”
“This is a garden, Daniel. The sort of place from which a market receives its goods,” Merrick said. “And you may now consider yourself a farmer.”
“I’m hungry just looking at it all.”
Adalynn laughed. “You’re always hungry. And you just ate.”
Danny grinned and rubbed his stomach before flexing his arms. “I’m a growing boy, sis. Gotta get my manly muscles somehow.”
Merrick snickered. “You need to have some muscles before they can become manly. You’ve a long way to go.” He placed the baskets he was carrying down on the muddy ground. All the vegetation glistened with droplets of moisture in the morning light.
“Hey! I have muscles!”
Adalynn picked up one of the baskets and thrust it into her brother’s arms. “Good. Then put them to use and start picking squash and cucumbers.”
Danny took hold of the basket’s handles and trudged away through the mud, muttering to himself about bossy older sisters. Adalynn watched him with a grin before bending to pick up a basket for herself.
“It looks like the raspberries are finally ripe,” Merrick said as he took up a basket and a three-pronged hand cultivator. “Would you please start there, Adalynn?”
Adalynn’s grin widened; she absolutely loved raspberries. “Oh, I don’t know. Only half of them might actually end up in the basket.”
“I’ll only allow that if you make sure Danny doesn’t see you. He’ll devour half the garden if he thinks he’s allowed to eat while he works.”
She laughed. “Deal.”
She made her way through the garden, around batches of peppers and rows of carrots, toward the fencing along which the berries grew. Her feet sank into the soft ground, and she had to battle the hungry mud’s pull each time she lifted a leg, being careful to ensure the oversized boots didn’t slide off. Still, she was glad she didn’t have to put her own boots through any more punishment today.
The raspberries stood out like clusters of rubies amongst the green leaves and vines, beckoning her. She picked the biggest, plumpest one, wiped it on her shirt, and popped it between her lips. Its juices burst across her tongue when she bit down.
Sooooo good.
She worked her way from one end of the long row of bushes to the other, selecting only the fully ripe berries and remaining mindful of the thorns throughout. Of course, she couldn’t avoid all the thorns, and ended up collecting a few minor scrapes on her arms, but her gloves protected her from the worst of it.
Most of the clouds dissipated as the day went on, and the sun shone hot and bright overhead. Danny and Merrick conversed as they worked. Adalynn glanced over her shoulder to see Merrick crouched down, working in the dirt. He lifted a mud-clumped root and showed it to Danny. The boy watched, attention rapt, hanging on Merrick’s every word as the man explained what the root was.
It was then that Adalynn knew Danny would thrive here. Merrick would teach him, guide him, and keep the boy safe.
Merrick would do what she couldn’t.
It was a bittersweet realization, but it was what Danny needed. Everything she’d done since the Sundering had been for him. They were here because of him.
“Well how am I supposed to know which ones are weeds?” Danny asked. “They’re all green.”
Even from several yards away, Adalynn saw Merrick roll his eyes.
“Because they are different than whatever is planted in that row. Really, Daniel, it isn’t complicated,” Merrick said.
“Just because you’re old with more worldly experience, doesn’t mean I’m dumb. Just means I’m inexperienced compared to you.”
“I did not say you were dumb, but you are being deliberately obtuse.”
“I don’t know what obtuse means, but you’re still old.”
Chuckling, Adalynn carried her berries over to the baskets Danny had filled with cucumbers and squash, setting her basket beside them. As she was bending down to retrieve an empty basket, a spike of pain—as sharp as an ice pick—hammered across her temples. It came and went in an instant, but that was more than enough time for her to halt, her body tensing. She held still for a moment to await the next wave of pain, but nothing came.
Maybe I just bent down too fast.
Once her tension eased, she grabbed the basket, slowly straightened, and started toward the tomatoes.
Danny jumped to his feet and hurried over to her, his brow furrowed. He extended his arms as though to take the basket from her. “Why don’t you take a break, Addy?”
She swung the basket out of his reach. “I’m fine, Danny. I want to help. I don’t want to sit around being useless.”
“You’re not useless, Addy, you’re sick.”
“I’m fine. Really. It’s been days since I’ve had a headache or any symptoms at all.” She glanced at Merrick.
He was staring at her with an indecipherable expression on his face, his eyes veiled. There was an almost guilty cast to his features; she couldn’t imagine why, couldn’t be sure if it was just her imagination.
“Take a break, Adalynn,” Merrick finally said. There seemed to be a hint of strain in his voice. “You, too, Daniel. There’s some water in one of the empty baskets. You’ve both been working hard, and it’s a hot morning.”
Though she knew Merrick was right, she couldn’t help but feel as though he was calling for a break only because of her; having Danny also stop was a way to lessen the blow. Merrick had been pulling weeds ceaselessly since they entered the garden—which felt like hours ago—and she’d not seen him stop or slow the entire time.
Adalynn and Danny sat on a stone bench in the shade of a pear tree. As soon as Adalynn allowed herself to relax, every one of her muscles protested; the longer she was still, the sorer her body felt. It was wonderful. She hadn’t pushed herself like this in so long—at least not by choice—and she’d forgotten what a good workout felt like. The dampness of sweat on her skin, the fire in her muscles, and the thumping of her heart were all the sweeter because she’d chosen to work, to contribute. The rush of having to flee or fight for one’s life was a wholly different experience—one she’d rather do without.
While she and Danny rested—mopping sweat from their faces, drinking from the water bottles, and nibbling on bits of their harvest—Adalynn found herself watching Merrick.
He wasn’t dressed like a man toiling in a garden—he wore black dress pants and a white button-down shirt, the sleeves rolled up to just above his elbows.
His hair was pulled back in a ponytail with loose strands hanging around his face. The strangest part, however, was that despite the smudges of dirt on his clothing and the tall rubber boots on his feet, he pulled off the outfit. He looked dignified.
Her eyes drifted to his strong forearms; toned muscles played beneath his skin as he worked.
He pulled off that look very well.
Danny elbowed her. It caught her so off guard that she nearly toppled backward off the bench and into the mud; she stopped herself only by extending her legs and digging her heels into the ground.
Once she’d regained her balance, Adalynn turned her head to glare at him. “What the hell, Danny?”
“You’re checking him out.”
A heat totally unrelated to the sun suffused her cheeks. “And?”
Danny’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “You’re not going to deny it?”
“No. Am I supposed to?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Why?”
Danny shrugged. “I don’t know, because you’re my sister, and I don’t need to see you checking guys out.” He glanced briefly at Merrick. “I’ve seen him check you out, too. You guys need to at least learn to be subtle about it.”
“We’re grown adults, Danny.” She raised the water bottle and took another drink.
Merrick hadn’t pressed her any further since their kiss in the ballroom. He was leaving the decision to her. But even if he hadn’t said anything directly, he’d not stopped flirting with her, hadn’t stopped looking at her with undisguised want in his eyes—the same way she looked at him when she thought he wasn’t looking.
Adalynn’s nights had become torturous; she’d lie in bed, replaying their kiss in her head, fantasizing about it going beyond that. It was harder and harder to resist him with each passing day.
He was just so…charming when he wanted to be. And seeing the interactions between Merrick and Danny…
“Isn’t he…old?” Danny asked.
Unable to hold back her laughter, Adalynn nearly choked on her mouthful of water. She swallowed it down and wiped her lips with the back of her arm. “He’s not that old.”
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