When Adalynn reached his bedroom door, she raised a fist and knocked. “Merrick? Are you okay?”
“Leave,” he said from inside the room.
“Please, come to the door.”
“I’m fine. Go back to bed, Adalynn.”
“No. Not until you talk to me.”
“Tomorrow. Go to bed.”
That’s it.
Grasping the door handle, she pressed the latch down, pushed the door open, and strode into the room without hesitation. “I’m not a child to be ordered to bed, Merrick.”
His bedroom was large and surprisingly open. A wide bed—king size, at least—stood against one wall, its headboard and footboard both made of thick, dark, carved wood. It was flanked by matching nightstands. Across from the foot of the bed was a grand fireplace with a large rug and two upholstered chairs set before it. A small fire crackled within the fireplace. Straight ahead stood a pair of tall glass doors that must’ve led to the balcony, and two more doors on either side of the fireplace likely belonged to a bathroom and a closet. A small writing desk—piled with books and papers—was in one corner; it was there Merrick sat with his back toward Adalynn.
He didn’t turn to look at her, but his voice carried clearly when he said, “I did not give you many rules to follow, Adalynn. Staying out of my study and my bedroom was the first of them.”
“I don’t care about your damn rules. I came to check on you. Danny said you were bleeding.”
“You are the one who had a spell. I’m fine, Adalynn. Good night.”
Adalynn remained in place, closing the door behind her. She clicked off her flashlight, tightening her grip on it, and crossed her arms over her chest.
Merrick’s posture stiffened. He placed his hands on the desk and sat up straight, turning his head slightly to look at Adalynn over his shoulder. “You should be resting now.”
She met his eyes. “Funny thing about that, I feel completely fine. As though I wasn’t just dying moments—no, hours—ago. What did you do, Merrick?”
He shoved away from the desk, stood up—toppling his chair over—and spun to face her. “Haven’t I given you enough? I helped you when I was not obligated to do so, and I am continuing to help you! What have I asked in return but some courtesy? Now do you mean to wrench every secret from my soul?”
She could feel power radiating from him, could feel it tingling over her skin, and realized now that she’d felt whispers of it from the moment they’d first met—though never this clear, this strong. Yet despite his anger, she didn’t fear that power. She didn’t fear him.
Adalynn remained where she stood, holding his gaze. “Then make us leave, Merrick. Why do you put up with us when all we’re doing is eating your food and intruding upon you?”
“What does it matter? You don’t have long.”
The words might as well have been a slap across her face; their sting caught her off guard. Adalynn flinched.
His brows, which had been slanted sharply in anger a moment before, leveled out and dropped low. A crease formed between them as the hard light in his eyes faded. His jaw muscles ticked, and he averted his gaze. His voice was raw when he said, “You’re still dying, Adalynn.”
The hurt from his words diminished that easily; he was angry and lashing out, but he wasn’t angry at her. It was the same sort of rage she’d seen in her family after her diagnosis—an anger born of helplessness, the anger of someone who was forced to watch her waste away knowing they could do nothing to save her.
“I’ve been dying,” she said gently. “I’ve known it and I accepted it a long time ago, Merrick. My only concern has been to find a place where Danny will be safe when I’m gone.” She lowered her arms to her sides and closed the distance between them. “You’re one of them, aren’t you? One of the…others.”
Only shame, resignation, and sorrow remained in his eyes when they met hers again. “I am not human.”
His confirmation didn’t change the way Adalynn felt about him.
“And you used something—magic?—to heal me twice now, didn’t you?” she asked.
“Yes. And I will use what power I possess to save you as many times as necessary.”
Her heart thumped, and warmth suffused her. His voice was hard with conviction and raw with deep emotion.
“But it does something to you, doesn’t it?” she asked. “Danny said you had blood dripping from your face.”
“A small price to pay.”
“But it’s not. It’s hurting you and it’s…I don’t know. I think it’s doing something to me.”
Merrick’s face paled, and he stepped closer to her. “What is it doing to you, Adalynn?”
Adalynn tilted her head back, frowning as she searched his eyes. “It’s like my body was making up for all those days that I’d felt good. The days I didn’t feel sick. Like I wasn’t really any better, and it was just building up, and when it hit a certain point it just burst. It really felt like this one was it, Merrick. Like it was the end.”
He lifted his hands and cupped her face between his palms. A faint blue light had sparked in his citrine eyes—and it wasn’t a reflection of the firelight. “I am going to keep you safe here, Adalynn. And I am going to find a way to stop it. To truly heal you.”
Tears stung her eyes and blurred her vision. She blinked them away and smiled softly. Raising a hand, she settled it on his jaw and brushed her thumb over his cheek. The short bristles of his beard tickled her palm. “Thank you for telling me the truth about you, Merrick…but no.”
Confusion contorted his expression. “No? What do you mean no?”
“It’s hurting you, and that’s a price I’m not willing to pay. We don’t know how bad it will get, but this time was enough to prove that it will get worse. No, Merrick. I accepted my fate. Knowing that Danny has a place here, with you, that he’ll be safe, will let me go on in peace.” Warm tears continued to stream down her cheeks, gathering on his hands. “I just want to live the rest of my life in happiness here, too.”
The crease reappeared between his eyebrows, deeper and more worried than before. He shifted one of his hands back, combing her hair behind her ear and trailing his fingertips along her scalp. “I will take that suffering if it spares you, Adalynn. I want you to have decades of happiness. Not mere weeks or days.”
There seemed to be more he wanted to say, Adalynn could hear it in the roughness of his voice, could see it in the gleam of his eyes, but he left those words unspoken.
She shook her head and took a step back, lowering her hand from his face and pulling gently out of his hold. “I can’t have you suffering because of me.”
“That’s not your choice to make.”
“But it is. If you can tell me it won’t hurt you, that there’s no risk of harming yourself, that there will be no lasting effects on you, if you can swear that to me, I’ll agree.”
He clenched his jaw and, after a few seconds, lowered his gaze again, shoulders sagging. “I have to try, Adalynn.”
She smiled sadly. “Thank you for giving me a little more time. Goodnight, Merrick.”
Adalynn turned and walked to the door before he could say anything more. She opened it and slipped out into the hall, closing it softly behind her. Her chest was tight, and she was on the verge of breaking down into sobs, but she held them back with deep, slow breaths.
After the Sundering had taken her one chance at beating her illness, Adalynn had accepted her fate. She’d accepted that her time was limited. Had accepted that she was dying.
Why was it becoming harder to accept as time went on?
Because of Merrick.
She didn’t know how it had happened so quickly, but she had feelings for the man—feelings that ran deeper than should’ve been possible after only a week. Somewhere in her heart, she felt like she’d known him her whole life. And it was obvious that he felt something for her, too. Why else would he endure so much to help her? Why else would he harm himself to ease her suffering?
&nb
sp; They were two lonely people drawn together in a dark, chaotic world. Why wouldn’t they seek comfort in each other? Why wouldn’t they give in to their mutual desire? It was too late not to get involved with him, and there was no reason for Adalynn to tell herself no.
She sniffled, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and clicked on the flashlight before pushing away from Merrick’s door. She forced herself down the hallway.
I’m not holding back anymore.
Adalynn didn’t know how much time she had left, but she was going to live it. She would live it with Danny, with Merrick, and take whatever happiness she could grasp. She was going to live wholeheartedly until the end.
She was going to love.
When she returned to her room, Danny was sitting on the bed, wide awake.
“Did you see him?” Danny asked.
Adalynn closed the door and approached him. “Yeah, I did.”
“And? Is he okay? Are you okay? What happened, what did he say?”
She turned off the flashlight, set it on the nightstand, and sat down beside Danny. “He’s fine. I didn’t see any blood, but he probably cleaned himself up already. I’m fine too. We…talked.”
“Come on, Addy, you gotta give me more than that!”
She turned her head to meet Danny’s gaze. “You understand Merrick won’t hurt us, right? You trust him?”
There was conflict in his eyes, which flickered with soft reflected light from the candle. He opened his mouth, hesitated, and asked, “Do you trust him?”
“Yes.” She reached out and took his hand. “And you know what I want most is for you to be safe, don’t you?”
He nodded, frowning.
“I trust Merrick, Danny. I trust him to keep you safe, to teach you, to help you grow.” She gave Danny’s hand a squeeze. “He’s not human, but he won’t hurt you. Won’t hurt us. Do you understand, Danny?”
Her brother’s eyes flared for a moment, but he nodded again. “If you trust him, then so do I.” He smiled. “I like him, anyway. He can be a hardass, but he’s actually a pretty cool guy. And he helped you.”
Adalynn returned the smile. “Yeah, he did.”
For a little while.
“And what did I say about the cussing?” she asked, arching a brow.
Danny sighed dramatically. “Don’t know why it matters.”
If their parents were still around, Danny would’ve been grounded long ago—their mother had been a wonderful, caring woman, but she wouldn’t have accepted the end of the world as a valid excuse to break her no-swearing rule. It was Adalynn’s instinct to remind Danny of that…but what would it change? Mom and Dad were gone, the world was different, and Danny was growing up much faster than he should’ve had to.
“Maybe it doesn’t,” she replied.
“Does that mean I can cuss?” he asked hopefully.
Adalynn grinned. “I’ll think about it.”
“Aww, come on.”
She laughed—probably harder than was warranted, but it felt good—and was reminded when she inhaled afterward that she still smelled like vomit. She cringed.
And Merrick was standing right in front of me, was touching me.
It was embarrassing, but it meant he’d seen her at her worst—at least the worst it could get without her dying—and still wanted her. If anything, her sickness only seemed to drive him on harder.
“I’m going to take a quick bath, okay?” Adalynn said. “We should get some sleep while it’s still dark.”
“Okay. Addy?”
“Hmm?”
He ran his hands over the top of the blanket. “Can I sleep in here with you tonight?”
Adalynn smiled and leaned toward her brother, hugging him. “Yeah. You can.”
He hugged her back tightly. “Thanks.” He sniffled. “And Addy?”
“What?”
“You do stink.”
Adalynn pulled away from Danny and laughed, shoving him down onto the bed. “Go to sleep. I’ll be back.”
Danny laughed and wriggled his way under the covers. “Love you, sis.”
“Love you too, Danny.”
Chapter Nine
That morning, Adalynn woke alone. She wandered the house, calling for Danny and Merrick and receiving no answer; the place was empty. Guessing they’d gone to the garden to continue their work from the day before, she ate a quick breakfast, tugged on her mud-caked rubber boots, and headed outside to join them.
Her hunch proved correct; Merrick and Danny were tending the crops beneath an already hot morning sun.
And the moment they saw her, they insisted she return to the house.
No amount of arguing would sway them. They were adamant that Adalynn not overwork herself so soon after an attack. Danny was on the verge of tears—such a cheat!—while Merrick threatened to tie her to the bed.
Merrick’s threat might not have sounded so bad if she knew he would’ve stayed with her in that bed. But his expression and tone had told her both that he’d intended no sensual innuendo and he wasn’t afraid to fulfill the threat. He would have carried her to her bedroom, strapped her to the bedposts, and gone back to work without a second thought.
Rightfully pissed at them, Adalynn turned and stormed back toward the house. She stomped up the steps onto the back porch, kicked off her boots—taking petty satisfaction in their heavy thumps against the wall—and continued into the kitchen through the back door. She slammed the door behind her.
Once inside, she folded her arms across her chest and seethed.
I’m supposed to be living right now. Not…not…not being treated like an invalid.
They’re just worried about me.
The thought diffused some of her anger. What if working in the garden yesterday had triggered her attack? Maybe it had just been time; she’d certainly felt overdue for an episode after a week of feeling so good. If Merrick had used magic to suppress her symptoms, maybe it had simply…worn off.
Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath and released it slowly.
It’s still my choice. I don’t want to worry them, but they need to respect that.
Adalynn opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling.
“I’ll just have to find something else to do, then,” she muttered. She swung her gaze around the kitchen. “Like clean this already spotless house.”
She washed the few dirty dishes in the sink and wiped down the dustless counters before stopping herself. It was pointless, and she was bored. It wouldn’t have surprised her if Merrick used magic to keep the house clean.
I could march back out there and tell them I’m helping and that’s that.
She could, but Merrick had been serious about his threat. It would only end up with her more bored, restless, and angry.
With nothing else to do, Adalynn took a long, hot bath, and read her favorite romance book—which also happened to be the only one currently in her possession—while she soaked.
The heat and steam soothed her, and reading allowed her some semblance of an escape from her frustration, her sickness, and this broken world—but not from her desire. She couldn’t help but think about Merrick when she came to the first sex scene. Soon, all she could focus on was the memory of his hands on her skin, of the feel of his lips against hers, of his masculine scent.
The book quickly lost its appeal; she tossed it onto the floor near her bag, closed her eyes, and slipped her hand between her thighs.
Her self-induced orgasm came swiftly, but it left her feeling unsatisfied, hollow, and lonelier than before.
After her bath, Adalynn dressed and brushed her hair, leaving it hanging freely around her shoulders. She slipped her book into her bag, which she returned to her room before wandering around the house again. She took her time examining the rooms and the objects within them, moving pictures and tugging on light fixtures to see if there were any hidden compartments or secret passages. Why wouldn’t there be? This was a big, old house; it was bound to have as many secrets as its own
er, wasn’t it?
Her search turned up nothing exciting, but at least it had distracted her currently overactive imagination for a little while. She forced herself to press onward.
She paused when she reached the entrance of the ballroom; the double doors were closed today. She flung them open and stepped through. As usual, all the curtains were closed, blanketing the large chamber in thick gloom.
Time to change that.
Shutting the doors behind her, she strode across the dancefloor and went from window to window, drawing the curtains wide. With each window, more sunlight streamed inside; soon the whole ballroom was gleaming with it. Rays of sunshine struck the chandeliers’ crystals, casting countless tiny, colorful points of reflected light on the polished wood of the floor, walls, and ceiling.
Adalynn hummed softly as she moved about the room, sometimes walking, sometimes dancing.
I should teach Danny to dance.
Even if it was the end of the world, even if it wasn’t a practical skill, there was no reason not to teach him; people still needed to enjoy themselves from time to time. People still needed small, brief means of escape from the stresses of this new world.
When she reached the stage, she climbed up and sat on the piano bench. The fallboard was upright. She skimmed her fingertips over the keys, too lightly to produce any sound, and found herself overcome with an indefinable sense of sadness.
No, no sadness. I’m living, right?
She pressed down on a few keys.
The notes were strong, resonant, and in tune.
“What?”
Startled, Adalynn moved her other hand up to the keys and played a few bars of River Flows in You. Though her fingers felt stiff and a bit clumsy after so long, the music flowed from her, the notes crisp and perfect.
Merrick. He’d done this. For her?
She brimmed with excitement, and joyful tears welled in her eyes. She clasped her hands together and lifted them to her chest, which was tight with overwhelming emotions. It’d been months since she last played, and she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed it, hadn’t realized how big a hole its absence had left inside her, until this moment. Music—especially piano—had been the core of her life since that first time her father played her Moonlight Sonata.
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