17 - Why I'm Afraid of Bees

by R. L. Stine

  WHY I’M AFRAID

  OF BEES

  Goosebumps - 17

  R.L. Stine

  (An Undead Scan v1.5)

  1

  If you’re afraid of bees, I have to warn you—there are a lot of bees in this story. In fact, there are hundreds.

  Up until last month, I was afraid of bees. And when you read this story, you’ll see why.

  It all started in July when I heard a frightening buzz, the buzz of a bee.

  I sat up straight and searched all around. But I couldn’t see any bees anywhere. The scary buzzing sound just wouldn’t stop. In fact, it seemed to be getting louder.

  “It’s probably Andretti again,” I told myself. “Ruining my day, as usual.”

  I’d been reading a stack of comic books under the big maple tree in my back yard. Other kids might have better things to do on a hot, sticky summer afternoon—like maybe going to the pool with their friends.

  But not me. My name is Gary Lutz, and I have to be honest. I don’t have many real close friends. Even my nine-year-old sister, Krissy, doesn’t like me very much. My life is the pits.

  “Why is that?” I constantly ask myself. “What exactly is wrong with me? Why do all the kids call me names like Lutz the Klutz? Why does everybody always make fun of me?”

  Sometimes I think it might be because of the way I look. That morning, I’d spent a long time studying myself in the mirror. I’d stared at myself for at least half an hour.

  I saw a long, skinny face, a medium-sized nose, and straight blond hair. Not exactly handsome, but not terrible.

  Bzzzzzz.

  I can’t stand that sound! And it was coming even closer.

  I flopped over on my stomach. Then I peered around the side of the maple tree. I wanted to get a better view of my neighbor’s yard.

  Oh, no, I thought. I was right. The buzzing sound was coming from Mr. Andretti’s bees. My neighbor was at it again. He was always hanging out in the back by his garage, messing with those bees of his.

  How could he handle them every day without worrying about getting stung? I asked myself. Didn’t they give him the creeps?

  I climbed to my knees and edged a few inches forward. Even though I wanted to get a better look at Mr. Andretti, I didn’t want him to see me.

  The last time he caught me watching him, he made a big deal out of it. He acted as if there were some kind of law against sitting outside in your own back yard!

  “What’s this?” he bellowed at the top of his lungs. “Did someone start a neighborhood watch committee without informing me? Or is the FBI recruiting ten-year-old spies these days?”

  This last remark really steamed me, because Mr. Andretti knows perfectly well that I’m twelve years old. After all, my family has lived next door to him for my entire life. Which is bad luck for me. Mainly since I’m afraid of bees.

  I might as well confess it right away. I’m scared of a few other things, too, such as: dogs, big mean kids, the dark, loud noises, and swimming in the ocean. I’m even scared of Claus. That’s Krissy’s dumb cat.

  But, most of all, I’m scared of bees. Unfortunately, with a beekeeper for a neighbor, there are always bees around. Hairy, crawly, buzzing, stinging bees.

  “Meow!”

  I jumped up as Claus the cat came creeping up behind me. “Why do you have to stalk me like that?” I cried.

  As I spoke, Claus moved forward and wrapped himself around my leg. Then he dug his long, needle-sharp claws into my skin.

  “Ouch!” I screamed. “Get away from me!” I cannot understand how Krissy can love that creature so much. She says he only jumps on me because he “likes” me. Well, all I can say is that I don’t like him! And I wish he would keep away from me!

  When I finally managed to chase Claus away, I went back to studying my neighbor. Yes, I’m scared of bees. And I’m fascinated by them, too.

  I can’t seem to stop watching Mr. Andretti all the time. At least he keeps his hives in a screened-in area behind his garage. That makes me feel pretty safe. And he acts as if he knows what he’s doing. In fact, he acts as if he’s the world’s greatest living expert on bees!

  Today, Mr. Andretti was wearing his usual bee outfit. It’s a white suit, and a hat with a wire-screen veil hanging down to protect his face. His clothes are tied with string at the wrists and ankles. He looks just like some kind of alien creature out of a horror movie.

  As my neighbor carefully opened and closed the drawerlike sections of his hanging hives, I noticed he wasn’t wearing any gloves.

  Once, when I was with my dad, Mr. Andretti had explained this to us. “It’s like this, Lutz,” he said. Lutz is my father, Ken Lutz. Naturally, during this entire conversation, Mr. Andretti had acted as if I wasn’t even there.

  “Your average beekeepers usually wear gloves,” he explained. “A lot of the brave ones use gloves with no fingers and thumbs so they can work with the bees more easily.”

  Mr. Andretti thumped himself on the chest and went on. “But your truly outstanding beekeeper—such as myself—likes to work with his bare hands. My bees trust me. You know, Lutz, bees are really a lot smarter than most people realize.”

  Oh, sure, I said to myself at the time. If they’re really so smart, why do they keep coming back to your hive and letting you steal all their honey from them?

  Bzzzzzz.

  The humming from Mr. Andretti’s hives suddenly grew louder and more threatening. I stood up and walked over to the fence between our two back yards. I gazed into the screened-in area to see what was going on.

  Then I gasped out loud.

  Mr. Andretti’s white suit didn’t appear white anymore. It had become black!

  Why? Because he was totally covered with bees!

  As I stared, more and more of the insects oozed out of their hives. They crawled all over Mr. Andretti’s arms and chest, and even on his head.

  I was so grossed out, I thought I might puke!

  Mr. Andretti’s hat and veil shimmered and bulged as if they were alive!

  Wasn’t he scared of all those stingers?

  As I leaned over the fence, Andretti suddenly yelled at me: “Gary—look out!”

  I froze. “Huh?”

  “The bees!” Mr. Andretti screamed. “They’re out of control! Run!”

  2

  I never ran so fast in my life! I charged across the yard and stumbled up the back steps of my house.

  I flung open the screen door and almost fell into the house. Then I stopped and leaned against the kitchen table, gasping for air.

  When I finally caught my breath, I listened hard. I could still hear the angry buzzing of the bees from the next yard. Then I heard something else.

  “Haw haw haw!”

  Somebody was laughing out there. And it sounded suspiciously like Mr. Andretti.

  Slowly, I turned around and peered out through the screen door. My neighbor was standing at the bottom of the back steps. He’d taken off his bee veil, and I could see that he had a huge grin on his face.

  “Haw haw! You should have seen the expression on your face, Gary. You never would believe how funny you looked! And the way you ran!”

  I stared at him. “You mean your bees weren’t escaping?”

  Mr. Andretti slapped his knee. “Of course they weren’t! I have complete control of those bees at all times. They come and go, bringing nectar and pollen back from the flowers.”

  He paused to wipe some sweat off his forehead. “Of course, sometimes I have to go out and recapture a few lost bees with my net. But most of them know my hives are really the best home they can possibly have!”

  “So this was all a joke, Mr. Andretti?” I tried to sound angry. But that’s hard to do when your voice is
shaking even harder than your knees! “It was supposed to be funny?”

  “I guess that’ll teach you to get a life and stop staring at me all day!” he replied. Then he turned and walked away.

  I was so angry! What a mean trick!

  It was bad enough having kids my age pick on me all the time. But now the grown-ups were starting in!

  I pounded my fist on the kitchen table just as my mother walked into the room. “Hi, Gary,” she said, frowning. “Try not to destroy the furniture, okay? I was just about to make myself a sandwich. Would you like one?”

  “I guess so,” I muttered, sitting down at the table.

  “Would you like the usual?”

  I nodded. “The usual” was peanut butter and jelly, which I never get tired of. For a snack, I usually like taco chips, the spicier the better. As I waited for my sandwich, I ripped open a new bag of chips and started chewing away.

  “Uh-oh.” Mom was rummaging through the refrigerator. “I’m afraid we’re out of jelly. Guess we’ll have to use something else.”

  She pulled out a small glass jar. “How about this with your peanut butter?”

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “Honey.”

  “Honey!” I shrieked. “No way!”

  Later, I was feeling lonely. I wandered over to the school playground. As I walked by the swing set, I saw a bunch of kids I knew from school.

  They were standing around on the softball diamond, choosing up sides for a game. I joined them. Maybe, just maybe, they’d let me play.

  “Gail and I are captains,” a boy named Louie was saying.

  I walked over and stood at the edge of the group. I was just in time.

  One by one, Louie and Gail picked players for their teams. Every kid was chosen. Every kid except one, that is. I was left standing by myself next to home plate.

  As I slumped my shoulders and stared down at the ground, the captains starting fighting over me. “You take him, Gail,” Louie said.

  “No. You take him.”

  “No fair. I always get stuck with Lutz!”

  As the two captains argued over who was going to be stuck with me, I could feel my face getting redder and redder. I wanted to leave. But then they all would have said I was a quitter.

  Finally, Gail sighed and rolled her eyes. “Oh, all right,” she said. “We’ll take him. But remember the special Lutz rule. He gets four strikes before he’s out!”

  I swallowed hard and followed my teammates out onto the diamond. At that point, luck was with me. Gail sent me to the outfield.

  “Go way out in right, Lutz,” Gail ordered. “By the back fence. Nobody ever hits it out there.”

  Some kids might be angry about being stuck so far away from the action. But I was grateful. If no balls were hit to me, I wouldn’t have a chance to drop them the way I always did.

  As I watched the game, my stomach slowly tied itself into a tight knot. I was last in the batting order. But when my turn at the plate finally came around, the bases were loaded.

  I picked up the bat and wandered out toward the plate. A groan rose up from my teammates. “Lutz is up?” somebody cried in disbelief.

  “Easy out!” yelled the girl playing first base. “No batter, no batter, no batter!” Everyone on the other team hooted and laughed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gail put her face in her hands.

  I ground my teeth together and started praying. Please let me get a walk. Please let me get a walk. I knew I could never hit the ball. So a walk was my one and only hope.

  Of course I struck out.

  Four straight strikes.

  “Lutz the Klutz!” I heard someone cry. Then a lot of kids laughed.

  Without looking back, I marched off the baseball diamond and away from the playground. I was heading home toward the peace and quiet of my own room. It might not be perfect, I thought. But at least at home no one teased me about being a klutz.

  “Hey, look, guys!” a voice shouted as I turned onto my street.

  “Hey—wow—it’s Lutz the Klutz!” someone else answered.

  “Lookin’ good, dude!”

  I couldn’t believe my bad luck. The three voices belonged to the biggest, meanest, toughest creeps in the entire neighborhood—Barry, Marv, and Karl. They’re my age, but at least five times as big!

  These guys are gorillas! I mean, their knuckles drag on the sidewalk!

  And when they’re not swinging back and forth on a tire swing in their gorilla cage, what’s their favorite activity?

  You guessed it. Beating me up!

  “Give me a break, guys,” I pleaded. “I’m having a bad day.”

  They laughed.

  “You want a break, Lutz?” one of them shouted menacingly. “Here!”

  I only had time to blink as I watched a huge, mean-looking fist heading right for my nose.

  3

  A long, painful ten minutes later, I walked through the back door of my house. Fortunately, my mom was somewhere upstairs. She didn’t see my bloody nose, scratched, bruised arms, and torn shirt.

  All I needed was for her to start fussing over me and threatening to call the other boys’ parents. If that happened, Barry, Marv, and Karl really would kill me the next time they saw me.

  As I crept up the stairs, Claus the cat came leaping out at me.

  “Yowl!”

  “Whoooooa!” I was so shocked, I almost fell back down the stairs. “Get away from me, you monster!”

  I pushed the cat away and hurried down the hall to the bathroom. I gazed into the mirror and almost heaved. I looked like road kill!

  I rinsed off my nose with ice-cold water. Then I cleaned off all the blood and staggered to my room.

  I took off my ripped-up T-shirt and hid it behind my bed. Then I put on a winter shirt with long sleeves. It would be hot, but it would hide my scratched arms.

  Downstairs in the kitchen, I found Mom and Krissy. Mom was getting out mixing bowls and eggs, and Krissy was tying a big apron around her waist. As usual, Claus was purring and wrapping himself around Krissy’s legs. Why did he act like such an innocent little kitten around her, and such a monster around me?

  “Hi, Gary,” my mom said to me. “You want to help us make peanut butter cookies?”

  “No, thanks,” I said. “But I’ll lick the bowl for you later.” I walked over to the table and picked up the bag of taco chips I’d left there before.

  “Well, at least you can help by getting that new jar of peanut butter out of the cupboard and opening it for me,” Mom said. “This recipe calls for a lot of peanut butter.”

  “Sounds good,” I said. “Just so long as it doesn’t have any honey in it.”

  I opened the cupboard door and took out the peanut butter. I tried to twist off the cap. I twisted as hard as I could, but the top just wouldn’t move. I banged the jar on the countertop and tried again. Still no luck.

  “Do you have a wrench or something around, Mom?” I asked. “This thing just won’t budge.”

  “Maybe if you ran hot water on it,” my mother began.

  “Oh, puh-lease!” Krissy said with a snort. Wiping her hands on her apron, she crossed the room and grabbed the jar away from me.

  With two fingers, she twisted off the cap.

  Then she started laughing her head off. My mom started laughing, too.

  Can you believe it? My own mother was laughing at me!

  “I guess you forgot to eat your oat bran this morning,” Mom said.

  “I’m leaving,” I muttered to Mom and Krissy. “Forever.”

  The two of them were laughing together. I don’t think they even heard me.

  Totally miserable, I stepped out the front door and slammed it hard behind me. I decided to ride my bike around the block a few times. When I went around to the side of the house and got it out of the garage, I started to cheer up a little bit.

  My bike is really awesome. It’s a new, blue, twenty-one speed, and it’s real sleek and cool. My dad gave it to me for my twelfth
birthday.

  I jumped on my bike and headed down the driveway. As I turned onto the street, I saw some girls walking down the sidewalk. Out of the corner of my eye, I recognized them.

  Wow! I thought. It’s Judy Donner and Kaitlyn Davis!

  Both Judy and Kaitlyn go to my school. They’re really pretty and very popular.

  To be honest, I’ve had a major crush on Judy since the fourth grade. And once, at the fifth-grade picnic, she actually smiled at me. At least, I think it was at me.

  So when I saw those girls walking down the street, I decided it was a good time to try to be really cool.

  I flipped my baseball cap around so the brim was at the back of my head. Then I folded my arms across my chest and started pedaling no-handed.

  As I passed them, I glanced over my shoulder and flashed my most glamorous smile at Judy and Kaitlyn.

  Before my beautiful smile faded, I felt a tug at my sneaker. I realized instantly that my shoelace was caught in the chain!

  A horrible grinding sound filled the air. The bike jerked and lurched from side to side—and I lost control!

  “Gary—!” I heard Judy shriek. “Gary—look out for that car!”

  4

  CRAAAAAAACK.

  I didn’t see the lamppost until I hit it.

  As I toppled off my bike and shot sideways through the air, I heard the sound of metal crumpling, ripping, and shredding.

  I landed on my face in a deep, warm puddle of mud.

  I heard the car rumble past me.

  Slowly, I pulled my face out of the mud.

  Guess I didn’t look too cool, I thought bitterly. Maybe at least I’ll get a little sympathy.

  No way.

  I could hear Judy and Kaitlyn laughing behind me on the sidewalk. “Nice bike, Gary!” one of them called. They hurried away.

  I had never been so humiliated in all my life. If I could have, I would have put down roots in that mud puddle and turned myself into a tree. It might not be the most exciting life in the world. But at least no one laughs at a tree.

  I’m serious. At that moment, I would have happily traded lives with a tree. Or a bird. Or a bug. Or just about any other living object on the planet.