by Ni-Ni Simone
“What do you mean mess this up for us?” I snapped. “He was my boyfriend, what the hell are you crying for?”
“I live through your love life and this is not the ending I had in mind. You have to call him and get him back. We ’spose to graduate from Howard and have us a li’l girl named Shaquita in a few years. Don’t do this, Zsa. Don’t end my life like this.” He started crying again. “You were wrong, Zsa-Zsa. Oh, Lord, oh, Lord.”
“Okay, you know what,” I said, “I gotta go. You trippin’.”
I quickly dialed Malachi’s cell phone number and prayed that he answered. After a few rings he picked up. “Yeah, what?”
“Look, before you say anything,” I said in a hurry, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hide anything from you or to disrespect you. I love you, you know that, and I would never do anything intentionally to hurt you.”
Malachi sighed. “You are a lot of work, Zsa. For real. I don’t know what I’ma do with you.”
“Love me.” I gave a fake laugh, and when he didn’t respond I said, “Pretty please.”
Malachi laughed. “This is the second time I’m telling you this, but let that stunt you pulled be the last one.”
“It won’t happen again. I promise. So are you coming back?”
“Open the door,” he said, “I’m already outside.”
19
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday…
—BOYZ II MEN, “IT’S SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE TO YESTERDAY”
“Zsa, peep these shoes,” Asha said as we browsed Neiman Marcus’s shoe collection.
“Those are hot,” I said, pointing at the pair of three-inch canary yellow stilettos she was holding. “How much?”
“Eight nine,” she said.
“Oh, I want those,” I said in glee. I swear, whenever I bought shoes it made me feel like it was Christmas all over again.
“I’m getting me some too,” Asha said, “but I want the lime green ones.”
We paid for the shoes and afterward we headed to the food court. Once we grabbed two orders of Bourbon chicken we sat at a small table in the center of the floor where we could see all the action. “Wait, Zsa, is that Jamil from school?” Asha asked.
“Umm-hmm,” I said, “but that girl ain’t his girl.”
“Hot mess.” She laughed.
“So,” I said, “wassup with you and Samaad?”
“I love him so much.” She blushed.
“I know.” I smiled. “How did we end up with the perfect boyfriends, who are also cousins? Then that means our kids gon’ be cousins too.”
“Yop,” Asha agreed, “and if we don’t like our in-laws we’ll always have each other to talk to.”
We both cracked up.
“But I tell you what,” she continued, “it will not be any kids anytime soon.”
“Why do you say that?” I sipped my soda.
“’Cause.”
“’Cause what? What you and Samaad not gettin’ down like that?”
“Not yet.”
“Why?” I curled my lip in surprise. “You’re not a virgin.”
“So, that doesn’t mean that I wanna be in the sheets with every cat I meet. I’m just not feeling that, so we find other things to do. So what about you and Malachi?”
I shook my head. “Nothing’s happenin’, captain.”
She laughed. “We could always get a job and occupy ourselves.”
“When you fill out the application let me know, otherwise the check I get from my father’s death benefits and what my mom hits me off with will suffice,” I said.
“Whatever, you are so irresponsible. I’ma get me a job this summer. I have too much time on my hands.”
“Asha, your daddy is a councilman.”
“Exactly, so getting a job should be easy.”
Asha was a mess. “Girl,” I said as my cell phone rang, “did you see Courtney’s Facebook page?” I looked at the caller ID and the number was restricted. This pissed me off because again it could be a thousand different people. A handful of which I didn’t want to talk to. Forget it. I pressed the talk button, took a chance, and answered. “You rang?”
No one responded, but I could tell that someone was there because I could hear them breathing, and if I’m not mistaken it sounded as if they were crying. “Hello?” I paused. “Hello?”
Silence.
“Okay,” I said into the phone, “I’ma hang up.”
“Zsa.” It was a hysterical male voice but I couldn’t make out who it was. All I could tell is that they were in tears.
“Who is this?” I asked.
“Ameen.”
“Ameen,” I said, surprised. “Why are you calling me crying?”
“Hang up on him,” Asha said. “Now.”
“Wait,” I mumbled. “Let me find out why he’s crying.”
“Don’t be stupid, Zsa,” she said.
“What, Ameen?” I snapped into the phone.
“Zsa, my mother died,” he said.
My eyes practically bugged out of my head. I couldn’t believe that. “Asha,” I whispered, “his mother died.”
“Okay,” she said. “Give him your condolences and hang up on him.”
“I can’t do that,” I said to her. “He really loved his mother.”
“And your mother loved you when he left you in the park and beat up on the ground.”
I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Asha. “Ameen”—I returned my attention to the phone—“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Man, you know she got sick all of a sudden.” He sniffed. “But I didn’t expect her to die. You know she really liked you, Zsa.”
I didn’t know what to say to that so I didn’t respond.
“She really did.” He carried on. “Her wake is tonight at seven at Cottons. Ai’ight, Zsa. I’ma get up.” And he hung up.
I felt terrible for Ameen. I mean, me and my mother had our differences but I don’t know what I would do if she passed away. “Asha—” I turned to her.
“Look, I don’t want to hear it,” Asha said. “You don’t need to be kicking it with Ameen at any time.”
“His mother died, would you chill?”
“He just wants you to feel sorry for him,” Asha insisted.
“Well, I do,” I said. “I know what Ameen did was wrong and I told you he apologized.”
“You also told me Malachi bugged out earlier this week. So what’s more important?”
“Malachi doesn’t have to know Ameen’s mother died.”
“Okay, so let’s move on.”
“Asha”—I looked at my watch—“her wake is in an hour. Let’s run over there real quick.”
“Heck, no!”
“I have to pay my respects, Asha. He just told me his mother really liked me.”
“Please, she treated you like garbage.”
“Asha, are you going to come with me or not? Because I’m going.”
Asha stared at me long and hard and then she rolled her eyes. “No, I’m not going.”
“Fine, I’ll go by myself.”
“I don’t believe I’m here with you,” Asha growled as we walked into the funeral parlor. “This is crazy.”
“We’re only going to stay for a few minutes.”
“A few minutes and that’s it.”
The funeral parlor was packed with people. Some of them I knew from being with Ameen and some of them I didn’t. I spotted his son’s mother right away. She looked at me and rolled her eyes. Whatever. Little did she know, but she could have Ameen.
“I’ma sit back here,” Asha said. “You go up there”—she pointed at Ameen—“give him your condolences and let’s bounce.”
“That’s exactly what I’ma do,” I said as she sat down, and I headed toward the front of the room. I walked over to Ameen, who was sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. “Ameen.” I tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up and a slight smile ran across his face.
“Zsa.” He stood up and gave me a hug. “
I’m glad you came, man, thanks.”
“I just came to tell you I was sorry about your mother.”
“I appreciate that, Zsa. And you know I’m really sorry about what jumped off between us. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I messed it up.”
“Ameen”—I started to feel uncomfortable—“this is not the time.”
“I know. And I’m not trying to push up or anything like that. I just wanted you to know that.”
“Alright.” I felt nervous. Why? I don’t know, I just did. “I’ma get going, Ameen.”
He kissed me on the cheek. “Thank you for being here for me. It lets me know you still care.”
That was definitely my queue. “Bye, Ameen. Take care.”
I walked over to Asha and said, “Let’s be out now.”
“What did he say?” she asked once we got in the car.
“He was like, I’m glad you came.”
“So why are you shaking?”
“I don’t know. Like I started to feel scared standing next to him.”
“You should be scared of him at all times. He hasn’t changed, Zsa. No matter what he says and no matter who dies.”
“I know,” I said as we pulled off.
“Did he say anything else to you?”
“No,” I said, deciding not to tell her about Ameen thinking I still cared about him.
“Good, and if he calls you again, you need to change your number.”
“Asha, calm down.”
“I’m soooo serious with you, because if I hear that you are talking to this dude again I’m telling your mother.”
“You buggin’.”
“I don’t care if you get mad,” she said. “You rather me tell your mother or tell Malachi?”
I rolled my eyes. “You know the answer to that.”
“Ai’ight then, chill. Now, come on inside so we can go in my room and look at Courtney’s Facebook page and laugh.”
20
Can you stand the rain?
—NEW EDITION, “CAN YOU STAND THE RAIN”
Me, Courtney, and Asha all sat in my room chillin’ on a Sunday afternoon.
“Next year we should get matching tattoos for graduation,” Courtney said, as we sat in my room listening to music and watching the falling snow through the window.
“Oole, Zsa-Zsa,” Hadiah said anxiously, “can I get one too?”
“No,” I said, “and don’t ask again.”
Asha tossed popcorn in her mouth and said, “What kind of tattoo are you talking about, Courtney?”
“Like maybe a strawberry.” Courtney popped his gums.
“Oh, that would be so hot,” Hadiah said in admiration. “When I get to be y’all age I’ma get mine right here.” Hadiah pointed to the small of her back. “A tramp stamp.”
“I’ma make you go in the other room,” I snapped. “Say one more thing that’s inappropriate.”
I turned to Courtney. “I’m not getting a strawberry anywhere on my body.” I frowned. “No.”
“Well, what about,” Courtney said, “a graduation cap with ‘We in the house’ written inside of it.” He snapped his fingers.
“How about this?” Asha said sarcastically. “We should get a pair of pink panties tattooed in the middle of our chest. “Bam!” She snapped her neck. “That would be so hot!”
Me and Asha fell out laughing while Courtney stood up and said, “I don’t appreciate y’all making fun of my tattoo.” He unbuttoned his shirt and moved his boa to the side, showing off his boney chest. “This was a Superman symbol gone bad.” He pointed to the tattoo in the middle. “My cousin did it for me as a favor. It didn’t turn out right so I had him make it look like lace panties. Heck, I thought it was sexy.”
I slapped my hand over Hadiah’s eyes. “Oh, you wrong for even looking like that, Courtney,” I said. “Oh, hell, no.”
It’s a good thing my cell phone started ringing because had I looked at Courtney any longer I may have passed out. I folded my hand in a prayer position and said, “Thank God. Saved by the ringing cell phone.” I looked at the caller ID and it was an out-of-state number that I didn’t recognize. I started not to answer it but then I changed my mind.
“Hello?” I said in my serious voice.
“Why you sound so serious?” A familiar male voice said. “You miss me?”
“Who is this?”
“Damn, I’ve only been gone for two days and you forgot me already? I’m hurt.”
“Oh, my baby,” I whined, realizing that it was Malachi.
“Oh, God,” Asha said, “you gon’ be on the phone forever.”
“Whatever.” I playfully rolled my eyes at her. “I miss you, Malachi.”
“Yeah, we miss you,” Courtney said.
“I’m not even going to respond to that,” Malachi said to me.
“Where are you calling me from?” I asked him.
“Upstate New York.”
“No, I mean whose phone?”
“Oh, my cousin’s cell phone. I can’t get a signal out here on mine. Tell me how much you love me,” he said sweetly.
“I love you soooo much.”
“Okay, I need to leave.” Hadiah pointed to the door. “I’ve had enough of this love mess.”
“That’s our queue too,” Asha said. “Come on, Courtney.”
“Where are we going?” Courtney said. “I’m on the phone talking to Malachi.” He cracked up laughing. “I’m just playing.”
“Bye.” I waved at Asha and Courtney as they walked out of my room. “Lock the door behind you.” I returned my attention back to Malachi. “When are you coming home?”
“In two days,” he said.
“That’s a long time,” I complained.
“I know, baby. But I’ll be there. Listen, I have to get ready to go. I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you.”
“Love you more.” I held the phone to my ear as Malachi hung up. All I could do was daydream about him being here with me. A few minutes later my cell phone started ringing again. When the number came up out of state I started grinning from ear to ear. “What?” I said, answering the phone. “You missed me too much to hang up?”
“Well, yeah, actually I do miss you.”
This wasn’t Malachi. “Who is this?”
“I’ve been gone that long that you don’t even know my voice now?”
I snapped. “No, I don’t, and if you don’t tell me who you are, I’m hanging up.”
“It’s Ameen, Zsa. What are you doing?”
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. “Why are you calling me?”
“Oh, I can’t call you now?”
“Not really.”
“Well, I missed you, Zsa. You know I don’t really have anyone but you, especially since my moms died.”
Suddenly I felt guilty. I hated this feeling. “Yeah, I know. How are you dealing with that?” I asked him.
“Day to day,” he said. “Some days better than others. I miss her though, but I’m trying to get my life together, so I can hold it down for me and my sister, and my nephew, you know what I’m saying.”
“Yeah, I hear you.”
“And you know I got this job interview,” he said, sounding proud of himself.
“You do?!” I said, a bit too excited. “That’s real fly, Ameen. Good for you. Where’s the interview at?”
“GameStop,” he said with confidence. “The one in the mall. So I was wondering if you could take me or if I could use your car, you know what I’m saying?”
“No, I really don’t know what you’re saying. I know what you asked me and the answer to that is no and no.”
“Then what I’ma do, Zsa? I’m trying to get on the right path.”
“Where your friends at? Where are those chicks?”
“Man, to hell with them friends and them get-money chicks. They only want me if I’m in the streets and since I told them I wasn’t hustling no more, that I was gon’ try and make it on my own, they’ve been acting real funny.”<
br />
“Well”—I paused—“I can’t help you. And wait a minute, where is your car?”
“I had to sell it, to pay for my mother’s funeral. She didn’t have any insurance and everything was on me. So I had to do what I had to do. My moms was my world and now I’m just here by myself with nothing. So please, I’m begging you, for real, let me use your car. I swear I’ll be back in like ten minutes.”
“Ten minutes, Ameen, be for real.”
“Not literally ten minutes, I mean like an hour. You can take me if you want to.”
“I’m not getting in a car with you.”
“Okay, well, let me use your car and I promise I’ll be right back. I wouldn’t disrespect you like that, Zsa. I mean, when you could’ve had me locked up for that argument we had in the park, you didn’t, and I got mad love for you behind that. So I would never do anything that was disrespectful to you, and especially use your car and not bring it back on time.”
“Alright, Ameen.” I paused and sighed. “And you better be back here in an hour.”
“Straight. Open the door, I’m outside.”
“What?!” I snapped. “Oh, so you just assumed that I was going to lend you my car? You got a lot of nerve.”
“Nah, it wasn’t even like that. See, I was on the bus, and when you said yeah, I got off.”
“You’re lying, Ameen.”
“Zsa, I’m not lying. Just please, come on, because if you don’t hurry up I’ma be late.”
I hung up on him and walked to the front door, where he was standing on my porch grinning from ear to ear. “Here,” I said, handing him the keys, “and be back in one hour.”
“I got you, ma,” he said, opening the car door. “I got you.”
I turned to go back inside and practically tripped over Hadiah, who was standing behind me. “Mommy gon’ kick yo’ behind.”
“What I tell you about cussing?”
“Cussing is the least of your worries. You know ever since Mommy been going to carnivals in the evenings she be basing off.”
“First of all it’s counseling, not carnivals,” I snapped. “So mind yours. Also. It’s my car.”