Follies and Nonsense

by Martin Hunnicutt

“Lizzy! Mr. Collins will drive me to distraction if he does not leave Meryton soon!”

  “He leaves Saturday and it should be some time before he returns,” Elizabeth assured Jane as they exchanged places.

  “I only hope that Mr. Bingley will not be offended by Mr. Collins and that he will call again.”

  Thus ended the day with Mr. Wickham’s tale of distress.

  ++**++

  The following morning, as soon as the family rose from breaking their fast, Elizabeth secreted herself in her father’s library and composed letters. First, she wrote to her father-in-law.

  ++**++

  Longbourn

  Father Rutherford – Thank you for your wise words this past spring to beware the silver-tongued dissembler and protect my heart. Now I must ask if you have information or can delve into the knowledge of your secretary, Mr. Edgeworth, regarding the late Earl of Bailey’s staff. Did his lordship have a secretary?

  A young man has joined the militia wintering here in Hertfordshire and he tells a tale that I should like to affirm or disprove and one character he mentioned is the late earl’s secretary. If you have any information or knowledge of this gentleman’s existence, name and whereabouts, please reply soonest.

  Take great care of yourself – Matthew and I have need of your wisdom.

  Your loving daughter,

  Lady Elizabeth Hamilton

  ++**++

  She laid the letter aside for the ink to dry and picked up a second sheet of paper to which she applied her pen to write to the steward at Mount Pleasant.

  ++**++

  Longbourn, Hertfordshire

  Mr. Tanner,

  This morning I have a matter of great delicacy to bring to you and ask for your response or information with all speed. I will pay for the express rider to remain overnight and begin his return journey the morning following your receipt of this letter with your reply.

  Lately a young man has come into Meryton to join the militia that will make winter camp in the neighbourhood. He recommends himself well but on his second day, he laid a severe claim upon another acquaintance here in the neighbourhood and this claim leads back to Derbyshire. The young man with the tale is one ‘George Wickham’ and he tells me that Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, the current master of Pemberley, denied him a bequest from the late Mr. George Darcy’s will. This bequest would have allowed Mr. Wickham to take orders and serve the parish of Kympton – a village I understand that my son’s estate shares with Pemberley.

  I am most disturbed by this tale for it contradicts the first impressions I have formed of Mr. Darcy who is also in residence in the area. In the weeks I have known Mr. Darcy, I thought him to be a worthy neighbour for our future at Mount Pleasant.

  If you have any information that can enlighten me, and protect Master Matthew’s inheritance, please reply.

  Sincerely,

  Lady Elizabeth Hamilton, Countess of Bailey

  ++**++

  It was strange to sign her name with the title, but this morning, she felt the responsibility and authority of the position for good. She set the second letter aside to dry, trimmed her pen and she wrote her third letter to her aunt in London.

  ++**++

  Dear Aunt,

  I must impose upon you and ask for assistance with a matter of information while depending upon your greatest discretion. In recent days, we have made the acquaintance of a new officer in the militia stationed here in Hertfordshire and he has told me a tale that has greatly disturbed me. I would ask you to make inquiries among your acquaintance in Lambton and Derbyshire regarding a gentleman named George Wickham. Mr. Wickham has mentioned that he grew up in Lambton and Pemberley and that he was disappointed in his profession because he was unable to take orders.

  There are inconsistencies in his story and I am making this inquiry because of his presence near my family and his connection to Derbyshire where I shall live in the future. If possible, please do not use my name in your inquiries – it will not do for the Countess of Bailey to stir gossip and trouble among the people of Derbyshire before I am in residence.

  Your loving niece,

  Lizzy

  ++**++

  Upon completion of her letters, Elizabeth sent to the stables for Mr. Thomas to harness the greys. Then she went into the nursery to see Matthew, spoke briefly with her mother before gathering her bonnet, pelisse and the letters she had written. When her driver brought the carriage around to the front of Longbourn, she exited the house and hardly waited for him to hold the carriage door for her before she began to climb into the carriage.

  “I wish to visit the blacksmith in Meryton this morning, Mr. Thomas. I need to hire express riders.”

  “Very good, Mrs. Hamilton,” Thomas replied and he climbed back up to the seat and set the team in motion.

  Inside the house, Lydia complained, “Mamma, where is Lizzy going? I should have liked to ride into town with her and shop for bonnets if she is going stop and buy more material for gowns.”

  “I do not know Elizabeth’s destination,” Mrs. Bennet replied. “But she will be home for tea so you may ask her then.”

  ++**++

  The two miles into Meryton passed quickly with the horses in good form this morning. Travelling the length of the town to the livery stable, Elizabeth’s carriage stopped just outside the doors of the barn where the blacksmith had his anvil, tools and horses. She descended from the carriage and found Mr. Black the proprietor coming toward her.

  “Mrs. Hamilton, how can I be of service this morning?” the blacksmith asked the young lady with the fine carriage. “Do your horses need new shoes?”

  “Good morning, Mr. Black,” Elizabeth replied. “I do not think my team requires new shoes at this time but I am in need of three express riders.”

  “Three express deliveries?” the man repeated.

  Elizabeth maintained her calm demeanour and the blacksmith ventured forward with a polite inquiry, “Is there trouble at Longbourn madam? Have you word from your father at last?”

  Smiling and shaking her head, Elizabeth replied, “Nothing from Mr. Bennet and there are no problems. We wish to make inquiries among family and friends for the coming Christmas season.”

  Mr. Black sniffed and Elizabeth managed not to laugh imagining the man’s internal monologue on the gentry wasting good coins on express letters for Christmas parties.

  “There are ample riders available this morning, Mrs. Hamilton. Are your directions plainly written?”

  “Yes. Do you have a man who has ridden northwards before? I am sending an express to Derbyshire.”

  “I have two riders who make regular trips for that Mr. Darcy staying at Netherfield. In fact, I am supposed to send a rider to that estate this morning to pick up letters to carry to the gentleman’s estate.”

  “I would prefer if my letter went directly though I have no objection if the two men ride together.”

  “Very good Mrs. Hamilton,” Mr. Black replied. “Should the man wait for a reply?”

  “Yes, even if he must wait overnight,” Elizabeth replied. “Directions inside the letter will require a response.”

  “Mr. Darcy always asks that our riders rest overnight for responses from most of his letters,” Mr. Black explained as he called a pair of riders over and Elizabeth gave the first letter and a handful of coins to the young man. Mr. Black then sent both riders on the road toward Netherfield.

  “It’ll be six days before you hear back Mrs. Hamilton, at the soonest.”

  She nodded in acknowledgement of Mr. Black’s comment before she offered the second letter. “Now, this letter goes to Wiltshire to Rose Briar Manor.”

  “Another long trip,” Mr. Black said as he summoned the second rider and allowed Elizabeth to hand over the man the letter and more coins.

  “And the third express?” Mr. Black asked.

  “It goes to my aunt in London. Your rider does not have to wait for a reply and should be home in time for his supper,” Elizabeth said as she handed
over the third letter and final set of coins.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Hamilton,” Mr. Black said as the third rider mounted his horse and headed for London. “Will you need another rider tomorrow? I could have a man come to Longbourn to prevent your travel into the village.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Black. There was just some urgency in making our plans is all.”

  “Very good madam but I suggest you allow me to look at the horses’ hooves. Your arrival at the blacksmith early in the day will certainly be noticed and I prefer to honestly answer inquiries that will be made.”

  The young woman glanced at her driver who nodded in agreement so Elizabeth waited as the team was unhitched and lead away from the carriage to allow inspection of their hooves. Before another minute had passed, Mrs. Fielding entered the barn and sought Elizabeth’s side.

  “Mrs. Hamilton, what brings you to Meryton so early in the day?”

  “Good morning, Mrs. Fielding,” Elizabeth replied. “Mr. Black is inspecting the hooves of my team before I stopped at the bookseller this morning.”

  “Did you see the express riders heading out?” Mrs. Fielding pressed.

  Elizabeth smiled, “Yes, I saw the young men leaving. Did Mr. Black purchase any of his express mounts from your husband?”

  “Your horses are ready, Mrs. Hamilton,” Mr. Black said approaching the ladies. “Good morning, Mrs. Fielding. How can I help you this morning?”

  Elizabeth returned to her carriage and directed Mr. Thomas to stop at the booksellers to maintain her story.

  ++**++

  Darcy stepped from the darkness of the inn at Meryton and into the light of the October morning, followed by Colonel Foster.

  “How can I be of assistance today, Mr. Darcy?” asked the officer.

  Turning back from the street traffic, Darcy motioned for the man to walk with him.

  “I need some information regarding a young man in the neighbourhood,” Darcy said. “Two days ago, I rode through the village and saw an acquaintance along the street. I wanted to ask if he has enlisted in your troop.”

  “I have had a new man purchase a commission as a lieutenant this week; a young man named George Wickham and he reported that he is from Derbyshire.” Foster stopped walking and waited for Darcy to turn back, “Is there any information that is relevant to this young man’s enlistment?”

  Darcy considered his answer for a moment before he replied, “I would suggest that you keep the man close. He is very intelligent but has a weakness for gambling and young ladies.”

  “Many of my officers enjoy gambling and young ladies, Mr. Darcy.” Foster grinned, “I plan to marry a young lady shortly and bring her to Meryton for the winter.”

  “Allow me to offer my congratulations colonel,” Darcy said. “Send word to Netherfield when you bring your lady into the neighbourhood and I am certain Mr. Bingley will invite you to supper.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Darcy. I shall do just that – it will ease my wife’s entry into the society hereabouts.”

  “Very good,” Darcy said. “Thank you for your time this morning.”

  The two men bowed and parted company. The officer went looking for his horse to return to the camp and Darcy strode down the street toward the booksellers.

  ++**++

  The bell on the door rang and Mr. Jennings looked up from her desk and nodded to the tall, solemn young man.

  “Good morning, sir. Can I be of assistance?”

  The man looked about for a moment and then asked, “Do you have any pamphlets on crop rotation?”

  “Another city dandy looking to become gentry?” the man wondered though he came from behind her desk to direct the gentleman to a large table behind a set of full bookshelves.

  “We have a large assortment of pamphlets sir,” Mr. Jennings said as he bent over the table.

  “The political ones are along the right here, the scientific discussions here on the left and the agricultural pamphlets…” He turned back to the bookshelf and withdrew a large basket filled with bound pages, “…are here. Bees… cows… potatoes… crop fertility and field rotation…”

  “Thank you, sir,” the gentleman replied. “May I browse?”

  “Certainly, sir!” Mr. Jennings replied just as the bell over the door rang once again. “Excuse me, sir.”

  Darcy nodded absently glancing at the pamphlet on crop fertility as the shop keeper’s steps took her to the front of the store.

  “Mrs. Hamilton! Good morning!” the man called and Darcy’s head snapped up.

  “Good morning, Mr. Jennings. By any chance, has the folio of animals arrived? My son needs a new book.”

  “Yes, it came with the post yesterday and I was going to send it to Longbourn later today if you or one of your sisters did not visit today.”

  Darcy selected a dozen of the pamphlets and stepped around the bookcase just as Elizabeth stepped in his direction and the pamphlets flew from his hands.

  “Mr. Darcy! Forgive me,” Elizabeth said as she reached for the pamphlets. “I did not see you.”

  “Eliza… Mrs. Hamilton, forgive me for being so clumsy,” he replied helping to gather up the pamphlets. “I was searching for information on crop rotation to share with Mr. Bingley’s steward.”

  Elizabeth glanced at the titles of the pamphlets in her hand and smiled. “I believe this tract discusses the proper way to butcher pigs and this one concerns the husbandry of honeybees,” she said as she handed the papers to the gentleman.

  He blushed and then said, “As I have told you before, I often have difficulty with conversation. I am certain that some title in this handful of pamphlets will stimulate conversation of some kind.”

  Elizabeth stared for a moment and then her face broke open with a grin. “Mr. Darcy – sir have you just made a joke?”

  The grin on his face mirrored Elizabeth’s as they turned to Mr. Jennings to pay for their purchases. The shopkeeper smiled along with his customers and made polite conversation as he wrapped their purchases and accepted their payments. When the young couple left her shop, he smiled, remembering his own youth.

  ++**++

  “How fortunate that I came to the bookshop at the same time,” Elizabeth said outside of the store.

  “Yes, most fortunate. May I inquire what brought you to Meryton this morning?” he asked. She paused but then answered truthfully.

  “I sent some express letters and wanted them on the road today.”

  “Does Longbourn have matters of business that require the expense of express riders?” he asked. Elizabeth realized he was merely making conversation and not attempting to discern her motives so she did not take offense.

  “Not for Longbourn, but I did have matters of concern,” she replied.

  Hearing her serious tone, Darcy stopped and turned his full attention to her. “May I be of assistance in any way?”

  Elizabeth paused for a moment, considering what to ask Mr. Darcy. Finally, she replied, “There is nothing today, Mr. Darcy. Perhaps someday, but not today. May I ask your assistance at a future time?”

  “I am at your service, Mrs. Hamilton.”

  ++**++

  Chapter 24.

  Darcy Invites Colonel Fitzwilliam to Hertfordshire

  Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam returned to his quarters from the army camp and found a letter from his cousin on top of other correspondence.

  “Tompkins,” he called to his man as he lifted the letter to open the seal. “Is this today’s post or have I overlooked it for a few days?”

  “The letter from your cousin arrived today, sir. I placed it on top where you would not miss it.”

  “Very good,” Fitzwilliam replied as he opened the letter.

  ++**++

  Hertfordshire

  Netherfield Park

  Cousin – The scoundrel has brought himself within my reach. I am spending the fall with my friend Charles Bingley at an estate – Netherfield Park – near the town of Meryton in Hertfordshire. Wickham has purchased a commission in
the militia and therefore falls under your command. When can you visit to address Lieutenant Wickham and his commanding officer? Is there a need for green lieutenants in the colony of Australia?

  Mr. Bingley will welcome you at any time.

  I await your arrival with great anticipation.

  Darcy

  ++**++

  “Finally!” Colonel Fitzwilliam swore. “Tompkins, bring me pen and paper and then find an express rider! This must be answered immediately!”

  “Yes sir,” the adjutant replied as he pulled a stack of paper, several quills, a pen knife and ink well that he arranged on a desk where the colonel took his seat.

  “Well?” the colonel asked. “Go find the express rider.”

  “Yes, colonel,” Tompkins said as he turned and ran from the room as Colonel Fitzwilliam penned a short, succinct note of his intentions.

  ++**++

  Greenwich

  Darcy

  Do nothing to alert the man that he will soon face a choice of Australia or service at the front of my regiment when next we battle Monsieur Bonaparte’s finest troops. I shall be there tomorrow or the next day at the latest.

  Again, restrain yourself. Do not run him through, shoot him, chop off a limb, or allow Zeus to trample him on the road. I want my share!

  Richard Fitzwilliam

  ++**++

  When Tompkins returned with the express rider leading his horse through the camp, Colonel Fitzwilliam stood before the door of the house where several officers shared quarters. In his hands, he held a sealed letter and a small bag of coins.

  “This is Tom Hill, colonel. He has delivered letters for General Smith-Hanes for the last three years.” Fitzwilliam caught the man’s eye and the rider bowed.

  “Mr. Hill, I have an urgent express to deliver. Are you the man for the job?”