by Hanna Hart
“You never met up with any of them?”
“I never cheated on Rachel,” he said. “I’ve never cheated on any girlfriend and have never so much as kissed another girl while I was in a relationship.”
Miranda pressed her lips together in a way that indicated she was thinking. She watched him carefully, probably deciding whether or not to believe him. She could doubt him all she wanted, but he was telling the truth. As much as Rachel had convinced herself otherwise, he was never unfaithful to her.
“So, now you know the whole story,” he said.
“Did you tell Rachel all of this?”
“Eventually, but she doesn’t believe me. It was my stupid decision. I was weak, not wicked, and I never cheated on her. I think she just needed to believe that I did so she could justify walking out.”
Miranda exhaled, and even her breath sounded relieved. “Then I believe you,” she said. “And I’m sorry for everything that happened.”
“I blew up my whole life,” he winced. “One stupid decision.”
She reached for his hand and squeezed it. “But look at you now. You’re pulling yourself up off the ground. You’re dusting yourself off and starting over. It takes a lot of guts to reinvent yourself, and you have all of your fans behind you.”
“The things I’ve done...” he continued.
“Are things in the past,” she smiled, and he couldn’t help but kiss her.
Chapter Fourteen
Miranda
Utah was beautiful in spring. Miranda had always thought so. The mountains were beautiful and green, and the fields were lush with tulips. The days were getting warmer, but the nights were still cool.
Miranda and Phoenix spent the day at the ranch riding the horses. She loved seeing him in his cowboy hat and hipster beard. When it got too cold to stay out, the two of them went back to Phoenix’s mansion and sat in front of the fireplace talking about movies they wanted to see and what they wanted to do in each of the cities they would visit while on tour.
“When did you realize you liked me?” Phoenix asked.
Miranda cocked her head to the side and marveled at how handsome her boyfriend was—and the fact that she could officially call him her boyfriend. She still couldn’t believe it.
“Um, right away?” she answered with a laugh.
“No, you didn’t,” he dismissed.
“Well, maybe not when you were telling me you were docking my paycheck,” she grinned, “But pretty soon after. I just didn’t want to screw anything up between us by telling you about it. What about you?” she asked. “When did you realize you liked me? Or, more importantly, why do you like me?”
Phoenix wrapped his arm around her and rested his chin against her forehead, looking down off at the giant flames that filled the marble fireplace. “I liked that you didn’t know me,” he said with sincerity. “When you’re in the public eye, people think they know everything about you just because they’ve read a few bullet points about your life. But you? You did not know a single thing about me except that I owned Brookside Ranch.”
“Hey!” she protested with a giggle. “I knew you were a musician!”
“Yeah,” he scoffed, “Because of Birdie.”
“Fair enough.”
“You bring out something in me that I don’t recognize,” he continued, and his words made her whole body go warm.
“Like what?” she asked.
“You make me considerate,” he said, hooking her interest immediately. “You make me want to be a better human being, and I can honestly say I’ve never felt that way before. You make me talk, which, also, not a common thing for me.”
“Well, I am honored,” she said. “And so, so, so excited to start this wild journey with you.”
“You’re not scared?” he questioned.
“Not even a little bit,” she said, leaning up to meet his lips.
Their mouths moved together in perfect unison. His kisses always left her breathless and wanting more.
“Hey,” he whispered, breaking the kiss. She looked up at him and blinked in surprise. “I want you to know that what I said,” he stammered nervously, “what we talked about the other day, about the album and Rachel.”
She shook her head. “Don’t worry about it.”
“No,” he insisted. “I want you to know that I don’t feel that way anymore. This record was like therapy for me, but that’s all it is. Therapeutic. I don’t want her back.”
“I sure hope not,” she said and tried not to sound too relieved.
The truth was, his words had been weighing on her mind ever since he asked her to be his girlfriend. She didn’t want to be his second choice or have him pining after Rachel. And apparently, he wasn’t.
“Did you always know you wanted to be famous?” she asked, wanting to change the subject. She didn’t like dwelling on Rachel. As far as she was concerned, she was no longer a person of interest in their relationship. She hoped, anyway.
“Yes,” he said, then frowned and corrected, “No. What do you mean?”
“You probably always wanted me to know your songs, right? That’s like, every musician’s dream to reach somebody with their music and play for a living, but did you want to be famous? As in, people following you around with cameras, getting swanky invites for things, be awarded in front of bazillions of fans, have girls fall all over you.”
“Oh, that,” he said playfully. “No, that part of everything never really appealed to me, I guess. Some things are cool about it, like being recognized as talented and noticed at all means a lot to a kid like me.”
“What do you mean, a kid like you?” she asked.
Phoenix rolled his eyes, seeming suddenly embarrassed. “Cue the sob story about the technical middle child in a family where our parents had so many kids, they didn’t have enough time to pay attention to them all,” he said.
“I thought you said you and your mom were close?”
“She’s been a rock for me,” he nodded. “I can’t take that away from her. We’ve always been close. But not my dad. I love him, and I respect him for taking care of us and teaching us the value of working hard.”
“But you never really got along?” she asked.
Phoenix shrugged. “We get along. We just don’t have anything in common.”
“Ah.”
Phoenix went to continue but seemed to think better of it. He exhaled loudly and scolded himself, “Listen to me complaining about my upbringing to someone who...”
She laughed. “It’s okay, you can say it: ‘Someone who didn’t have parents.’”
“Talk about first world problems,” he self-lectured. “Here I am going on about being too famous and having such a big family.”
She sat up straighter and removed his arm from around her neck so she could get a better look at him. “Hey, it’s totally fine! That was your reality, and you’re allowed to have feelings about it. Besides, there are plenty of things in your life that are hard.”
Phoenix raised and lowered his brows dismissively. She could tell he felt bad about bringing it up.
“What was it like?” he asked. “Growing up in the system?”
Rachel’s heart fluttered at the mention of it. Not out of fondness, but out of nerves. She licked her lips thoughtfully and asked, “Um. Do you know much about it?”
“Just statistics here and there, but I couldn’t tell you if they are stereotypes or not.”
“What kind of statistics?” she asked. There were a lot of misconceptions about how things worked when you were the property of the government and she was always fascinated to hear how people envisioned life in the system.
“I guess the most common one is that most foster parents come in looking for an infant,” he said. “And that foster kids are more likely to suffer from behavioral issues,” he continued, counting on his fingers as he went along. “Foster parents are usually only in it for the money. You know, big stereotypes like that.”
“I mean, you’re not wron
g about most of it,” she said, impressed with his knowledge. “A lot of people who come in are looking for a kid anywhere from one to five years old, let’s say. They want someone who isn’t terribly connected to their bio-parents, that type of thing. And yeah, a lot of people I knew ended up aging out.”
“Did you?”
Her eyes went sideways as she considered it. “Sort of,” she shrugged. “I had two great foster families that I stayed with for a couple of years each, and they were...yeah, they were really great. But I was sent back at sixteen because of an accident in the family.”
“What kind of accident?”
“Jeff and Michelle, those were the parents,” she explained. “Jeff got in this freak jet ski accident, and he ended up paralyzed from the neck down. He needed all of this help from Michelle, and she didn’t have time for me.”
“Right,” Phoenix said slowly. “But you were sixteen. It’s not like they had to watch you all the time.”
“I only know what my social worker told me, which was that Michelle had other responsibilities to take care of. Maybe they just didn’t want me around anymore. I’ll probably never know what the true story was. But by that point, I’m sixteen, nearly seventeen. Nobody is going to come in looking for that age bracket, so I just got a job and waited it out. Once I was eighteen, I went into sponsored housing and ta-da!” she exclaimed, throwing jazz-hands into the air. “That’s me.”
“Sounds rough,” he said.
“It,” she paused thoughtfully, “...was.”
“What was your social worker like?”
“Rina?” she brightened. “Oh, she was amazing. A lot of socials end up jaded and cynical about the whole thing. I mean, from a technical standpoint, I can’t blame them. Sometimes they’re dealing with forty kids at one time. But Rina was awesome. She was always there for me, always had a minute to talk, and she still checks up on me. We were close. I remember begging her to adopt me.”
Phoenix smiled at her recollection and asked, “I guess that’s against the rules?”
“Ah, she had her own kids to worry about,” she said. “That’s the thing about growing up in the system. No matter how much somebody likes you, they still think you’re damaged goods.”
“I hate that,” Phoenix said. “That must be an awful feeling. I’m sorry you went through that. But you liked your foster parents?”
“Loved them. I had some others who weren’t so great, don’t get me wrong. There’s a lot of fosters who are just in it for the money or who end up abusing the kids in all these horrible ways. But for the most part, I think everyone, the parents and the socials, they’re just good people looking to help out.”
“I can’t imagine anyone taking on the responsibility of being someone’s parent just to mistreat them,” he said.
“I could tell you some stories,” she said. “But, it’s not something I like to dwell on. The only thing I want to focus on is looking for a way to help these kids going forward.”
Phoenix ran a hand along her forehead and brushed a strand of blonde hair out of her face. He studied her carefully and said, “Which is exactly what we’re going to do here at the ranch.”
And with those words, she fell even more in love with him.
Chapter Fifteen
Phoenix
Four weeks on the road, and Phoenix was just getting started with the tour. His label decided on a whim to add in some extra dates in Japan and Australia and sent him out immediately to start performing.
Japan was amazing, as always. He and Miranda made their way through Kyoto looking at Shinto shrines, historic temples, visiting the monkeys in the bamboo forest, and eating their way through the best ramen and takoyaki the street vendors had to offer.
In Australia, they visited Sydney and the famous opera house, harbor bridge, and walked along the amazing stretches of beach.
They spent two weeks in Japan and two more in Australia and flew home to attend an awards ceremony in Hollywood, in which Phoenix was nominated for the best album of the year.
He was surprised to receive the nomination, considering his album hadn’t been out for very long, but his label was thrilled.
After getting back from Australia, he and Miranda were completely jetlagged—hilariously so. Everything in the world seemed hilarious to them in their sleep-deprived and confused state. If it was five p.m. in Utah on a Monday, it was eleven a.m. Tuesday in Sydney.
Never mind the time difference: gaining a whole day he’d already lived through once he arrived back home was a complete trip.
The two spent five days at the ranch recovering, and he’d never felt happier to be home.
That was a strange feeling. Phoenix was never happy to be back at the ranch. His heart was on tour—which only proved that his heart was most definitely with Miranda now.
After their recovery week, the two flew out to California to attend the music awards ceremony.
The two did red carpet interviews, and once inside the venue, Phoenix was able to introduce Miranda to some of her favorite artists. He loved seeing her so happy.
“Are you nervous?” Miranda asked, leaning into his ear during the show. His nominated category was about to be announced, but he didn’t feel a thing.
“No,” he said simply. “I just go into these things assuming I’m never going to win. That way, I’m never disappointed.”
“Says the guy with a zillion awards on his wall. After tonight, a zillion and one!” she giggled.
“Tonight, the only thing that’s important to me is that we get to relax, take a break from all this traveling, and just hang out together.”
“When you win, I’m going to scream so loud,” she teased, nuzzling into him.
“I’m not going to win,” he chuckled.
Miranda shook her head. “You are so going to win!”
“I am serious, you know?” he said, pulling her hand into his and kissing her knuckles. “You’re the only thing that matters to me in the whole world. I am not sure how I got so lucky to have you in my life.”
“I guess my financial wreckage came at a pretty opportune time for you,” she giggled.
He gave her a playful wink and then leaned in to kiss her. “You are my favorite person in the whole world,” he said genuinely.
“Stop it!” she blushed, batting him away. “This night is supposed to be about you, not about showering me with compliments!”
“What do you want to do when we get back to the ranch?” he asked with a smile, already forgetting about the ceremony around them.
“Nothing,” she said with a big grin.
“Sounds luxurious.”
“Hey!” she exclaimed.
“I was being serious,” he offered.
Miranda fixed a strand of curled blonde hair behind her ear and leaned in even closer to his ear. “After a tour, are you completely wiped out in every way, shape, and form? Like, does coming home feel like this sanctuary, or does constantly being on the road mean that when you get home, you’re bored after a week of living normally?”
“I used to feel that way, I guess,” he said, trying to talk over the announcer. “But something tells me coming home and being with you is going to be a completely different story.”
She gave him a genuine smile, and he couldn’t get over how sweet she looked.
“I can’t get enough of you, Miranda,” he said.
“Well, good, because I can’t get enough of you, either.”
Her words were temporarily cut off by a cheer so deafening, Phoenix momentarily winced. He looked up at the stage and saw that his face was showing on the big screen. The actress announcing the winner was looking at him with lifted brows, moving her hand as if to usher him onto the stage.
“You won!” Miranda screamed, nearly pushing him out of his chair. “Oh my gosh! Go up there! Go get your award!”
Phoenix blinked in surprise. He hadn’t expected anything from the ceremony—just another obligation event. But he’d won?
He made hi
s way to the stage and accepted the award, a golden music symbol, from the bedazzled actress in front of him. Then he stammered up to the microphone and said, “I don’t know what to say, genuinely. I’m stunned. This record has only been out for a couple of months, and you have all given it so much love.”
The audience quieted as he began to speak. He felt overwhelmed and then suddenly calm, fixing his eyes on Miranda’s.
“First and foremost, I want to thank my amazing partner, Miranda,” he said, raising the trophy to her. Her eyes brimmed with tears in the audience, and she put her hands together as if she were saying a prayer.
“Her endless support and belief in me have changed my life more than she will ever know,” he said. “I want to thank the fans for making this record a success and for putting up with me over these last two years.”
The audience roared with laughter at his comment. It was true. They’d put up with seclusion, a postponed record, and many, many public embarrassments, and the love they’d shown him, and this record had been overwhelmingly touching.
Then his mind twisted over to Rachel. Would he be remiss not to mention her? After all, without her, the music would not have existed at all.
He cleared his throat nervously and looked down at the award in his hands, running a thumb over it curiously. “I also want to thank the person who blew the breath of life into these songs,” he said. “For better or worse, without this person and the experience we had, there would be no record, no growth, and no music left in me. So, no matter where life takes you now, I’m forever grateful.”
And he was.
Chapter Sixteen
Miranda
After a month of touring and the awards show, Miranda was emotionally and physically exhausted. She liked the excitement of traveling to new places and exploring the towns and cities, but the actual act of traveling—driving, flying, and otherwise being shuttled around by Phoenix’s crew—was a lot to handle for someone unaccustomed to the life of a star.