by Nina Singh
She’d wanted him since the moment he walked into her office. No, she’d wanted him since she’d known him, practically her whole life.
Cabe was the star of her daydreams, her girlhood crush. He’d transformed her life since walking back into it. He’d transformed her. She didn’t recognize this reckless, careless woman she’d become. Was she really kissing her boss outside in the open, where anyone could walk by? This wasn’t like her—this was downright wanton. But she didn’t care. All she cared about was having Cabe completely.
He carried her out of the maze of bridges. The sounds of the waterfalls echoed soothingly behind them. An unseen bird chirped a melody in one of the trees above. He clearly knew the island well. The path he took her on was completely deserted. Before she realized, they were somehow in the hallway outside his suite. Cabe managed to unlock the door and bring her into his room, still holding her tight in his embrace. Slowly, he set her down on the thick, plush comforter on the bed.
She was in Cabe Jordan’s hotel room as he kissed her and caressed her. The ocean view outside the balcony window looked like a painting created by a master painter. Her desire-fogged mind told her this all had to be some separate fantasy away from the rest of the universe.
And she would pretend it was. She would make believe she was in a universe where Jenna Townsend for once in her life got what she wanted. One where she succumbed to her desires. Just this one time, with this one man. Gently, slowly, he lowered himself to balance on his elbows just above her.
“Jenna?” He said her name as a question, touchingly making sure this was what she wanted.
It was, more than anything. She answered him by slowly undoing the top of her dress. She didn’t get a chance to unbutton the rest. Covering her mouth with his once again, Cabe took over, making quick work of the remaining buttons.
There was no doubt in her mind. She wanted him. It was the only thing that mattered in this moment. Jenna knew this was what paradise would feel like.
Cabe confirmed it by taking her straight there.
* * *
She’d fallen asleep in his arms.
Cabe ran his fingers through Jenna’s soft, thick hair. He sat cradling her with her back against his chest. Outside his window, the ocean shone like a rare glittering jewel in the distance.
Let her sleep, he thought. This moment would be over all too soon. Once they stepped out of this room, reality would set in. Then he would have to examine what had just happened. But not now.
Now he was just going to enjoy the feel of Jenna’s languid body against his, savor the sensation of what it had felt like to hold her and love her.
He stroked her hair, breathed in the scent of her tropical shampoo mingled with the salty sea air. Jenna was not like anyone he’d ever known. That she was still helping her mother, even as an adult, didn’t surprise him. This amazing, dynamic woman in his arms was the type of person who’d never turn away from anyone who needed her. Didn’t she realize how special that made her?
Thinking of what she must have endured as a child made him want to throw something. Or punch the headrest behind him. She really was extraordinary. Jenna had prospered and shone into adulthood despite the genetic cards she’d been dealt. She’d worked hard and earned it all. Unlike those who’d had everything handed to them. Unlike him.
Suddenly, he felt lacking, inadequate. Jenna had accomplished so much in her life despite being given so little. Compared to her struggles, he’d had it so easy. All he had to do was take advantage of all the ample opportunities he’d been awarded.
The memory of the first day of his Boston visit flashed through his mind’s eye. Her anger had been vibrant and strong. He’d deserved her ire then. He’d been an utter ass. When he thought about what that must have felt like for her, to have the boss come to town and practically accuse her of being a thief.
He was her boss, the CEO. Someone who had a direct say on her career, her very future.
And he’d just made love to her.
A bubble of acid churned in his gut. Damn his impulsiveness.
Jenna wasn’t the type to have a meaningless office fling. She had substance, character. With all that she’d been through, she had every right to a bright and fulfilling future. Complete with the rewarding career and a caring steady man who would always be there for the woman in his life.
She deserved the kind of future Cabe would never be able to give her.
* * *
For one hazy moment upon awakening, Jenna thought perhaps she had dreamed it all. There wasn’t any kind of way the fates would have really allowed it to happen. She had not just been intimate with Cabe Jordan.
“Hey there, Sleeping Beauty.” His rich baritone served to pull her out of that fallacy very quick. As did the weightlessness in her muscles. Not to mention the warm body she was snuggled against.
Dear heavens. What had she done? How could she have just made love with her boss?
Scrambling to gain some sense, she removed herself out of his embrace and stood up off the bed with the top sheet wrapped around her. Cabe sat up at the edge of the mattress and rammed a hand through his hair.
A glance at the window showed the sky had turned a deep, rich purple. The hour had to be approaching early evening. They’d apparently been there awhile. What time was it? She never wore a watch but where was her phone? She had no idea. If she had dropped it on the bridge, she hadn’t even done a backup since arriving.
How utterly unprofessional—she didn’t even know where her phone was. But then again, so was sleeping with someone she worked with. Correct that—Cabe was the man she worked for. The blood left her brain. She dared a glance in his direction. He was clearly avoiding looking at her.
Cabe cleared his throat. “We should probably go get cleaned up.”
“Um, I seem to have misplaced my phone.” Great. On top of everything else, she had to admit to misplacing company property.
They both saw it at the same time, resting on the carpet near the leg of the bed. Disastrously, they both bent to reach for it, bumping heads.
This had to be the most awkward moment of her life. She had no idea how to process it. There were no excuses but she’d just felt so off balance on the bridge by the waterfall, literally and figuratively. Cabe’s anguished face coupled with the way he’d opened up to her. And the location. It was all a perfect storm of overstimulation and she’d just snapped. She’d given in to her aching desire to be close to him. In every way.
Straightening, she took a deep breath. “Cabe, I—”
He held a hand up to stop her. “Let’s just both get cleaned up. I, for one, could use a long hot shower before dressing for dinner.”
Jenna winced. He’d effectively just dismissed her. There had to be a large sinkhole or underground cave on this island she could go crawl in. Or better yet, she could run into the ocean and dive into a large wave, just swim out into the open sea. It couldn’t be any worse. She already felt like she was drowning.
“Probably a good idea.” She forced out her agreement and grabbed her phone off the floor.
And her blood went cold again. Her screen was lit up with text messages. Most of them from home. Her mother. She could think of no good reason for Amanda to be trying to reach her here. The messages could only mean one thing: Amanda was in some kind of trouble.
CHAPTER EIGHT
CABE JORDAN HAD made love to her—there was no way to focus on anything else.
Jenna lathered up the rich mango gel soap and let the soothing water of the shower wash over her still-tingling skin.
She could still feel his touch. Every word he’d whispered in her ear still echoed in her head. Every second of what they’d shared would be ingrained in her memory for the rest of her life. She’d never forget the way he’d felt, the things he’d said to her. It would all torture
her for the rest of her life. Stifling a sob, Jenna turned off the water and grabbed the thick Turkish robe hanging from the shower door, wrapping it around herself and stepping out of the stall. Cabe had said he would wait for her in his room while she got cleaned up. She had no idea what she would say to him. He couldn’t possibly know how torn she felt right now.
How in the world could she have let things get so far between them? And what in heaven’s name was she to do now?
The beeping of her cell phone interrupted her thoughts again. Two more texts came in, and several missed calls registered.
Not now...not just yet.
She just couldn’t tackle any of it now, not on top of everything else she had to grapple with. Call her a coward, but despite knowing that she should just answer the phone and find out what was happening back in Boston, her nerves just couldn’t handle anything else at the moment. First she had to gain back some of her equilibrium before she faced Cabe. She would deal with Amanda’s newest crisis when she regained some semblance of sanity and strength. A couple of hours more when she was half a world away certainly couldn’t make any sort of difference anyway.
With shaky hands, Jenna gripped the phone and pressed the reset button until her finger hurt. When the device finally powered off, she sank down onto the love seat against the wall of her room. Her knees had suddenly gone weak.
What a fool she’d been. Forgetting about her reality for even a few moments of guilty pleasure. Pretending she could escape who she truly was. Her truth had even found her here, on this beautiful island paradise.
She could never be anything to someone like Cabe Jordan.
She had too much baggage, too much of a responsibility, the likes of which he’d never be able to relate to. An alcoholic mother who was repeatedly in and out of jail. Dear God, Amanda may even need bailing out right at this very moment. Or perhaps she’d been evicted again and couldn’t get ahold of Jenna’s brother nor find the spare key to her apartment that Jenna had given her.
Cabe was worried about a reporter simply posting a picture of the two of them. She shuddered to think how he would feel about being tied to a woman whose mother had such a sordid past. The press would have a field day with Amanda’s history.
Well, there was nothing Jenna could do about it now, being hundreds of miles away on a Caribbean island.
Jenna took a deep breath and forced herself up. First thing first, Cabe awaited her. She had to shake off the self-pity and get dressed. They planned to get an early dinner at a seaside tavern and then head over to the casino. As far as she knew, none of those plans had changed.
How was she going to face him? Just a couple of short hours ago they’d been as close and as intimate as any two people could be. But next time she faced him, things had to be different. She had no one but herself to blame. She’d let her guard down, let herself forget who she was and where she belonged on the hierarchy of life.
Somehow, she had to rectify all that. What had happened between them this afternoon could never happen again. She had to make sure of it, even though it was breaking her heart into a million jagged pieces.
Pieces that would never be put back together no matter how hard she tried.
* * *
Jenna refused to meet him in the eye.
For the life of him, Cabe couldn’t figure out what to say to break the ice. Should he apologize? Or would that just make things even more awkward? One thing was certain—the silence was becoming unbearable.
He cleared his throat, decided to go with something mundane, just to start. “I hope you’re hungry. This place has quite an extensive buffet. Everything from seafood to the finest Kobe steak.”
Again, she didn’t face him, barely turned her head. “Sounds good.”
Cabe stifled a groan of irritation. He deserved this; he’d done it to himself. Jenna clearly wanted to take back what had happened between them. He could guess why. They were completely wrong for each other. He’d never be able to give her the kind of things she deserved from a man.
Jenna needed someone with substance, a man who could give her a future. She’d grown up with enough instability. She didn’t need any in her adulthood.
Between his nonstop workdays and his lifestyle, Cabe couldn’t pretend to be that man. Hell, he barely stayed in the same city for more than two weeks at a time. She was smart enough to see that. A future with him wouldn’t be much of a future at all. Not for someone who had as much going for her as Jenna did.
He should never have touched her, never so much as let himself stroke a hair on her head.
He had no excuse, only the fact that once again he’d proved what a weak person he was. His resistance had completely crumbled when she’d cupped his face and uttered soothing words no one had ever said to him before, her voice full of concern.
He would have to find a way to apologize. If not with words, then with some kind of way that would make all this up to her.
The soft music of a steel-drum band started up behind them on the beach as the maître d’ greeted them. It took all of Cabe’s will not to touch her as they were being led to their table. He wanted so badly to place his hand at the small of her back, feel the heat of her skin beneath his touch.
He cursed under his breath. To anyone in the dining area, they appeared to be the perfect picture of a well-suited couple enjoying each other’s company while on vacation.
He would never have that. Not with Jenna. Not with anyone. How silly of him to believe that even for a moment he could. He’d long lost his appetite. Jenna hardly looked interested in food either. But it appeared they were both willing to go through the pretense.
But she surprised him when the waiter appeared. Instead of her usual water or iced tea, she asked for a glass of wine. He lifted an eyebrow in question after the man had left. “Looking for something a bit stronger this evening?”
She ducked her head when answering. “I’m afraid there isn’t anything strong enough.”
Cabe indulged in a deep sigh. Enough was enough. “Jenna, I think it’s time we faced this head-on. Something happened between us. Something major.”
She ducked her head. “I know that.”
Unable to help himself, he reached for her hand across the table. At her flinch, he hastily pulled it back.
He just didn’t learn, did he? Always taking too much, offering too little in return.
* * *
The tension between them hung thick and palpable.
“Maybe we should just cancel the visit to the casino,” Cabe suggested, pulling his hand back. In an act of self-preservation, Jenna had jumped when he’d reached for her. As much as she might long for it, she lost all her resolve when he touched her. “I don’t think either of us is really in the right frame of mind,” he added. “Maxim will have to understand.”
Great. Another work obligation that was being impacted because of her. She shook her head. “It’s okay. That won’t be necessary.”
Try as she might, Cabe saw through her attempt to act professional. He rammed his fingers through his hair. “Jenna, please. Just say something. Tell me what’s going on in your head.”
Her eyes stung. There was really no good way to begin. “Oh, Cabe. We both know there’s really only one thing to say.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “And that is?”
“It’s all wrong, what’s happened between us.”
He sucked in a breath, looked away. “Trust me when I say I didn’t see it coming, either, the way I suddenly feel about you.”
She shook her head, held her hands up. The lump in her throat made it hard to speak but she pushed through it. “That’s what I mean. You can’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“I can’t hear about how you feel about me. Nor think about how I feel about you. I can’t do this, any of this. This project is
too important to me. My job is too important. I can’t believe I jeopardized everything by sleeping with my boss.” A deep shudder shook her through her core. Her heart felt like it was splitting down the middle. And there was nothing she could do.
“Who says you jeopardized anything?”
“It’s the truth. My reputation means everything to me.”
“And it’s still intact.”
She shook her head. “Maybe for now. But everything I’ve worked for, none of it will matter if people find out I was intimate with the boss on a business trip!”
“It’s not as scandalous as it sounds.”
How she wished he was right, that things could be different between them. That she could somehow actually be sitting here and enjoying a moonlit dinner by the ocean with the man she—She gave her head a shake. That word kept popping up. And she had to stop even thinking it. Imagine, she’d practically said it out loud to Cabe at the waterfall earlier. What did it matter if she knew she was in love with him, that perhaps she’d always been in love with him? The cold slap of reality was all that mattered now.
“Jenna, I never meant to put you in such a position. It just kind of happened. I’m not sure what I can do to make it up to you, but I promise you I will. I’ll think of some way.”
The blood left her brain. “Oh, my God. You’re not suggesting that I get some kind of reward because of what happened between us! Like some kind of—”
He jolted in his seat. “No! Of course not. I just mean—I don’t know what I meant. Just that I hate what’s happening, what you’re feeling right now.”
Suddenly it was too much. The events of the afternoon, the mystery texts and phone calls. This whole conversation. She just had to get away. Without a thought as to how it would look, she rose from her seat and dropped her napkin onto the table. “Excuse me.”
Cabe stood as well. “Jenna, wait.”
She didn’t. The waiter gave them both a curious look but Jenna didn’t care. She needed to get away. Cabe was fast on her heels. Part of her wished he would stop chasing her. But another foolish part would be crushed if he let her just run off into the night.