“Hmmm… Still don’t like sex, eh Mason?” he said, his eyes narrowing at my lack of response to his touch. It had always infuriated him that I had no response to him.
“Maybe you’d be more interested if we had your Devereaux friend here to play with, too?” He asked, his body crowding against my back, forcing me against the desk again.
“What was his name? Lee?” he asked Conyers, who nodded. Dreyven turned his head back toward me, his arms wrapped around me, the gun in one hand. I was ready to vomit at the stench of him. He smelled like cum, and blood and expensive cologne, all rolled into one.
“He was the one who dropped you off tonight, right?” he whispered in my ear. “Maybe I could arrange a little show for him, hmm? Let him watch while I fucked you? Should I, Mason? Fuck you in front of him? Then fuck him?” he asked, his voice thick in my ear.
“No!” I cried out, terror-spiked adrenaline hitting my bloodstream, my yell startling all of us. Lee was one of the few genuinely good people I’d ever met in this world. There was no way I was going to let these bastards get their hands on him. Plus, if Dreyven ever found out Lee was the one who killed Ricky, there would be no saving him. Anger like lava boiled and popped in my veins.
“You leave Lee alone, you son of a bitch,” I growled, letting my head fall forward. Then I straightened quickly and slammed my head backward, in the same move that Mama K had taught me the night before, catching Dreyven squarely on the nose.
The small amount of pain in the back of my head was worth it as Dreyven’s arms dropped free and the gun went tumbling.
“Fuck!” He yelled, grabbing for his nose, blood spurting everywhere. “You stupid fuck! You broke my nose! That’s two! Two less friends you’ve got, Mason!” Dreyven’s hands pressed against his face in a vain attempt to stem the blood that poured down his face and all over his expensive suit.
I took the momentary reprieve, shoving Dreyven at Conyers with all my might. I opened the office door and did the one thing I was good at. I ran.
I didn’t know where I went or even how long I ran. I’d found an exit out of the building and my feet crunched across gravel. I ran until I felt grass under my feet and tree branches slapped me. The adrenaline in my blood made me fly, but eventually it began to wear off. I heard them chasing me for a while, then finally heard Dreyven’s voice yelling into the darkness.
“Forget it Bill, I’m not running around in the dark all night. He won’t go far,” Dreyven yelled. “Mason! I know you can hear me, boy. Two o’clock in Cleveland, Mason! Don’t be late, or someone else on that screen is going to regret knowing you!”
I was huddled behind some bushes and had no real idea where I was, but I could hear Dreyven and Bill talking as they went back inside. A few minutes later I heard them leave.
I hid in the bushes and trees around the building for what felt like forever. I knew that if I waited long enough, Lee would be back. He would come for me. I had to have faith in that, although terror for his safety made me ill. I almost vomited in fear as I sat there when I heard another soft set of footsteps approach.
“Mason?” I heard a whispered call and recognized Tobi’s voice. I tried to respond, to do something, but it seemed as if his voice was coming from a great distance and I was somehow disconnected from my body.
I hardly noticed it when Tobi started talking to me and eventually sat down next to me, wrapping his arms around me to try and warm me up. It seemed like an eternity later when I saw a pair of headlights flash over the now-empty parking lot and I heard the sound of a car drive up. I was shaking at this point, but it didn’t seem to matter.
As Lee got out of the car, a part of me sighed in relief. At least he hadn’t been one of the ones hurt. As much as I wanted to run to him, seek the shelter of his arms and the warmth of his protection, I was frozen in shame and fear. He deserved better than this, better than me. He deserved someone who wasn’t… tainted… like I was.
That knowledge and shame, more than almost anything else that happened, kept me frozen in the dark, but Lee found us huddled beside the building. I could hear him and Tobi talking, but it was so far away I couldn’t understand what they were saying.
I blinked and somehow found myself sitting inside Lee’s car. I had no idea how I’d gotten there.
Two words ran through my head as I sat there. “Don’t Tell. Don’t Tell. Don’t Tell.” Over and over, because I knew if I told Lee what had happened, I’d get everyone killed and I couldn’t be responsible for that. It was already my fault someone, or two someones, were getting hurt tonight. I couldn’t be responsible for more.
My ass ached and burned like fire, I could feel my lip swelling and throbbing, but I didn’t dare let Lee see the pain I was in. I knew what kind of a guy Lee was. He was a hero. He was the kind of guy who would run into a burning building to save a puppy. If he knew what had happened to me, he would lose his shit then run off and do something stupid, like confront Dreyven and Conyers. I couldn’t let him do that.
Despite the frozen disconnection between my brain and my body, I was frantic to reach my friends. With my phone broken, I didn’t even know how I would reach them. Who knew phone numbers, in this day and age? They were all stored on my phone. I could try emailing, but what could I say? Please run, please hide, because two of you are going to be attacked? Or maybe already had been? And it was all my fault.
I couldn’t. So, I’d lied. I let Lee think tonight was “just” another panic attack. Not… not a… I couldn’t even say it to myself. Not rape. Not again, not after all these years of rebuilding myself. My self.
When we got back to his house, I grabbed my laptop and reached out to my friends before I did anything else, and demanded Lee do the same. I knew I couldn’t tell him or them what was happening, but at least I could put them on guard.
Emails sent, I made a beeline for the shower. I knew, logically, I shouldn’t shower, that I should preserve the evidence, save the bits of the men who had violated me so that they could be brought to justice. But I couldn’t. There was no justice here for me. I didn’t dare go to the local police—that would just jeopardize more people. All I could do was prop myself up under the hottest water I could stand, scrubbing my body, digging my nails into my skin, scratching away the cum, blood and the touch of sick, evil men that had soaked into my skin.
When I was done, I saw my clothes on the floor where I’d dropped them as I’d stripped. The underwear and jeans were still wet and stained with blood and other fluids. I knew I couldn’t let Lee see them, but there was no way I was getting them past him, either. I did the only thing I could think of. I balled them all up together and stuck them under the sink behind some bathroom cleansers and a stack of toilet paper. I’d grab them before I left tomorrow.
Because I had to leave. I didn’t have a choice. There were no other options here, no escape from the things I’d set in motion.
I could see the questions in Lee’s eyes, hear the worry in his voice as he spoke to me, but he did what I asked, and touched base with all his family. He reassured me everyone was fine, safe. Lizzie, Ev and Zem let me know all was well with them, too. Lee tried to talk to me about what happened, but the only way I could respond was to beg him to let me sleep.
I flinched when he got in bed and slid up behind me and I had to hope that he didn’t notice. Then I smelled it, that same scent that had snuck its way into my living hell so many years ago, the sweet vanilla and amber scent that was uniquely Lee’s. As he wrapped his arms around me and drew me close, I tried desperately to record the feel of his skin against mine, his amazing scent, the warmth of his breath on my neck. I knew I would need these memories to survive the days ahead. After a while, I was finally able to shove the horror of the day into a box deep in my brain and fall into the oblivion of sleep.
Lee’s thrashing woke me a few hours later. My body still ached and sharp pains shot through me as I sat up too quickly, but Lee seemed locked in the nightmare that was riding him. I sat there a moment a
nd tried to figure out what to do. He was moaning and I could see the tracks of tears running down his face as he thrashed. I wondered if tonight’s events had triggered this nightmare, something about my weakness leading him back into hell.
I tried to remember what you were supposed to do with nightmare sufferers. Were you supposed to touch someone who was having a nightmare? Try to wake them? I didn’t think so. but I couldn’t bear to hear the sounds of his moans as he struggled with whatever nightmare he was trapped in.
“Lee,” I’d finally said, calling his name.
No response. I cupped his face with both hands as he continued thrashing, harder this time, his legs trapped in the sheets, his flailing.
“Lee!” I yelled his name again.
Finally, he sat bolt upright in the bed, his eyes wide with terror and screaming, “No!”
I wrapped my arms around him, trying to calm him.
“It’s okay! You’re safe. We’re safe,” I found myself lying to him over and over. I had to convince myself it was true, at least for the moment. The reversal of our roles wasn’t lost on me as I sat there comforting him for once.
I felt him heaving in my arms, struggling to catch his breath as he slowly came back to himself. Over the sound of his ragged gasps, I heard his phone ring. He reached out for it automatically, almost blindly.
The fear in his voice stole all the warmth away from us as I heard him talk to his parents.
We dressed in record time and headed to the hospital. I’d never regretted not knowing how to drive, until now. Lee was frantic with worry for his brothers, and his driving was less than focused. Okay, he drove like a crazy man but luckily the highways were almost deserted in the very early morning hours.
We arrived at the hospital in record time. The sight of Diana and Kyra Devereaux as they sat comforting each other in the Emergency Department waiting area caused the ache in my chest to tighten to the point I couldn’t breathe. I knew why they were here. Why we all were here. This was the cost of my defiance. Dreyven and Conyers had made me pay for my freedom, however temporary, with their blood.
The guilt and shame cut deeper as each member of the Devereaux family showed up. First Kaine, then Bishop, then a sleepy looking Nicki arrived.
There was a tense moment when Nicki walked in, as he and Kaine just locked glares for a moment. It seemed like they were at some kind of impasse, then Nicki broke and quickly stepped forward to wrap his arms around the other man. Kaine hugged him close then they both threw an arm around Bishop. Mama K and Mama D had stood when Nicki walked in, the alertness of mama bears protecting their cubs. Now the three friends turned and enveloped Diana and Kyra in their embrace. Lee joined in and I stood there a minute, not sure what to do. Then Mama K opened her arms further and gestured me in.
“Mijo, you belong in here, too,” she said, waving me forward, her eyes glittering brown with unshed tears.
I walked forward reluctantly, knowing I didn’t, in fact, belong in that circle of love and trust, but I felt her arm come around me on one side and Lee’s arm around me on the other.
Mama K’s voice whispered something in Spanish. I couldn’t understand her words, but I understood her prayer. It was a mother’s prayer for beloved, injured children, a voice thick with the fear of loss.
The feel of their arms clutching me tight was almost too much to take. Tears stung my eyes as I looked within that circle of chosen family and realized, finally, what I needed to do. I couldn’t just let this cycle continue, couldn’t let Dreyven and men like him continue to own me, continue to win. I couldn’t keep running.
But first, I needed to make sure these precious people were safe. I needed to get away from Lee, his parents and siblings so they wouldn’t be targets anymore. I had to secure my chosen family, then I'd makes sure that no one else paid for my sins.
We broke apart a few minutes later and I escaped down a side hallway after borrowing Lee’s phone. I didn’t even have to come up with some lie, he just handed it over to me without question and went back to comforting his parents. With my own phone still useless, I had to trust my memory as I dialed a number I hadn’t ever really thought I’d use, but was still engraved in my memory nonetheless.
“Milwaukee Police Department Confidential Informant Line. What is your message?” I heard the tin-can sounding voice on the other end of the line ask. I swallowed hard, struggling to ready my response, dredging through years-old memories to remember the information the detective had hammered into my brain.
I whispered the words that would either save us all, or deliver me to hell.
“Mason Cameron Malone, Akron, Ohio heading to Seattle, Washington - Harem.”
28
Lee
Within the hour the whole family had arrived except for Weaver, who was on duty. She was trying to get emergency leave to come up to be with the family and I’d barely managed to extract her promise not to go AWOL by swearing I would text her at any news, good or bad.
It was late morning or early afternoon, I didn’t even know anymore and I didn’t really care. The twins had been moved to surgery. The doctors, who occasionally came out to update us, were grim and not telling us a whole helluva lot. An orthopedic surgeon had gone in a while ago to try and save Sonny’s leg. He said he could only try, there were no guarantees. Even if the doctor managed to save his leg, I knew he would have a long road to recovery ahead of him. My own hip ached in sympathy.
My parents struggled, alternating between fury at whoever had done this and fear for the boys.
I walked by one of the conference rooms that lined the hallways of the hospital and saw two men in medic uniforms seated around a conference table filling out paperwork. One of them was a young kid, I doubted he was much more than twenty-one. The other was a man in his late thirties to early forties, just a little older than me, his dark hair starting to show threads of silver throughout. I respected the work they did, and normally I wouldn’t have interrupted them, but as I passed, I spied a tell-tale tattoo peeking out from under the shirt sleeve of the older medic.
“Sorry to interrupt, gentlemen,” I said, knocking on the door frame, “But I saw your ink, sir, and had to say the 119th was one of the best damn group of men I ever had privilege to serve with,” I smiled. “Even if they were Marines.”
“That so?” the older man asked. “I thought they were pretty much all assholes,” he laughed. “Javier,” he said, standing and holding his hand out to me.
“Lee,” I responded.
“This is my probie, Danton,” the medic said, nodding toward the young man. I held my hand out and the young man shook it as well.
“Let me guess,” Martinez said, looking me up and down. “Squid?”
“Yes, sir. But my b—my best friend, James Macklin, had friends in the 119th, so we drank with them whenever we were all at liberty.”
I’d lied about my relationship with Mack almost automatically, even now. He hadn’t been out at the time of his death and the habit was still strong, even after all these years.
“Waitaminnit— Macklin?” Martinez asked, eying me with a question. “You knew Jimmy Macklin?”
I felt my smile widen, feeling a rekindling of that camaraderie that had been the main reason I’d joined the military in the first place.
“Yes, sir,” I replied, “But I hope you won’t hold it against me,” I chuckled.
“Not hardly, soldier,” he said, his own grin widening. “Mack was a good man and a damn good pilot,” Martinez’s grin faded a bit, and I watched as his eyes lost some of their shine. “It was a damn shame we lost him.”
As he spoke, I watched as Martinez’s brow furrowed quizzically a moment, then he said, “Wait a minute…‘Lee’? Ripley? Ripley Devereaux?” He asked, raising his eyebrow at me in question. I saw the kid pale next to him and Martinez’s eyes shuttered when he registered my name. Fuck, that was never good.
“…Yes sir.” I said, my own good humor fading as hesitation snuck into my voice as I uncons
ciously braced myself. If he was homophobic, it really didn’t matter to me anymore, but that didn’t feel right, somehow. While I didn’t recognize Martinez, Mack and I had partied with more than a few members of the 119th and they’d been good men. They really didn’t give a shit who’s “team” you batted for, as long as you had their back when shit got real. But for the first time I found myself almost hoping that all I was about to experience was some good old-fashioned, up front, in your face homophobia and not the news I feared.
“So, the twins we brought in…” Martinez asked.
“My brothers, sir,” I answered, feeling my lips press together in a thin line. “Baby brothers.”
Martinez started to speak, then saw a movement from Danton out of the corner of his eye and stopped himself. Danton looked like a new puppy, all eagerness and energy, and not a lick of sense.
“Danton, why don’t you go take five and let Devereaux and me catch up with some old war stories for a few minutes,” he said, gesturing for the young man to take a break.
“But—” Danton began, looking at the paperwork on the table, at me, then back at Martinez. I was sure for a moment he was going to object, but a sharp look from the older man had Danton on his feet and out the door. Martinez might not be military anymore, but he still knew how to give an order.
Martinez shut the conference room door behind Danton, then gestured for me to sit. I moved to take him up on his invitation to take a seat at the conference table, but my hip chose that moment to freeze up. Apparently, sitting in ER waiting room chairs didn’t agree with it.
I swallowed hard and held up a finger, silently asking for a moment from Martinez. He eyed me curiously, but didn’t say anything, just waited for the spasm to pass. Mercifully, it passed pretty quickly and I was able to take the seat after a few seconds.
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