“What—? How—?” My throat locked up and I couldn’t seem to get any words out as I stared at the beautiful drawing. I reached my hand out to touch the glass, sliding my fingers over first Mack’s face, then Mason’s. “It’s… It’s beautiful. ‘Amazing’ doesn’t begin to do it justice,” I whispered. Mason had never met Mack, but somehow he had captured the warmth of his gaze, the sardonic twist to his smile. I didn’t know what to say.
“It’s designed to be hung like a sunburst,” Mason said. “You put the larger picture in the middle, and all the smaller pictures around it,” he described, laying the pieces out on the bed so I could get the full effect.
A couple of the smaller pictures around the drawing were ones of Mason and I together. One was at the arcade, which had become a staple for our weekends together. Another was dinner at the fam’s, my parents on either side of us, Mama K holding her fingers up like bunny ears behind my head.
“Over time, we can rotate through them. Add some, remove others. But this one,” he said, tapping the glass with his fingernail, “This one stays,” he said firmly.
I gingerly set the artwork down and dragged him into my arms. I didn’t realize I was sobbing until he began kissing my forehead, moving his hands in soothing motions on my back and whispering, “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.”
I finally managed to get control of my emotions, my heart feeling so full in that moment I couldn’t even speak. After a few minutes I sniffled and sat back, finally releasing him from my grip.
“There’s more,” he said, nodding toward the box.
“More?!” I exclaimed, already overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness. He nodded at me.
“You might as well get all the ugly crying out now, because absolutely no crying is permitted for the last part of your prize,” he declared.
I sniffed. “I do not ugly cry,” I declared. The snort from his direction defied my declaration, but I’d let him get away with it for now. I reached into the box and pulled out another blue and gold wrapped package.
This one was smaller, but as I opened it, I was again met with familiar sights. Photos of Mack and me in the military, photos of us on leave, the photo where he proposed, all the photos I'd carefully packed away. Then I paused, because I started seeing pictures I didn’t recognize, pictures of a child, no more than seven or eight. I’d never seen it before, but I’d recognize that face anywhere. These were pictures of Mack when he was a kid. I looked at Mason in amazement.
“Where did you get these?” I asked.
“Well,” he began, taking a deep breath. “I have a friend who is a private detective in California. He also has some friends in the military. He may or may not have found out the city where Mack enlisted, and he did some digging from there.” Mason nodded nervously at the envelope tucked between the pages of the photo album.
“Mack had an older sister and a younger half-brother. We found their contact information,” he said. His fingers had started twisting in his hair, a sure sign of nerves. “I… You don’t have to contact them, if you don’t want to. I just… wanted you to have the option,” he said in a rush.
Again, I carefully set the photo album aside and pulled him into me, his flushed skin hot to my touch as my lips raced across his mouth, landing beside his ear.
“Thank you,” I breathed.
“You… you’re not mad?” He asked nervously.
“Baby, this is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me,” I said.
The corner of his mouth twitched and he sighed in relief. “I was a little worried I might have overstepped…” he explained.
“Nuh uh. Couldn’t happen.” I said, peppering his flushed skin with kisses. “You are the man I love. There is nothing that has to do with me that doesn’t also touch you.”
After looking through the photos for a few minutes, we moved the photo album and art to one of the dresser tops then stumbled our way back to the bed, bodies entwined. We shared another scorching kiss, before Mason pulled away, breathless.
“Um, wow,” he gasped, trying to catch his breath. “There’s one more present…”
“Mason, no, it’s too much…” I began. This was already more than I could have ever dreamed.
“Well, that’s okay, it’s not really for you, anyway,” he began. I looked at him confused. He grinned and handed me the last gift, a small blue bag covered with gold flecks - just like his eyes, I thought. I reached into the bag and pulled out a box of condoms and a new bottle of lube.
I looked at him, confused, and he laughed at me. “Okay, well maybe part of it is for you,” he began. I grinned and handed him the condoms and started to open the lube.
“Sexy fun time, now?” I asked expectantly, starting to pour some on my fingers as I itched to get my hands on our cocks.
“Um, no,” he said, stopping me. Again, I looked at him in confusion.
“I don’t understand,” I said, looking at him as he sat next to me, one hand nervously twisting in his hair.
Mason had insisted we use condoms until the next round of STD test results came back. The doctors hadn’t thought there was much risk after his initial testing, and I would have been fine skipping it, but he was insistent. He would not jeopardize my health for anything.
“It’s… that’s… um,” he stuttered, then suddenly reached out and grabbed the lube out of my hands, thrusting the condoms into them instead. “That’s… for me. These are for you.”
It took me a minute to realize what he was saying. I felt my eyes go wide and my lips form an O in surprise.
“Mason,” I began stupidly, then watched as he blushed and looked around the room and pursed his lips. Anywhere, but at me.
“Mason!” I said again, more urgently this time. His gaze sprang to mine, and I admired the way his cheeks flooded with color and the way it made his eyes stand out startlingly.
“Mason… Are you saying… Are you saying you want me… to make love… to you?” I asked. This time, there was no hesitation in his face and he nodded vehemently.
“Are you sure?” I began, and he kept nodding, but I stopped him.
“Wait, Mason, you don’t have to do this. I love everything we have done together. You don’t have to rush into this, and if you are never ready, I’m fine with it, really,” I whispered, my hand moving to the one he had wound tightly in his hair and gently stroking it until it relaxed and let go of the raven curl.
“I… I know, Lee,” he whispered, looking down for a minute at our joined hands, then up to meet my gaze. “…but I refuse to give those fuckers even one more day of my life. I’ve taken my freedom back. Taken my life back. I’ve taken everything else back from them. I want to take this, too,” he said.
“I want to take this from them and give it to you. Because I love you, and I know, with absolutely certainty, that you would never ever willingly hurt me, Ripley Devereaux.”
35
Mason
I sat there on the bed next to Lee and waited anxiously for his response. I knew with every fiber in my being that this was what I wanted to do. Now I had to find out if he wanted it, too.
Lee looked at me for a long while, his eyes searching my face for any hint of uncertainty, any fear.
“Did you talk to your therapist about this?” he asked.
I nodded. “We talked about it two weeks ago, last week and again today.”
“So… this isn’t a spur of the moment decision,” Lee asked.
“No. We’ve been… well, planning, for a while now…” I could feel the heat once more flooding up my neck and coloring my cheeks. I cursed my light complexion as I felt the heat work its way across my face.
“What do you mean, baby?” Lee asked me, his voice sending shivers down my spine.
“Well, we identified that my biggest challenge was over, well, um…p-p-penetration,” I began. I felt so stupid stuttering and stammering like a kid. I knew it was part of the process for overcoming my issues, but it still sucked.
“So,
she… uh… she recommended… um, suggested that m-maybe I try… um,” I stuttered, trying as hard as I could to get the words out and felt frustrated by my inability to get past my stupid inhibitions. I felt my breathing quicken. Fuck, if I couldn’t even talk about it, how was I going to…
“Hey…” Lee said, squeezing my hand which I now saw was digging angry red marks into my thigh. “Deep breaths. It’s okay.” He reassured me. “So, did she suggest that maybe you enjoy a little ‘alone’ time?” he suggested, his voice thick with some unnamed emotion.
I was finally able to look into his eyes and nodded.
“She, um, suggested that maybe I try a, uh… t-toy…” I began, still stuttering.
Lee nodded at me and smiled encouragingly. “Did you try one?” He asked. All I managed to do was nod awkwardly.
“What’d you think?”
“It was… well, kinda… weird,” I said, my breath coming out in a rush. “And awkward. And kind of, um, uncomfortable… at first.” I looked away again. God. I was such a freak. I couldn’t even manage a talk with my boyfriend about sex.
He caught my chin in his hand and gently tugged on it, steering my gaze back to his.
“Mason,” he said, his voice deep and rumbling. “Did I ever happen to tell you about the first time I ever tried to use a butt plug?” Lee asked.
The question took me so off guard, I couldn’t keep the bark of nervous laughter from escaping.
“Noooo… Um, sorry, No. I don’t think that ever came up in our casual conversation,” I said, laughing.
“Well, I think I was about, I dunno, fifteen? Sixteen?” he began. “I was pretty sure at that point that I was gay, but hadn’t really had anyone to explore things with, you know?”
I nodded. I’d never really even had friends once I’d moved in with Ricky, much less a boyfriend.
“So, okay, I saved up my allowance two months, along with money I’d earned mowing lawns and stuff and bought one off the internet. I had to use Mom’s credit card, which she was fine with, I just didn’t tell her what I was purchasing. My parents were pretty open and accepting about sex, but I figured that would just be a step too far, y’know?
“I rushed home from school the day it was supposed to be delivered. Since I was the oldest, it was my job to bring the mail to the house, so I figured it was a pretty safe bet that no one else would see my purchase, discreet packaging, and all that.
“Well, there were a couple of packages that day, and I couldn’t remember the name of the company I ordered from, there had been so many different stores online, but when I saw one that said it was from the ‘HoneyBun Love Store’ I figured that had to be it. I herded the kids inside and sent them to do their homework and get cleaned up for dinner. I figured I had about twenty minutes before my parents would have dinner ready, and that seemed like plenty of time.
“My moms had one room on the first floor that was dedicated pretty much as an office. The little kids weren’t allowed in there, so I ran in and tore open the package. I found the box and threw the rest of the package in the trash. I was a little disappointed, because the box was smaller than I expected, but I shoved it under my shirt and ran upstairs. Then, like any red-blooded gay male American with younger siblings, I locked myself in the privacy of my bathroom to try it out.
“So, I’m in the bathroom, and looking at this thing. It didn’t look exactly like what I remembered. It was shaped kind of like an egg, not like, well, a plug. I remember thinking to myself that maybe there were some parts I needed to order separately, like maybe it had a stand or a connecting wand or something that I'd failed to order,” he continued.
“I shrugged it off, too impatient to try it out to wait for something else to arrive, so I figured I’d give it a try. I knew enough about sex to know that I would need a lot of lube at this point, of course, so I lubed that sucker up and went to town,” he grinned at me. “It was kind of slippery, and the shape wasn’t at all what I'd expected. It was awkward and difficult, I had a hard time getting a grip on it, and it was really hard getting it in, but I figured the sex toy people had to know what they were doing, so I shrugged it off and just started playing. It still felt good, so I kept it up. I heard my parents call the kids to dinner, but I was so close, there was no way I could have left that bathroom just then. So, there I was, going at it for all I was worth, imagining getting fucked by Tom Hiddleston or something, when one of my brothers comes pounding on the door to the bathroom to tell me dinner was ready. Scared the shit out of me and I jumped, and… lost my grip,” he laughed. “…and pretty much the whole toy, too.”
“Oh, my gods, you didn’t?” I asked, my hand flying up to cover my mouth, which had popped into an O of shock.
“I did. It popped right in and I could not get that fucker out.” Lee was chuckling so hard at this point, I could barely understand what he was saying, and he took a few deep breaths before continuing. “I panicked for a few minutes, but then figured, hey, what goes in has to come out, right?” he asked, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes.
“I figured I would go downstairs, eat dinner and just, you know, let nature take its course.” He was stuck trying to catch his breath to finish the story, but he was laughing so hard, I didn’t know if he was going to make it. “Mama K and Mama D had made dinner, but had announced to the clan they were going to go ‘take a nap’ while we kids ate. Which, of course, was code for ‘go have sex’. In a house full of kids, you can imagine they didn’t get a lot of privacy.
“So, there I am, eating spaghetti and meatballs with my brothers and sister when I felt something shoot through me like lightning. I jumped to my feet so fast I knocked a plate of spaghetti on the floor and was just frozen in shock as something inside me began… vibrating.
“Oh no…” I said, the urge to laugh and cry for teenaged Lee was overwhelming.
“Oh yes… And that’s about what I was saying, too,” he laughed. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Lee howled in mock pleasure on the bed across from me. “I was worse than Meg Ryan in ‘Sleepless in Seattle’. Turns out… Mama K had a remote control vibrator they used and the remote portion had given out. They’d ordered a replacement remote for it, but turns out, it came with a whole new vibrator. The rest of the remote was still in the box I’d discarded. They’d found it and decided to see if it still worked with the old one…”
We were both laughing so hard at this point that I could barely breathe, let alone talk.
“Oh my god,” I moaned.
“Exactly. So there I was, trying to get the younger kids to eat dinner and kept having this vibrator randomly going off in my ass,” Lee wiped his eyes. “I was trying to pretend so hard that nothing was wrong, but I saw the looks on Kaine and Bishop’s faces as the vibrations got stronger, and realized it was strong enough, they could feel the vibration on the bench we shared. Just as I was trying to figure out how to get out of this, Weaver asked me what was making the weird sounds in my pocket…” He had to stop for a minute, the laughter overcoming him.
“I jumped up to head for the bathroom and, wouldn’t you know it? Damn thing nailed my gland. I was seeing stars. As soon as I could catch my breath, I ran. It took me forever and a shit ton of lube, but I ended up getting it out, finally.”
I was laughing so hard I was wheezing. The image of young Lee, trying to get the vibrator out of his ass as it kept going off, was just too funny for words.
“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you never ever use something in your ass you cannot easily retrieve,” he said.
“The worst part was the next day, when the actual plug arrived, Mama K and Mama D found it in the mail and confronted me over their lost toy. I don’t know if they thought I was just being a bratty teenager, or what, but they called me into their room to ask me if I knew what had happened to their purchase, and I had to fess up,” he finished.
“The worst… the worst part of it…” he was laughing so hard, I could barely understand him. “I tried to give it back!”
> “You didn’t!” I exclaimed, joining him in laughter until tears were rolling down both our faces.
“I did! I mean, I cleaned it and everything, but as I held it out to her, Mama D just gave me this look and said, ‘Keep it’.”
We both howled with laughter.
“So, I hope that helps. Nothing you can say to me could possibly be any worse than that story…” Lee said, pulling himself together.
I grinned at him, the urge to kiss him overwhelming. And I thought to myself, Why fight it? I reached forward and grabbed his neck, pulling him into a deep, hot, wet kiss.
“That has got to be the funniest, hottest, sexiest thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” I said, smiling as our foreheads rested together. “And it helped. Thank you.”
He leaned back, eyes still locked on mine.
“So, want to try again?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said, merriment still running through my body. “Jodi, my therapist, suggested I try using a plug, just to get used to the feeling,” I still blushed as we talked, but I was nowhere near as hesitant as I was before Lee had shared his story.
“So, I picked something up at this store the other day, and I’ve been trying it, off and on, for the last couple of weeks,” I continued. “I think I’m ready. No,” I stopped as I saw him start to interject at my lack of certainty. “I know I’m ready. I want this, Lee. I want… you,” I whispered.
Lee looked into my eyes for several long moments, searching for confirmation of my words. Whatever he saw there must have satisfied him, because he ended up nodding and reaching for the lube.
“Wait, that’s mine…” I started, but he pulled the bottle up and out of my reach.
“My job,” he said, his tone brooking no opposition. “You are trusting me with your body tonight, Mason. You’re trusting me with your pleasure. I’m going to make damn sure you enjoy this,” he growled.
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