by Jaycee Clark
It was her turn to stop. Jesslyn took a deep breath. “I know it isn’t fashionable to wait, but I can’t just do sex. I’m not programmed that way.” Though at present, her actions probably proved otherwise. “I need some time, Aiden. I’m—I’m sorry.”
She felt more than saw his grin behind her fingers. Then he kissed them, flicking his tongue against her palm. She jerked her hand back.
“I understand, Jessie. I do. There’s no need to apologize. There isn’t anything to apologize for.” He leaned over and chastely kissed her forehead, then her brows, her nose, her lips. “I had a great morning. I hope you did.”
Nervous, she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, nodded and said, “I did, yes.”
“Don’t go running by yourself, please.”
She’d see. “I’ll let you know if I’m jogging.”
He stood back and pulled away. Aiden bent down, retrieving his shirt. “I’ll be honest with you. I’d love to make love to you right now.”
Her stomach danced, her breasts tingled.
“Right here,” he continued, his voice lowing, “right now.” He leaned a bit closer, narrowing his gaze on her. “I could spend the entire day in either one, or even both of our beds.” Closer. “Both of us tangled and wanting.” His breath whispered against her lips. “Both of us loving every single moment.” For a moment he stood, staring at her lips, then his lids rose and he looked back into her eyes. He straightened. “However, I don’t think that would be wise. I want you, but only if you want me as much as I do you. Thank you for being honest. I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way.”
Not pressured. She grinned and chuckled. Her heart was still racing. God what the man could do with simple words.
Jesslyn had expected anger and wondered why. Aiden was Aiden. Though, his words, like his hands and mouth, kept her blood surging through her veins.
“Both beds?” She slid off the counter shaking her head. “No pressure. Nope. None. Well, geez thanks for understanding.”
He turned and stopped at the kitchen doorway. “Understanding is usually the easy part. It’s getting you to open up that’s difficult. No, don’t apologize again. Let’s leave it at the fact we both enjoyed what we were doing and open to the possibilities of other times like it.” His dark eyes bore into hers before he walked out into the hallway.
She stood there for a minute staring into space. The entire day? In both their beds? Shaking off the thoughts, she hurried after him, watched as he walked up the stairs.
“Aiden.” Not that she had a clue what she wanted to say to him.
He stopped, turning to her. “Our date. Seven o’clock?” His gaze still bore into hers.
“Seven o’clock.”
She started to turn back into the kitchen, but stopped, watched as a small grin teased the corner of his mouth.
“Oh, one more thing.” His voice could coax angels to sin.
“Yes?” she asked.
“I more than like you too. And I don’t do casual.”
• • •
Still nothing. They knew nothing. A town this size and everyone knew everything about anything.
And nothing.
He was surprised at the disappointment that speared him. Which was ridiculous. If he were ever caught, he’d never be able to avenge again. That would be a true waste.
He hummed Berlioz as he walked in the morning air. It was rather chilly. Of course, most mornings here were.
He smiled at the man walking a dog as he passed them on the sidewalk. Flowers grew out of pots along the walkway. Early birds were out and about. Jogging, walking, cycling. Others were grabbing breakfast.
Soon, soon it would be time to hunt again. To punish and avenge.
Quietly he walked on.
He fingered the bracelet in his pocket. He’d pulled it out the night before, watching as the moonlight sharded off the glittering diamonds.
She’d been cold. Cold and heartless, he thought. Just like the stones. That’s why he took it. They all deserved what they got. They should know better. Shouldn’t be so immoral!
The stars had winked at him, as though they understood his secret. His fate. His destiny. His.
He patted the bracelet snaking in his pocket. The gravel crunched under his feet. The morning was alive with life and a soft wind stirred restlessly.
The innocent was what was standing between him and continuing. He didn’t want to hurt her. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time was hardly a sin. But then God willed things to happen, the heavens aligned to influence things.
He sighed, still undecided about his witness. He might unfortunately have to rid himself of that worry.
He’d almost gone hunting last night, but he couldn’t. Last night there hadn’t been any screams, but then, there never were. Were there?
Chapter 10
The golden champagne tasted tart on Aiden’s tongue. He studied the woman across from him. What was she thinking?
“Will there be anything else, Mr. Kinncaid?” one of his waiters asked.
“No. Thank you, Noel.”
He watched as she took another sip of the bubbling wine and sighed. Her fingers fidgeted on the stem of the flute. Jessie looked great in anything, as far as he was concerned. But tonight she looked—breathtaking.
Lord knew the air had all but stopped in his lungs when she’d come downstairs. Her long black dress skimmed the top of her ankles. It left her arms bare, the sleeves stopping at the shoulders in some black filmy see-through material that probably had a name, but he had no idea what it was. Whatever it was, it teased him with the veiled view of collarbone, the rise of her breasts, before it ended in the solid black material of the dress. The neckline fit tight along the column of her throat. She was more provocative in that than in a mid-thigh, skintight, body molding number. Though, come to think of it, he wouldn’t mind seeing her in that either.
She’d curled her hair, pinned it up haphazardly atop her head. Tendrils fell down the back, around her face, softening the look. Did she have any idea what those wayward strands did to him? Had she left them down to purposely tease him? Knowing Jessie, probably not.
Her foot bounced back and forth, and he looked down to see the black high heel hanging from her toes. He absently wondered how much coffee she’d had today.
Stockings? His boot-wearing, jean-loving woman was wearing stockings. A grin pulled at his mouth as he set his drink on the table.
“What are you nervous about?” he asked.
Her gaze cut to him, and she uncrossed her legs, her shoe falling to the floor in the process. Aiden leaned down just as she did. Their heads knocked together as he picked up the shoe. Holding a hand to the side of her forehead, she snatched her shoe back.
“I’m not nervous.”
She leaned down to slide her shoe back on, but he took it from her. Her ankle, encased in slick stockings, was smooth as he grasped it in his hand. He watched her as he held it. With one finger, he slowly drew up her instep, circled around her inside ankle bone. Her in-drawn breath had him grinning more. She pulled her lower lip in.
“Yes, you are nervous. I know you, Jessie girl. The question is why?” He saw the goose bumps on her arm. He started to say something else, but she pulled her foot away and grabbed her shoe, sliding it on.
Aiden straightened back in his chair. “You look absolutely lovely this evening. Have I told you that?”
Her eyes held his as she straightened. “Yes, but I figure a guy like you says that to all his dates.”
“Nope, just the contrary ones.”
“Try to soften them up?” She sipped her champagne again.
Aiden cleared his throat. “With your attitude, it’s no wonder compliments are a shock.”
Her look narrowed. “I bet you kept in compliment-practice with a model. A model. I’m the one after the model.” She frowned. “Honestly, Aiden. You went out with a model, for God’s sake. You were going to marry her. I’m certain she knew what went with what
, could probably tell an Armani from a Versace at a glance. A woman who had Valentino in her wardrobe.”
She was rambling. Jessie never rambled.
Aiden grinned and leaned up on his elbows. “Something against Valentino?”
“Only designer thing I have in my closet is a pair of Italian shoes that I probably bought on sale and hardly ever wear.” She tapped her hand on the tabletop. She’d probably be pacing if they weren’t sitting at a table. Energy in motion. He’d rather the energy be in motion with him or better yet, under him. Hell, beside, on top of, as long as it was with.
“My idea of dressing up,” she continued, jerking his attention back, “is probably not yours. Dress up you say, and won’t tell me where we’re going. My idea of dressing up is a broomstick skirt and boots.”
What the hell was a broomstick skirt? He couldn’t hold it back. “Is that a skirt witches wear?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, and you know what I’m about to do with my broomstick?”
Aiden tried not to laugh. “Sex toys. Now we’re talking.” She glowered and fell silent. He reached for her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. “You look wonderful, and no I’m not just telling you that. Quit comparing yourself to Brice. She doesn’t come close to even a hair-width of what you are.”
Her look softened and he caught the beginning of one of her one-sided smiles. Her sigh relaxed her shoulders. “Of course, I’m more than she is. We contrary, bitchy types usually are.”
“Complex,” he corrected.
“I can deal with complex.” There was that grin that pulled at his gut. “Thanks for the compliment. I guess if you like it, all the time wasn’t wasted then.” Her head full of curls shook. “Do you have any idea how long it took me to get dressed? Lord, I feel like I’m back in high school or something. A week with you and I’m worried about clothes! I have no fashion sense.”
He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong with her fashion sense, but Jessie trudged on. “And I went shopping. Shopping, for the love of God. T.J. said I needed something new. I hate shopping. I can’t see what some women find so damn enjoyable about shopping for clothes.”
He leaned back and simply listened to her ramble. She was nervous, whether Jessie admitted it or not. And when she was nervous she tended to chatter. She was opening up and talking without him having to pull every little thing out of her. Whatever was on her mind just seemed to come right out of her mouth. Must be the only time she let her shields down.
She might not think she had any fashion sense, but she looked damn good to him. The long silver pendant that hung nearly to her navel caused all sorts of ideas to pop into his mind. Preferably her wearing just the pendant, or maybe the hammered arm band around her upper arm. They both gave her a pagan look. Jessie’s naked body dressed in nothing but those two pieces of jewelry gave him several lascivious ideas.
“ . . . And it’s not like this is my first date since Jerrod.” Her words pulled him back from his fantasy. “I’ve had others. There was Tim’s ‘L’ friend, but that’s not important.”
“What ‘L’ friend?”
One of the waiters came back and set platters of food in front of them. She waited until the person left, then waved her hand absently. “Leo, Lloyd. No! Lyonel. Lyle? Hell, I don’t remember.”
She was right, the man obviously wasn’t important.
Aiden finished off his champagne and watched as she talked some more, the way her hands moved, the way she leaned forward to express a point.
He’d planned to fly her to Aspen tonight, but his parents called and wanted to use the jet to fly out sometime late tomorrow or the next day. So he sent it back to Maryland that morning.
This was working out wonderfully. He liked having her all to himself in his hotel. Maybe that was incredibly selfish of him, but so be it. The dining room was empty and soft music played from hidden speakers. A romantic evening for two.
At least he hoped to hell she thought the evening romantic. There was pressuring her and there was hope.
Didn’t remember the other guy’s name? By the time the night was over, Aiden knew there was no way in hell she’d ever forget his name. Or he hoped so anyway.
• • •
Jesslyn admired the way Aiden talked, stressing a point by leaning forwards. Dinner flew by as they talked about dreams and hopes, his business and her writing, discovering small things about each other. Topics covered colors, people, moods, music, birthdays, any and everything.
She loved the way he was as casual, yet powerful in his suit as he was in jeans and a pullover. Aiden wore a dark suit. She knew enough to suspect it was custom made, and what the man could do to a suit conjured up all sorts of lustful ideas. The cobalt blue shirt matched the color of his eyes, and the multicolored silk tie, perfectly knotted, pulled the whole look together without making him seem too impersonal. In fact, she thought he looked damn appealing. Candlelight played over his features as they talked and laughed.
Being with Aiden was like nothing she’d ever experienced. She’d wondered where they’d go on this date. His restaurant, in his hotel again. What Aiden Kinncaid wanted, it seemed Aiden Kinncaid got.
Here he was in his element, at ease, gracefully confident. This was his world and he was the ruler. What did that make her? There was an energy that pulsed around them, an awareness. She’d done some deep thinking today after the scene on the countertop. She just hadn’t told Aiden what conclusion she’d come to.
Better to just show him when they got back. She’d already rattled and prattled like a socialite. And if she tried to explain this to him . . .
Aiden sat watching her and she realized neither had said a word for some time. He had that small almost-grin on his face.
“I did some thinking today,” she admitted, her chin propped in her hand.
“Did it hurt?”
She smiled. “Amazingly, not as much as I thought.”
His eyes. She could get lost in those blue depths.
“What did you think about?” he asked, his voice deep.
“Lots of things.” Jesslyn sighed, and turned her hand over when he reached for hers. “I decided no more.”
“No more? No more what?”
She took a deep breath. “No more letting fear rule my life, no more feeling sorry for myself, and no more shutting myself in isolation.”
Might as well get the rest of it out. He sat unmoving, and under that intense blue stare, she looked at the white tablecloth.
“I’ve thought about you all damn week. Ever since I saw you holding that stupid lamp in my bedroom.” She chuckled. “You make me laugh, make me smile. Which, if you ask anyone, is not easy. You make me feel alive again.” No, that was wrong. “I mean, you make me happy that I am alive, if that makes any sense.”
She wanted to look up at him to see what he was thinking about all this, but she didn’t have the guts to. “It’s degrading knowing that I’m spending my life looking out the window at the world instead of living it. So I came up with a new motto while I was getting ready this evening. Want to hear it?”
This time she chanced a look up at him. The tenderness in his gaze stilled her heart for the barest of moments.
“What is it?”
Jesslyn licked her lips and took a deep breath. “Live a little.”
Aiden’s grin made his dimple peek out at her. “Live a little?”
She smiled back. “Yeah. I had what you might call an epiphany while I was getting ready, and that’s the motto I came up with.”
“Well, guess it’s better than kick-all-ass, or something.” He rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. “What epiphany?”
She loved how he could keep enough humor in something so that she didn’t get bogged down in the oil of depression. “I’m tired of being scared. Scared of wanting more, let alone going for it.”
“What is it you want?” he whispered, his hand letting go of hers so that his thumb grazed her lip.
“You.”
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nbsp; The corners of his eyes creased as Aiden narrowed his eyes, his gaze intense and weighing. Finally, on a sigh, he said, “I need to know . . .” he trailed off.
“Yes?” It wasn’t like him to be at a loss for words.
“I can’t compete with a ghost, Jessie. I’m me. Just me. I want you to know that.” His hand holding hers again tightened and the angles of his face seemed to pull taut.
Ahhh. “Jerrod.” Jesslyn shook her head. She leaned back. Where to begin? “Jerrod was everything to me.” She squeezed his hand. “But, he’s gone. I, better than anyone, know that. He isn’t coming back. I’m here and I have a choice to pine for what was, what could have been or to live. I get to see him in dreams sometimes and that’s good. It’s like visiting with an old friend.”
There was no humor in his eyes, no shock, no condemnation or pity. Just Aiden, his silent, understanding stare.
“I loved him very much. Part of me always will, what we had. But, life chose something different for me. I don’t know what that is yet, but for the first time since I woke up in the hospital after the accident, I want to know what that plan is. I’ll always wonder what might have been, on odd days. However, it doesn’t change the facts. I’ve just tried to learn to live with it, tried not to become bitter and hard, though I guess I’m those things too.”
“You’re not bitter or hard.” The deepness of his voice hummed along her nerves. “Rough around the edges maybe . . .”
“Rough edges, huh? If you’re wondering if you have to compete with Jerrod, the answer is, no. You don’t. You have to compete with me, and that’s worse.”
He pulled his black brows down. “What do you mean?”
This conversation was surprising in the fact it was so easy. It might not make a bit of sense to him, but it was to her. The path before her seemed so clear now. Well, maybe not clear, but for the first time in three years she could at least see a damn path.
Jesslyn nibbled on her bottom lip. How to explain? “I’m actually thinking of spending time with another man. Of being with another man. And I don’t just mean—that is—it’s not just sex. It’s you. It’s fighting, and laughing, and wondering what you’re doing.” Her finger absently traced a pattern on the tabletop. She stopped.