by Linda Bridey
“What the hell were you thinking?” Dean said as soon as he saw Marcus the next day.
Marcus had come to help Dean geld a couple of colts. Seth was out moving part of the herd to a new pasture. Lydia was on a walk with the kids. They’d gone to pick some early spring berries they’d located on one of the trails.
Marcus frowned. “What are you talking about?”
Dean snatched the letter from Theresa O’Connor from a drawer in the kitchen and thrust it at his best friend. “Read it.”
Marcus unfolded the paper and began scanning the page. His mouth curved in a smile that grew the more he read. He finished and handed the letter back to Dean.
“I’ll be damned. She sounds like a keeper,” he said.
“Why did you put that ad in the paper?”
“Because you said I should, that you thought it was a good idea,” Marcus answered.
Dean let out an exasperated sigh. “I was being sarcastic.”
“I know,” Marcus said with a nod, “but you need a wife. You need help with those kids. It’s not going to be long before Sadie is a young woman. Are you gonna talk to her about womanly matters?”
“Lydia will do that,” Dean said.
Marcus harrumphed. “Lydia and Charles have their own kids to raise. You could certainly use a woman around here and one in your bed. You might be nicer to be around.”
Dean whipped his head around, ready to berate Marcus but his brother held up a hand.
“I know, Sarah was the love of your life, but the fact is she wouldn’t want you stay single the rest of your life and she’d want someone helping to take care of those kids. If you don’t know, there’s a shortage of women in these parts so the pickings are slim,” Marcus said. His gray eyes, so much like their mother’s, were serious. “If you’re not after love, at least be practical. Maybe you won’t fall head over heels for someone, but you could be somewhat happy and have a good life.”
Dean stayed silent for a few moments and saw the wisdom in Marcus’ words. His grief over Sarah’s death had colored his life for so long and he just couldn’t shake the feelings that he would be replacing her if another woman came along. Marcus may have been wiser than he about the subject and Dean knew he had to take his children’s welfare into consideration.
He gave Marcus an unsure glance and said, “What the heck would I say to her if I did write? I can’t compete with that letter.”
Marcus smiled. “It’s not a competition, Dean. You just say what you feel.”
“I don’t know how I feel. No woman is gonna make the trip out here if I say that,” Dean said.
“I’ll tell you what. You give me a general idea what you wanna say and I’ll write the letter.”
Dean mulled over Marcus’ offer. Marcus had the most education out of the three brothers and certainly wrote better than he did. “Okay. Um, just tell her what we’re like and that I’m a hard worker and she sounds real nice. Oh, and tell her about the ranch.”
“Done,” Marcus said. “Now let’s get to those colts.”
All through the day, Dean kept thinking about that letter and wondering about the woman who’d written it. Why was she contemplating moving to an unknown land that was barely settled? She seemed smart and nice. Why couldn’t she find a man in Pittsburgh? He assumed there was a good reason and decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.
By the time Dean’s day was through, he was exhausted. That was nothing new, though. He welcomed the work and the fatigue because they kept thoughts away that he didn’t want to deal with. That night, however, he had something new to think about and it kept him awake for a while.
He lay in the bed in which he and Sarah had made love in so many times and wondered how he could ever share it with someone else. Dean reached over and ran his hand over the side of the bed where Sarah had slept. What would it feel like to have a womanly figure lying next to him again?
“Sarah, I don’t know about all this. Marcus tells me I need to find someone to marry, to be a mother to our children, but I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do. I still miss you so much and I don’t think I can love someone like that again.” Dean fought the tears that threatened. “You always said you’d be with me no matter what. I hope you’re with me now. There’s times when I think I hear you laugh or feel you next to me. If you are around, can you give me some sort of a sign?”
He waited but nothing happened. Dean laughed at himself, thinking he was incredibly foolish to expect some sort of otherworldly sign. He rolled over away from Sarah’s side of the bed and eventually nodded off.
Chapter Four